Seeing You Off
We walked, and walking did nothing to wear the awkwardness down. Not so long as she was hiding a secret from me—a secret that wasn't really a secret.
...My house. The complete opposite...
...I have to say it. Honestly...
Her house wasn't here. I already knew that. I just couldn't let on that I knew.
The truth is... I can hear what you're thinking...
I had no desire to blurt out some eighth-grade-syndrome line like that.
I didn't even want to.
So I had to pretend I didn't know. No matter how low she hung her head. No matter how her steps kept slowing.
Never.
...Home. How do I...
...Don't know the way. No wallet...
Little by little, storm clouds were gathering over her heart. Maybe that was why the shadow inside her hood felt darker than before—dark enough that one wrong step and rain might actually fall.
Suddenly, she stopped.
"......"
"W-why...?"
A tucked-away alley. Asphalt no one bothered to maintain, cigarette butts scattered wherever they'd been dropped, a bit of a hill, and at the end of it a vermilion sunset caught and held, gentle as a breath.
It didn't feel like rain. A storm, though—that felt entirely possible.
"I-is something wrong...?"
"......"
She drew her hood down deep. Then, with the sunset at her back, she looked down at me—no expression, no feeling on her at all—and very quietly, very slowly, started walking my way.
"Y-your house... th-this isn't the way, is it...?"
"......"
"Th-then... that way...?"
"......"
I backed away on instinct, talking just to fill the space. I couldn't see her eyes. I couldn't see her face. And for some reason her inner voice wasn't coming through clearly either.
...I was scared. Terrified.
Tall buildings walled the alley in, and there wasn't a single adult around to help. If she lunged at me now—if she came at me with those fangs—I was finished, no question about it—
Aaaagh?!
A crunch. A clattering crash.
"......"
"Agh... h-hey?! D-don't come any closer...!!"
"......"
"I said... stay... back..."
A crushed cola can rolled to a stop right in front of me. And right beside it, bent at the waist with a hand held out to me, was her—standing against the sunset, so the light seemed to pour off her. Once again she worked her way into my heart a little at a time, and my pulse came with her.
"...You okay...?"
"......"
"Th-this is nothing, okay?! It's nothing!"
I smacked her hand aside. I'd only missed a step and fallen. My backside hurt a little, and my arms and legs felt a bit scraped, but it wasn't anything that required taking someone's hand to get up. So I knocked it away. I could stand on my own.
"Geez... wh-who left something like this lying around?!"
"........"
I kicked the can with a clang. It was humiliating, and embarrassing, and it hurt, so I took it out on the can and threw a pointless fit. That seemed like the only way to cool, even a little, the heat climbing through me.
"........."
"S-stuff like this... belongs in the tr... trash..."
The can landed with a thud. I absolutely was not checking her reaction. There just happened to be a trash can near where it had flown. Sure, I'd walked a good twenty paces to get there... but that still counted as nearby. And while I was at it, I picked up some of the litter scattered around and tossed that in too.
"Wh-why are you—it's dirty, so go over there..."
"......"
"Ah! No, I don't mean you're dirty... the trash is... yeah, the trash is dirty..."
"......"
Somewhere along the way she'd come up beside me and started helping. Broken glass bottles, even. If she cut herself doing that, it'd be a real problem—her hands were so pale it'd show immediately, and the blood would be bright red—ugh. No. She was... she was a vampire. Why was I worrying about her? She'd just... handle it herself.
"......"
"...Give me that."
"......"
It wasn't that I was trying to help. The place to throw the bottles was near me, that was all. My palms were already scraped up anyway, so another little cut here wouldn't change anything. I'd just... put on one more bandage.
...Such. A kind kid...
"Hey! I didn't do it for you, okay?!"
"......?"
"......"
Ah.
I was screwed.
I shouldn't have answered.
"...I-I just... like cleaning, that's all..."
"......"
"A-anyway! You should hurry home. I'm... gonna head in and rest a bit too."
"......"
At that she glanced around, then drew a small notebook out from inside her hoodie. Someone must have been coming from off in the distance. She'd had a pretty voice, too.
Scratch, scratch... a staticky scribble, then tap, tap, tap. She wrote something, erased it, drummed the pen, went still. Wrote again. Erased again. After several rounds of that, she broke down completely.
.........
The inner voice that had been coming through turned to nothing but noise, like static had gotten into it. And then a red aura gathered around her and wound her up in it, like a skein of thread snarled past saving.
"A-are you... hurting somewhere...?"
"......"
"...Forget it, then."
"......"
I wrung out every bit of brain I had and every bit I didn't, even pulled in IQ from my future self, all of it. A moment later, one conclusion dropped into place.
...It's the money, isn't it...?
She'd never been through here before. Subway or bus, she had to take something, and I could walk her that far easily enough. But money? She'd lost her wallet. So...
"H-honestly... I'm kind of busy...?"
"......"
"I said it earlier, too... I-I've got studying to do... anyway! I've got a ton of stuff I have to do!!"
"......"
I dug my wallet out of my pants pocket. Inside was exactly 53,500 won—allowance I'd scraped together over months.
She said the opposite direction... so at least an hour from here... and that's by car...
I started to take out three thousand-won bills, then stopped. Enough for a bus, sure, but what if she got on the wrong one? What if she got lost again? She'd end up finding a police station on her own two feet, or sleeping on the street. Then she might blame me and burn with revenge, or her parents might come after me, and there was the Association or whatever it was, and ex... experiments...
"M-Mom told me to give you this?!!"
"......!!"
"I-it's allowance! Sh-she said... you... you're... p-pretty... so give it to you. ...Mom did."
"........"
I jammed five ten-thousand-won bills into her hoodie pocket. Hands touching felt like too much, and if I offered them properly she'd only refuse, so I just crammed the bills in as fast as I could. She looked from the pocket to me and back again, with the exact air of someone about to say ...huh? So I made an excuse that wasn't really an excuse.
"Uh... Mom gave it to you, so... y-you don't have to pay it back! It's literally... allowance... so..."
It was, of course, my allowance.
"W-well, bye! I'm... uh, heading in first..."
Maybe because it wasn't anything I usually did, heat rushed through my whole body. Less embarrassment, probably, than fear. With the setting sun behind her she looked like a painting, and I simply ran from that painting as fast as I could. We didn't share the same art style.
A hand closed tight around my sleeve.
"...Huh?"
"......"
"I-i-is it... not enough...?"
"......"
From behind, she had grabbed my sleeve out of nowhere, and the static only swelled, louder and louder. Even so she didn't say a word. She just stood there, perfectly still, holding on.
"........"
"Ah, th-this... eat this on the way, then..."
I scrabbled through my pants pocket. There was a snack in there, crushed to pieces—I was pretty sure I'd hidden it earlier so she wouldn't take it, and now it was basically powder, and I wasn't at all sure handing it over was the right call. But right now it felt like I had to give her something. Anything. Before that shrieking static blew my eardrums out.
"Nnnngh...?!"
"...Tha..."
She mumbled something small. I couldn't really hear it.
"......"
"Wh-what did you just say...?"
She let go of my sleeve, gentle as anything, and stepped back—one step, no, two. The red tangle of thread wound around her slowly came undone, and a faint voice reached me at last.
...you.
At the same time she yanked her hood strings tight, until she could barely see in front of her. Then she spun and ran. One fist clenched hard the whole way.
"...What did she say...?"
I really didn't know a thing. Showing up at someone else's house out of nowhere was one thing; now she'd just fled. And with my fifty thousand won.
"I mean, I did give it to her, but... hnn..."
Was it because she'd gone, or because the sun was sinking and the dark was settling in? The night air had started to bite, enough that staring at my emptied wallet snapped me wide awake.
"...Ah. My allowance..."
For some reason I suddenly disliked her. A little angry, a little scared, and a little... well. That, too.
Honestly, being friends with her seemed impossible.
The next day, I left for school early so I wouldn't run into her. She was already in the classroom, sitting there with the lights off.
...It was 7:20.
...He's here...
I hesitated near the back door, and she started rummaging through her hoodie pocket. I thought about turning right around and leaving.
But.
...I practiced. So...
...Can't. Mess up...
......?
Unlike yesterday, her inner voice kept coming through, and that froze me where I stood. I had no idea what she'd practiced, or what she wasn't allowed to get wrong. All I could do was watch her rise from her seat and come toward me, slowly.
"......"
Early morning, a corner of a classroom with the lights still out. Every step she took, the wooden floor creaked, like a scene from the horror movie I'd been forced to watch the night before. My legs kept inching backward on their own. One step from her, one step from me. Two steps from her, two from me. A game of tag that felt like it would never end—until I was the one who got caught.
My back hit something with a thud.
"Ugh...?!"
"......"
Pain. I'd backed into the lockers. She didn't stop. Both hands stayed buried in her hoodie pocket, fiddling with something, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Because she scared me.
"I-if you're gonna do it... don't make it hurt..."
"........?"
I'd have done the same. She knew the secret. She knew the weakness. She'd want me dealt with as fast as possible—that was why she'd found my house, why she'd been waiting since dawn. That was why she'd practiced, and why she couldn't afford a mistake. She couldn't leave evidence.
Another thud.
"A-aaaaagh...!!"
"What are you doing?"
"D-Daeho?!!"
"Hey. What are you doing? Get inside."
"She's blocking the way."
"Haaaaah..."
Daeho and Minseok had arrived just in time. Thank god. If it hadn't been them, I would've been done for.
...Too bad...
...It was. A chance...
No doubt about it. She'd been about to take care of me. Nothing else explained it. This pounding in my chest, this short breath—all of it was fear. She was a vampire. I had to keep being careful.
"Hey, Hyunwoo. You watch what I sent you yesterday?"
"No... I keep telling you to stop sending scary stuff..."
"This one's not scary. Just watch."
"I-I really don't think so..."
Minseok hit play. On the screen, a pitch-dark classroom, and a boy and a girl standing face to face. They talked like normal people, held hands, goofed around, even kissed each other on the cheek. Then the girl, as if something were still missing, shoved the boy's shoulder, and trudged toward him where he lay sprawled and defenseless across a desk—
A sickening crunch.
"Aaaagh?!!"
"Pfft. See? Told you he'd jump. Total chicken."
"How are you even scared of that?"
"H-how am I supposed to not be scared!!"
The instant the girl bit into the boy's neck, blood sprayed across the whole screen, and she didn't stop. She pinned the thrashing boy and forced the blood out of him until he couldn't move anymore.
"Wh-why would anyone even watch this..."
"Because it's occult?"
"Send it to Daeho... not to me..."
"He doesn't get scared of this stuff."
"What's scary about it? It's not like missing lunch twice."
"......"
On a normal day I wouldn't have startled like that. Ghosts, maybe, but something like this was at least watchable. Except—
...A horror movie. Is that what they're watching...?
...Blood. I think...
To me, that video had been real. If the guys had shown up any later, I might have been the one with a throat torn open. Even now, just looking at her made my heart hammer and my breath come short. I jerked my head the other way.
Never. Never... I can't be alone with her...
A little later. Break after first period.
...Now...
"M-Minseok!!"
"Yeah?"
"About that video earlier..."
"Hehehe, you've finally opened your eyes to the occult—"
Sorry, Minseok, but I had zero interest in the occult. I'd only lunged into conversation because she was starting to get up. So please, please stop talking. Paranormal phenomena this, dokkaebi that—my ears were going to bleed.
Break after second period. This time she turned toward me the instant the bell rang, so—
"D-Daeho!!"
"Huh?"
"What's... for lunch today...?"
"Let's see, going by the clock... pork cutlet, I think?"
"A-and tomorrow...?"
"Tomorrow? Curry rice."
"Th-the day after..."
I kept the conversation going without a single breath in between. She watched us for a long moment, then slowly turned her head the other way.
...Next. Break...
Sorry, but there wasn't going to be a next time. Halfway through third period I claimed a stomachache and fled to the bathroom. All I had to do was hold out until break was over.
"After fourth period it's lunch, so... if I just keep running... nothing'll happen, right...?"
But in the end, she caught me.
"......"
"......!!"
Right before the fourth-period bell, I hurried out of the bathroom and, glancing every which way, snuck toward the back door. She was standing in front of it.
"......"
"......?"
She didn't say a word, same as always. She only held out a small scrap of white paper, torn at the edges. That was all.
The bell chimed, bright and ordinary.
"All right, class is starting, so let's take our seats~"
"Y-yes..."
"......"
I tried to hand the paper back, but fourth period had already begun, so the two of us had no choice but to go to our seats. The Korean teacher launched straight into the lesson. I didn't hear a word of it. The little scrap clutched in my palm—stained here and there, crumpled soft—tickled something in my chest and set it racing, and slowly, where no one could see, I started to open it under the desk.
A rustle. In the corner of the paper as it eased open, one squiggle of terrible handwriting sat carved clear over crease after crease. I drew a breath and began on the rest.
It wasn't easy. The paper was faintly damp, and slipperier than I'd expected. I wiped my palm on my waistband.
I-I'm not even sweating... weird...
Anyway, that wasn't the point. What mattered was what was written inside.
I swallowed. The paper gave a thin, reluctant sound as it opened.
Let's talk.
"...Ah."
I'm in trouble.