My Story with My Wife, Part 2
“I think I want to stop the fertility treatments… Would that be okay?”
“Uh… what?”
I had no idea how to answer something I’d never expected to hear. The treatment hadn’t been something I’d wanted in the first place; I’d only gone along with it because my wife had wanted it. And lately, every time we went through another round, her nerves got so sharp that even I’d started feeling the strain.
“Honestly, it’s just been too hard, and I feel so bad toward you, Oppa… I keep wondering if it’s all right to give up.”
“Ah, it’s fine. We can just live happily together. It’s not like we have to have a kid. I’m not even all that crazy about children, to be honest.”
“It’s just… everything feels like it’s because of me. I feel so guilty toward you, so I kept trying, but it’s been really hard. Even the doctor said fertility treatment itself isn’t easy, and I kept hanging on because I couldn’t let go of the regret, but I guess if it won’t work, it just won’t work.”
“Don’t worry about me. Do whatever feels best for you. I really am fine.”
Honestly, I just wanted to have a blast screwing you, travel around, and live a good life.
That was what I really thought inside.
I had never been desperate for a child, and being unable to have proper sex because of the treatments was frustrating in its own way. As for the cost, once or twice would have been manageable, but after the third round, it had become a real burden.
“Oppa, could you ask Jung-hoon Oppa for some vacation time? I want to go on the trips I’ve missed out on.”
“Sure, I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry about it. Just figure out where you want to go.”
“Okay… sorry, Oppa.”
“Don’t say sorry. I’m really fine as long as I have you.”
Holding my wife’s hand tightly, I felt a wave of relief that she hadn’t caught me with porn again.
There was a little part of me that had hoped the alcohol might lead somewhere that night, but she had been too drunk and too tired from the drinking to do anything but pass out. Watching her sleep, I had no choice but to comfort myself with porn again.
When I told Jung-hoon, my boss and friend, he said So-hee must have had a rough time of it and that there wasn’t much going on for the time being, so I should just take the vacation. Aside from all the back-and-forth to the hospital for the fertility treatment, I hadn’t taken real time off in ages, so for once I was able to enjoy a trip with my wife.
Even during that long-awaited sex, all she allowed was penetration. She didn’t give or receive any other kind of foreplay, and the trip ended after a couple of dry, matter-of-fact encounters like that.
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“Haa… if So-hee would just be like that, how nice would that be?”
Like any other day, I was in the computer room with my headset on, watching porn and taking care of myself.
On the screen, a Japanese AV actress was sucking a man’s cock, and a moment later, when the scene shifted to sex and she made a heated expression, I was overlaying my wife’s face onto hers as I watched.
“Haa… seriously.”
My wife slept so much that once ten o’clock passed, she’d already start getting drowsy, and by around eleven she’d be asleep. Once she was out, she almost never woke up, so I could watch porn without worrying too much.
Of course, the bedroom and the computer room were a fair distance apart, and because of the layout, if she opened the door, she’d see the back of my monitor and then my face, which meant that even if I were jerking off, there was little chance of getting caught.
Unless she sprinted over right away to check, I’d have enough time to react between the moment she appeared at the door and the moment I made it back to my seat. Since she almost never woke once she fell asleep, and because even when she did wake up in the middle of the night while I was gaming or watching a movie she usually just lay there and texted me first instead of coming to check, I didn’t worry much.
So my porn time always began the moment my wife fell asleep.
As anyone would, if you keep watching porn long enough, you start out looking at pretty actresses, then gradually you begin downloading the genres that hit your personal triggers.
At first, I’d simply comfort myself by looking at naked bodies of pretty women, but as time went on and my dissatisfaction with my wife grew, I drifted into corruption-themed stuff about wives being ruined.
Then, recently, I’d fallen hard for the growing netorase genre.
I watched so much porn, and I projected onto my wife so often, that I no longer felt any resistance to the idea of her having sex with someone else.
I just wanted her to become more active in bed, more eager about sex, and if I couldn’t make that happen myself, then I wanted someone else to do it for me.
But I absolutely could not accept losing her altogether.
In a lot of AV, wives ended up sleeping with another man and then falling for him, while the husband could only cry pathetically at the end. At first that was incredibly stimulating, and I’d masturbate while imagining my wife in the actress’s place, but what I wanted was only for her to become more aroused, more proactive. Losing her or breaking up with her was never something I wanted.
Then, while watching porn recently, I began to nurse one dream in particular.
I wanted to see my wife surrounded by several men, sucking them off and getting fucked as she writhed in heat, begging me to take her too.
Not just looking aroused, but imagining her being gangbanged made me cum several times in a short span.
Just picturing my wife being taken one after another, surrounded by men and filled with cum, was enough to make my body shudder with a thrill I couldn’t compare to anything else.
Even in the once-or-twice-a-month sex we had, if I imagined another man caressing her while I was inside her, making her take his cock in her mouth, I’d finish almost immediately. The urge to actually try it became harder and harder to resist.
But realistically, I knew that in our country it was not something that would ever happen, and a wife as dry and restrained in bed as mine would never writhe the way the AV actresses on my monitor did, hungering for cock. That kind of thing belonged only to fantasy.
And yet I could never have imagined that something from a place I’d never thought to look would completely transform the ordinary rhythm of our lives.
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“Oppa~”
After staying up late the night before and cumming twice while watching porn, I was sleeping in late on a weekend morning.
“Mm? What time is it?”
“After ten. What were you doing that you passed out so hard? Gaming?”
“Huh? Yeah… it’s been a while.”
“Ugh, get up soon. My sister and brother-in-law are coming over later.”
“Jin-hee? Why?”
“I told you a few days ago. We said we’d get together and eat this weekend.”
Only then did I remember that my wife’s older sister and her husband had mentioned getting lunch together that weekend.
“Oh, when are they coming?”
“A little after twelve. They said they wanted to eat out.”
“Ah, okay.”
Thinking I still had time, I flopped back down and rolled around on the bed.
My wife’s older sister, who was three years older than her, had been my junior in college.
It had been thanks to her introduction that I’d met my wife in the first place, and because she was so beautiful and had such a great figure, she’d been popular since university—our department’s very own sweetheart.
At least she was only one year ahead of me, so we hadn’t had much time in school together, which meant I never really had the chance to look at her and think anything indecent.
She entered as a freshman, and not long after, I took leave and went into the military. By the time I came back, she was already in her senior year preparing to graduate, so we never had much chance to get close.
I knew she was famous, pretty, and wildly popular, so I’d greeted her whenever we crossed paths, but that was all.
At the time I was seeing another woman anyway, so I had even less reason to pay attention to my sister-in-law.
By the time I graduated and got a job, the memory of her had already started to fade until we met again at the same company.
By chance, I ended up seeing her again as a senior at work. We weren’t in the same department, but she still looked after me because I was her senior from college, and we ate together and got along well.
Back then, she was already a married woman, so there was no room for any romantic feelings at all.
She was simply someone I knew at the company, which kept me from feeling lonely, and every now and then we’d drink coffee together and bond over trash-talking our bosses like comrades.
Then, one day, I happened to see her eating with my wife when my wife came by the company, and that was how my wife and I first met.
Because my sister-in-law had been the department queen bee even back in school, her younger sister was beautiful too.
My first impression of my wife was simply that she glowed.
Even though she resembled her older sister, she gave off a completely different feeling. My sister-in-law had just been an attractive junior woman to me, but my wife then seemed almost angelic.
From that point on, I asked my sister-in-law for my wife’s phone number, got introduced properly, and went after her with the same full-on aggression as every other man did.
I wasn’t bad-looking compared with other men either, so under my persistent courtship my wife gradually opened her heart to me, and after a year I succeeded in marrying her.
The two sisters were both unbelievably bright, but because their mother had died when they were young, their father had raised both daughters with tremendous hardship.
Maybe that was why the two sisters were so devoted to each other, always looking out for one another, calling often, and making time to meet.
My sister-in-law’s husband—my older brother-in-law, in other words—was three years older than me, and not only did he look like a proper man, he had a personality to match, easygoing and forceful in the best way.
At the first family meeting, I’d assumed he must have been a former athlete, but I was surprised to learn that he worked as a writer.
He had been writing for years, but had only recently made his debut as an author, and he wasn’t the kind of famous novelist whose books sold in huge numbers.
Still, his family was incredibly wealthy, so money was never an issue.
Because he was so easy to talk to and considerate of others, I never felt awkward around him. He really did feel like an older brother from the neighborhood, and unless it was a formal occasion, we were close enough that I just called him hyung.
I called my sister-in-law no differently, except that I used the term sister-in-law. In person, I just used her name.
We’d known each other since college, and I’d called her by name all through working life, so it wasn’t something that changed easily once we started meeting as family. I’d slipped up a few times even in front of my father-in-law, but he wasn’t a rigid man either, so he’d just laughed and told me to be careful only in more formal settings.
I also had cousins, but no biological brothers or sisters, so with my wife’s family I’d always felt completely at ease. Meeting them had never felt like a burden.