The Public Sub's Confessions
Yang Ji-hwa spoke in a quiet, resigned voice, her words carrying the weight of years spent in the shadows of the netori cafe.
"He doesn't scold me separately... Since he's a civil engineer, he earns a steady income... That's why."
"Probably... there's another woman out there. I sometimes catch a certain woman's perfume on my husband's clothes when he comes home."
"Sorry for asking personal things over and over..."
"No... The public sub in the cafe has to accept everything... If I can't accept it, I wouldn't have lasted eight years... But... I don't know... As the kids get older... the public sub life seems like it's time to fold..."
"What do you mean by that?"
"My eldest daughter is twenty-six... My second son is twenty-three. The eldest is working at a job... The youngest just got out of the army recently... It seems like my son has noticed something. He keeps digging through my things... something feels off about him."
"My son is probably trying to tell his father... to avoid a messy situation. Anyway... I'm not afraid of divorce... but if the public sub life gets tied to my husband, it will naturally spill over to the kids too... If my eldest daughter finds out... it might be quite a shock... Even if I divorce, I hope my true nature stays hidden. When that situation comes, I think public sub life might become too difficult... At that point... I probably have to choose divorce and find a way to be sold off."
"What exactly is 'being sold off'?"
"Ah... When you're not in a situation where you're tied to multiple members... instead of just lending out your body... you get handed over to a specific member or someone they recommend... and you form a primary-sub relationship with them. You become their personal sub... and according to the new primary-sub's wishes... you live out the rest of your life."
"Do you want that?"
"I just want to live a new life. Sometimes when I'm doing public sub work... I feel a little uneasy... about my son or daughter's friends catching me in the act. I haven't even thought of what excuse to give yet. But if I divorce my husband... I can just say I remarried another man. Actually, all the public subs who passed through this cafe... when they get divorced and sold to individuals... they do a surface act of pretending to remarry a new man while hiding the primary-sub relationship. But... whether the end of personal sales is good or bad... I don't think we can say for sure yet. It's a thoroughly private matter... so rumors don't spread easily."
Ma Kyeong-il was confused.
How much gap should be set between the values that Yang Ji-hwa thought and the values that ordinary people thought... It was really difficult to easily accept.
"How many times a week do you hold these gatherings?"
"Not many... Usually once or twice a week... I can do more than that... but because popularity has dropped a lot... the old members don't come looking for me much... I try to fill at least ten a month... Recently the newly selected public subs... don't often come out because of personal circumstances."
"I think that's a wrong attitude. If you're a public sub... you should become a public toilet more because of the members' needs. When I first started public sub life in this cafe... I really was a public toilet the whole week... Gangbang schedules were always booked at least four times a month. Even if my bottom was swollen and sore... if the members wanted, I would participate in gangbangs or threesomes... doing the meat toilet role for the members. But... these days I hear that public subs don't even do gangbangs... let alone threesomes. Thinking about me in my late forties... it's really unimaginable... I was roughly fucked by nine members in a row for six hours... then hung upside down by rope for an hour being spanked on the ass... and then for another hour subjected to golden play and needle play... without ever once refusing or saying it was hard. I think that's the true attitude of a public sub."
"I don't even want to be abused like that anymore... but because my stamina has dropped a lot... it seems like the members don't even try to rough me up that much. Still... it's fortunate that there's a gangbang schedule this month... In this gangbang... they say they'll do golden two liters of feeding in a special order... It's tough... but I'll try my hardest... Kyeong-il-ssi must definitely attend... I'll really do my best."
"Good? Doing something like a gangbang?"
"It gives me the feeling of being alive. I feel like I've become a very useful woman... Since the old days... when I was abused like that... my bottom would be soaking wet. Starting in my early forties... I started secretly cheating on my husband... Men always enjoyed my body to their heart's content... and when they got tired of me... they abandoned me..."
"Being abandoned was sad... but even when abandoned... other men immediately clung to me. At that time... I thought... I must want to become a public toilet... something like that."
"Is that good? The expression 'becoming a public toilet'?"
"Being dominated and violated by a man I don't know... is always thrilling... After menopause... I can't feel that anymore... but even while being fucked and feeling the fear of pregnancy... the forties when I enjoyed that moment's ecstasy... it was really... incredibly thrilling. Now my body has become one that can't do things like getting pregnant."
"......"
Ma Kyeong-il... honestly had many more questions... but he closed his mouth thinking that continuing to talk with this woman Yang Ji-hwa would make his mental state collapse.
Even in that situation... Ma Kyeong-il's gaze fell on the deep cleavage of Yang Ji-hwa's voluptuous breasts wearing a low-cut t-shirt... and his body heated up.
He pulled Yang Ji-hwa onto the bed and tried to kiss her. While receiving the kiss... Yang Ji-hwa reached her hand into Ma Kyeong-il's pants. The two were passionately entangled on the bed.
Jo Bong-young... the vice president in charge of domestic sales at a large corporation... was having lunch alone with Dr. Hwang Jeong-geon... a psychiatry specialist.
"Doctor... It's been a while."
"Mr. Vice President... I hope you've been well too? Since I don't often go to off-meetings... I don't get many opportunities to see your face."
"Hey... Ko Dong-seok... the junior... has he completely left the cafe now? That friend was still a founding member... and since he's young... he did all sorts of odd jobs... they say."
"Yeah... I'm a bit worried. That friend had a very fragile mentality. Of course... it's not all about that... Actually... he thought he was manly and had guts... but when he met his first wife in his life and experienced the first beating in his life... it seems a strong self-defense mechanism was born. Since he didn't serve in the military... there was no prior training about such beatings. It must have been very hard."
"Sigh... My heart is heavy too. Hearing that story about Ko Dong-seok... and me personally inviting Park Jeon-mu... since I was the one who did it directly... in a way... it seems like I should have taken the beating instead... Ko Dong-seok's friend took it instead."
"No... Ko Dong-seok did wrong too. A netori... when meeting the husband of the woman he's working with... should thoroughly investigate and check that the stability is completely secured before rushing in... but that friend only thought about the thrill of violating the husband and acted too hastily. You were also stubborn... and too full of self-confidence."
"Stealing another man's woman is honestly... even if a knife fight breaks out... it's not strange. We should be grateful that it ended like this."
"And... the mental wounds caused by that type... should never be forced to heal."
Dr. Hwang Jeong-geon... a psychiatry specialist... continued speaking in a very calm voice... maintaining a steady tone as if counseling a patient.
"The mental wounds caused by a new shock that hasn't been experienced... take a very long time to heal. Naturally... leave it to the flow of time. Even if that time is long... there's no other way... that's the best. That friend of Ko Dong-seok... is currently suffering from insomnia. People who haven't experienced it don't know how scary insomnia is."