I Will Never Be a Maid

I stared at the words written on the scroll with eyes as cold as ice.

A status window? Seriously?

It was such a stale, overused trope that a sigh slipped out before I could stop it. What could you really expect from an author who wrote such a trash ending? If he had even a shred of proper storytelling sense, he never would have wrapped things up like that. And the information here was pitifully sparse. Just the most basic personal details. It claimed that more would unlock the better I understood Alice, but honestly… I doubted that hack had bothered to put anything actually useful in here.

At least the grades are somewhat worth looking at.

Even those weren’t impressive. I didn’t know the exact numbers yet, but everything except dexterity and speed seemed average at best, maybe even below. It looked like I’d transmigrated into the body of a completely ordinary girl.

“The name is Alice.”

No need to change it. It was a familiar name I’d seen plenty of times before. As I inwardly cursed the author for dumping me into such a worthless situation, my eyes caught a small line of text at the very bottom of the scroll.

Oh?

My eyes widened at the unexpected gift. In other words, it was an inventory with no limits. This might actually be useful. Honestly, I didn’t need it right this second… but an inventory was an essential item in pretty much any game. It would definitely come in handy someday.

I closed the scroll and looked around.

“...Is that it?”

No matter how much I searched, there didn’t seem to be anything else of note. Oh well. I hadn’t really expected much from that guy anyway. To be honest, I’d half thought he’d just abandon me here, but it seemed he still had a tiny bit of conscience left.

I let out a short sigh and tucked the scroll into my clothes. Now it was time to think seriously. What exactly should I do from here?

The answer was actually simple.

Make a lot of money.

It was my one and only reason for living. I still hadn’t given up on my dream of opening my own café. Even if this was another world.

Of course, the absolute best-case scenario would be to watch the ending the author mentioned and return to my original world… but I wasn’t sure that was possible. According to the author, the story would continue progressing even if I did nothing. The protagonist didn’t die in the final ending; the Northern Grand Duchess simply became the second final boss and that was it. That bizarre Grand Duchess would probably end up collapsing someday under the combined power of the grown protagonist and the male leads who loved her.

If I tried to interfere with the story on purpose, it might actually delay the ending even further. So maybe I should just earn money, open a café, and quietly watch the plot unfold on its own.

If I’d been born with a silver spoon, things might be different. But for an ordinary person like me, opening a building and starting a business wasn’t something you could just casually experience. This situation, however, was special. If I could gain that precious experience of self-employment here and then return to reality, it would definitely help with running a café.

But buildings weren’t exactly easy to buy. Especially in a world without concepts like loans. In the end, what I needed more than anything was a large amount of capital.

…Should I try adventuring?

If I got lucky and found some rare items, I could probably earn quite a bit. And if this really was the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠world from the novel I’d been reading before I transmigrated… just sticking close to the protagonist and picking up the crumbs that fell from her would probably be enough to buy a building.

Knock knock—

“Eek?!”

The sudden sound from the door made a high-pitched voice burst out of me instinctively. Moments later, the carriage door opened and a bearded man appeared.

“We’ve arrived. Please step down.”

Oh. So the coachman was right there.

Of course he was. It would have been stranger if there wasn’t one on a moving carriage. Come to think of it, the rattling had stopped a while ago. We must have finally reached our destination.

I carefully climbed down from the carriage and looked around.

…Where am I?

The unexpected sight made my eyes widen. Whether it was winter or not, the entire area was softly blanketed in pure white snow. Rising from that snowy field was a black iron gate. Beyond it stood a mansion so enormous it could easily be mistaken for a castle.

“C-cold…!”

A sharp, blade-like wind suddenly cut across my skin, making my whole body shiver violently.

“I’ll be going now.”

While I was busy enduring the freezing cold, the man who I assumed was the coachman placed a luggage bag in my hands and immediately returned to the carriage.

“W-wait—!”

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

I called out to him while trembling from the cold, but he showed no reaction whatsoever. He simply climbed back into the carriage and drove off the way we had come.

“…Hic.”

Left all alone in the middle of a snowy field with icy winds howling around me, I sniffled and stared at the massive gate behind me. That mansion beyond the gate must be my destination. I had no idea what business a girl named Alice could possibly have at such a luxurious estate fit for royalty… but right now, going inside was my only option.

Let’s get moving.

If I stayed out ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠here any longer, I’d freeze to death.

I struggled to lift my feet, which were buried in the snow, and walked forward. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠One of the two soldiers guarding the gate stepped in front of me. He wore silver armor and a blue cloak embroidered with a pure white wolf. When his eyes met mine from beneath his helmet, I swallowed dryly without thinking.

While I was still wondering what to say, he looked me over from head to toe and gave a small nod.

“You must be the young lady here for the interview. May I have your name?”

“Huh?”

An interview? Were they hiring someone at the mansion?

“…Aren’t you?”

When the soldier narrowed his eyes, I quickly waved my hands and shook my head.

“N-no, that’s right. I’m here for the interview.”

“What is your name?”

“…Alice. It’s Alice.”

He pulled out a sheet of paper and began scanning down a long list of names. My heart started pounding.

What if it’s not there…?

Given that this girl Alice had come all the way to a place that clearly didn’t see many visitors, there was a high chance she really was here for an interview. Still, if my name wasn’t on that list, things would get extremely complicated. Cold sweat ran down my back.

“Ah, here it is. Found you.”

Fortunately, my fears didn’t come true. I’d been at a complete loss for what to do if I was abandoned in the snow, but it seemed that author still had at least a speck of conscience. I still didn’t know what kind of interview this was, but at least they wouldn’t kick me out. That was enough for now.

While I breathed a sigh of relief, the guard put the list away and spoke again.

“The maids inside will perform a body search.”

“…A body search?”

“It’s a precaution to prevent any possible disturbances. We ask for your cooperation.”

It was a reasonable request. A mansion this luxurious couldn’t afford to let its guard down easily. Still… a body search?

I looked down at myself. An unfamiliar body—youthful but unmistakably female—filled my vision. I really didn’t want to show this body, which I hadn’t even gotten used to yet, to other people…

Can’t be helped.

I’d rather endure a little embarrassment than freeze to death out here.

“I understand.”

The guard nodded once and opened the gate.

“Once inside, an attendant will guide you. May blessings be with you.”

I thanked the guard and stepped through the gate. The mansion that came into view was far more vast than I had imagined. It was so enormous that dozens of people could live there without it ever feeling cramped. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of important person lived in a place like this. If I got a job here… the salary alone would probably be huge.

“You’re here for the interview, correct?”

While I was staring blankly at the mansion, a mature woman’s voice came from behind me. A middle-aged woman with a gentle aura stood there, followed by a group of maids. She had the beautiful features of a mature woman, but what truly caught my eye was her maid uniform.

…A beautiful maid.

I’d seen celebrities wear them for cosplay before, but seeing one in real life was a whole different experience. It felt strangely fascinating.

“I am the head maid of this estate. You’re a little late, so we should hurry. Excuse me.”

“Eek?!”

The head maid approached without warning, placed her hands on my waist, and began thoroughly searching my body. She checked my waist, legs, and upper body with professional precision.

“Ugh…”

Even though she was a beautiful woman, being touched by someone else wasn’t exactly pleasant. But the head maid was more professional than I expected. Before I could even feel too uncomfortable, she finished the entire search in an instant.

“Please wait in the room to the left. I will call for you shortly. We’ll meet again soon.”

After the dizzying body search, I followed her instructions and entered the room on the left. Inside, I saw girls who looked around my age or a little older gathered together. They glanced at me briefly before turning away, clearly uninterested.

Are they all here for the interview too?

Feeling a bit awkward, I sat down in an empty seat and took a moment to catch my breath. A large fireplace in front of us wrapped the room in warm, cozy heat. I rubbed my frozen fingers together, trying to bring some life back into them. Compared to the brutal cold outside, this place felt like heaven.

But what kind of interview is this, exactly?

A massive-scale interview being held at such a huge, luxurious mansion. From the looks of it, they were probably hiring maids. Not that it really mattered to me. Even if I got the job, I had no intention of actually working. How much money could a maid possibly make? No matter how hard I worked doing laundry and cleaning, it would take forever to save up enough to buy a building.

I will never, ever become a maid.

How could a man like me possibly do that kind of work? I was born a proud Korean man. If I was going to transmigrate into another world, shouldn’t I at least aim for the big leagues? There was no need to even think about it. Absolutely not. No way.

I stared at the contract in front of me with trembling eyes. The amount written there was so far beyond my expectations that my mind went completely blank.

A maid…

Maybe just hearing the details wouldn’t hurt?

Yeah. It’s not like I’m agreeing to become a maid. I’m just… listening to the offer. That’s all.