Let's Be Decent and Leave Out the Lolis — I'm Not Going to the Police Station Yet, You Lunatics
"So the three of you watching my stream right now — or rather, staring at my chest — you're all from the community boards, right?"
"Ugh, you filthy bastards... Are my tits really that good?"
Listening to the viewers trade crude remarks among themselves, I propped my chin in my hand and let out a complaint.
"No matter how few viewers I've got, this is a personal stream, not a community board, you maniacs. If you're gonna sit there jerking off, go do it on the boards."
Something was off.
In every novel I'd ever read, at least one halfway normal viewer always showed up. So why did my stream feel less like a broadcast and more like browsing a tiny community site?
I'd only started today, so of course I was still clumsy at streaming. But I knew full well that once viewers started jerking off in chat, there was no end to it — and if it got bad enough, it would wreck the whole stream.
I hemmed and hawed, then finally steeled myself for a life-or-death gamble.
If the three viewers who'd wandered in ignored my ban on jerking-off talk and just left, game over. If they actually listened and helped build a clean-yet-filthy stream atmosphere, success.
And if I hit game over?
Well, what else was there to do? I'd just go outside, shake my baby-feeding milk jugs around, and twerk or something. One dance later and I'd get hauled off to some research lab to live a life worse than a dog's — but then again, I couldn't even masturbate in my current state, so my life was already worse than a dog's. Did it really matter?
Decision made, I leaned into the mic and spoke in a low voice.
"From now on, anyone who jerks off in chat gets banned on the spot. I don't care if you stop watching — I turned this stream on for my own satisfaction anyway. Want to stroke it? Do it somewhere else."
The moment the words left my mouth, the chat window — which had only been trickling along to begin with — froze solid.
So it failed after all?
Fine. If it goes to shit, it goes to shit.
The viewer count stayed the same as before. But the chat still wasn't moving.
Were they out of things to say if they couldn't talk about jerking off?
I'd take even the crude comments from earlier at this point.
Was I still drawing, nursing that disappointment? In the middle of that awkward silence where nobody dared open their mouth, one brave viewer finally spat out something filthy.
...This crazy bastard.
Had the ghost of someone who died regretting they never got to see a pair of tits latched onto him or what? Why the hell did everything keep coming back to tits?
I stared blankly at the chat window, and the same viewer who'd broken the silence spoke up again.
When the viewers started getting snippy right back at me, I drummed my fingers on the desk and pulled the mic closer.
"Then you guys can go promote me instead. Content: a stream packed with filthy tits and drawings. That enough?"
"Yeah. Right now. Do that and I'll draw one piece of whatever you want, plus open up a commission slot."
"I don't want to eat prison rice, you fucking freak! If you're gonna eat prison rice, go eat it by yourself, you pedo!"
After landing a clean hit on the weirdo who'd been trying to request loli porn since earlier, I was finishing up the SD gumiho I'd been drawing when the viewer count suddenly jumped by seven — up to ten.
The viewer count had climbed to ten, but all that really meant was the three perverts had become ten perverts. Nothing had fundamentally changed.
"I'm pretty sure I told you to bring normal people, so why did only more perverts show up? Welcome, everyone. You all came to look at the drawings, right?"
I was going to lose my mind.
I'd asked just to be sure, and of course these bastards had come to stare at my chest, not the stream.
I really wanted to end the broadcast. Why did only these kinds of people keep flocking to me?
The moment I asked myself that question, an answer arrived from an unexpected place.
— Why, is there not a saying that like attracts like? Does thou truly believe a vulgar soul such as thyself could mingle with ordinary folk?
...Am I not normal enough, though?
— Place thy hand upon thy conscience and speak. Art thou truly a normal person? From what this lady hath observed, thou art far from it.
No, I'm plenty normal. Twitchy, fluffy fox ears. A voluptuous body that looks like it could embrace anything. And a lush tail you can use as a pillow or a handhold anytime you want. Just liking fox beastgirls is more than enough to make me normal.
— ...There is simply no reasoning with thee. Do as thou wilt. This lady shall merely watch.
The Fox God sighed and vanished somewhere, and I checked on my roughly ten viewers before slowly pulling out the content I'd prepared.
"With this few viewers, this should be doable. Alright, everyone drop one tag each. I'll take them all and draw something. Oh, and no 18+ stuff, so choose carefully, okay?"
I was sure whatever came out wouldn't be normal, but it still seemed like it would make for pretty entertaining content. Bracing myself for the shocking tags the viewers were about to spit out, I steeled my heart.
But then.
Starting off like that already felt ominous.
Was this right? Had I just awakened another abyss?
Doubt crept in, but if the remaining nine were normal there was still a chance of recovery, so I just stared hard at the chat window.
Nine tags down.
We'd already strayed way too far from the normal range.
Could I even draw this without slapping an 18+ tag on it?
"I'm getting dizzy for real. So, is the last person not putting in a request?"
Don't sound the alarm over this kind of bullshit, you absolute idiot.
"Take your time thinking. I'll start on the rough in the meantime. I genuinely have no idea how I'm supposed to draw this."
I was blocking out the face shape for the rough when the viewer upon whom the comedy god had finally descended tossed out one god-tier tag.
"Futa?"
"I was bracing for some god-tier tag, but alright. I'll draw futa — but I'm drawing it my way."
Whatever it was, at least it beat BL.
Every single tag was enough to drive a person insane, but...
Wait a fucking second.
If I drew this as a loli, I'd get reported under child pornography laws on the spot.
"Tentacles, loli, femdom, oviposition? All fine, but leave the loli out, okay? This is Korea, not Paraguay, you lunatics... I am not planning a trip to the police station yet..."
I clasped both hands together and begged the viewers with everything I had, but all that came back was a cold response.
Fucking hell.