School Life is Fucking Spectacular # 5
School Life is Fucking Spectacular # 5
"Hahahahahahaha!"
So I'm buzzing with excitement, looking for the training grounds, and the school store catches my eye.
Which is even more exciting, obviously! I was getting hungry anyway, so let's inhale some Don-gapnaegi before training!
I was just looking for this—perfect!
My mood started skyrocketing. The school store, man. This really brings back memories of the good old school days.
It was past 5 p.m. anyway. That after-school time when the gentle breeze and the beautiful sunset sky hit you right in the nostalgia.
Back then, at this exact hour, I'd always be sprinting to the PC café with my friends. We had to run faster than anyone so those bastards from the other school didn't hog all the seats first.
We were always in a state of total war back then. Even during exam periods, fuck. If you slacked off even a little, all five PC bangs below the school would fill up instantly. But after I grew up, I went back and all but one of them had gone under. I guess the low birth rate's a real problem.
—Entering with a jump is the standard.
Anyway, I went jumping into the big, fancy school store while reminiscing about the old days, and.
"The fuck?"
Is this an unmanned store?
Everyone knows a school store is supposed to be run by a snack lady. This big, clean store just had vending machines lined up inside.
And there weren't any other students using it either.
"Tch."
A school store's only good when it's packed with people. It's got no human smell—no human smell at all. Is this what they call the downside of modernization?
I felt a little disappointed, but I didn't waste time discussing it. I pulled my card out of my wallet and stood in front of the vending machine.
You're all dead, fuck.
You bastards, brace yourselves. Underestimating the stomach of a high schooler—a superhuman high schooler, no less—is a serious mistake. We burn way more calories than normal humans. I'm wrecking all of you. Gonna wreck it like Soon-wook wrecks a lunchbox.
Alright, let's see. Do they have Don-gapnaegi... they do!
"They have Don-gapnaegi!"
That cheap-ass hamburger that's your partner through school life! I can honestly say, without a doubt, a school life without this isn't a real school life! Without it, you're bound to end up gloomy and depressed!
Kya! Don-gapnaegi from the school store!
I can't help but be in awe.
"Huhuhu!"
I let my uncontrollably good mood just explode out.
—Beep.
—Beep.
—Beep.
I got two Don-gapnaegi, a Yukgaejang, and a Picnic. I guess it's not enough that I screamed my lungs out with excitement—I also skipped lunch. I'm on the verge of starving to death right now.
—Rip.
I immediately tore open the Yukgaejang, dumped in the soup powder, and filled it from that stainless-steel hot water dispenser every school store has, then I slightly peeled back the Don-gapnaegi wrappers and threw them in the microwave.
With the setup complete, I sat down.
"This is high school."
—Snap.
I split the wooden chopsticks, jabbed them into the Yukgaejang with its steam curling up, and just fucking destroyed it. And that's not all—pop. I stabbed a straw into the Picnic too.
—Rip!
I tore open the Don-gapnaegi as well!
"This is high school...!"
A younger body!
Explosive appetite!
—Whoosh!
I immediately scooped up a huge bunch of Yukgaejang noodles with the wooden chopsticks, soaked them in the broth, and shoved them into my mouth before any could drip.
"Khuha!"
Insanely delicious!
After chewing and swallowing the noodles, I took a swig of Picnic, then grabbed a Don-gapnaegi and took a huge bite.
Pure bliss.
That greasy taste unique to cheap hamburgers wraps itself around my tongue. Time to cut that flavor with some Yukgaejang broth.
While I'm doing this, memories from my high school days come bubbling up. My main daily routine was running to the school store after second period and eating Don-gapnaegi with my friends. Was Picnic 500 won back then? We sure ate a lot of that stuff. I remember it wasn't a particularly good drink, but it was better than chugging Narangd Cider.
"Ah, but I missed the school lunch."
Ares Academy.
It's a superhuman training institution, but in the end, it's a school that high schoolers attend. Obviously they'd serve lunch, and I haven't gotten to try it yet. Tomorrow, I'm eating it no matter what. It's supposed to be a superhuman school, so I figure the food has to be good.
My old high school, fuck. They used to serve spaghetti and doenjang stew at the same time. Isn't it usually soup? It's bound to be better than that.
But wait, they wouldn't make us use meal tickets, right? That's kind of an ominous thought.
"Hoo."
I came to my senses and found that I'd completely decimated the Yukgaejang, two Don-gapnaegi, and even the Picnic. Victorious through countless battlefields. Those little puny bastards. I'll have to come back tomorrow.
—Clatter.
I cleaned up everything I ate and got up. And well, as the quest told me, I went looking for the Cadet Training Grounds.
"This place is huge, I'm saying."
The school grounds are seriously huge.
It's practically the size of an apartment complex. It's not just wide—there are a ton of big buildings too. Places like this always have signs... found it.
"Hmm."
East side, huh.
I headed east right away and.
"Ohh."
[Cadet Training Ground]
A really massive training ground building appeared. So that's what it was. But what is this, a commercial fitness center? It's incredibly wide and big.
"Aww."
"Hey, wanna go wreck some shit and then hit the PC café?"
"Go."
And it looked like a lot of students use it. Students carrying weapons were gathered in groups of three or five, chatting as they came in and out of the training building.
Alright. I should go too. I'd only ever worked out very lightly, but hearing that it was a training ground got my motivation flaring up. Men are creatures who love holding a weapon and doing something, aren't they?
—Step, step.
I dodged the students going in and out and went inside. Looking around, I saw people with different colored name tags. That must be the grade distinction.
"Let's see."
It's a very sleek space.
A wide corridor stretches left and right, with transparent doors placed at regular intervals. And above each door, there's an [In Use] sign lit up. I looked around for an empty one, and there was exactly one left.
My luck's good.
"Good."
I went right inside.
"Spacious, damn?"
The inside was wider and higher than I expected. But what kind of training are you supposed to do in here? Looking around, I saw a fancy kiosk-like machine placed near the door. Or was it more like a pachinko machine? It looked a bit like one of those Japanese rhythm game machines.
I skimmed the screen, and it said something about being able to set holographic training conditions or whatever.
This is hard for an old-timer.
Please install more friendly machines.
"More importantly, where's the quest?"
It told me to enter the training grounds, so I did, but the completion notification isn't popping up. Does it only count as entry once I actually use the facility? Fine. Might as well give it a shot. I'll probably be using this a lot from now on, so mastering how to use the training center before I leave would be good.
Besides, I did just eat two Don-gapnaegi.
The current me is invincible.
No one can beat me.
I feel so convinced of this that I believe I could even endure it if Instructor Kawar put me through that terror experience training again. For a high schooler, Don-gapnaegi is a dangerous substance that means more than a mere stimulant. You could call it a kind of meth or ice.
"Let's see."
So, the moment I reached out to operate the kiosk-like machine.
—Creak.
Suddenly, the door opened and some guys came in.
"Huh? What's this? Hey. There's a first-year in here?"
The first one in, a blond guy with red earrings, held the door open and said that while looking back outside. And then, as that guy stepped all the way inside, a whole group of them came filing in.
Looking at their name tags, they're upperclassmen.
"What? It didn't say In Use."
"Guess he was about to start."
"So what do we do? This is the only room left, isn't it?"
"Ha, fuck. It's a new semester so it's packed to shit, seriously."
"These damn first-years are no help at all."
What are these bastards?
I was there first, and they just barged in and started bitching and moaning. Those little shits had no sense of... anyway, there were four of them. Three guys came in first and were muttering away, and there looked to be a girl in the very back.
Anyway, let's kick them out. I'm busy too.
"Excuse me? Seniors? I got here first, so I'll be using it. I'm about to get started, so could you please leave?"
"What?"
As soon as I spoke politely, the guy with the green perm responded aggressively.
"Yes? No. I'm saying I need to use the training room."
"No, you motherfucker. This little first-year shit?"
Little shit?
"What, you punk?"
"What?"
"What, a first-year shit? What about a first-year shit, you son of a bitch. What did you just say?"
"Wh-what? Hey, shit. Ha, hahaha. This guy's crazy?"
He pointed at me and laughed like it was some big show. The aggro was already drawn. The upperclassman shoulder-brothers were already looking at me with interest.
"Ooh. What's this kid acting up for?"
"Right? Fuck. Outta nowhere, he throws a fit? He might actually be crazy."
"This dude got scared by a first-year."
"Who's scared, dumbass."
The sight of them giggling like this was some kind of fun event is unbearable. You pick a fight with me after I just ate some Don-gapnaegi and am in a good mood?
"You cursed at me first and now you're standing there throwing a demented fit. Hey. Just fuck off, asshole."
"You motherfucker!"
—Grab!
As I talked with sharp hand gestures, the perm-haired guy grabbed me by the collar.
"You grabbing my collar now?"
"Are you seriously looking to die? What makes you so cocky, huh?"
"What makes me cocky, you bastard."
Common sense.
"Ah, fuck, what are you gonna do. So you're gonna hit me in school? Go ahead and fucking hit me if you're gonna, you piece of shit. How the hell were you raised, you little brat, that you're throwing curses at someone the moment you meet them? You don't know that if you curse first, you get cursed right back? You threw the first one out like it was nothing, and now that you caught one back, you act all offended. Fucking punk with his stupid-ass hair."
"No, you fuck—...!"
"Isn't that the truth? Answer me, you moron."
Yeah, so what the fuck. On top of that, I already had a run-in this morning with Ryu Cheon-hwi. I memorized these bastards' names. First thing tomorrow, I'm either kicking up a storm at the faculty office or barging into the Chairwoman's office and wailing—one of the two. If a group of guys carrying lethal weapons gang up on me, that's special assault. And they even closed the door at night?
"You're seriously dead—"
Right at the moment I was about to get hit.
"Guys. How about we calm down a bit?"
The tall blond girl who'd been watching quietly in the back stepped forward and spoke.
"Min-su. Is it a good look for you to fight a first-year?"
"No! I wasn't even thinking of fighting, but this bastard suddenly—!"
"Min-su, you did curse at him first. Apologize."
Was this girl the leader?
When he heard that, the green-permed guy let go of my collar, looking displeased, and said.
"Hoo, hoo...! Hey. I'm sorry. I got a bit hot-headed."
Whoa, this guy tucked his tail right in.
"Okay. Good job, Min-su. Now, you... you're first-year Geun-cheol? Would you apologize a bit too? Let's end this on a good note."
If that's the case, sure.
"Yes. I got suddenly angry too, so I did that. I'm not really hot-headed, but I do have a bit of a sharp temper. Sorry about that."
"No, but that's...!"
"Then that's the end. Min-su, keep quiet."
"Glad this ended well. So, seniors. I'd like to use the training room, so could you please leave?"
The moment I said that, the leader smiled and grabbed my shoulder.
"Hey, Geun-cheol. The thing is, we're kind of busy today."
"Huh?"
"Could you let us go just this once? We've got some training we absolutely have to do, and this is the only room left right now."
So that was your plan all along, you bastards?
That moment.
—Ding!
―――――――――――――――――
「Quest Generated」
「Repel the hostile cadets」
「Reward : 300 Coin」
―――――――――――――――――
Fuck, now I obviously have to!!!
"Hey, Geun-cheol?"
"Would it be okay if I cried a little?"
"Huh?"
"Uwaa! Uwoo! Uwaaaaaaaaah! Uwaaaaaaaaah! Awaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Uwaaaaaaaah! Khgeuk! Uwaak! Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Woo-eok! Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"
"Kya, kyaak?!"
"Wh-what's with this bastard!"
"Crazy bastard! He's a crazy bastard!"
"Hey, shit! Everyone's watching!"
"Let's get out!"
—Scramble!
The North Korean puppet party bastards, moved by my wailing, fled in an instant like the tide going out.
Repulsion successful, you bastards.
—Ding.
―――――――――――――――――
「Quest Complete」
「Repel the hostile cadets」
「Reward : 300 Coin」
―――――――――――――――――
"Sweet-ass reward."
Fuck, I can finally train.