New Skill # 6
New Skill # 6
The World-Destroying Asura-balteukma Jjamppong.
"Khaaaahk!"
I never thought I'd end up eating this murderous jjamppong again, just from hearing the name...!
My lips were ballooning out of control. If I just plucked 'em off right now and sold 'em, people would absolutely believe they were plums. Fresh Kim Geun-cheol lip plums at a special discount price—guaranteed to sell like crazy.
"Aaaaaagh! Fuck!"
Anyway, the inside of my mouth is literally on fire!
"Fufufu. Don't swear."
Leona, however, was just slurping her jjamppong without a care in the world, smiling at me.
Seriously, how the hell is this possible?
"This is agony, Leona! How on earth can you eat this and be perfectly fine!"
"Your mouth, your esophagus. And your stomach. If you shield them with magic power, a jjamppong of this caliber is nothing at all."
What?!
"Beep! Foul! Leona, that's a foul! Hey! How is it fair that I'm suffering through this spicy hell while you pull that!"
"This is also training, you know. If you've got a complaint, why don't you try copying me?"
"That's cheap...!"
"The world's always been cheap. In that case, Kim Geun-cheol! This time, I'll feed it to you!"
Using the ladle-shaped spoon, she scooped up a generous amount of broth. She gently laid some noodles on top, blew on it—fwoo, fwoo—and held it out to me.
"Here we go. Say aah. Come on, say aah. That's a good Kim Geun-cheol."
"Save me...!"
Normally, this'd be a romantic scene, but there is absolutely nothing romantic about this!
You know that famous variety show, 1 Night 2 Days? This is worse than watching the cast get forced into penalty games. When you're watching it's funny, but when it's happening to you it's pure horror. No. Wait. That doesn't even cover it. This feels like they rounded up a bunch of convicts to film a 1 Night 2 Days special and made 'em carry out borderline-torture punishments.
"Come on, hurry. Don't drag it out. Eat it. My arm's gonna fall off here."
"I'm eating...!"
Still, no way in hell am I turning down being hand-fed by Leona herself!
I opened my mouth wide and chomped down on the spoon.
"Good. Gooood boy. Well done."
She said that with a face like the goddamn Virgin Mary. Leona's got two sides to her. Archangel and Archdevil.
"Khab!"
The spiciness promptly erupted inside my mouth...! The pain's so unbearable I'm on the verge of tears!
"Don't cry. There, there, Kim Geun-cheol."
—Wipe, wipe.
Leona pulled out a tissue and kindly wiped my eyes with it... Isn't that too sweet? A woman who pulls out a tissue and personally wipes your tears when you're crying.
"Kheuh! Hahh, hahh... hahh."
Anyway, the moment I swallowed, sweat burst out all over my body.
This is genuinely brutal.
"How is it?"
"H-honestly, it's fucking delicious... Seriously goddamn amazing."
Extreme spiciness.
Inside it lurks an exquisite taste. This jjamppong ain't famous for nothing. It's hotter than hell itself, but just as delicious.
"But look at my lips."
"Fufufu. They've gone full-on duck lips now."
"You think this is funny?"
"They look like they'd pop if I poked 'em. Can I poke 'em?"
"No!"
They seriously will pop!
"Well. Anyway, it tastes good, so that's what matters. Here, Kim Geun-cheol. If you want to drive out the pain, hmm? Try coating your insides with magic power. That's also part of your training."
"Is that right...! Hahh! Hahh!"
Whatever it takes, I want to shake off this spiciness a single second faster. So I focused as hard as I could and tried wrapping my tongue and the roof of my mouth with magic power.
"Hup!"
Of course, it's not easy. Coating the inside of your mouth with magic power? That's not normally possible, after all. But concentrating on it did seem to make things a bit better.
"Hahh, hahh. No, wait. Leona, do you do this every single day?"
"I just do it whenever the moment calls for it. You're supposed to do this kind of thing like breathing."
"As expected of a master. Kheup! Hahh! Ah, seriously, it's so fucking spicy!"
The spiciness seriously won't let up!
But while I was suffering like this, it suddenly occurred to me—what kind of reaction would Leona have if she ate this stuff raw?
"Hold on, Leona."
"Yes?"
"Try eating that with the coating off."
"What did you say?"
"I'm telling you to drop the magic power coating in your mouth and try eating it. You seriously need to taste this for real, Leona. It's a genuinely fascinating flavor."
"Fufufu. Kim Geun-cheol?"
Abruptly, Leona folded her arms and smiled.
"Do you actually believe I'm some spice wimp who can't eat spicy food without a magic power coating? I simply do this as a matter of course. I am not afraid of spicy food."
"Okay. Then I'll make you some."
I immediately grabbed a fresh spoon, plunged it deep into her bowl to scoop up the broth, then picked up a new pair of chopsticks to gently lay some noodles on top.
"Eat up."
"Eh, eh?"
"What?"
"Kim Geun-cheol is going to feed me...?"
That's right.
You fed me too, didn't you?
"Eat it, quick."
"W-well, I suppose I have no choice! Since you've offered to feed me, Kim Geun-cheol, I'll eat it just this once!"
And so.
"Aaah."
Leona bit down on the spoon I offered.
With her magic power coating completely dropped, at that.
"..."
Leona quietly ate the jjamppong that had entered her mouth.
"Fhoo."
She let out a breath.
"How is it?"
"It's delicious."
"Whoa! Not a single crack in the composure!"
Wow! Superhumans really are superhumans! Not a single flinch!
"Of course. Did you think I was the same as you, Kim Geun-cheol?"
"As expected! Leona, you're amazing!"
"I am rather amazing, after all!"
"Let's try something even spicier! The spiciest thing here! Wanna try it the same way!"
"Excellent! Let's go all the way today!"
Leona, her excitement now fully stoked, ordered the most special dish in the restaurant—the spiciest jjamppong in the world.
"Kyaaaaaaahk!"
And I got to witness Leona screaming.
"Spicy! This is fucking spicy! Kyahaaaahk! Oh my god!"
"Keekeekeek."
"What are you laughing at, Kim Geun-cheol!"
"Leona. Hold still. I'll feed it to you!"
"Nooooooo!"
Leona wasn't absolutely invincible after all!
* * *
"..."
Leona returned home.
"Kheut...!"
She barely managed to suppress the scream that was bursting to get out.
Somehow, she'd ended up feeding Kim Geun-cheol jjamppong and getting fed by him in return. Thinking about it made embarrassment surge up to the point of overflowing.
The image of Kim Geun-cheol scooping broth with the ladle-shaped spoon and gently laying noodles on top kept replaying in her mind. Recalling it made something tickle in her chest...
"I've gone crazy! Crazy! How could I do something that embarrassing!"
After rampaging briefly to cool off her embarrassment, Leona pulled out the chair in front of her desk and sat down. She leaned forward slightly, cradling her forehead in her clasped hands.
"Fhoo. I've seriously become a total Geun-cheol Mom. Indulging all his little whims like that."
She's self-aware.
That she's been looking after Kim Geun-cheol quite a lot. And that she feels happy whenever Kim Geun-cheol shows he's pulled something off well.
Is this what they call a mother's heart?
"Mom."
A bit later tonight, she'd have to give her a call, Leona thought.
"Still, picking Woo Yu-ri over me again. That I absolutely can't forgive."
She, Leona, invited him on Sunday, and he had a prior engagement? And with Woo Yu-ri, just like last time? There's no way that can be tolerated.
That's why, annoyed as she was, she'd impulsively ended up feeding him jjamppong.
"..."
No, but wait.
What on earth is going on here?
"Kim Geun-cheol having weekend plans... And with Woo Yu-ri, no less."
She'd never even considered such a thing. So she was almost bewildered. He said with words that he's going to a dojo, but...
"Suspicious. Profoundly suspicious."
You normally wouldn't ask someone to come along like that. Isn't that the case? Because there's no reason to ask someone like Kim Geun-cheol.
Maybe.
The two of them have gotten fairly close. In fact, they regularly hang out together, sparring and training in swordsmanship.
So naturally, they'd become close.
And when a man and a woman get close... the probability of naturally developing into a deeper relationship...
"I need to confirm it. I have to confirm it."
Confirmation.
That's required.
She absolutely must confirm what kind of relationship Kim Geun-cheol and Woo Yu-ri have.
"It's not like I'm specifically planning to get in their way, but... dating, at a time when you should be focusing on your studies! Kim Geun-cheol! Do you think I'd tolerate such a thing!"
Dating, at a time when you should be focusing on studies and training!
Leona believed that as class president she had to guide her classmates. She immediately stood up and headed for the storage room.
"Ah, here it is."
Precision Monster-Observation Binoculars.
Camouflage Cloak.
"Camouflage is my specialty, after all."
* * *
Today was a pleasant Sunday.
When I got to the meeting spot with Yu-ri first thing in the morning, there was a scary-looking blonde ponytailed lady leaning against the wall, scrolling on her phone.
The moment I approached her.
"Yo. Hey. Kim Geun-cheol. Why the hell are you late, you little shit? Wanna die?"
Yu-ri recognized me and waved her hand.
"Yo. It's five minutes before. Anyway, good morning. So, shall we head out? To the dojo?"
"What's the rush? You eat breakfast?"
"Nah. Just came straight out."
"Then let's get food first."
"'Kay."
Food sounds good.
"The fuck. 'Kay, my ass. Keuk keuk."
Yu-ri snickered as she came and stood next to me.
"So what're we eating?"
She was the one who suggested eating, and now she's casually asking me.
"Burgers?"
"Sounds good."
So I went into the fast-food joint with Yu-ri. We ordered something decent and took a seat.
"No, but, Yu-ri. What's this dojo thing all of a sudden? Something happen?"
"Ah, well. It's just, y'know."
Just, y'know?
"It came up while I was talking at home. I mentioned that, in my own way, I've been doing a bit of instructor practice by teaching a classmate friend some stuff. So they told me to bring you to the dojo once."
"That so?"
But hold on.
"No, Yu-ri. Isn't this a little suspicious?"
"What is?"
"Isn't this where some guy who's not even an official instructor suddenly gets chewed out for recklessly teaching swordsmanship?"
"Hah?"
"Like, the moment we get there a bunch of scary broad-shouldered sword big brothers show up and mess me up."
"The hell you on about, dumbass. You're my guest, why the hell would they pull crap like that?"
"No, I'm just saying that could happen."
A dojo is a little scary, honestly.
The swordsmanship dojo in my head is literally a space where sword-wielding big brothers grin like maniacs while hacking away at stuff and training. There's no way a place like that is normal.
"Whatever, cut the bullshit. Just go with it. Check out each other's skills a bit. Spar a little. Do some training. Why would they do crap like that?"
"Then I'm relieved."