My Ideal Desk Partner
Rub rub...
When I arrived at the classroom, a sheet of paper listing every student’s assigned seat was taped to the blackboard.
Why the hell are the seats completely opposite…
Mine was right next to the window in the back. Jia’s, on the other hand, was right beside the front door.
I wasn’t particularly sad about being separated from Jia. She was better than the rest of the kids, sure, but even she still looked like a man in drag to my eyes. The real problem was that if Jia wasn’t my partner, some random guy with absolutely nothing going for him could end up sitting next to me.
Ugh, seriously…
My eyes were half-lidded, vision blurry, and weird things kept catching in it. Thankfully those weirdos were already seated, so none of them would be my desk partner. If any of them had been, I might have actually dropped out on the spot.
Please be a decent guy. Please be some girly-looking type. Please be someone who never talks to me.
I walked toward my seat with half-closed eyes. Midway there, whispers drifted in from the side.
“Crazy… so fucking hot.”
“Where… damn! Insane?”
“Got a boyfriend? Maybe I should take a shot?”
It was guys muttering among themselves. I didn’t want to hear it, but my trained body had enhanced hearing, so the words forced their way in.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I never thought I’d actually miss being called pretty. Back in the other world, whenever those male bastards tried flirting, “pretty” was the word that never failed to show up. Something about being more beautiful than the stars in the sky—always the same tired repertoire. Suddenly I wanted to hear that kind of line again.
Both versions were shit, but at least those guys had the vibe of “come into my arms and I’ll protect you.” These ones radiated “I want to bury myself in your chest and be protected,” which made it so much worse.
“Looking at the hair, maybe a transfer from overseas? If I help her adjust, she’ll fall for me, right? Like that.”
“What are you on about? You can’t even speak English. And didn’t you see her walk in with that fox-faced guy? That’s probably the boyfriend~”
“What’s so great about that pretty-boy face? I’m better looking.”
“True, everything except the face is better on me, so maybe it’s possible? Hoho!”
“Ah, come on~ Okay, that part’s fair.”
Ha… for real…
Should I just burst their eardrums? Or slap tape over their mouths? The dirty talk—no, the men’s talk—was rotting my ears. Even as the Combat Saint, my recovery magic had been the best in the church. I was seriously considering blowing out my eardrums and healing them on the way home just so I wouldn’t have to listen anymore.
Arrived.
Finally at my seat, I dropped straight into the chair and turned my gaze to the window.
Beautiful…
All I could see were the apartment towers rising like cages around me and the empty playground. Yet those lifeless, inorganic things looked so beautiful I couldn’t tear my eyes away.
I’m exhausted… and the day has barely started…
My mental energy, my brain—everything had hit its limit way too fast. Tired. Once the teacher arrived and class began, I’d just sleep. Corner seat, after all.
By the way, nobody’s next to me. The seating chart had a name, though.
Kids these days. This is why they’re no good. Ugh… tsk tsk tsk tsk. Being late to school. End times, truly.
Back in my day, if you were late they’d line you up at the gate and go straight for the paddle…
Ah, they do that here too. The moment a teacher steps out to the gate with a pool cue, it means late equals ass on fire. So corporal punishment still exists at this school.
Good. Kids need a few hits to learn manners. I, of course, overflow with manners even without getting hit, so I’m fine…
“Hehehe!”
“Hohoho!”
Look at those male bastards with makeup caked all over their faces! Wearing makeup in a sacred place of learning! They should be dragged to the bathroom and have their faces dunked in the sink right now.
Please, I’m begging—let the partner who sits next to me be a student-like guy whose eyes don’t hurt to look at. Seriously, please.
Creak…
A presence right to my right. Finally here. My desk partner.
Gulp…
I swallowed and turned my gaze sideways. I didn’t really want to look. But if we were partners, I’d see them every time I turned my head anyway, so if it was a landmine it was better to get a proper look now and stay careful.
Creak creak creak…
My neck didn’t want to turn. It moved stiffly, jerking like a rusted machine. I swallowed again. At the edge of my finally-turned vision…
Thank you, Goddess…!
There was a person.
“…”
My partner looked a little small for our age. The hair was longer than my personal standard for guys, but still decent. The face was small and round like a kid’s—completely different from Jia, actually human-looking. Unlike those makeup-caked male bastards over there, this one seemed to be wearing zero makeup at all. Looked genuinely okay.
Blunt expression from the start. Means this one will never speak first. I like it.
Perfect ideal desk partner. I smiled happily and turned my head back toward the window.
Tap tap!
“Quiet, everyone. Morning assembly is starting.”
Someone rapped the front door with a stick. The classroom fell silent. I quietly cheered inside.
Teacher’s nice too.
The teacher who entered was a woman. Not a man in a skirt—thank god. Classmates I could ignore, but a teacher I couldn’t, so the fact that this one was female made me incredibly happy.
Huu… one year… just endure one year.
I’d survived years on blood-soaked battlefields. This much I could handle.
“Teacher! Tell us about your first love!”
“Quiet. Taking attendance.”
…Or maybe not?
Looking at a guy who’d just met her and was already demanding first-love stories made the urge to give up surge for a second. But I had to endure here if I ever wanted the harem I’d dreamed of for so long. For that alone, I had to hold on somehow.
“Kang Gisu.”
“Yes!”
“Gu Ira.”
“Yeees~”
The teacher began calling roll.
“Kang Seonghyeon.”
“Yes.”
When my turn finally came I answered, then laid my head on the desk and closed my eyes.
Three in the afternoon. School was already over.
I used Jia as a human shield to escape the school and headed home. I grumbled the whole way.
“If it was gonna be like this, why even call us in?”
“It’s the first day. And you kept sleeping the whole time so you don’t know, but we actually did a lot today.”
“Oh, really?”
So we did something, huh? Didn’t notice. Not curious, though. This is a world I’ll live in for a year or two at most—whatever we did doesn’t matter. I just need to handle my own business.
“‘Oh, really?’ is not the right response. Study. How do you plan on getting into university like that!”
Jia screeched. Acting like a mom again.
“Not going to university. Hate studying. I’ll just do manual labor or something.”
“Haa… what do I even like about this ki—”
“Ahem!”
Jia was about to slip up, so I gave a light cough.
“Eup!”
Startled, she immediately clamped a hand over her mouth. Good. That’s right. Can’t break character. You’re a tsundere with strong dere who can’t confess properly, so you absolutely cannot say you like someone out loud.
Just one year like this. One year. By then I’ll be gone, so only until then.
“We’re heeere!! My sweeet hooome!”
Finally home. I threw my arms wide in front of the door, expressing pure joy.
“Embarrassing… please stop doing that…”
“Ahem! This is the friend you chose. Accept her as she is.”
“…”
“Those who feel embarrassed of me cannot be my friend. Jia. If you wish to remain friends with me, you must accept this meeee?!”
Pinch!
Jia suddenly pinched my side hard. It didn’t hurt, but the reflex made the end of my sentence stretch out like a scream. I rubbed the pinched spot and said,
“Ugh… you go home already.”
This was my house. Jia was a childhood friend, so she had her own place. Even if it was right next door.
“Bye.”
I waved vigorously. After seeing her all day, Jia in a skirt had become a little familiar, so I looked at her while saying goodbye. She glared at me like I was some kind of weirdo.
“What are you talking about?”
“What?”
“Why are you acting so weird today?”
“…?”
Really, what? What’s the problem?
Ah. I get it. Dinner. She’s trying to make dinner for me. Come on, I’m not a little kid. She already made breakfast—I wasn’t about to ask for dinner too.
“I’ll take care of dinner myself. I’ll eat properly, so don’t worry and go home.”
“No, that’s not it, we…!”
“I said don’t worry. I can live just fine even if you drop me on a deserted island.”
Click.
I soothed the worried-looking Jia and grabbed the door handle. At that exact moment—
Whoosh!
“Huh?”
The handle started turning on its own.
Click!
At the same time, the sound of the lock disengaging came from the door.
Someone’s inside the house?
I hastily yanked my hand off the handle and stepped back. Pushing Jia behind me, I prepared to deal with whatever unknown person was about to come out. Whoever it was, the second they appeared I’d turn them into paste—
“Nunaaaaaa♡♡”
“…?”
A boy came running out of my house shouting “nuna.”
Hallucination…?
The moment the boy appeared, the surroundings turned pink and hearts started floating around.
Pook!
What the fuck…!
The boy plunged straight into my chest. Distracted by the weird hallucination-like effect, I couldn’t react in time.
Rub rub.
“Nunaaa…”
The boy rubbed his face freely against my chest. Then he lifted his eyes like a puppy and smiled.