Episode 2, Episode 2♡
Deep darkness always carried the damp, fishy stink of mildew.
The prestigious noble house of the Empire.
The deepest, most neglected outbuilding on that glittering estate—the barn annex—had been the whole world in which I was born and raised.
My mother had been beaten for dirtying the family bloodline, and in the winter of my tenth year she became a cold corpse.
I remembered my mother’s end.
When the servants of the manor wrapped her body in a burlap sack and carried her out, I had been shoved into a corner, too afraid even to breathe.
What came before grief was a grotesque sense of absurdity.
At the very moment the person I cherished most was being pitifully violated and taken from me, I felt something nameless at the very brink of terror.
A pounding heart that felt ready to burst, tingling fingertips... the sensation of being taken away.
From that day on, a cruel brand was seared into the depths of my heart.
Anything precious would be taken in the end.
And so, if I couldn’t have it, then rather than endure the tragedy of losing it, I would make sure no one became mine in the first place. It was a monstrous fear.
I had not yet realized then that this was the seed of the warped perversion that would one day shake my soul to its core.
“Hey.”
How many days had passed since my mother was gone?
A bright voice rang by my ear as I lay starving among rotten straw.
“Are you dead? Or just pretending to sleep?”
I managed to lift my heavy eyelids.
A girl stood there, backlit by the blinding winter sun pouring through the gap in the barn wall.
Transparent golden hair, crimson eyes sparkling with curiosity.
An unreal beauty so dazzling it hurt to look at her.
It was Erica, the count’s relative staying at the main house, and a genius magician girl.
“……”
“Can’t even talk? Hmm. Your looks really do make you seem more beast than human.”
Erica strode toward me with haughty steps and tapped my chest with the tip of her shoe.
There was no contempt in it, no disgust.
It was merely the gaze of someone who had found an interesting toy.
“You’re hungry, right? Want some of this?”
What she drew from her bosom was a piece of fine bread with a sweet smell.
I had never even seen food like that in my life, but even so I curled in on myself beneath her kindness.
I was a lowly bastard; if I recklessly coveted what the lady of the house offered me, I had no idea what kind of beating I’d be in for.
“Hee, look at you being all guarded. You really are a stray dog.”
With a snort, Erica tossed the bread toward my face.
She settled onto the straw with a plop, straightening the hem of her short skirt as she sat.
“If you don’t eat it, I’ll take it away. You should be honored—this is a personal gift from the genius Erica, who learned magic at the age of three. Got it?”
“...Wh-why...?”
The voice I forced out after so many days sounded cracked, like scraped metal.
The instant Erica heard it, her eyes lit up and she tilted her head.
“Why give it to you? I’m bored! Everyone in this huge mansion is so fake I’m dying of it. And then I find something interesting living in the corner, don’t I?”
“I’m... dirty. A bastard. If you stay with me, you’ll get in trouble.”
“Trouble? By who? Me?”
Erica laughed in disbelief.
She reached out and pinched my cheek without the slightest hesitation.
It was a touch so white and soft it felt almost unbearably pure.
“The head of the house crawls before me because he’s scared of my talent, and you think someone’s going to scold me? You really are stupid... ♡ Lift your head, scrub. Look at me.”
Drawn by her forceful hand, I met her blazing red eyes.
“From today on, you’re my toy. That means starving to death is forbidden. Understand?”
“……Ah.”
That was my salvation in childhood.
When the whole world treated me like filth that should never have existed...
She was the only one who came looking for me and held out her hand.
Her methods were arrogant and cruel, yes, but Erica was the only light that dragged me out into the world.
From that day on, my world was completely overturned.
Erica came to the outbuilding every single day to torment me and take care of me in equal measure.
Thanks to her overwhelming talent, no one in the main house could stop Erica from associating with a bastard like me.
As time passed and we both grew older, Erica was still my superior and I was still her follower.
Whenever Erica trained her magic in the clearing behind the mansion, I always stood watch behind her.
“Haa...”
Once the flame magic that had been scorching the surrounding air was withdrawn, Erica wiped the sweat from her brow and panted for breath.
Unlike me, who was already growing into a boyish frame, Erica’s growth had been strangely slow, and she was still so small her head barely reached my chest.
But the curves perched on that tiny body grew more bewitching by the day.
The lush volume visible between the thin clothes clinging to her sweat-damp skin stirred strange images merely by being looked at.
“Scrub. Water.”
“Here.”
When I handed her the water skin, Erica dropped onto a rock and drank deeply.
Water ran down her throat and slipped between the white swell of her breasts, and I couldn’t help noticing it.
“What are you staring at so blankly? Don’t tell me you’re imagining something obscene about my body? A filthy swordsman lusting after his childhood friend... ♡”
“N-no, it’s not like that. I just thought you were incredible. You can use upper-class flame magic back to back like that already.”
“Hmph, of course. Who do you think I am? I’m the Empire’s youngest upper-class magician, you know. You keep swinging that sword and getting winded, don’t you? What a pity—an untalented scrub swordsman like you will spend your whole life just watching my magic, I guess. Heehee ♡”
Erica lifted her nose high and crossed her legs.
She stubbornly favored short clothes that exposed her thighs, utterly unsuited to her petite frame.
I found my gaze drawn, without meaning to be, to the soft flesh squeezed by the garter belt.
“By the way, have you gotten any better with the sword? You can’t keep hiding behind my skirt forever.”
“I’m training every day too. So I can become a knight... and protect you.”
“Eh...?”
Erica’s movements stopped for the briefest instant.
A tiny ripple ran through her crimson eyes, and then she was back to her usual prim smile.
“Protect me? You? Heehee, a scrub sure knows how to talk big. Come on, then—try me.”
“Huh? Why all of a sudden?”
“I want to see how good this great knight of yours really is. You said you’d protect me, right? All talk from a scrub who can’t even land a hit. Come on, draw your sword!”
As Erica teased me with playful flicks of her wand, I had no choice but to tighten my grip on the practice wooden sword.
She circled lazily around me on light feet, puffing out her red lips.
“What’s wrong? Afraid you might scratch my body? Or is it that you can’t even dream of piercing the barrier of a first-class magician? What guts do you have left to talk about protecting me, you idiot... ♡”
“Haa, you’re really—this is just a joke...!”
When I jabbed lightly with the wooden blade, Erica snapped her fingers and deflected my sword with a translucent wall of mana.
The heavy recoil sent a sharp ache through my wrist.
She bent her waist seductively and looked down at me with pity.
“See? You can’t even break a single barrier of mine. You should just stay behind me for the rest of your life. I’ll burn every monster and beast to ashes anyway. Your job is just to stand there... and watch me crush everything in front of your eyes. That’s your role. ♡”
“Erica...”
“What? Don’t like it? Did you want to become some cool knight who protects me? But without me, you’re nothing but a useless bastard, aren’t you?”
Her words were deliberately provocative.
But unlike when I was a child, I understood now.
I knew how deeply Erica cared for me, and how much she treasured me.
She wasn’t trying to trample my wounded pride. She was clumsy at expressing affection, and what she meant was that she would become my safest shield.
“Why aren’t you answering? Are you really pouting? How cute... ♡”
Erica must have mistaken my silence, because she laughed and poked at my cheek with both hands.
“Don’t worry. No matter how much of a scrub you are, I won’t abandon you. You’re my only... friend.”
The Erica who spoke the word “friend” had the face of a pure girl hidden behind her arrogant mask.
A tender declaration that she sincerely cared for me, and that she would be my protector and salvation alone.
......
But then the deepest part of my trauma rose up inside me.
Erica, who was practically my salvation.
The defense mechanism that said it was better to make her mine than to endure the tragedy of losing her.
Where possession had been abandoned, a grotesque and twisted desire swelled in its place.
What if... the one so precious to me were trampled by another man?
A horrifying, intoxicating fantasy bloomed in my head.
Her—so noble, so strong—shivering beneath the touch of a strange man who was not me.
Those red lips that always whispered “scrub” with such arrogance...
Soaked by another’s touch with pleasure and shame.
“Ahhn, aaahhn...! ♡ Se... secretly having sex without Eric knowing... feels so gooood...! ♡”
And I, hidden in the crack of a doorway, could only watch helplessly, unable to do anything at all.
“Nggh.”
The stimulation of that excessive fantasy tore a rough moan from my throat before I could stop it.
Blood surged all at once into my lower body, and an uncontrollable heat seized my entire frame.
“Eric? What’s wrong all of a sudden?”
At that instant, her voice struck my ears and jolted me back to myself.
The girl who always teased me like I was beneath her was calling me by my real name, “Eric,” instead of the usual “scrub.”
There wasn’t a trace of mischief left in her eyes now—only pure concern and worry directed at me.
Erica, who had no idea I’d gotten aroused by imagining something so twisted, was just fretting that I might be in pain somewhere.
“Eric, are you hurt? Why are you so red? Don’t tell me your mana’s gone haywire? Say something, idiot!”
She grabbed my sleeve and checked my face.
When I met those innocent eyes, a vicious wave of guilt and anguish stabbed through my chest.
The shame of having imagined something so obscene and destructive about the precious person who was worrying over me like this.
Yet beneath that violent pain, my lower abdomen only burned hotter, stirring a bizarre excitement.
The brand from the winter day when I had lost something precious... at the moment it fused with her kindness, it was transformed into perfect pleasure.
“I-I’m fine! It’s just... your mana is so strong, I think I got a little overwhelmed by it.”
“Really? You scared me, you idiot Eric... If you get sick, who am I supposed to play with?”
Only then did Erica seem to relax. She pressed a hand to her chest and put on her sulky little smile again.
“What, were you dazzled by my powerful, beautiful mana? Heehee, you’re adorable, honestly. ♡”
I never wanted to lose Erica.
And yet, rather than possess her only to suffer the pain of having her taken from me again...
I wanted to watch her be dirtied in another man’s arms. That naked contradiction gnawed at my heart without mercy.
“...Yeah. I’ll stay behind you forever, Erica.”
I smiled, forcing down the heat raging through my lower body and the twisted mess inside my heart.
Withdrawing the truth of how hideously the monster inside me was growing...
I simply surrendered myself completely to the sweet, warm salvation standing before my eyes.