The Grave Robber's Dirge
"The… the cemetery?"
"Why would they bring us to a place like this…?"
The students wore bewildered expressions. Only moments ago they'd been scribbling away with quills in the lecture hall, and now, without warning, they'd been dropped into the middle of a graveyard.
A gray, overcast sky hung above a thick blanket of fog. Black-leafed plants withered along rows of gravestones stretching into the distance, and a mournful gloom seeped from every corner of the place.
Simon rose to his feet and walked over to the nearest grave. The epitaph read, In memory of the souls lost in the Mahilani landslide—and that was all. Not a single name of the buried was recorded.
Judging by the date, it had happened ages ago. It seemed the victims of some disaster had been laid to rest here en masse. The graveyard itself was a wreck, apparently untended for years—choked with dried vines and weeds, the earth torn open in places by monsters or wild dogs.
"Welcome to the Public Cemetery!"
"Welcome!"
The twin professors came gliding toward the students on light, graceful steps.
"We've secured all the necessary permits, so rest assured—Kizen is authorized to use this cemetery for educational purposes."
"And when it comes to teaching Funeral magic, there's no better place than a graveyard!"
The twins gestured into the air, and a dome-shaped barrier unfurled to enclose them and the students within its radius.
"It's just a soundproofing barrier!"
"Now then—shall we begin the lesson?"
The twins exchanged a glance, gave a single nod, clasped their hands together, and drew in a long, deep breath.
[La―――――!!]
A shiver ran down Simon's entire body, every hair standing on end. A sinister energy slid up his spine and pulled the back of his neck taut.
The other students were just as startled, letting out gasps of awe one after another.
"Wow, that gave me chills."
"It's like a sacred choir!"
It wasn't a bright or beautiful melody—rather, a tune laced with a faint undertone of dreariness, evocative of a death song sung by the departed.
The twins cut the note off in unison.
Clap clap clap clap!
Several students found themselves applauding before they even realized it. The twins gave a disdainful little snort and turned back to face them.
"We told you, didn't we? Kiddos?"
"What did we say was the reason you're here? Hmm?"
The students answered as one.
"To experience the origins of Funeral magic, Professor!"
The twin professors nodded.
"That's right! From this moment on, we begin with the most fundamental of fundamentals!"
"We're going to learn the 'Dirge'—the song that calls forth the undead!"
"We'll start with the absolute basics—the schoolyard-bell-ringing level. If you can't even keep up with this, you're disqualified as a summoner, right, Rin?"
"Exactly right, Run! Disqualified as a necromancer, plain and simple!"
The two girls joined hands.
"We'll sing one line at a time!"
"Just follow along!"
"Yes, Professor!"
Summoning class had abruptly transformed into music class. The twin professors sang one line at a time, and the students echoed each one back.
[Ra-v-ri-ma-đưa ra. anh!]
An overwhelming timbre washed over the surroundings. Tense and unnerved by the eerie sound, the students opened their mouths and sang along anyway.
And then the professors corrected them.
"Only the Ma part that connects the phrases—sing it louder!"
So far, there'd been no magical apparatus of any kind involved. It was an utterly ordinary music lesson. The only differences were that the lyrics weren't in the continental tongue, and that since it was a song meant to summon the undead, the melody felt strange and difficult to sing.
Still, it was only a short verse or so in length, so memorizing it wasn't hard. During the brief break they were given, the students could be heard humming the tune as they wandered about.
And even during the break, the twin professors kept up their lecture.
"This dirge is of unknown title, unknown author. Among necromancers, it's known as 'The Grave Robbery'!"
"Back in the old days, tomb robbers supposedly wandered graveyards at night singing this song!"
"And when a grave started to move, they'd know there was still a corpse inside it!"
"Nowadays you can summon undead even in the cities, so it's all ancient history!"
The twins' explanation rolled across the graveyard like an echo.
"Alright, break time's over! Everyone up!"
"Now we'll teach you how to activate dark magic through song!"
There were endlessly many ways to produce magical effects through music, but what the twin professors taught in the first lesson was the most basic method of all: spread a magic circle out in front of your mouth, then use your song to touch the formulas and Rune Script within the circle, triggering the magic. Intuitive, and simple.
Of course, only by mastering this stage would they be able to sing the far more powerful dirges that came later.
Oh.
Trying it firsthand was fascinating. When Simon spread his magic circle and began to sing, lights flared and faded at different points across the circle, again and again, tracking the progress of his song—as if the circle itself could understand the music.
"You have to cut off the Ra-v-ri part precisely, exactly where it breaks!"
"If you string them together, it becomes a completely different command, and the magic circle won't respond!"
The twin professors and the TAs circulated among the students, correcting their singing.
Simon, who'd been working harder than anyone, was on the verge of losing his voice, and had taken out his water bottle for a quick drink when Lorraine came over.
"How's it going? Are you getting the hang of it?"
Simon scratched his head sheepishly. "Mm. Harder than I expected."
"Want me to teach you a bit? I sang dirges a lot as a child, so I know them well."
Classic Lorraine. The power of an early education.
"Please, go ahead."
Simon didn't refuse. Lorraine nodded, spread a magic circle before her lips, and drew in a small breath.
At last, her lips parted.
"Finde-die Die-be…"
!
From the very first note, goosebumps rippled across his skin. Her voice soared out clean and exquisite. It was unmistakably the same song the twin professors had sung, yet it felt entirely, completely different.
At the same time, a faint chill crept up his spine—the true power of the dirge was woven into every note.
Thud! Thud!
As her voice rolled outward, the graves before her trembled—and that was with the circle's output dialed down to its minimum. If she'd unleashed it at full power, it felt as though the ground would burst open on the spot and the hands of the dead would come clawing up.
"Here, you lift the end of the note just slightly. Like this."
She would sing a phrase, then teach Simon one key point—over and over.
"And at the very end, let it ring out pitifully, like a cry. ein-dickes Schädel üdbrig!"
She stopped singing, then looked at him.
"Now—your turn?"
Simon, who'd been lost in a daze, snapped back and nodded. "I'll give it a shot!"
He stepped forward.
I can do this. I can do this too.
Drawing in a long breath, he tightened his core.
"Fin-ded-ie D-ie-be!"
The moment Simon's unmistakable voice came pouring out, Lorraine's face froze in shock.
"Ich tre-ffe sie, dieim Grab…"
The students nearby, hearing Simon's song, had begun to murmur among themselves. Even Toto and Fitzgerald, who'd been close by, drifted over.
"Schädel übrig——!"
Having forced out the final syllable with everything he had, Simon wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with a flourish.
"Well? What do you think?"
"Uh… um. Simon."
Lorraine's cheeks tinged faintly pink. Then she turned her head away, as if gazing at some distant mountain.
"You really can't sing, can you."
"?!"
HAHAHAHAHA!
The watching students burst into loud laughter. Toto in particular was in a state of pure, unfiltered shock.
"So there's something even Simon can't do."
"Mm. If a human were good at everything, they'd lose their humanity."
Fitzgerald pushed up his glasses as if to voice his complete agreement.
Simon's face flared crimson. "Wh-what's wrong with my singing? I hit every note!"
"It's not about the notes, Simon~"
At some point Serne had sauntered over, her silver-blonde hair swirling. She waved her long, pale fingers playfully in front of Simon's eyes.
"Your rhythm is completely off, isn't it? Mr. Beat-Deaf."
"…Ugh!"
With that, Serne drew in a deep, haughty breath.
"die im Grab gefangen ist——!"
At the outrageous volume she unleashed—scrunched-up scowl and all—layered over that elegant resonance, the students' jaws dropped wide open.
That maniacal genius produced the full effect of a dirge through her singing alone, without even using a magic circle. The surrounding graves were heaving up and down.
"Is this how it's done?"
Serne shot Simon a light wink and turned away. Behind her, Lorraine stood clenching both fists tight, seething.
Simon let out an awkward laugh.
Was singing like a lunatic some genetic hallmark of the Ivory Tower families? Come to think of it, Serne had said she was an adoptee brought in by the Ivory Tower's head.
Whatever.
Simon pulled himself together, gave a little cough, and sang the same phrase back exactly as she had. The only response was a scattering of strained, pitying chuckles.
Serne made cooing, consoling noises. "Aww~ it's fine. I like a man who can't sing. After all, you're better than me at all the things I love."
…Why does that feel weirdly insulting?
Lorraine chimed in too. "It's okay, Simon. Dirges have nothing to do with singing talent. As long as you can wake the undead, you're fine. Beat-deafness is a perfectly curable disease."
Lorraine! Not you too…!
While Simon—who had hit the wall of raw talent for the first time in ages—knelt in despair, the twin professors came chattering over.
"Shall we get started, Rin?"
"Let's begin, Run!"
"Alright, kiddos! From this moment on, we're conducting the graded assessment! Spread out and practice on your own!"
"If you manage to awaken an undead in front of one of us or a TA, you pass!"
The twins clasped hands and stretched them out to the side. Every student's gaze followed the direction they pointed.
"That teleport circle over there is ready and waiting!"
"Any kiddo who passes and receives her score can head straight back to school!"
"And after that—loooong free time!"
At the mention of returning to school, the students' eyes lit up. The twin professors raised their joined hands high toward the sky.
"Then, starting now—"
"GO!"
The instant the starting signal dropped, the students scattered in a mad rush. Claiming a good gravesite meant everything.
Simon hurried off as well, and before long he found a reasonably secluded spot tucked away among the trees. He drew in a deep breath.
The first graded assessment of Funeral magic class. I will not fail this!
Simon's eyes blazed with resolve.
Four hours passed.
Ninety-five percent of the Summoning majors who'd entered the graveyard had already returned to Kizen.
Serne, who'd earned an A+, left first, with Lorraine close behind. Aseraz and Hector went without saying—both among the top of the class. Even Toto and Fitzgerald departed the graveyard.
And then there was—
"Finde… die… be…"
Simon's voice was completely shot.
So there really are things effort alone can't fix.
Before long, the last remaining male student left with him through the teleport circle.
At some point, the graveyard had been swallowed whole by a smothering darkness.
"Someone's been left all alone."
"All alone, indeed."
The twin professors came drifting over on those light, floating steps of theirs.
"Follow us."
"Loser."
"…Yes, Professor."
Simon trailed after them, deeper into the cemetery. Each carried a lantern in one hand, casting light against the dark.
Where are they taking me?
Were they moving the lesson somewhere else since this spot wouldn't do? Or were they planning to punish him?
Whatever the case, Simon—the dead last of this lesson—had no options to choose from. He shuffled wearily along behind the twins.
At last they arrived at a densely packed burial ground completely overgrown with grass. Even if the area they'd left behind had been poorly maintained, the graves there had at least been laid out in some kind of order—here, it was a total catastrophe. It seemed that merely getting the bodies into the ground had been priority enough, and the graves crisscrossed in utter chaos.
"Professor, this place…"
"Giving up?"
Professor Rin asked it suddenly, and Simon flinched and fell silent.
"That's right! Giving up is a student's right!"
"Would you rather just take your F and go back to school?"
"…"
Simon's fist tightened. His voice scraped out of his ruined throat.
"I want to see it through to the end."
At those words, the twin professors tilted their heads.
"That's weird, Rin."
"It is weird, Run."
"You know better than anyone that no amount of trying will work?"
"You know better than anyone that it can't improve—that the odds are zero percent?"
"So why do you keep challenging it?"
"Why won't you give up?"
It was posed like an interrogation, but Simon answered with a smile.
"Because I've never once thought of a reason why I should give up."
The twins' eyes went blank.
"Ooh. That line of yours, Run! Paid in full! Took a direct hit!"
"No way! Technically that was Run's doing!"
"Don't you lie!"
The twins scuffled for a moment, then stopped fighting in unison and each took a step back.
"What's your name?"
"Simon Polentia, Professor."
"Good. We'll teach you, Simon."
"The truth is, that dirge we had you learn—you were never meant to be able to sing it in the first place, Simon."
"…Pardon?"
The twins joined hands and dropped their voices low.
"A shark has no need to learn the songs of sardines, after all?"
"We'll show you the real one. The one that suits you."