The Doctor's Delusion
Kim Kanghyun buttoned his shirt all the way to the top. On his desk lay his doctor’s coat, which he had kept meticulously clean. While everyone already knew he was a doctor, he felt that now that he had been recognized as the representative of the work detail, he needed a dress code that matched his station.
“Time to head out.”
A hum escaped his lips. Outside, the members of the work detail would be gathered. Just a short while ago, he had held a negotiation with Oh Junghwan. And exactly the next day, the search teams had resumed their normal activities.
‘This just goes to show that even the shelter leader can’t ignore what I have to say.’
Oh Junghwan, having judged that it would do no good for the existence of Daeheung to become public knowledge, had not announced the fact that he had dealt with them. The battle with Daeheung and their total annihilation were facts known only to a very select few. Since the threat had been neutralized, it was only natural for the search teams to resume their work. However, Kim Kanghyun, unaware of this, was trapped in a grand delusion. He was under the impression that the shelter had normalized because he had negotiated it.
“Oh, he’s coming out!”
“Hello, everyone.”
Though he was wearing a doctor’s coat, he had become a politician. Standing before the podium, he cleared his throat and put on his best camera-ready smile.
“Are there any absentees?”
“Everyone is here, except for those currently on duty.”
“Excellent. Let’s begin.”
Every morning at 9:00 AM, the work detail held a morning assembly in one of the classrooms. It was an idea Kim Kanghyun had proposed after watching the search teams hold their meetings in the main auditorium. ‘Gathering often like this builds unity.’ After all, half of the Osori Shelter consisted of the work detail. Therefore, becoming their representative was equivalent to seizing half the power. Intoxicated by a sense of superiority, Kim Kanghyun wanted to solidify his position even further.
“If you have any grievances, please speak up. I will compile them and present them as your representative.”
“Haha, it’s truly reassuring to have you.”
“Honestly, since Jang-hyung left, the voice of the work detail has become much quieter, hasn’t it? If it weren’t for Representative Kim, we would have just kept living like that.”
“Think nothing of it. It’s only natural. I’m just a worker for all of you.”
“Wow, look at that humility. This is why people need to be educated.”
Why did the title “Representative Kim” feel so much more pleasant than “Doctor”? Kim Kanghyun struggled to keep his twitching lips from curling into a grin as he listened to the people.
“It’s been a week and two days since the search teams stopped their activities. For nine days, we haven’t received any rations. I think this is unfair. We stood our shifts during those nine days, didn’t we?”
“Hmm.”
It was a valid point. The shelter’s rule was that in exchange for standing guard, they received half of the supplies brought in by the search teams. It was true that the work detail had been unilaterally at a disadvantage for the past nine days.
“Thank you for the excellent suggestion. I will discuss this with the shelter leader and try to coordinate it.”
“Representative Kim, our meal portions have also been cut significantly. Yesterday, two of us had to share a single pack of instant rice.”
“I will bring that up as well.”
The people wore satisfied expressions. Watching those faces was a new joy for Kim Kanghyun, far greater than healing a patient’s wounds. It was the illusion of having become someone important. In an era where the meaning of money had faded, being a doctor had meant being called here and there to treat people, only to receive a single word of thanks at best. But these people were genuinely grateful and even put him on a pedestal.
Meanwhile, those bastards from Gusan had treated him like a disposable tool, let alone offering thanks. ‘It suits my aptitude.’ He felt like he was finally receiving proper compensation. Having studied harder than others and always being called an elite, Kim Kanghyun felt that the respect of the people was only natural. ‘It’s finally becoming a normal collective.’
Before the world collapsed, he had valued the mind over the body, the pen over the gun, and wisdom over bravery. It was a time when a pressed shirt was respected more than torn clothing. The things he had believed to be absolute truths had been tragically overturned after the zombie outbreak. Kim Kanghyun still found it difficult to accept that.
“Are you going to see the shelter leader now?”
“I suppose so. There’s no reason to drag it out.”
“That may be true, but…”
“Is there a problem?”
“It’s not so much a problem, but they’re currently in a search team meeting.”
“So what?”
“The instructor is there… Oh, never mind. Haha. Representative Kim will handle it, I’m sure.”
They’re still intimidated by the search teams. Kim Kanghyun thought, dismissing it as trivial. If anything, this was a perfect opportunity to announce that he was the representative of the work detail.
“I’ll be back.”
He crossed the playground and entered the main auditorium. Being sensitive to the smell of blood, he felt a slight wave of nausea. ‘Ugh, it’s not like they’re savages—couldn’t they at least wash up?’
The gazes of the search team members fixed upon Kim Kanghyun. To the work detail, the main auditorium was practically sacred ground, so even the fact that he had entered it was thrilling. Above all, he felt that they, stained with the scent of zombie blood, were inferior to him.
“What brings Teacher Kim here?” Oh Junghwan asked.
Teacher Kim? Not Representative Kim? As a bitter feeling welled up, Oh Junghwan drove the point home.
“Let’s finish the meeting first. In any case, that is why Choi Hyunho has left the shelter.”
“We grew quite fond of him, so it’s a shame. To think he’s leaving for the south alone…”
Choi Hyunho hadn’t left; he was dead. But Oh Junghwan had made up a reasonable excuse to hide that fact. Only Lee Cheon-il, Han Jiyoung, and Hwang Gyunam were the only ones who knew the truth.
“Isn’t an individual’s choice important? Let’s all support him.” Hwang Gyunam encouraged the others. He, too, looked as if he might burst into tears at any moment, but the others simply assumed it was because they were sad to see him go.
“Excuse me?”
Kim Kanghyun, who had been listening silently, could no longer hold back and interrupted. How dare they treat me, Representative Kim, like a transparent person? Inferior things.
“Anyway, the meeting is concluded with this. Everyone, you may leave.”
“No. Everyone, stay right where you are.” Oh Junghwan tried to wrap things up, but Kim Kanghyun said this as he walked toward the center.
“Do you have some business?”
“Is this how you treat someone when they arrive?”
“……”
The atmosphere turned icy, as if cold water had been poured over it. The search team members just looked at each other’s faces. Watching them, Kim Kanghyun fell into another delusion. ‘As expected, look at them panic because I came on strong. There’s no need to be intimidated for no reason.’
He arrogantly lifted his chin.
“Our search team members are quite lacking in manners. Is it because you weren’t educated properly?”
“…Did you take your meds, you bastard?”
Han Jiyoung, who could never tolerate such a thing, twisted her face in disbelief. Having already heard plenty about Han Jiyoung, Kim Kanghyun did not back down. She was just a person with a foul mouth, far from being a person of real power.
“Bastard? You’re young, how dare you…”
“Wow…! This is truly maddening. I’m already in a shitty mood because of that Choi Hyunho guy, so could you please just quietly fuck off?”
“Talk all you want. I won’t talk to small fry.”
“S-small fry?! You fucking!”
“Jiyoung, stop.” Lee Cheon-il stopped Han Jiyoung, who was about to draw her sword. She was so angry that her ears had turned red. If it weren’t for Lee Cheon-il, she would have already sliced off a limb. Of course, Kim Kanghyun was completely unaware of this fact.
“I have come as the representative of the work detail. From now on, please show some manners. Shelter Leader.”
“…If you have something to say, go ahead.” Oh Junghwan responded unexpectedly calmly. It was because he recognized him to some extent, as he was the shelter’s only doctor.
“At least you’re someone I can talk to, Shelter Leader. I intend to speak about the grievances of the work detail. First, for the past nine days, the search teams have been resting, but the work detail has been standing guard duty the entire time.”
“So, are you saying it’s unfair?”
“That is exactly it. For the time being, I would like to adjust the 5:5 distribution to 7:3 or 8:2.”
Though he had stopped her from drawing her sword, he couldn’t control her mouth. Han Jiyoung spat out like a fighting cock.
“You’re really acting like a piece of shit. What? The search teams rested? If you don’t know anything, can you just shut your mouth?”
“Jiyoung.”
“No, Senior. Look at the way that bastard talks. Aren’t you angry?”
“I said I know, so stay quiet. This isn’t a place for you to intervene.”
“Haa… I’m so annoyed.”
As Han Jiyoung quieted down, Kim Kanghyun only grew more emboldened.
“I’ll continue. I would like the meal portions restored to their original state. We stand guard all day, so you should at least provide proper meals, right?”
“I will restore the meals as soon as possible. It wasn’t intentional, so please explain that well.”
“When exactly is ‘as soon as possible’? Please give me an exact date.”
“I cannot guarantee that. Supplies are sometimes found in abundance, but there are more times when we come back empty-handed.”
“Well, that’s for the search teams to figure out. Honestly, isn’t it a fact that you’ve been slacking off for nine days? I don’t understand why the work detail has to suffer.”
Oh Junghwan, who had been trying to resolve this as smoothly as possible, clamped his mouth shut. Kim Kanghyun was dividing the shelter in two to represent the position of the work detail. Because Lee Cheon-il had worked so hard for the harmony of the shelter, he could no longer just stand by and watch.
“Is that the grievance of the work detail members?”
“Yes, these are the contents I compiled this morning.”
“Let me ask you one more time.”
“Ha! Do you think I’m making things up? Why would I lie?”
“Don’t speculate. I’m just trying to clear up a misunderstanding.”
“Tsk! Misunderstanding my ass.”
Lee Cheon-il lightly ignored him and headed toward the classroom where the work detail members were gathered. Kim Kanghyun followed him, snorting. ‘What will change just because he talks? Anyway, uneducated people always dig their own graves.’
Kim Kanghyun was confident. At least, until Lee Cheon-il stood before the podium. Having been dispatched to Gusan, Kim Kanghyun did not know the extent of Lee Cheon-il’s position in this shelter.
“I-Instructor, hello. Haha…”
“You’re all gathered here.”
“Yes, well…”
Lee Cheon-il fell silent for a moment and scanned the room. Not a single person met his eyes. Cheon-il let out a deep sigh and slowly opened his mouth.
“I know how much the work detail suffers. But I’m sure you all know well that the search teams have many hardships as well.”
“……”
“You’ve watched your colleagues turn into zombies and die, haven’t you? Such tragedies can happen at any time. If we are colleagues, you should understand even if we rest for 90 days, not just nine.”
“Th-that’s true. Haha…”
“Why is it that you want to share the profits fairly, but you cannot share the sacrifices?”
Thanks to his past actions, Cheon-il’s words carried immense weight. Because he was stronger than anyone, yet more altruistic than anyone. Because he had carried the burdens that no one else would shoulder, all by himself.
“I’m sorry… Our thinking was shallow.”
Feeling ashamed, the people bowed their heads one by one. At that sight, Kim Kanghyun’s eyes widened in shock. This isn’t right. This isn’t the picture I imagined at all…
“In the future, if you have any grievances, talk to me directly. Misunderstandings arise when you go through a third party for no reason. Just like today.”
“Yes, yes. We will certainly do so. Once again, we are sorry…”
There was a time when a pressed shirt was respected more than torn clothing. When wisdom was valued over bravery. When the pen was valued over the gun. In those days, that was certainly true. But the world had changed. Bravery was the virtue of his work, the gun was a means of survival, and torn clothing was a badge of honor. Kim Kanghyun could never accept that fact. The world had changed, but he could not. And those who fail to change are always the first to collapse.