Today, I'm the Idiot
Whirrr!
Clack-clack!
Hearing the dull sound, Dojin set the electric screwdriver aside. It meant the screw couldn't turn any further.
Whew!
With a single breath, Dojin blew away the accumulated sawdust and inspected the finished product from various angles.
A wooden board measuring forty centimeters wide and sixty centimeters long, finished with steel brackets—the ice sled boasted a magnificent appearance.
"I wonder if it'll work well. It's my first time making one myself."
He had ridden ice sleds often back when he was at the orphanage. However, this was the first time he had ever built one with his own hands.
During his orphanage days, the teachers had always made them, so he'd never had the chance.
"Well, I'll just test it out first and fix whatever's lacking."
Grabbing the sled sticks he had prepared beforehand, Dojin stepped out of the workshop. Since it was his first time building one, it was better to test it as soon as possible.
But someone stopped him in his tracks.
"Honey, what's that?"
Do-hee, who happened to be passing by the workshop, asked as she looked at him. Holding an object she had never seen before, it had naturally caught her eye.
"Ah, this? An ice sled."
"An ice... sled?"
At Dojin's reply, Do-hee approached and began to examine the sled closely. Looking over the brand-new, freshly made item from top to bottom, her eyes sparkled as she spoke.
"Can I try riding it too?"
"I don't mind, but I haven't done a test run yet..."
Dojin trailed off, but Do-hee shook her head as if it didn't matter at all.
"Then I'll just test it myself. Let's go!"
With that, she naturally took the sled and the sticks from him and began walking ahead.
"Go where?"
"Weren't you going to Mabong-ri? You made this after hearing what Mrs. Heo said earlier."
"..."
Faced with Do-hee's tone, which seemed to ask why he was even questioning it, Dojin couldn't offer any rebuttal. In truth, he really had been planning to test the ice sled in Mabong-ri.
"How did you know?"
"Oh, please. As if I don't know you. Your expressions are actually pretty easy to read, you know?"
Dojin stroked his own face at Do-hee's words. He had never heard such a thing in his life. However, her words solved a mystery he had harbored since before his regression.
No wonder. Even when she didn't say anything, she always knew exactly what I was thinking. So that was why.
Back then, no matter how much he asked, his wife would never tell him the reason. She would only give him a mysterious smile, to the point where he had briefly suspected she might have superpowers...
But even knowing the reason, there's not much I can do about it.
Dojin prided himself on keeping a straight face no matter where he went. Even the colleagues he had worked with for years couldn't read his expressions, so it was safe to say Do-hee's intuition was simply extraordinary.
"Yep, that's right. It's easier if you just give up, so don't waste your energy trying."
"...Let's go."
Dojin deliberately ignored Do-hee's teasing and walked ahead, rubbing his face once more.
Should I sign up for acting classes?
He loved his wife and knew she was quick-witted, but he still wanted to avoid having his mind read constantly.
Just as Mrs. Heo had said, the eel farm was a total mess. A water pipe had burst somehow, completely surrounding the farm with thick ice. It looked as if a massive ice rink had been created with the farm at its center.
Yet, a certain woman had been eagerly circling this makeshift ice rink for a while now.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
"Hahaha!"
For ten minutes already, joyful laughter had been bursting from Do-hee as she rode the ice sled.
Watching her, Dojin nodded to himself.
It runs well, even though it's my first attempt.
He had heard that making a smooth-gliding ice sled was difficult, but seeing her now, it seemed to be a massive success.
Just then, Do-hee brushed past Dojin, a sharp gust of wind whipping against him.
She got the hang of it so quickly. She's moving pretty fast.
Anyone watching would have thought she was an experienced sledder. Surprisingly, however, she was a complete novice who had ridden an ice sled for the first time just fifteen minutes ago. She had never once experienced it in her life.
I knew about the bicycle, but I had no idea she'd never ridden an ice sled either.
Do-hee had told him something back when they were newlyweds.
"I don't know how to ride a bicycle. We didn't have one at home, and there was no one in my family to teach me anyway."
Hearing those words, dozens of thoughts had flashed through Dojin's mind. From a wave of pity that made him want to hug her right then and there, to the practical thought that she could have rented a public bike to practice—amidst the chaotic clash of emotion and reason, Dojin had chosen a single response.
"Really? Let's go outside. I'll teach you."
"...Really?"
"Yeah. I'm really good at it. If you learn from me, you'll master it in ten minutes."
Dojin's words had come true exactly as promised. After arriving at the Han River, Do-hee had started riding a bicycle on her own within ten minutes of Dojin's instruction. Though she looked precarious and clumsy at times, she had successfully managed to ride by herself.
And today, the exact same thing was repeating itself. The only difference was that the bicycle had been replaced by an ice sled.
What kind of family is that? Not even letting their only daughter ride an ice sled once.
Thinking about his wife's side of the family always filled him with frustration. It was a constant source of wonder how an angel like Do-hee could have come from such a household.
Just then, Do-hee's voice rang out, having already completed another lap around the farm.
"Honey! Look here! I can ride with my arms wide open now!"
"Oh, my."
Turning his head at her call, Dojin let out an involuntary gasp.
Do-hee was indeed riding the sled with both arms outstretched. Striking a pose reminiscent of a scene from Titanic, she controlled the sled using only her lower body—a feat that shocked even Dojin.
"...Her athletic reflexes are seriously out of this world."
How could that possibly be the skill level of someone riding an ice sled for the first time today?
Maybe Do-hee should have been an athlete.
He had felt it when teaching her to ride a bike, but seeing her today only reaffirmed his conviction.
"Whoa, what is that?"
"It looks so fun!"
Turning toward the familiar voices, Dojin saw more people than he had expected. Of course, the most prominent among them were Chang-su and Hui-su, who had just spoken.
"...Did you make that, Uncle?"
When Dojin nodded at Sun-jam's question as she approached a step late, the eyes of all three children began to sparkle in unison.
"Uncle! Me too! I want to try riding it too!"
"Uncle, me too! I'm next!"
It wasn't Dojin who answered the siblings' eager requests. Do-hee, who had completed yet another lap, spotted the children and answered for him.
"Oh? The kids are here! You guys want to ride too?"
"Oh? Yes! I want to!"
"Me too!"
"Hehe!"
Seeing the children's sparkling eyes, Do-hee gave up the sled without hesitation. Not only that, she even began personally coaching them on their posture.
Watching the scene warmly, Dojin looked at Sun-jam beside him and asked, "Sun-jam, don't you want to ride?"
Just a moment ago, Sun-jam's eyes had definitely been shining as she stared at the sled, just like the siblings. Yet, it was strange that she remained still even though the sled was right in front of her.
"...Want to ride," Sun-jam said, confirming that Dojin hadn't misread her.
"Then why are you standing here? Are you waiting for your brother and sister to finish?"
For an ordinary five-year-old, waiting for their turn could be difficult. But somehow, it felt possible for Sun-jam.
She's so mature for her age.
Sometimes, he even wondered if she was fifteen instead of five.
However, Sun-jam's next response was completely unexpected.
"...Can't ride. Too big, too hard."
"...Huh?"
Dojin stared blankly for a moment before turning his gaze back to the ice sled, the sticks, and the children riding it. Only after observing the whole process of sledding did he understand what Sun-jam meant.
"Ah... I see. It would be too difficult for you, Sun-jam."
Unlike snow sleds or regular ice skating, an ice sled required the rider to plant the sticks into the ice to propel themselves forward. This meant that for a five-year-old like Sun-jam, riding it properly was nearly impossible.
Now that I look at it, the sled is quite large too.
Since Dojin had originally built it for adult use, it was on the larger side for an ice sled. Consequently, for Sun-jam to ride it, she would have to sit too far forward.
She might fall over if she rides like that.
Just like snow sledding, one had to keep their center of gravity toward the back on an ice sled. Otherwise, they risked tipping forward. In that sense, this sled was not suitable for Sun-jam.
Should I make separate ones for the kids?
Looking closely, even Chang-su and Hui-su weren't riding very well. Chang-su managed to keep his balance decently, but the sticks were the problem. Because the sticks were too long for the children's arm span, they couldn't plant them properly to move forward.
"This won't do. Let the adults ride that one, and I'll make separate ones for the kids."
Fortunately, since he had already made one, he figured he could whip up child-sized sleds in no time.
However, two pairs of eyes sparkled at Dojin's words.
"Boss, I want to make Sun-jam's."
"Could I try making Hui-su's?"
Hearing the requests from Chanarshanhu and Go Jung-wang, who had been watching the children warmly from behind, Dojin nodded without much thought. Since they were the children's guardians, it seemed like a good idea for them to build the sleds themselves.
Dojin realized this decision was a mistake exactly one hour later, upon seeing the completed sleds.
"...What is this?" Dojin asked, utterly dumbfounded.
The objects sitting before him were that ridiculous.
"It's a sled. I made the kind you see on TV," Chanarshanhu said, shrugging proudly.
"...This is?"
Dojin inspected the sled Chanarshanhu had built. With a seat and footrests welded onto long iron bars, it looked nothing like an ice sled. If he had to compare it to something...
"...Santa's sleigh? No, is it a dog sled?"
It was somewhere in between, but it certainly wasn't a traditional ice sled.
After studying it for a while, Dojin realized something was off and asked, "...But how is she supposed to ride it? I don't see any sticks."
Even if there were sticks, it would be a problem. Unlike a flat ice sled, sitting on a chair meant Sun-jam would need to push with much greater force to move. However, Dojin's worries vanished in an instant when Charlie suddenly bounded into view.
"...No way."
"Yes. Charlie is going to pull it. I got permission from the security team."
"It really is a dog sled."
With a resigned expression, Dojin checked Go Jung-wang's sled. Honestly, this one was just as absurd as Chanarshanhu's.
"...Is this a shopping cart?"
A rectangular box resembling a basket with a long handle attached to the back—if you put wheels on it, it would look exactly like a supermarket shopping cart. The problem was the footrest attached below the handle...
"...Just to be sure, are you going to push this yourself, Jung-wang?"
"Haha, I figured it would be hard for Hui-su to ride a sled on her own."
"...It's not a shopping cart, it's a stroller-scooter hybrid."
Dojin looked back and forth between the two sleds with a bewildered expression. It was a miracle they had built these things in just an hour.
As a result, only Chang-su, who had received a normal sled, looked utterly dejected.
"...Uncle..."
"I... I'm sorry."
In the end, Dojin apologized. Chang-su looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment.
No, seriously! That's cheating!
Dojin's sled wasn't bad. It was just a scaled-down version of the one he had built for himself, boasting excellent durability and speed. In fact, Chang-su had been thrilled when he first rode it. The child-sized sled offered a level of speed and stability that was incomparably better than the adult version.
Of course, that was before those monstrous contraptions appeared.
"Hahaha! Uncle, this is so fast!"
"Charlie, faster!"
Compared to a sled pushed by the superhuman Go Jung-wang and another pulled by a literal non-human creature, Dojin's sled looked far too humble.
"...Uncle..."
"Shh! Alright, just wait. Uncle will make you something amazing. Just play with this one for an hour first."
Unable to ignore Chang-su's pitiful gaze, Dojin eventually headed back to the workshop. Any thoughts of taking it easy had long since vanished. Even though Chang-su wasn't his own son and they were all family, right now, Chanarshanhu and Go Jung-wang were enemies he had to defeat.
I can't let my kid lose face out there.
Entering the workshop, Dojin examined his tools with a serious expression. His creative drive, which had earned him the nickname 'MacGyver' back at the factory, was burning fiercely.
When Dojin returned an hour later, the one who welcomed him most enthusiastically was, of course, Chang-su.
"Whoa, Uncle! What is this?"
Though he was speaking to Dojin, Chang-su's eyes were glued to the sled he had brought. Honestly, he couldn't help it. The appearance of the sled Dojin carried was far too eye-catching to ignore.
"What do you think? It's your sled. Go ahead, get on."
"Whoa!"
At Dojin's words, Chang-su quickly mounted the sled. He literally climbed on top of it.
"Alright, let me explain. This sled is similar to a three-wheeled electric scooter. If you press the switch on this handle, it goes forward. I've capped the speed for now, but just in case, don't hold it down continuously."
"Yes, sir!"
"This is the brake. You've ridden a bike before, right? Since we're on ice, it won't stop instantly, but it'll cut the sled's acceleration."
"Whoa..."
"It runs on a rechargeable battery, so you should be able to ride it for about two hours. Bring it back when you're done so I can charge it again."
As Dojin's explanation continued, Chang-su's eyes sparkled brighter and brighter. Sun-jam and Hui-su, who had approached at some point, were also looking at Chang-su with envious eyes.
No matter how superhuman Go Jung-wang's stamina was, and no matter how energetic Charlie the Border Collie was, they couldn't pull a sled for over an hour. But Dojin's sled could run for a solid two hours.
Suddenly, the two girls turned their gazes toward Chanarshanhu and Go Jung-wang. But even for them, building an electric sled was impossible.
"..."
"..."
All Go Jung-wang and Chanarshanhu could do was look away from the two girls' staring eyes.
"Whoa! Uncle, you're the best! It's so fast!"
"Hahaha! That's it, go! Run, Chang-su! Run! Destroy everything in your path!"
Now, the only voices echoing across the ice rink in Mabong-ri were those of Dojin and Chang-su, who had received the sled. Well, there was one more.
"...That's not even a sled anymore."
Do-hee, who had watched this battle from the very beginning, shook her head in embarrassment, but Dojin didn't notice. No, even if he had, he wouldn't have cared.
Hadn't someone once said?
If you have to choose between being a total dumbass and a victorious dumbass, you should at least be the victorious one.
For now, Dojin was more than happy to be the victorious dumbass.