Cheat and You Die
My friend, who'd been teasing the succubus with that thick, luscious tail of his, suddenly collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.
No warning. No buildup. Just gone.
I poured killing intent into my voice and demanded to know if the dream demon had pulled some kind of trick — but the succubus only shook her head, just as clueless as I was.
Had he overdone something while I was gone?
No way. That hikikomori coward never went anywhere except his parents' house.
I was in the middle of checking his condition with yang energy, hunting for a cause, when every strand of his golden hair and fur began turning silver-white — and then he opened his eyes.
No. She opened her eyes.
The very person who'd fired a TS Beam at my one and only friend.
Those eyes weren't his blood-red ones. They were a pure sapphire blue, like someone had set whole gemstones into her sockets. And the sensuality rolling off her made his clumsy attempts at allure look like a child's crayon drawing next to a masterpiece.
I'd seen the Fox God a few times in spirit form, but we'd never actually spoken. Now she had borrowed my friend's body, descended into the flesh — and the moment she arrived, she beamed at me with a smile that did nothing to soften the murder in her voice.
"That hand on the tail. Remove it at once, you philanderer."
"Don't wanna. And philanderer? What the hell are you even talking about?"
"You still don't know… Very well. If you refuse to let go, so be it."
The bright smile never left her face as she sighed, the picture of reluctant necessity.
"I shall simply have to force the matter."
WHAM!!!
She drove a fist into my gut.
The strike was so fast I couldn't even react. Every last insurance charm I kept for emergencies — the ones that normally refused to trigger for anything short of a real threat — lit up at once. I had to give the Fox God her due. That power was no joke.
"Ghk… When that bastard talked about you, I could've sworn he said 'god' with a silent 'd' — as in, total waste of space."
"Believe him at your peril. The only one who ever gets to see me act the fool is him."
"Shit. No wonder foxes are the poster children for cunning. My friend should've seen you like this."
"Heh. Even if your friend beheld me as I am now, his reaction would be identical. He'd simply think, 'Hot. Instantly hard.'"
"…I can't even argue with that."
His love for fox beastfolk was something that had long since left common sense in the dust. Unless his life was actively on the line, he'd absolutely say, Strong or weak, she's a fox beastfolk, so of course I'm into it. The fact that he barely resisted when that black fox barged in last time made it a near certainty.
"Anyway — Fox God, was it? Why the hell are you leaking killing intent at me? What did I even do wrong?"
"You cheated. Is that not grounds enough to beat you to death? For a philanderer, execution is the only answer."
"When did I cheat? And for the record, I'm not even his boyfriend yet."
"It is a foregone conclusion, is it not? You know full well his female corruption is progressing by the day. And yet you leave him behind to dally with that worthless dream demon?"
"I seriously never cheated! I just wondered whether goat horns and bat wings would make decent handholds, so I gave them a quick feel. I had zero intention of actually—"
I didn't even finish the sentence. The Fox God closed the distance at the speed of light and threw another punch.
WHAM!
"Khrrgh…"
A sharp, ringing pain shot through my forearm. I hissed, and she looked down at me with a face as cold as a midwinter blizzard.
"You dare call that a defense? You should never have touched her in the first place."
"What was I supposed to do about curiosity?! I wanted to know what they felt like!"
"I have only ever watched from his side, and yet you remain a consistent bastard through and through. Just die."
A flurry of fists came at me. I scrambled to block, but the defensive spells I'd treated as spare lives detonated one after another in a chain reaction. Wherever a ward collapsed, her merciless knuckles found the opening, and every hit felt like my bones were shattering.
Fuck. Of all bodies, it had to be my friend's. I couldn't even hit back.
Just you wait until he's back in control. I'm collecting with interest.
I clenched my teeth and rode out the pain. Then her soft, almost gentle voice brushed against my eardrums.
"That look in your eyes is rather impure, is it not? Remember this well: the one at fault is not him. It is you. I am thrashing you as punishment for your infidelity."
"For the last time, I didn't cheat! You think I'd get off on a no-fur species like that? I like soft, fluffy fur! Clear animal features! Furries! Not some plain-ass succubus!!!"
"For someone who claims that, you certainly groped those horns and wings with great enthusiasm. You may deceive his eyes, but you cannot deceive mine, sorcerer."
…Damn her observational skills. Was this that beastfolk sensory bullshit?
Caught red-handed, I dropped my guard and laughed hollowly — just in time for her uppercut to catch me square on the jaw.
Bone cracked. My brain rattled. I went down hard.
As my consciousness dimmed, the Fox God leaned in close and whispered against my ear.
"There has been progress in his female corruption today, so I shall leave it at this. But if you ever pull another stunt like this again—"
Thick killing intent poured off her, completely at odds with the bright smile she wore as she finished:
"—I will not let it slide a second time."
"He's out cold."
Once I confirmed that the man destined to become my Apostle's husband had lost consciousness, I approached the succubus still bound by the talismans.
Ordinarily I could maintain a possession for two, even three hours — but I'd already used it once today, and I'd spent Yoreok on top of that. Time was short. I began considering how best to dispose of the little homewrecker in front of me.
"What am I to do with this hopeless little adulteress…"
I let a thick wave of killing intent press down on her. Even immobilized, the succubus trembled from head to toe and begged for her life.
"P-please spare me, Transcendent! It was all my fault! Please… just once… please spare this young dream demon…"
"Hmm. Is there any reason I should let a worthless succubus like you live? You tried to devour my Apostle — and beyond that, you tried to steal the lover he so dearly adores?"
"I-I'm sorry! They both just looked so delicious, I couldn't help myself… I'm still young, I can't control my greed yet! I-if you just spare me, I'll do anything — anything at all!"
If her hands had been free, she would have worn them raw with bowing. Tears streamed down her face as she pleaded. I studied her and fell into thought once more.
Beings of lower rank instinctively fear and avoid those of higher rank. And yet this insignificant dream demon had invaded fully aware that I stood far above her. That meant she had something — or someone — backing her.
I had to keep her alive anyway for the LaTube editing, so I decided to extract information while I was at it.
"Answer a few questions with complete honesty, and I shall spare you. However — if so much as a single falsehood leaves your lips—"
I kicked the unconscious future groom into the wall for emphasis, then lowered my voice to a quiet threat.
"—I will kill you so thoroughly that even your corpse will be hard to find."
I gently stroked the succubus's face as I spoke. The effect was excellent. Her complexion went deathly pale, and she scrambled to answer.
"I-I'll tell you everything I know! Ask me anything!"
Satisfactory. So long as no geas bound her tongue, she would spill whatever I wanted.
I began posing questions in a soft, almost affectionate tone to the thoroughly terrified dream demon.
"Question one. Who is behind this affair? From where I stand, you are far too cowardly to attempt something like this without help."
"A-a goddess! I really don't know her name! She just said if I went and showed my face, everything would sort itself out, so I came!"
"…She told you that simply appearing would resolve everything? If she is a god, which side does she belong to? The Celestial Realm, or the Demon Realm?"
Simply showing her face would fix everything.
Please don't let it be that dyke who lost her mind over same-sex romance.
Please say Demon Realm. That celestial lesbian was a problem even I struggled to solve.
Then again — why worry? The odds of a lowly Demon Realm succubus having ties to a Celestial being approached zero.
Still, complacency was the enemy. Life was full of black swans. There remained a vanishingly small chance this little homewrecker was connected to that lunatic.
So I prayed. I prayed with everything I had that this adulterous dream demon had nothing whatsoever to do with that insane woman.
I prayed and prayed — and unfortunately, the answer that left the succubus's mouth was exactly the name I did not want to hear.
"Celestial Realm."
"Fuck?"
"…Pardon?"
"…Nothing. A momentary surge of emotion."
My head throbbed. Of all the people I could have been forced to deal with, it had to be that deranged lesbian — and in a body that was far from peak condition, no less.
"At least the fact that she's a catastrophic navigational disaster counts as a silver lining."
When a god descended from the Celestial Realm to the mortal world, the landing point was almost always fixed to their own temple or shrine. As I recalled, that gay-obsessed woman's temple sat a considerable distance from here. Famous for being hopelessly directionally challenged, she would need a fair amount of time to find her way to this place.
"I have more than enough time to prepare. She will have just come down to the mortal world after a long absence — I shall give her a truly grand welcome. She may look forward to it."
While recovering my power in the mortal world, I had learned a great many things at my Apostle's side. With the excellent knowledge I had acquired from him, I could reshape that woman into a creature who could not survive without a man.
I began drafting a plan to corrupt that rabid homosexual into a heterosexual — and, while I was at it, issued a threat to the homewrecker still cowering before me.
"You. For now, you will become my editor."