All Aboard the Holy Train
Simon, having the dust beaten out of the robe he'd just bought that day, turned around to look behind him.
From amid the pile of garbage, a 'Ptooey!' sounded, and Metin raised his head.
Heal
Holy power rippled from the hand covering his face. The nosebleed stopped, and his crushed nose began rapidly knitting itself back together.
"What trick did you pull?"
Metin pushed himself up against the wall. "There's no mistaking the smell of Jet-Black on you. How did you withstand an Exorcism?"
"I'm a Priest too, you know, Inquisitor."
Simon shrugged, showing off the Blessing draped over his body like a garment. Then he folded his hands neatly and spoke.
"As I keep trying to say, there's been a misunderstanding. My name is—"
"I don't want to hear it!"
Metin summoned his divinity. Once again a subspace unfolded around him, and various instruments of torture began attaching themselves to his body.
"I trust my nose more than the tongue of any evildoer! You are without a doubt—!"
BOOOOOM!
Without warning, an enormous hammer made of pure holy power came crashing down on top of Metin.
And far off in the distance, gripping the head of that hammer with a thoroughly unimpressed expression, stood Lethe.
"What a way to spend your very first day in the Holy Federation."
"Lethe!"
The moment she released the hammer, the divinity composing it scattered into the air and vanished.
The unconscious Metin collapsed into the garbage pile, becoming one with the surrounding scenery.
"I vouched for you and let you out of my sight for one second, and you immediately cause an incident. What on earth did you do to get caught by these leeches?"
"I seriously didn't do anything."
Simon scratched the side of his head, looking wronged. "I was just buying a few things at the market, and this guy suddenly starts going on about smells and jumps me out of nowhere."
"Is that so? Sharp one, aren't you."
Lethe glanced back toward Metin and frowned.
Beating him up was one thing, but they couldn't kill an Inquisitor. It would leave evidence behind, and the whole affair would blow up tens of times bigger than it already was.
Slipping away quietly here was the best option.
"Let's go."
"Yeah."
The two of them left the scene at a brisk pace. The moment a couple came walking arm in arm into the alley from the opposite direction, they pulled their hoods down even deeper.
A short while later, screams rang out from the couple, and the two of them slipped into the night-market crowd as if nothing had happened.
"By the way, what's with that outfit?"
"Bought it fresh around here. It's for disguise."
She swept her eyes up and down Simon's robe and said, "The clothes are actually pretty nice. Unlike you. The clothes, I mean."
"You don't have to stress it twice. If you like it, want me to buy you one too?"
A flicker of surprise crossed her face before she hastily arranged it into an icy mask. "I'd rather hang myself than match couple outfits with you."
At that, Simon burst out laughing.
The next morning.
After all the commotion, Simon and Lethe, having rested well at the inn, arrived at the station without incident.
Finally!
Waiting for the Holy Train, Simon swelled with anticipation. This would be the first train ride of his life.
Trains weren't a common mode of transport in the Dark Alliance. Simon had assumed he would go his whole life without ever riding one.
And here I am getting that experience in a completely foreign land.
In the Holy Federation, by contrast, the train was the single most essential form of transportation. The fares were steep enough to burden ordinary citizens, yet ridership was so high that compartments were almost never empty.
I wonder if this'll be okay.
Meanwhile, Lethe kept sneaking glances at Simon. In truth, she had planned to use some other means of transport besides the train to reach their destination, the Tree of Life.
But Simon had followed along with her lessons better than expected, and perhaps under Anna's influence, his grasp of the culture ran deep. His performance left nothing wanting when it came to playing the Apprentice Priest, so she had decided on the Holy Train.
Riding it meant that all the hardships and trials of the journey ahead—the camping, the navigation, the battles with monsters—could all be skipped entirely, reaching their destination in one straight shot of five days.
It was a fine means of travel, but the Inquisitors swarming around the train still nagged at her.
Still, the one who sniffs people out wasn't on the train's roster.
She had already cashed in a favor with an acquaintance through her communication crystal and checked the full list of Inquisitors assigned to today's train. The name of that sharp-nosed bastard 'Metin' was nowhere on it.
Should be fine.
"Ah, there it is!"
Simon said. From far off came the clanking of metal as the train pulled into the station. A forceful whistle, reminiscent of a ship's horn, blared, and the train's visible smokestacks billowed clouds of white smoke laced with holy power.
Simon broke into a run, wearing a childlike grin from ear to ear.
"No matter how many times I look, it's incredible!"
His eyes gleaming, he turned his head. "Isn't it going a bit fast, though? Is that one actually supposed to stop in front of us?"
"...I'm embarrassed on your behalf, so lower your voice. And it's dangerous to stand there. Get back."
Lethe yanked at the hem of the excited Simon's clothes. Even as he stepped back, Simon's eyes stayed locked on the train.
To think a hunk of metal that massive could move that fast. How many wheels did it even have? How many people could it carry? What would the inside be like?
Before long, just as Lethe had said, the train began to slow, then came to a complete stop. The compartment doors opened, and people poured out as if spilling over.
The stop was a generous thirty minutes. Behind those loading and unloading their luggage, the train travelers also stepped outside to stretch or go buy food.
Once every passenger had disembarked, the train crew emerged and waited to receive the boarding passengers.
"Alright, let's board."
Simon and Lethe approached the crew with their tickets in hand.
"...What exactly are you scheming?"
Baccara, the senior Inquisitor in charge of Holy Train 1631, stood in front of the train station with his face hardening. Before him, Metin stood at rigid attention.
"You're telling me, out of nowhere, you want to work under my jurisdiction?"
"Exactly as I say. I don't care about the pay—just let me serve officially. I'm begging you."
Metin bowed his head. Baccara scowled and scratched at his scalp roughly.
"What's with you young folks these days, being so damn pushy? What about your own jurisdiction?"
"I've taken leave."
"...You've got to be kidding me. You take vacation leave, and then you volunteer for more work? Why?"
"There's someone I must catch."
Sparks flew in his eyes. "That man is boarding this very train. In the name of the great Goddess, he must be punished."
"You're a special breed of lunatic, you know that?"
Baccara heaved a deep sigh.
The young man was a hopeless case, but his father was a high-ranking official and former Inquisitor. He couldn't simply be brushed aside.
In the end, Baccara added Metin's name to the Inquisitor roster.
"You said it yourself, so you'd better hold to it. If I hear you whining later that it's too hard and you want off this train, I won't let it slide."
Metin bowed his head politely. "That will never happen."
So this is what the inside of a train looks like.
Having handed over their tickets and stepped inside, Simon was looking around in a daze.
Entering the train, they came upon a common section where the seats were packed tightly together. Lethe explained that these seats could only be used by those riding the train for a single day.
What the two of them had reserved was not one of these common seats, but a proper compartment furnished with beds. They carefully crossed over into the next car.
...Whoa.
The moment Simon opened the compartment door, he was startled.
Inside was an extremely narrow corridor, barely wide enough for one person to pass. Lining both the floor and the walls along that corridor were beds stacked in tiers—a seven-bed compartment that could sleep up to seven people per car.
First-tier and second-tier beds, and then a third tier so high that lying in it, your stomach would nearly touch the ceiling. Simon wondered if a person could even climb into that one.
Worse, the beds were all completely open to the corridor, so every time Simon passed through the narrow passage, he had to endure countless stares.
From every corner came the sounds of snoring, teeth-sucking, chatter, and chewing. The stench of sweat and body odor stung his nose.
"This is Third Class."
Lethe explained. Then she caught sight of an old man lying on a bed, hand down his trousers vigorously scratching his crotch, and turned her head away in disgust.
"It's a little cramped, but it looks cozier than I expected."
Simon's eyes gleamed as he turned to Lethe. "Are we sleeping here too?"
"...Are you insane? How would anyone sleep in a place that reeks of sweat?"
Following Lethe, they passed through Third Class and moved on to Second.
Here, he finally felt like he could breathe. A reasonably generous corridor, and four beds per compartment. With that suffocating third tier gone, the space seemed to come alive.
Soft lighting had been installed in the ceiling, and proper pillows and blankets were visible. From here on, even the way people dressed was noticeably different.
"Second Class is reserved for Clerics, model parishioners, and their families."
"Wait, so the cars are divided by class status?"
"What else did you think?"
"I figured it was by how much you paid. Second Class costs more than Third, that kind of thing..."
"Very in-character thinking for someone from your side. Though honestly, I'd say that would be the more rational system."
The two of them passed through Second Class as well.
The final section—First Class.
"Wow...!"
From here on, it went beyond luxurious and entered the realm of outright opulence.
It felt less like stepping onto a train and more like walking into a banquet hall. Soft lighting glowed overhead, and a red carpet lay across the floor.
Looking into the compartments, even the second-tier beds were gone. Two beds per compartment—plush and spacious—with wine-colored curtains hanging at the windows.
On the desk sat an assortment of complimentary refreshments, fruit, and wine, while the walls held a mirror, a clock, storage space, and a few books.
This First Class compartment would be home for the two of them for the next five days.
"A2. This is ours."
The two of them stepped inside. Simon sat down on the plush bed, still marveling, while Lethe stood at the doorway, scowling in dissatisfaction.
"What's wrong?"
"First Class compartments used to come with actual doors, so you could stay private. They've ripped the doors off entirely. Probably because of the heretic screenings."
Simon folded his arms. "Is it always this intense with the heretic screenings here? What happened at the night market yesterday was honestly shocking."
"It's normally never this severe."
She let out a sigh. "Like I said before, heretics—this Blood Sky Cult or whatever they're called—have been killing and abducting citizens left and right, so security has been tightened to the absolute maximum. Those bastards normally walk around disguised as ordinary people."
"Ah, I see."
Not long after the two of them took their seats, the train's whistle sounded. Looking out the window, they could see the crowd that had been stretching outside the station streaming back in all at once.
Into First Class, too, the passengers who had been outside came chattering noisily. A few of them, walking down the corridor, glanced curiously in their direction.
Clank!
The car body shuddered. Feeling the vibration travel up through his feet, Simon's eyes lit up.
"Lethe! I think we're departing!"
"Ah, lower your voice, you country bumpkin! It's embarrassing."
Despite her scolding, Simon glued himself to the window regardless, watching the scenery outside.
Some of the people still seated on the platform saw him and waved with smiles on their faces. Simon, thrilled, waved right back.
The Holy Train gradually picked up speed. The car body rattled, and a resonant hum rose from the friction of wheels against rail. The scenery outside the window rushed backward.
Then an announcement played.
The train will ascend shortly. Passengers, please fasten your safety belts in your seats.
"Ascend?"
"We're entering the aerial track. Put your belt on."
The two of them sat on the beds and fastened the safety belts connected at their ends. A moment later, with a heavy clunk, the car body tilted upward.
"...!"
Feeling the strange sensation coursing through both legs, Simon gazed out the window. The tracks were floating in midair.
The train climbed onto them, and a road through the sky was laid out before them. In an instant, the world below fell away into dizzying depth, and the houses shrank to specks.
Carried by that momentum, the train soared clean over a towering mountain.
"Waaah!"
Watching Simon cry out in wonder again and again, Lethe felt her own shoulders puff up a little despite herself. In a good mood now, she wiggled her fingers as she explained.
"Among the properties of holy power, there's something called 'buoyancy.' Maximize it, and you can float even rail lines and fortresses into the sky."
"Is that famous Sky Island of Ephnel because of holy power too?"
"I'd imagine so."
Simon bit lightly at his thumb. "I want to go see it someday."
"...Insane talk. If you went there, you'd die."
Having said that, she added with a sly smile, "Though if war breaks out, who knows~ I can't imagine you'd ever have business on the Sky Island, but maybe someday the day will come when I plant the Goddess's flag on Roc Island."
It was a veiled provocation, but Simon was too busy staring out the window to notice. Watching the country bumpkin gape and go 'Wow, wow' at everything, Lethe leaned back against the headrest and snorted a laugh.
Before long, the Holy Train, having cleared the mountains, settled back down onto the surface rails. She heard the murmur of passengers in the other compartments unfastening their belts. Simon undid his own and said,
"This might be a really random question, but do trains have bathrooms to—"
"They do. Go out into the corridor over there and keep walking straight, you'll find one."
Simon exclaimed in delight and headed off to the bathroom. Lethe was chuckling to herself and about to open the wine set on the table when—
From the corridor came a burst of shrill, riotous laughter.
"Unnie, unnie! New people came to our car!"
"How rude, coming aboard without even paying your respects to unnie first!"
Oh, they're having fun, aren't they.
Lethe crossed her legs and poured wine into her glass.
A short while later, a girl in a white uniform came shuffling into Lethe's compartment as if pushed along.
Around her, other girls peeked in with their heads poked out, snickering. Their faces said, You're dead now.
"Ahem! Hello there, sister! Might I have a moment of your time?"
So that's the 'unnie' they were going on about.
Lethe raised her head, and her eyes swept quickly up and down the girl's attire.
An Ephnel uniform? But...
Lethe allowed the corner of her mouth to curl up.
It screams knockoff from a mile away. Does she actually think she can pass that off?
The girl in the Ephnel uniform swept her hair back elegantly as she entered.
"Lovely to meet you. I'm Ellen Zeil, a second-year at the Holy College of Ephnel."