Kim Geun-cheol's Bizarre Adventure # 1
Kim Geun-cheol's Bizarre Adventure # 1
"What do you mean, nothing but skin and bones? I look fine."
"Half your face is gone!"
A clear exaggeration!
Yesterday was a bit rough, sure, but when I looked in the mirror while washing up this morning, I looked perfectly fine!
"You seem to have perked up a little, but you definitely need more nutrients! Honestly! Just how much do I have to look after you? Let's have dinner together tonight!"
Leona shouted, her face full of concern. But I already mooched eel off her yesterday. Mooching again today feels a bit much.
"Ah, Leona. I'm telling you, I'm fine. Look. I'm completely recovered today."
"Even so!"
"It's fine, it's fine. Instead, I'll treat you to barbecue this weekend. Let's eat together then."
"T-together on the weekend?"
"Yeah."
"Ugh... what do you mean, treat me? Honestly, it's ridiculous. I can't let a nobody like Kim Geun-cheol treat me."
"Just let me. I'm buying no matter what, so deal with it. If you don't, you want me to throw a tantrum right here?"
"Well, in that case..."
Leona, who'd calmed down at the news that I was treating her to barbecue, headed back to her seat. See? Kitty, Leona—both of them are women who genuinely love their meat.
"This bastard's buying all the meat? Yo. I'm coming too, yeah?"
Yu-ri sidled over, giggling.
"Heh-heh-heh, come on."
"Anyway, after faking sick yesterday, you're finally feeling better? Huh?"
Even as she spoke, Yu-ri suddenly locked me in a headlock!
"Gah! Gah! No! I'm telling you, yesterday I just wasn't feeling well!"
"Don't give me that crap. Starting today, it's back to swordsmanship training. Got it? Anyway, let me catch you looking as pathetic as yesterday again. I'll straight-up drag you to the dojo and reformat your brain."
"Roger that!"
Getting dragged there is not an option!
"Bastard."
With that, Yu-ri also went back to her seat. I really wish she'd be a little more mindful when she puts me in that headlock, though. Her chest keeps pressing against my face...!
—Thump.
I took my seat, and then.
"Feeble creature."
Ryu, sitting behind me, pronounced gravely with his arms crossed.
"What?"
"When the mind is hollow, the body likewise grows hollow. You remain nothing more than pathetic."
"You little... Ryu, looks like somebody needs a lesson in discipline."
"Discipline? The likes of you is going to discipline me?"
"Should I drop by your house sometime soon?"
"Wh-what?!"
"Yes, A-ra. This is Geun-cheol. Ryu said he wants to hang out with me soon, so..."
"Who are you calling?!"
Ryu yelled in horror as I pretended to make a call.
"Heh-heh-heh, who do you think?"
"Why in the world do you call another man's older sister as if it's the most natural thing?!"
"Who knows? Why might that be? Anyway, watch yourself, Ryu... one wrong move and whoosh! I might just pay a visit to your place..."
"Sh-shut up! Such a preposterous thing would never be tolerated!"
It's totally tolerated, obviously.
"Tch!"
Once I'd settled down the still-grumbling Ryu and sat down, Mun Min and Brian came over.
"Kim Geun-cheol, that fake-sick cosplay was seriously hardcore. This is exactly when you gotta jump him and wreck his shit."
"Oh, Big Cheol! Will you just take that from Mun Min! Quickly, do Mun Min in! You must shatter his spirit!"
"This cultist foreign bastard, seriously!"
What is this comedy duo?
"Heh-heh-heh, yo. Mun Min. Even at less than 100%, you're still just one-punch material, man."
"Let's have a spar sometime soon. I'll make sure those words get shoved right back in."
"Oh, fight! Fight!"
While I was arguing with those two crazy nutjobs, Instructor Lee So-ra came in.
"Alright, attention. As you know, the reserve forces have been called up. Therefore, we will no longer be doing external volunteer activities. The reservists will handle the otherworldly species. We will take a moment of silence for them. Stand. Class president? Begin."
"Yes! A moment of silence!"
At Leona's signal, we observed the moment of silence.
—Bwoo-woong, bwoong.
And the music honoring our patriotic martyrs and the spirits of national defense rang out. Wait, are they really doing this?
"Heroes sacrifice themselves, but ordinary citizens also bear the heavy burden of military duty, serving and sacrificing for society. I hope you do not forget that spirit. Alright, morning assembly is over. Everyone, proceed to the gymnasium."
"Proceed!"
"Proceed!"
Alright.
I'm fully revived, so let's hit class with some real energy!
"Si-hoo! Let's go!"
"Yeah. By the way, Geun-cheol, you're treating everyone to meat this weekend?"
"Yup! Let's all go! Leona, Yu-ri, all of us together. Heh-heh-heh. Gotta get our meat on this weekend."
"Heh-heh, that's Geun-cheol for you, always on point. Ah. Guess I don't need to cook that day. I'll gratefully dig in."
"You do that."
To the gymnasium.
* * *
In the morning, we had Instructor Lee So-ra's combat technique class.
By now, all of my classmates have gotten used to superhuman movement. We ran at high speed, jumped high, scaled walls, sprinted while overcoming obstacles, and repeatedly practiced close-quarters combat with mock firearms.
We were literally being reborn as human weapons. Maybe it's because Kitty worked me over so badly yesterday. I trained really hard, and Instructor Lee So-ra even praised me for it.
Then, after a delicious lunch at the buffet, it was time for Instructor Kawar's magic period.
Although, we just call it magic—we're still just practicing making mana shields and barriers. We'll probably do only this the entire first semester. Instructor Kawar said you have to build a solid foundation in defense training during the lower grades to survive in real combat.
I couldn't agree more.
Anyway, I gave this training my all too. And got praised again. Honestly, my mana shield is at a level that would work in a real fight. After those physical classes were over, we had theory time.
School's out once this is finished... but we got through it without incident, just taking notes. When the dismissal time came, Instructor Lee So-ra called for me.
"Kim Geun-cheol? The decision on your disciplinary action is out."
"Ah, man. Truly a nerve-wracking moment."
It's about that gun I brought in last time.
"So what kind of decision is it?"
"After discussion, it was determined you simply brought it to show off your spoils. Furthermore, considering your high merit in protecting civilians and eliminating monsterkin during the process of acquiring said spoils, we have decided not to impose any punishment."
"Wahoo! I'm saved! Ah!"
I've been given a new lease on life!
"Anyway, regarding the firearm, Kim Geun-cheol. Are you aware of the firearms possession license system?"
"There's such a thing?"
"Of course there is. You hopeless fool! Turn in that gun by tomorrow. I'll hold onto it. Please, at least learn some common sense."
Suddenly, Instructor Lee So-ra barked at me and yanked my ear!
"Gah, gah! Yes! Yes! I'll bring it right away!"
"Then be on your way."
"Yes! I'm going! Let go, please!"
"Hmph."
At that, Instructor Lee So-ra finally let go of my ear... No, seriously. I thought my ear was going to come off.
"Still, doing something like that outside of school is highly commendable. Have you already achieved the mindset of a hero?"
"Heh-heh-heh, of course. Once you decide to be a hero, the mindset is the first thing you have to equip."
"Big talker, aren't you."
"Then, Instructor. I'll see you tomorrow."
I said my goodbyes and went outside.
"Yu-ri! All done!"
"Crazy gun-nut bastard. How many years of hard labor?"
"They let me off 'cause I'm a minor."
"What a crazy country."
Yu-ri, who'd been waiting for me, snickered as she walked up beside me.
"If the law won't punish you, then I've got no choice but to do it myself. Kim Geun-cheol is dead meat. Get ready to pay. Don't think you're getting off easy just 'cause you were a wreck yesterday. Got it?"
"Yeshshir!"
She was bursting with enthusiasm, since we'd skipped a day.
Which is exactly what I wanted.
Right now, Kim Geun-cheol is in peak form. Totally topped off. On a day like today, only extreme training is gonna bump up my stats.
"Let's go!"
"Hurry up!"
And so, I trained powerfully, just the two of us with Yu-ri.
* * *
A truly ordinary day.
"This is what a normal life looks like."
Today, I really gave it my all in class. Ate properly. After school, trained intensely with Yu-ri. Then came back and cooked with Si-hoo, while we went over what I'd realized and exchanged ideas for improvements. Got various feedback on my movements, too.
It was a truly full, energetic day, you couldn't ask for more.
But.
"Hmph."
My stats didn't go up today. After working this hard, it could've at least thrown me a point of Stamina, but I didn't even get that.
No quests popped up, either.
No monster kills, so no coins earned.
"As I thought."
Does this mean simply learning and training at school doesn't really help? No. No way. What I felt while learning and training today was the clear fact that I am improving.
"But mere stats get to judge that?"
Ridiculous.
I can feel it that clearly.
Anyway.
It's nighttime now, after I finished eating with Si-hoo, shot the breeze for a bit, and we each went back to our rooms. If I'm going to do something alone, this is the only time I have. How can I best use this time to keep growing... the moment I thought that—
—Bzzzz.
Right under my feet as I stood still in the living room.
"Wh-whoa?!"
A gate materialized!
—Shoop!
My body instantly sank through and I fell!
"Shit!"
I immediately tried to grab the edge of the gate and launch myself back into the room, but the gate had no physical substance. My hand passed right through it, smooth as could be.
And so.
"Uwaaaaaaaaaah!"
I fell inside the gate, just like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole!
"Kitty, you son of a biiiiiitch! Hey! What the hell are you doing to your big brooooo!"
I knew it on instinct! It was Kitty who'd done something! Even so, to pull a stunt like this when I'm just relaxing at home!
The moment I decided that the next time I saw her, I'd give her butt a good spanking—
—Thump.
Softly, gently.
I landed.
"Uh."
And what spread out before my eyes was.
"The fuck?"
A completely bizarre space.
—Ding.
[You have entered a dungeon.]
[Current personnel: 1.]
A dungeon?