Chapter 1. Candidate and Candidate (8)

I have convictions too.

The kind that probably wouldn't change until the moment I died. And Atheism was a pretty important part of those convictions.

But here's the thing—the price of those convictions isn't higher than the price of someone else's life.

No matter what words come out of my mouth, even if I say things affirming God and confessing faith, this thought doesn't change. Well, what if it did change? Even then, it still wouldn't be more important than the life of a person dying right in front of me.

Confessing faith doesn't drain money from my bank account, and it doesn't make my body hurt.

I could even use my power without ever having confessed any faith like that. If anything, it's just that people around me get weird misunderstandings every time they see that sort of thing.

Maybe it was because I didn't have a religion. Maybe it was because my convictions didn't come from following what was written in some important book like Scripture. Just as no idea in the world could simply be declared the one absolute truth, I thought my convictions were one of those uncertain things too.

In some documentary, an Atheist had been holding a sign that said, "My perspective changes according to scientific evidence." My convictions fell into that category too. I was certain of them right then, but that didn't make them a fixed, correct answer.

I don't think my convictions are the perfect answer, but ignoring the danger of a person right in front of me—especially when I have a way to remove that danger immediately and still ignoring it ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and walking past—no matter how I think about it, that's just wrong.

So then, I simply make the choice to avoid that wrong answer.

"Ah, jeez."

I waved my hand to shoo away the light that kept shining on my face, then walked toward my room again.

My legs felt a little weak after sprinting at full speed for the first time in a while. I'd also worked up a sweat on my back in this winter weather. Should I go wash up and just sleep?

Mother Superior usually took me off duty when something like that happened.

Though, since it was Sunday, the rest of the day's schedule was pretty light anyway.

"Ah."

While walking down the hallway, I spotted a veil lying on the floor. Only after touching my head did I realize there was no veil on it.

Did it fall off while I was running earlier?

I bent down to pick up the veil from the floor and wobbled a little.

Someone beside me caught my arm.

I turned my head. It was Ria—the one who'd followed me and grabbed my arm just a little while ago.

"......You okay?"

"Nothing's wrong with my body, really."

I'm a little tired, and a little dizzy. I did some headbanging earlier to shake off that light shining ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠at the back of my head, and it seems that's still lingering.

The tiredness is partly from running as hard as I could, and, well.

Yeah, I did often feel a bit tired after using that power. That was one of the reasons Mother Superior and the priest took me off duty.

Apparently, most nuns were exhausted after using Holy Power.

Compared to that, my body was actually doing pretty well.

If it were a power that could seriously endanger my body in the first place...... well, I would've thought about it a bit more seriously before using it, at least.

I tossed the picked-up veil roughly onto my head and looked at Ria, then was a little surprised.

Still holding my left arm, Ria was peering at my face with an extremely serious expression.

"What, are you finally thinking of admitting I'm kind of an impressive person?"

When I asked teasingly, a crease formed between Ria's brows.

Of course she can't admit it that far, right? The person called Lee Chae-eun came across as having quite a strong sense of pride even in the novel.

"Well, a little?"

But the reply that came back was a bit different from what I expected.

"A little?"

I repeated the words without realizing it.

It wasn't that I reacted to the word "little." The reason I repeated it was simply because that was the word I'd heard, and the reason I was surprised was because Ria had agreed with calling me an "impressive person."

Ah, now that I think about it, she was a Hero too, after all.

And her father was a fairly devout believer as well. She had quite a few connections to the Church in her own way.

Whatever else you could say, she was a devout believer, so it wasn't strange if her thoughts had changed a little after seeing the power I'd shown.

"......."

At my question, Ria fell silent for a bit longer, then yanked her hand off my left arm and said,

"Uh, yeah. A little. Just a tiny little bit."

Huh.

The supporting force suddenly vanished, making me stagger slightly. I frowned and straightened myself up again.

"My, how devout of you."

If she's going to compliment me, I'd rather she just do it properly.

The people I help like that keep praying only to God and never say thanks to me, you know.

Though, strictly speaking, it's not my power but God's power, so I guess that's only natural.

I made a "hmph" sound at Ria and turned my head away sharply.

Then I fiddled with the veil to fix its shape and walked toward my room again, my footsteps thumping.

I thought I heard laughter from behind me.

Seriously, I don't like her.

*

After washing up and falling asleep right away, I woke in the middle of the night. Since ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠no one had woken me, Mother Superior or the priest must have deliberately told everyone to leave me alone.

Maybe because I slept so deeply, the fatigue was completely gone—

Growl.

......I'm hungry.

Since I'd slept deeply without waking once, I obviously hadn't had dinner. Of course I'd be hungry.

I scratched my head and got up from my spot.

Looking toward Ria's bed, the blanket was puffed up. I confirmed Ria's distinctive red hair sticking out at the edge, then carefully took out my nun's habit and changed into it again.

The reason I put on the nun's habit was simple: I had no other option. Ria might have had casual clothes of her own, but I'd lived my entire life in this convent, so I owned nothing but the habits the convent provided.

Growl.

After hearing the sound from my stomach and scratching my head, I left the room.

The convent wasn't a military facility, so there was no such thing as a night watch. There could still be work that needed doing in the middle of the night, so someone was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠assigned overnight duty, but that wasn't a job given to young nuns like us.

The dormitory was completely quiet at night.

The toilet and shower room were attached to each room anyway, and there wasn't anything to do inside the convent in the middle of the night.

Wandering around in the middle of the night was a rule violation to begin with, and above all, nuns were basically supposed to fall asleep at a set time and wake up at a set time.

So sleep was precious. Normally, people didn't think about wasting it.

"Nice."

So right now was also a perfect time for someone like me who'd snuck out.

I tiptoed down the hallway. I could see outside through the windows, but there was no one there to look in. I wasn't wearing a veil, so Mother Superior might have given me an earful if she saw me, but fortunately I didn't run into anyone on the way to the meeting room.

I checked whether light was leaking from under the door, but I didn't see any sign of that at all.

I carefully opened the door and entered the meeting room.

I rummaged through my pocket and pulled out the small flashlight I'd brought with me. I'd bought it a few years earlier during volunteer work and had found it useful ever since. The fact that it wasn't too bright made it perfect for situations like this.

I turned on the flashlight, set it on the table, and filled the electric kettle with water.

Then I opened the door to the storage room attached right next to the visiting room.

It smelled musty, but it was a well-maintained place that got cleaned regularly.

In the corner of that small storage room was a big box containing items used only during commemorative ceremonies.

"There it is, there it is."

I opened the box and checked inside, murmuring in a sing-song voice.

I'd been the one to clean this storage room last time. There were a few small cups of instant noodles I'd bought in advance while out doing volunteer work.

There were instant noodles set aside for the duty shift, of course, but if I stole those, someone would eventually figure out I'd been sneaking food.

If I just eat and clean up neatly, no one will notice.

Growl.

I'm hungry, so should I take out two and eat them all by myself?

Humming quietly enough that nobody outside the meeting room would hear, I took out two cups of instant noodles and turned around—

"Eek!?"

And let out a scream that wasn't quite a scream.

Considering how badly I'd been startled, I thought I'd done a good job choking off the scream. Fortunately, I didn't hear anyone come running, so nobody else seemed to have noticed.

"Oh."

But it seemed Ria had caught me.

"......How long have you been standing there?"

"Probably since you went into the storage room?"

"......."

Ah, right, no wonder the storage room was bright.

Of course the flashlight I'd set on the table couldn't shine all the way in here.

"Anyway, is that a midnight snack?"

"......."

Ria asked, looking at me with smiling eyes.

The electric kettle bubbled vigorously, then clicked off at exactly the right moment.

Even after hearing the water finish boiling, I agonized for a long while before,

"D-do you want to eat together?"

I asked Ria.

"Sounds good."

Ria smiled brightly and stepped out of the way.

Seriously, I don't like her.

I grumbled internally.