I'm Not Usually the Type Who Draws This Stuff... You All Know That, Right?
After a brief KakaoTalk exchange with the commission client, I collapsed onto the bed, mentally drained, and flailed around like a dying fish.
"Fuck... Other meme artists, other streamers — they all get normal people flocking to them. So why do only freaks like this gather around me?"
— As I have told thee before, birds of a feather flock together. 'Tis because thou wert the first to draw those bizarre and vulgar pictures that such folk come crawling.
"That was an unavoidable choice to pull early aggro, okay? You think I actually wanted to draw that insane shit?"
— Hmm, thy mouth says no, yet thy body was rather honest. Betwixt thy legs, it was a little wet...
"Shut up. Say one more word and I'll slit my wrist with a knife and die."
I threw out the threat to intimidate the Fox God, but she only snorted and mocked me further.
— Very well, go on and try. If thou canst, that is.
"What's with that confidence? You think I won't do it if you dare me?"
The Fox God's smug attitude and that distinctive laugh of hers grated on my nerves so badly that I grabbed a kitchen knife — but she just looked at me with the warm, indulgent eyes of someone watching a child throw a tantrum.
— Shall we make a wager? If thou canst cut thy wrist with that knife, I shall grant thee a wish. But shouldst thou fail, thou shalt live eternally bound in thrall to me.
"That's way too sketchy — I'm not doing it. Hang on a sec? Just gonna take a little taste."
I brought the kitchen knife down on my wrist with everything I had — but the blade stopped dead, precisely 0.1 centimeters short of making contact.
"What... the hell is this?"
— What else would it be? A suicide-prevention curse, naturally. Didst thou not 'promise' never to raise another suicide ruckus?
Spurred by sheer spite at her words, I tried to cut my wrist again — and once more, the knife refused to go in.
"You cunning bitch. So this is how you play me."
I stared at her with a blank, dumbfounded expression, then quietly laid myself back down on the bed.
"Mother, Father. I've had my life mortgaged to this weird minor deity..."
— How many times must I say I am no minor deity?
"You only get worshipped as a god if you're useful to someone's life. What is this — you fire off a TS Beam willy-nilly and then take zero responsibility... Haa..."
— ...Did I not already say I was sorry? Still, once I regain my power...
"And what exactly can you do once you get your power back? Gonna regress me into a man or something?"
I fixed the Fox God — who had hung her head low — with a burning glare and pressed on.
"No, you can't. If I don't gather jeong-gi and yoreok with this body, you can't do a damn thing. You're just going to keep parasitizing me forever. Isn't that right?"
— That is not so. Shouldst thou gather sufficient jeong-gi and yoreok for me, I can become independent of thee. It will... take some time, however.
"So what's in it for me? Nothing! What the hell can I even do with this horny-ass body? Use myself as a side dish and masturbate? Yeah, that'll be a real blast."
— Mm... that much would indeed be enjoyable. 'Tis a rather sensitive body, after all... When 'tis time to indulge, thou shalt be able to indulge thoroughly.
"You son of a bitch, is that supposed to be a real answer right now? Even a dog should know when to stop talking dogshit, fuck."
— 'Tis not untrue, is it? Thou claimed curiosity, touched it once, then spent several hours straight indulging — and now thou dismissest it as a joke?
"That's...!"
The Fox God's pointed jab left me momentarily speechless.
When did she see me masturbating?
I definitely checked that she couldn't see before I started...
Wait — so that means she was watching live, in real time, while I spent hours having a happy time with my right hand?
"You fucking bitch?"
I rounded on the Fox God with my eyes bulging, but she only looked back at me with an expression of pure pity.
— Thou hast no right to curse this lady. For the first ten minutes thou didst glance my way — and for the several hours thereafter, thou didst not check on me even once, didst thou?
"That's true, but... no, at the very least you could've made some noise! Were you dead set on humiliating me to death?"
— Thou monster consumed by lust. Hast thou not considered how mortified I was by those vulgar cries of thine?
"Don't make me laugh! I handled it pretty quietly, thank you! The way you're talking, people would think I was screaming loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear!"
— Ah, so thou knowest that well, do we? As it happens, while thou wert enjoying thyself, several people did come calling. But upon hearing the contents, they made disgusted faces and went back home.
The Fox God shook her head as if the mere memory were horrific, and I sank into thought, trying to dredge up the memory of that masturbation session.
What the hell did I even say?
My head went completely blank from the pleasure flooding my whole body — I don't remember a single thing.
Apparently finding my struggle to force my useless brain into gear pitiful, the Fox God approached with a sympathetic face and whispered:
— If thou canst not remember, shall I tell thee again?
"...No. If I hear it, it's going to show up as tonight's nightmare. Do not tell me. Ever."
— Saying that only makes me want to tell thee all the more. In any case, thanks to the 'promise,' thou canst not kill thyself, canst thou? In modern parlance, I believe they call this 'perfect timing'?
Having shed her usual servile demeanor, the Fox God closed in on me as I backed away, her voice turning lewd and honeyed.
— 'Haaaaaang♡♡♡♡♡♡ Fox beastman's insides are amaaaaazing♡♡♡♡♡ Too sensitive — just a little scrape and I caaame♡♡♡ I've never felt anything like this... I've wasted half my liiiife♡♡♡♡♡' — is that not what thou said?
"Stop... stooooop!!!"
I clamped my hands over my ears, but the Fox God only wore an even more sadistic smile as she came closer.
— Stop? Why, we have only just begun.
Someone. Please. Just kill me.
Please.