Midway Check
With the game company's commissioned first-anniversary stream only about eight days away, I started going back over everything I'd prepared so far, determined to make the broadcast as perfect as possible.
From the shrine-maiden cosplay outfit, to nailing my performance as the character Celina, to the illustrations I'd draw on stream — I even pushed back a commission piece I'd planned to work on today just to double-check my materials. And when I finally finished the inspection, a thick, hollow emptiness settled over me.
It was the feeling of a bowl of gukbap served without the chives and the seasoning paste.
Something critical was missing. I pulled my luscious tail into my arms and sank into thought.
"Something's definitely missing. But what the hell is it?"
I only had thirty minutes of airtime. Hadn't I packed that short window with a solid plan?
Open with the Celina act and chat with the viewers, spend about five minutes engaging with chat, then draw something live on the spot. After fifteen minutes of producing a drawing that was basically NSFW, finish with ten minutes of gacha pulls on stream.
It wasn't a bad plan on paper. So why did it feel so incomplete now?
"No matter how I look at it, the plan itself isn't the problem. Just the acting and the drawing would already fill the time to bursting. So if the plan's fine, where exactly is the shortfall?"
I turned it over and over and still came up empty. In the end, I decided to lean on a community site for answers. Collective intelligence might just cut through this frustrating fog.
I logged out of the precious account I normally used, switched to a disposable nickname, and carefully started lurking on the game community my friend had told me about.
The conversation topics were still the first-anniversary stream and trash-talk about me. I silently recited shut up and lurk three times in my head, then began reading through the posts.
That many downvotes meant this post was clearly not it. Next.
[It's not that she's a hako — they hired someone who has jack shit to do with the game, of course people are pissed af]
...This one looked like it might actually be useful. The upvote count was solid too. Worth a read for sure.
I started chewing through the sentences, each one soaked in rage and resentment.
Putting their opinions together, the core complaint was simple: they hated that a streamer with absolutely zero connection to their game was hosting the first-anniversary broadcast.
The moment I confirmed their grievances, that uncomfortable hollow feeling in my chest vanished — and I realized just how complacent I'd been.
"I was trying to freeload way too hard. Of course a first-anniversary stream wouldn't be easy."
I closed the community site, immediately downloaded the game on my phone, and watched the opening PV roll as a single thought settled in.
Just a quick taste. Then I'm done.
"Fuck."
I looked out the window and the sun was already gone.
What the hell happened? Hadn't I sworn I'd only take a quick taste?
I grabbed the back of my stiffening neck and looked at the computer monitor — an almost-finished NSFW illustration sat right there on the screen.
When did I even draw this? I had no memory of drawing it.
Ah. Right.
Somewhere in the middle of a scene that was basically a noncon sequence, I'd decided a female mage would look insanely hot with perky, twitchy fox ears and a fluffy, luscious tail, and I'd gone feral drawing like I was in heat.
...Come to think of it, I'd also blown a ridiculous amount of real money buying packages and stuff. I should check my balance right now.
I sighed, opened the banking app on my phone, and checked my account with trembling eyes.
What greeted me was my money, brutally cut in half.
Faced with that horrific sight, I started cackling like a lunatic and diving straight into self-justification.
This is still better than stocks or crypto, right? Stocks and crypto leave you with nothing, but at least a gacha game leaves you with data figures.
Look at this beautiful golden parade spread across my phone.
This is a profitable venture, isn't it?
No. You absolute fucking idiot.
The money you dumped into this game could've commissioned big-name illustrators several times over.
You could've gotten multiple insanely hot pieces of art you'd never run out of fapping to for the rest of your life — and you torched it all on data figures?
"...Thinking about it like that, I suddenly feel like complete garbage. Fuck."
Blowing five million won on a game I might not even properly enjoy going forward — had I actually lost my mind?
There wasn't even a single hot fox beastfolk to get my blood going. So why the hell had I dumped five mil into this thing?
I sat there for a while, hollowed out, staring blankly at the monitor.
Then Hyeok-jin, who'd been dead asleep all day, finally seemed to wake up. He yawned and ambled slowly over to where I was sitting.
"What's this, Il-wol? A girl who's only ever touched the Heroes of the League tutorial is suddenly playing Il-wol out of nowhere?"
"Felt like I was freeloading too hard. I figured the character acting and drawing illustrations would be enough, but from other people's perspective it clearly wasn't."
"Fair. To gamers it'd just look like some random with zero game connection barging in. Good mindset, though. So, the game treating you okay?"
"Would I have played this much if it wasn't? You know how trash my mechanical skill is. This one's at least light on the mechanical demands, so it's a bit more forgiving."
As I answered, I picked up my pen to finish the NSFW piece I'd been working on. He stared holes through the monitor and opened his mouth.
"But there shouldn't have been a single character that actually hit your tastes. Celina's a fox beastfolk, sure, but you said loli mamas aren't your thing."
"It's not that they're not my thing. It's that they shouldn't exist."
"Same difference. Anyway, which character actually hooked you enough to keep playing? Without a favorite, this game gets miserable real fast."
At his curious question, I pointed to the bald, manly barbarian character on screen.
"Don't know about the others, but this guy's got clean, satisfying animations and a laid-back personality I like. Especially since, unlike you, he has a normal sex drive."
I snickered as I tossed out the teasing reply. He let out a long, heavy sigh, then spoke in a voice deliberately loud enough for me to hear.
"Should I just pin you down and fuck you right now?"