Wanting to Grow Old Together
Ji Hye-in was knocking back every glass her husband Yoo Kang-soo poured for her, accepting each one without the slightest hesitation.
"They say men go through andropause too. But I'm still too young for that. I'm only forty-seven, after all. I ran into Han-joong a few days ago. He asked after you. Said if a woman like you ever showed up, he'd want to get married on the spot."
Ji Hye-in nodded along.
"You're the only one who looks down on me. Everyone else compliments me. They say I look good. Han-joong should find a nice woman and start a family of his own, too. Men can't live alone once they get old. They say when the testosterone drops, the loneliness hits even harder. And men start falling apart as they age — aches and pains everywhere. No matter how healthy and strong you are now, what are you going to do when you get older?"
"When I think about being suspected and treated like dirt by you, I just want to throw this whole wife thing away and walk out. But then I think, when we're old, I should be the one sitting next to you. And that makes it hard to decide."
Ji Hye-in kept going like this as she tipped back her soju, unburdening herself of everything she'd been holding in.
"When did my wife get so good at holding her liquor? Back in the day, two glasses of beer and her face would go red. She'd get all embarrassed. Time really flies. Feels like just yesterday Pil-jun was born and crawling around. Next year he'll already be a senior in high school."
Yoo Kang-soo ordered another bottle of soju and cracked the cap on the second as he spoke.
"Look here, Yoo Kang-soo. You're the only one who looks down on me. Wherever I go, nobody sees me as a woman with a son that old."
"I know that. You look young. You're pretty. I'll give you that. You take care of yourself — aging gracefully. But that doesn't mean going out with other men in a skirt that barely covers your ass, hitting hostess bars and singing karaoke. That doesn't sit right with me."
"Come on. We were drinking nicely and you have to drag the mood down again. Do whatever you want. If you want a divorce, I'll stamp the papers. When we're old and I'm not by your side, you'll feel it then — viscerally — whether it's me who suffers or you. And as for Pil-jun, even if we divorce, I can take care of him just fine. I decided I won't use him as an excuse. Anyway, even if we split up, it won't really affect him much."
Now that his wife was coming at him even harder, Yoo Kang-soo was slightly taken aback. At first she had sworn she would rather die than get divorced. Now she was showing an attitude that didn't seem particularly afraid of it at all.
But that didn't mean Yoo Kang-soo was the type to be intimidated. When it came to guts and nerve, he was second to none.
Truth be told, the moment he had confirmed on video that she had slept with another man, the game was already over. If this were a lawless age, Yeom Seong-bong would have had his head taken off with an axe the second that coupling was confirmed. That was what sat in Yoo Kang-soo's heart.
The problem was what to do with his wife. Even in a lawless age, he thought, he would have given her a pass once — in recognition of everything she had done over the years.
Two bottles of soju sat empty. Yoo Kang-soo twisted the cap off a third. Across from him, his wife scooped up a spoonful of spicy fish stew broth and tipped back her glass once more.
Yoo Kang-soo talked about work for a while, then explained what had happened with Managing Director Park. Ji Hye-in seemed quite shocked by what she heard.
"You didn't know? That Ko Dong-seok used a dirty trick like that?"
"I... I didn't know. But there's no proof the director actually did that, is there?"
"Is that so. Then how did Managing Director Park know I'd beaten someone? Did he read it in the paper?"
"I... I see. Then what's going to happen to you?"
"What, like I've got nowhere else to go if not there? The managing director tried to throw his weight around, so I came down on him hard. He tucked his tail between his legs completely. I may not have money, but I've got plenty of guts. I never bow down to bastards like that."
His wife's expression had grown considerably darker.
"I... I see. But if you move somewhere else, wouldn't it be hard for you to adjust? When you first started at the insurance company, you couldn't even rest properly. You went through so much. Just grit your teeth and stay. Once they renew your contract, I mean."
"Who knows. There's still half a year left until year's end. I'm not going to worry about it in advance. Truth is, we're not going to starve. I'm still young, and I'll get a pension until I die, even if it's small. There are so many people running insurance scams out there that people with my kind of experience get snapped up by other companies. I'm not particularly worried."
"And I'll say this now, so it's out in the open. If we get divorced, I heard you have a claim on the pension too. I don't know about the rest, but I'll acknowledge that. What did we have when we got married? We really started out with nothing but a pair of spoons. The fact that we even managed to get a place to live — after your mother passed, we both worked, and you worked so damn hard. That contribution is huge. If we get divorced, I'll make sure you get your share."
Ji Hye-in said nothing in response.
"If you'd just accept me. If you'd forgive me for cheating by accident, we'd never have to get divorced. I'll spend my whole life by your side, taking care of you. I've never once thought about divorce. That's why I hate that man so much — Yeom Seong-bong. If it weren't for him..."
Her words trailed off.
Yoo Kang-soo spoke again.
"If that guy hadn't told me, you would have just kept living that life I knew nothing about. It's not Yeom Seong-bong's fault. Hye-in. You did wrong too. I wish you'd admit that."
At her husband's words, Ji Hye-in could not say anything at all.
The two of them cracked open yet another bottle of soju.
Her tongue thickening, Ji Hye-in opened her mouth again.
"I don't want a divorce either. Who in this world lives without making mistakes? Everyone does. Anyone. Covering them up, forgiving — that's how people should live. If you kick everyone out for making a mistake, if you cut them off — then what would become of this world?"
Her voice was quite slurred now.
"I know I'm saying this because I'm drunk. Just accept me as I am. That's all it would take. Then later, when we're old — even when you've become a complete old man — I'd stay by your side and devote my whole life to you. It would be so nice if we could grow old together like that. Why do you keep creating these strange situations that keep me from doing that? Don't do that. I want to be by your side."
Yoo Kang-soo had never been that kind of man. Things were either this or that — black or white, yes or no. But when it came to his wife Ji Hye-in, he truly could not get a handle on anything, and he was now clearly acknowledging that to himself.
Whether it was from all the soju or all the water he had been drinking, he kept needing to piss. He went to the bathroom and came back into the raw-fish restaurant to find his wife sitting alone, picking listlessly at her glass.
Then he saw it. At a table a little ways off, two men in their fifties were drinking — and glancing at his wife's legs.
Ji Hye-in had come out in a comfortable dress she wore around the house. The hem fell well below the knee; it was not a revealing outfit. And yet, sitting with her legs crossed, her thighs were fully exposed. The dress had ridden up quite a bit.
It was strange. Unless someone had pulled it up, no matter how much you crossed your legs, a dress riding that far up the thigh made no sense. He turned it over in his mind and still could not make it add up.
Yoo Kang-soo cleared his throat and walked back to the table. The two men in their fifties took one look at his imposing build and hard, weathered face and immediately found somewhere else to put their eyes.
And when he watched more closely, his wife seemed to tug the hem of her dress back down as she uncrossed her legs.
Yoo Kang-soo tilted his head. Once you started to suspect, was there really any bottom to it?
Maybe it was nothing. Maybe he was making a mountain out of a molehill. He let out a short sigh. Perhaps the truly strange thing was not his wife at all, but the woman he had created in his own imagination. Even that thought crossed his mind, courtesy of the alcohol.
He just wanted to forgive it all. And truly, just as his wife had said, he wanted to hold her hand tight and grow old beside her — the two of them, side by side.