Chapter 8. Saintess and Knight (2)
Chapter 8. Saintess and Knight (2)
"Now, let's think about this."
"......."
When I sat up and looked straight at Ria as I spoke, Ria made a slightly dumbfounded expression, but soon straightened her posture.
We ended up sitting cross-legged on my bed, facing each other. Without even turning on the light.
Well, that didn't matter. It wasn't a problem for facing Ria, anyway.
"Ria, I'm not just someone you're escorting."
"......Oh?"
"I know how to shoot a gun, you know?"
Huh.
At my words, Ria let out a breath like she couldn't believe me. Hearing that, I became dumbfounded too.
"What, Ria, didn't you say I wasn't without talent?"
"You're not without talent, but just because you can shoot a gun doesn't mean an escort target stops being an escort target."
Ria crossed her arms.
Good.
Still, her attitude went back to normal. Let's take that as a positive sign.
"While Ria was running with me in her arms— why?"
As she listened to me, Ria flinched her shoulders again. The corners of her mouth twitched, and her eyebrows quivered.
No matter how I looked at it, wasn't she about to burst out laughing? If not, she looked like she was about to die of embarrassment, but considering the situation, there was no reason for Ria to make that face.
"Ah, it's nothing, okay? K-keep talking."
Her voice is shaking?
"What is it. If you have something to say, say it. Was my shooting in that situation really no help at all? Is it funny?"
"No, it's not that."
......Why is she getting serious again?
Ria's expressions and emotional displays were usually pretty rich, but they didn't normally flip this fast, like a teenage girl's mood swings.
"Really? So you're saying it wasn't completely useless?"
"Uh, well...... there's some room for improvement? Something like that, yeah."
Ria spoke a little hesitantly for some reason.
"Then isn't that enough?"
"Huh?"
"Well, I'm absolutely not saying I'm a full combat asset, but I do have a way to reliably deal with one or two enemies coming at us. On top of that, as long as the opponent is a Magical Creature, the Holy Power I receive and use can be an effective means of attack."
"......."
"I have no intention of just being dead weight."
"......I don't think that."
"I'm saying that's how I feel."
I braced myself on the bed and leaned slightly toward Ria, staring straight at her face. Ria pulled her upper body back a little and rolled her eyes around, looking somewhat flustered.
"I don't want to just get dragged around without being able to do anything, and I don't want to put Ria in danger."
That's right.
Ria is my friend. Maybe the first one I've made since coming to this world.
She's the only one who doesn't run away when I say things that would make people sick of me, and instead talks back to me right beside me. She's also the only one who treats me as a complete equal without thinking about my status.
.......
And it wasn't just that. I didn't want Ria to die. I hate the idea of someone dying because of me. And I hate the idea of taking that death for granted, too.
"People who go out ahead to fight are always like that."
I hadn't seen it myself. The world I lived in—at least the country I lived in in my Past Life—wasn't a place where you were supposed to stake your life like that.
......That's not to say such people don't exist. It's not to say such sacrifices aren't noble. I can't stop all of it.
I want to believe I'm not enough of a bastard to take lightly the deaths of people who sacrifice themselves saving others at car accident scenes or fire scenes.
So I hope there's no one who says they'll die for me.
No matter how much this world has made it common sense for young people who just became adults to become Heroes, become Hunters, and fight with their lives on the line—no matter how many people in this world want to stop what lies beyond, earn money, and succeed more—
That reason must not be me. I didn't want that.
Much less, if it's my friend.
......If the person saying that is Ria, I hate it.
"Ria."
Looking straight at Ria's face, I deliberately put strength into my voice.
"If Ria is my knight, then what am I to Ria?"
"......."
"Am I just a burden to protect? Or something like a weapon you can use when needed?"
Ria shook her head. For the first time, Ria wore an expression like she was overwhelmed by me, but I wasn't exactly happy about it.
Because I didn't want to argue with her about this.
"If I'm neither, if that position hasn't been decided yet, then I want to be Ria's comrade. Not Ria one-sidedly offering her life to me, but standing on equal footing, helping each other as comrades. Friends."
"......."
Ria's eyes blinked.
"Do you dislike that kind of relationship?"
Ria stayed silent for a while, unable to say anything, then finally opened her mouth.
"......No. I don't dislike it."
I gave Ria a small smile.
"Then let's do that."
Ria barely managed to nod.
*
Deep night.
Perhaps the day's events had finally caught up with her as fatigue, because as soon as the conversation ended and she lay down, Anna fell asleep.
Anna usually collapsed into sleep after pouring out her Holy Power, so Chae-eun thought it was actually more impressive that she had held on this long.
Listening to that steady breathing, Chae-eun sank into thought for a moment.
She recalled what Anna had said.
Not a burden, not just someone to be protected, but comrades who could rely on each other.
"......."
Up until now, how had Chae-eun been thinking of Anna?
Even when she asked herself, the answer didn't come easily.
That feeling was difficult to put into a single word.
Friend.
That was true. Ria also thought of Anna as a friend. She treasured her, too. It wasn't that Chae-eun had never had friends before Anna. Among them, there had been people she could call equals in their own way.
Friends whose parents were Heroes like hers. Friends who were already preparing to become Hunters at that young age and standing out.
But among them, there had been no friend like Anna.
Why was that?
......Right. Probably because, in the first place, she had never met a "person" like Anna before. A person who wanted to save others without any conditions. It was the first time she had met someone whose goal wasn't to rise high with their abilities, but simply to live an ordinary life.
Even while possessing all those qualifications.
Now, she felt like she understood the reason a little.
And that reason was frightening.
She wanted to untangle those complicated feelings one by one. Why she felt strangely embarrassed whenever she looked at Anna, whether it was really because of religious feelings, or whether there was something else—she wanted to find out properly.
But, what if.
What if— Anna eventually fully accepted what she had to do.
And if that was a path where Anna ultimately sacrificed herself.
If, before she could figure out what that feeling was, Anna went somewhere far away first.
"......An equal, huh."
Was that really possible?
Wouldn't Anna leave Chae-eun behind and go on ahead? Riding that light that descended from the sky.
Just like her mother had—wouldn't she sacrifice herself for others and leave—
"......."
She saved me once,
Ria covered her face with both hands.
Anna didn't know. How Ria had saved her. She only thought Ria had crushed chocolate and put it in her mouth.
The moment she recalled that thought, all the other complicated memories she had been thinking about flew away.
In the end, Chae-eun couldn't fall asleep right away and thrashed on the bed for a long time before she finally managed to sleep.
The fact that Anna didn't wake up during all that must truly have been thanks to God's protection.
......Or she just got lucky.
Ria thought belatedly that her way of thinking seemed to be rubbing off from Anna.
*
One of the truly annoying things about being in this body is that whenever I try to worry about something, light comes down from the sky.
The problem is it's the same even when I'm inside a building.
I already had plenty to think about because of what happened yesterday, and people around me kept talking about it too. On top of that, maybe because I hadn't rejected it that one time, it became a trigger—the light now came down at all hours, which was really troublesome.
.......
Well, I guess it can't be helped.
I decided to accept my position, and I decided to use that power if necessary. There's no point in rejecting Holy Power now.
Of all times, I thought that during breakfast, and light fell on my head in a place full of Knight Orders, Hunters, officials, and Gnome representatives.
Just as I was thinking that even waving my hand was getting tiresome—
Swish, swish.
Ria waved her hand over my head.
The light falling on my head instantly turned to smoke and vanished.
"......."
Should I say thanks—
No, wait.
I looked at Ria.
Ria, with a completely unbothered expression, went back to eating— no, the important thing isn't her expression.
Just now, did she scatter that light with her hand?
Up until now, I was the only person who could do that......?