Chapter 3. Faith and Status (6)
Chapter 3. Faith and Status (6)
After that, the conversation continued for about ten more minutes.
And at the end of those ten minutes, I realized something had gone wrong, and immediately dragged Ria off to find the Cardinal.
Well, I'm someone who's been influenced by Confucianism, at least. I'm not the type to believe in ancestral spirits at all, but I do understand how useful propriety can be when the situation calls for it.
Fundamentally, the Cardinal was a busy man, and someone who had work to do even after meetings.
So I had to wait outside for about thirty minutes. Of course, even this was a courtesy extended to me because of my status as a Saintess Candidate—and a status where I was on the verge of becoming a Saintess at any moment, at that.
"Why? Isn't he exactly the ally you wanted? Why not talk a little longer?"
"No, even so......"
"Why? Does Atheism have its limits too?"
"Grrr."
And during those thirty minutes, Ria sat beside me and gently scratched away at my insides. Unable to come up with a proper response, I just ground my teeth.
After waiting about thirty minutes like that, people came out of the room.
Some were in suits, and some were clergy. Elderly nuns and priests.
They all recognized me and passed by with polite bows. Surprisingly, Lee Si-yoon was among them, dressed in a suit.
He'd been one of the people testifying so passionately earlier. Well, of course he would be. He'd been on the verge of death and survived after being healed by me.
But did he really have to be that passionate? He could've just said something like, "I got healed and my HP filled up."
Under my resentful gaze, Lee Si-yoon quickened his steps a little.
Ria, standing beside me, let out a strangely satisfied laugh, so I poked her in the ribs—but she didn't make the sound I'd hoped for, which only annoyed me more.
I waited for everyone to pass, then went inside. The Cardinal's office was less ornate than I'd expected.
Oh, the ceiling was a bit high, sure, but that was about it. There were no extravagant decorations; it just looked like a room in the church converted into an office.
"You requested a meeting, I believe."
The Cardinal gestured toward a table for receiving guests. While we sat and waited, the Cardinal personally brewed tea and brought out snacks.
At that unexpectedly unpretentious display, my mind went blank for just a moment.
With a clink, he set teacups before us, then sat down facing Ria and me.
Had he noticed something in my expression? His slightly curved eyes looked pleased, as if he'd found something amusing.
"Is there something you'd like to say?"
At that courteous voice, I hesitated for a moment, then carefully asked,
"......Um, the advocate—was he arranged by the Church?"
Honestly, I'd wanted to demand answers the moment I walked in, but my counterpart had been so polite that being one-sidedly rude felt too awkward.
"Of course. Is there a problem?"
Several thoughts came to mind.
For example: why had they chosen that person without asking my opinion, wasn't there someone who was more properly a scientist, why did it have to be someone who couldn't view things critically from a distance with a skeptical mindset—things like that.
But I couldn't bring myself to demand answers like that, so I opened my mouth a little cautiously.
"May I ask why you chose that person?"
Seeing me ask with such uncharacteristically polite manners, Ria's shoulders shook as if she was about to burst out laughing again. I wanted to jab her in the ribs with my elbow, but this was a very important conversation, so I couldn't bring myself to.
"There are several reasons."
The Cardinal slowly began to speak.
"First, among this country’s best-known Atheists, he is the most famous."
"......."
I could see that. He appeared on TV, and he was the head of a research institute, after all.
Though, the frauds who appear on TV usually run research institutes too. Generally, those institutes weren't big buildings—just houses roughly converted for the purpose.
A building's size doesn't symbolize authority or credibility, but conversely, it also means anyone can set up such an institute and claim to be its director.
"And he's not merely famous—his group is also the most respectable among them, and above all, among those who advocate Atheism, he doesn't push any conspiracy theories other than 'Atheism' itself."
"......Other conspiracy theories?"
"Things like the Earth being flat, or the Apollo spacecraft actually being an American conspiracy, or that we are in fact reptilian humanoids disguised as people."
"......."
Ah, right. Of course.
In this world, Atheism was a category of conspiracy theory.
Naturally enough, it was probably often linked with other conspiracy theories.
"At the very least, those people argue only from scientific evidence. Of course, their persuasiveness is somewhat diminished by the fact that they attempt scientific arguments about Holy Power, and by their claim that Holy Power, Mana, and physics already fall under the same theory. But at the very least, they are not the sort of people who would try to make money off Sister Anna."
"......."
Ah, right. Of course.
I could think like an adult thanks to my memories of my Past Life, but in the eyes of the people here, I was someone who had just become an adult.
And someone who has just become an adult isn't really that different from an adolescent. They've merely gained the right to go out into society; they still occupy a position where society protects them to some degree.
On top of that, since I was supposed to have lived my whole life in the Church, they would have considered me even more at risk.
......Come to think of it, what real-world Atheists said was also that kind of thing.
'If miracles exist and God exists, then present a scientific argument for why such a thing can exist, and provide the evidence.'
Naturally, all religious people can do is either point to the "parts not yet scientifically proven" as evidence, thereby turning God into a being squeezed into the ever-narrowing gaps of science, or simply accept the scientific parts and say, "That too must be God's will."
The problem is, in this world, it's the opposite.
The principle is still unknown, but the phenomenon clearly exists, and that phenomenon grows more certain the more one follows God. The fact that I can wield such immense power is probably, in any case, because I can be certain of that power's source.
"So, what did you discuss just now that made you come straight to me and say such things? Did you not like the content of the conversation?"
"Well......"
I rolled my eyes this way and that.
The Cardinal quietly waited for me to speak.
My first impression of him had certainly been bad, and even now my attire was absolutely not something a nun should be seen in, yet he didn't seem to be viewing me particularly negatively.
At the very least, this man did not think my power was fake.
......Wait, could it be that stripping my rights while leaving my position intact was like a grandparent cutting a rebellious grandchild's allowance? No matter how much he couldn't just remove a Candidate from her position at will, he had accepted the Priest's and the Mother Superior's words that I wasn't a heretic.
I drifted off into other thoughts, then confirmed that the Cardinal was still staring at me, waiting for my next words. I hesitated a little, then opened my mouth.
"Well, he said that the power I used might actually have been just a coincidence......"
"Oh?"
The Cardinal took a sip of tea.
"Did he also provide grounds for that?"
"He said that since it was near a Gate, maybe it was influenced by what lies beyond the Gate......"
"Then what about the power you ordinarily display, Sister?"
"We didn't really get to that part."
I continued slowly, watching his reaction.
"Well, he also denied everything about the Being Above......"
"You mean God."
"I don't think of it as God, but yes—denying that being's existence itself is a bit......"
"Setting aside the denial of the fact that this being is God—are you saying that you, Sister, do not deny 'that being' itself?"
"Every time I use Holy Power, I feel that being. How could I deny it?"
"Is that so. Then why do you use that power? If you do not believe it is God, and have not studied scripture, might that power not rather be something dangerous or profane?"
"That's......"
I paused for a moment.
How should I explain this?
I've never directly conversed with the Being Above. I've never prayed sincerely like other people, and I've never tried to ask it anything.
However, there is one thing I can know with certainty whenever I draw close to that power.
That being dislikes seeing people get hurt.
That being—neither omniscient nor omnipotent—truly rejoices in saving people through me.
So I can borrow that power without much hesitation. On top of that, I was even someone who had read novels.
If all of that is just to deceive me, well, nothing I can do about it. What can I do about my own nature? At the very least, I'm not the kind of person who could hold the power to save the person in front of me and not use it. I'm a meddlesome sort, honestly—sometimes even I find myself a bit tiresome.
"In that case, there's one more thing I'd like to ask."
As I sat there fidgeting without saying anything, the Cardinal asked calmly,
"The position of Saintess is an extremely high one. Higher even than my own office. You have the power to rise to that position, yet you wish to refuse it—for what reason? There would be much you could do once you rose that high."
Because I couldn't have sex.
Uh, no, no, that's not it.
Well, no, that is part of it, but even so, I can't say that in front of this old man.
Ria's right beside me, too.
So I gave the other reason I always thought about.
"If I rose there by my own power, by my own effort, I would gladly accept it. But that's not the case. If I rise not by my own strength, but by the power of a being I cannot fully believe in, what could I possibly do properly up there?"
Well, "I don't want to" was also the biggest reason.
Would someone who doesn't even want the job go up to that high place and do it properly?
If it were just something I forced myself to do to make a living, that'd be different. In that kind of work, the authority is low, so there's little responsibility to bear.
But the representative of humanity, God's agent?
With my personality, who knows what I'd do if I rose to a position with that much authority. Better not to rise at all in the first place.
I don't want to go down in history as the worst Saintess of all time.
"Is that so."
The Cardinal answered only that, and took another sip of tea.
"However, the verification cannot be stopped."
"Ack."
"If problems arise at a higher stage, there's nothing to be done, but you have received the recommendations of the Saintess Candidates, after all. The verification process is lengthy regardless, and the advocate's role is merely to present reasons why you, Sister, are not a Saintess during that process. And, strictly speaking, a Saintess Candidate cannot recommend her own Devil’s Advocate."
Ah, right.
Whatever the reason, he's someone who denies "my position."
In other words, the more I dislike him, the more suited he is for the role.
Hearing the Cardinal's words, I sat there with a blank expression for a while.
No—I'd thought the Cardinal would simply dislike me.
Why?
Again, I saw light shining on my face and almost reflexively waved it away with my hand, then noticed the Cardinal quietly watching me and sheepishly lowered my hand.
In the end, until I left that room, I couldn't utter a single word of rebuttal.