Chapter 1. Candidate and Candidate (1)
Chapter 1. Candidate and Candidate (1)
Chapter 1. Candidate and Candidate
For the past fifteen years—that is, until I reached the age of twenty, the age customarily used in this country—I had tried persistently, but getting kicked out of the convent turned out to be far more difficult than I had imagined.
Since I was a rational and reasonable person, I considered every way to leave the convent early that fell short of committing a crime, but this world's theocratic legal system was far more rational than I had expected.
In this country, the Church's convents and monasteries took the place of orphanages. That function was part of the country's welfare system.
Naturally, children taken in by an orphanage couldn't leave unless they caused truly serious trouble. No welfare system anywhere in the world would take a child's declaration that they wanted to abandon their parents and become independent at face value.
Especially when there was no abuse involved, the fault was naturally judged to lie with the child rather than the parents.
By this world's standards, this convent was not a particularly problematic place, and so from a young age I could only leave the impression of being a rebellious child who said such things.
Far from being kicked out, I ended up graduating from high school at the convent, all the way until the moment I became an adult.
For reference, the graduation ceremony was the day after tomorrow—
.......
Because of a personal problem I had only recently become aware of, I requested a meeting with the Mother Superior.
"I see, so that's what happened. You must have had a hard time, Sister."
Having heard my request, the Mother Superior set a teacup down in front of me as she said that, then went to her seat, sat down, and looked at me quietly as she spoke.
"No, don't just brush it off as 'that sort of thing.' Okay? I'm telling you there's a weird person just waiting for my Laicization. Ever since I started high school! The whole time! At this rate, I'm going to have someone confess to me the moment I undergo Laicization!"
"Sister, even if you receive a confession, you can simply refuse—"
"I don't want to! I said no!"
Me, receiving a confession? From a man, no less? No. Absolutely not.
"Um, Sister. So are you saying you're giving up on Laicization...?"
"No, of course I'm going to do it. I just want to delay it by a few years."
"Sister, I'm truly sorry to say this, but institutionally it is impossible to 'temporarily' delay Laicization without a legitimate reason."
The tone of the voice coming from beyond the partition had become very bureaucratic.
She wasn't wrong, either. In this world, this Church's religion was the "State Religion," and while attending church wasn't mandatory, it was encouraged in many ways.
On top of that, on certain holidays it practically became an obligation.
"But..."
"And as long as you remain in the Church, Sister, you must fulfill your duties as a nun while maintaining chastity for a set period. And those duties include the Scripture study that you have so stubbornly refused up until now. I apologize, but the Church cannot conveniently shelter someone lacking in faith."
"No, I mean..."
"Since you said 'temporarily,' I should add that one way to 'temporarily' remain in the Church is to enter the Theology Department."
"......."
"A theologian is someone you can become without necessarily being a nun or monastic, but unfortunately, Sister, your knowledge of Scripture is below the average of the other sisters."
I had no rebuttal to that.
It was true, after all. Someone trying to deny God should spend more time studying science books than Scripture. And thanks to that, my Theology scores were hovering near rock bottom.
"If you believe you have a stalker, please contact the police after your Laicization."
Secular matters to secular institutions.
That was also correct. Which was exactly why I wanted to stay here a little longer!
Unfortunately, in this world, attending 'church' was considered an excellent habit. South Korea in this world was, incredibly, a Theocracy, but that didn't mean it completely rejected the secular world.
The Church, as the Church, handles matters related to religion and a portion of social welfare, and cooperates in security only for incidents related to beings beyond Gates.
Even so, completely taking away everything people had enjoyed when the country was a Secular State would cost it too much.
Therefore, even if someone stalking a nun frequently came to church, there was no problem. There seemed to be at least seven unpleasant individuals who kept looking at me every time they came to church, but anyway, weren't they just devout believers coming to pray?
Moreover, because of the rule that members of the opposite sex must not casually speak to nuns inside the church, those stalkers... or rather, the people presumed to be stalkers, "for now" did not particularly speak to me. If they did, they'd be in serious trouble.
Nuns were allowed to go outside, but underage nuns never went around alone. The nuns in the world of my Past Life would ride buses and subways alone, but in this world, most clergy could use Holy Power, and those who could were valuable.
Basically, they moved in groups, and if there was someone the Church 'specially' looked after, they even assigned escorts. Yes, that could be called rational.
The problem was that with such thorough protection, there was no way to prove someone was actually a stalker.
No, fine. Thinking about it "rationally and reasonably," they might not be stalkers.
They might simply have been ordinary men who had fallen for me and were waiting for the right moment to confess.
.......
No, even thinking about it that way, it's fucking awful.
"Sister, it's a bit awkward for me to say this now."
I knew the words that were coming were ones she had said far too often to call it "now," but at least at this moment, I couldn't just run away.
Anyway, I was planning to hold out here for another year or two.
"As I have told you before, if you would observe the nun's rule and properly hide your hair beneath your veil, stop dyeing parts of your hair, and undo that strange belt below your chest, wouldn't you be somewhat less noticeable to such people?"
...I was planning to hold out, but.
"Mother Superior, I apologize, but sexual crimes in this world do not occur simply because a woman showed a little of her own color."
"......."
Yikes.
"...So what you're saying is that the reason you dressed up like that was not because you wanted to look good to the male believers."
Uh...
"This is something I have already mentioned several times, but since the situation is what it is, let me summarize once more."
Ahem. The Mother Superior cleared her throat and spoke calmly.
"As far as I understand, Sister, you have not faithfully participated in Scripture study until now. Well, that's fine. Most of this country's Canon Law takes the form of customary law, and one cannot be forcibly punished simply for being a little less devout. Prayer only has meaning when a believer does it willingly with a faithful heart; what meaning is there in merely observing the form? Besides, Sister, you did not become a nun by choice."
To say it again, most orphans in this country were taken in by the Church. It was one of the welfare functions the Church had partially inherited.
In this world, I had no parents, so from an early age I had lived continuously in this Church's convent.
"Setting that aside."
The Mother Superior continued.
"Sister, immediately after becoming a Saintess Candidate, you wrote a letter to the Cardinal. You wrote very bluntly that you believed the being called God in this world was not God, and therefore you were unqualified to become a Saintess."
"That's true, but..."
"And the Cardinal, furious beyond measure, stripped you of the various rights you could have held as a Saintess Candidate. You seem to have forgotten how hard the priest and I worked to keep you from being summoned for a heresy interrogation."
"...I still feel sorry about that..."
"In the first place, I cannot understand why someone with such powerful Holy Power lives a life so far removed from 'faith.'"
I had nothing particular to say to that. Naturally, because I didn't really know either.
To be honest, I suspected that the bastard who thought they were God had just slapped this setup onto me to screw me over.
"Haah."
The Mother Superior let out a long breath, picked up her teacup, and took a sip of green tea.
Then she looked at me with my head deeply bowed and quietly opened her mouth.
"As for methods, it's not as if there are none."
"Really?"
When I snapped my head up, the Mother Superior smiled bitterly.
"You could confess your faith even now and say you will enter as a Saintess Candidate. Your qualifications as a candidate were stripped, but your position as a candidate is still valid."
"What?"
"The title Saintess Candidate literally means you are only a candidate. Fundamentally, you are still a nun. Of course, because you possess such remarkable ability, we grant you various conveniences, but how could we arbitrarily demote a position granted by the Lord?"
Wait, wasn't that position of Saintess or Saintess Candidate something people had made up in the first place? The guy up there hadn't told anyone, 'She's the Saintess,' either. At least, there had been nothing like that in the story up through the latest chapter I'd read.
"Well, think it over slowly and let me know. There's still a little time left, isn't there?"
"Ah, um, Mother Superior!"
"I know."
The Mother Superior reached out, placed her hand lightly over mine, and smiled benevolently as she spoke.
"Sister, surely, deep in your heart, you serve God. It's just that your childhood wounds are so deep that you want to deny God's existence."
No, that's not it.
But if I said that now, I felt like I would lose even the thread-thin hope I had, so I clamped my mouth shut.
People whose way of thinking is already religious cannot be persuaded no matter what I say.
Besides, while I absolutely believed it was not God, from those people's perspective, a being that was already God did actually exist in this world, after all.
"Oh my."
The moment I thought about that "being that is not God but is treated as God anyway," a faint white thread of light connected above my head.
Only after seeing the Mother Superior speak with a hint of admiration did I belatedly realize what had happened, and I waved my hand as if shooing a fly to scatter the light. Strangely enough, that thing which had been "light" dispersed like smoke when I waved my hand.
"Sister, that is—"
"......."
When I clamped my mouth shut and said nothing, the Mother Superior let out a long breath.
"No matter what anyone says, I believe that light proves you have faith, Sister."
That's just that bastard trying to mess with me.
Of course, I had enough emotional control not to say that to a religious person's face.
"Well, very well. The path one wishes to follow differs from person to person. If the path you wish to walk is not that one, I have no intention of forcing you."
The Mother Superior said, looking at me quietly.
"Even if you do not become a Saintess and do not enter the Theology Department, there are a few more ways to stay here a little longer."
"Really!?"
When I immediately leaned my upper body forward and shouted, the Mother Superior nodded lightly and spoke.
"First, you could join a church-affiliated Knight Order. No matter how many classes you skipped, Sister, you must know that there are Knight Orders within the Church, right?"
Of course I knew.
As often happened in settings like this, the secular world had Hunter Associations. There wasn't just one. Just as similar organization names could differ depending on whether they began with 'Daehan,' 'Hanguk,' or 'Jeonguk,' things worked similarly in this world.
On top of that, there also seem to be separate private-enterprise-like entities operated entirely by the civilian sector.
Likewise, the Church separately operated institutions for cases requiring Church support. They were called Knight Orders.
...Since the religion has only existed for a little over ten years, honestly, using the name "Knight Order" as-is feels a bit cringeworthy.
But since it inherited the position of existing religions to some extent, well, let's just not say anything. If I start nitpicking every little thing, it gets too exhausting.
"However, Sister, there is a high probability that you would not pass the Knight Order entrance exam. You cannot recite anything from memory, after all."
But the Mother Superior's expression as she said that was not particularly mocking.
Which meant there really was some kind of "method."
"However, there is a way to enter through recommendation."
"That means...!"
"I am not saying that I will recommend you."
At the answer that came before I could even finish speaking, my arms went limp.
"But I could recommend someone who might gain the right to recommend you in the future."
"...That's an incredibly ambiguous position for a person to be in."
"Right now she is in an ambiguous position, but if she can just escape the 'candidate' position, and if she is in a close position with you at that time, she is someone who could raise you to a position where no one could touch you carelessly."
Oh.
I leaned my upper body toward the table again.
"Who is it?"
"Starting tomorrow, she will walk the path of ascetic practice just like you, Sister. Her name is Sister 'Lee Chae-eun.' You may have heard of her at least once."
"...Ah."
I had heard of her.
In this life, and in my last life too.
"Even if you graduate, Sister, you do not have to vacate your room immediately. Normally, even after graduation, you are given leeway until the end of May. It is a time when you must decide how to live in the secular world, and consider whether to pursue further education or find employment."
In other words, I was to persuade that girl called "Lee Chae-eun" by that time.
"As for other methods..."
"To propose it once more, it would be to secure the Saintess Candidate position again."
"......."
Watching the Mother Superior leisurely take a sip of tea, I was at a loss for words.