Let's Walk Home Together
"Hyunwoo, did you wash your hands?"
"…Huh?"
"You go to the bathroom, you wash your hands, you little punk. That's disgusting."
"I—I didn't go to the bathroom…"
"Then how does a guy like you burn twenty minutes walking to the teachers' office and back?"
"……"
Whack. The homeroom teacher smacked me over the head with a stack of printouts. It didn't really hurt, but it was humiliating all the same.
And every single one of them was watching…
…Because of me. Did he get scolded…?
She slipped in quietly through the back door, her eyes on me. The sight of her made me a little angry.
It wasn't exactly her fault. It was just… we'd been late together, and I was the only one who got yelled at.
"Let's see. There's barely any class left anyway~ so study on your own, within reason. Pass these to the back."
"Yes~~!!"
"…Your voices only get loud at times like this, huh?"
The papers fluttered as the homeroom teacher handed a parent notice down each row, and I passed mine back.
She did the same.
…There I go again.
I kept sneaking glances at her without meaning to. I couldn't help it. I'd learned a secret like that… and acting like I didn't care would've been even weirder. That was all. Really.
"Teacher, this isn't even homeroom."
"Hey, you little punk. The sooner you all clear out, the easier my life gets~"
"Is a homeroom teacher allowed to say that?"
"A homeroom teacher is allowed to say that~"
I thought it every time. How was a slacker like that even a teacher? He looked like the type to pound drinks outside a convenience store… This school really was strange. Her, and me both.
…Name. Don't know…
……
…Dopey. Chestnut…
I turned my head just a fraction and found one sharp pair of eyes glaring straight at me. I immediately buried my face in the notice.
The words Club Activities stared back.
"You can stick with the club you joined last year, or make a new one, or join one — up to you. But if you can help it, just keep doing what you were already doing~ Don't make more work for me."
"Teacher, can I do two?"
"…Minseok, do you happen to have two bodies?"
"It all goes on our student records. I've got to look after my grades."
"Well… you can, but… don't overdo it."
The clubs were more or less the same as last year. Soccer, basketball, badminton, tennis, band, art, English conversation… and the rest.
Nothing looked particularly fun.
Well. There was one. But that one was always packed, so the odds of actually getting in were zero.
"…Still, maybe I should at least try?"
"What, Hyunwoo, you're going for that one too?"
"Yeah."
"I mean, the board game club really is heaven."
We had to join a club either way, so if I could, I wanted it to be something fun. Or something I could do with my friends.
"Mmm… but what do I do if I don't get in?"
"Play badminton with Daeho."
"Ugh, I don't wanna do anything athletic…"
"That's why you're not getting any taller, man."
"I—I'm not even that short!"
"Uh-huh. Four-eleven."
"……"
It wasn't that I was short. Daeho and Minseok were just tall for our age. And we were only in our second year of middle school, growth plates still open… I'd shoot up any day now.
…Probably.
…Than me. Four inches…
……
…Tiny. Chestnut…
……
I wanted to argue with her right then and there. Look her straight in the eye and tell her I was still growing, that I'd be past five-three before I knew it.
I wanted to say it with my head held high, but…
"Hey. You like her?"
"Wh… what?"
"You've been staring, so I figured."
"I—it's not… it's not like that, okay?!"
"…If it's not, then it's not. Why are you yelling?"
"……"
Daeho, you don't get it. She's actually a vampire. She was drinking blood just a little while ago, and those fangs… they're insanely sharp.
Like her? How am I supposed to like her?
…Scared of her, maybe.
"Daeho, Hyunwoo's never had a girlfriend in his life. We should cut him some slack."
"Hmm. Fair."
"I—I could if I wanted, you know…?"
"Then go ahead. Ask her to join a club with you."
"…What?"
Minseok tipped his head — chin propped in his palm — toward her, where she sat staring blankly down at the notice.
"H-her…? No… there are plenty of other kids… why does it have to be her…"
"Chicken?"
"……"
The chair rattled back as I stood. You think I can't? It's just asking her to do a club together. Yeah. That's all it is, right? I'm not asking anything weird. I'm not asking to trade numbers. Just… a club. Together.
"Um… I… uh…… s-so……"
"……"
"No, i-it's nothing else, it's just……"
"……"
Thump. Thump. My heart was pounding like it meant to tear itself apart. The weight of my friends' eyes on my back, the chatter of the rest of the class — all of it bleached out and vanished, until the only thing left was that pounding in my chest, closing in on me. Like it would burst with a pop if anyone so much as touched it.
…A confession. Is it…?
"A c-club!!!! You wanna join a club together?!!"
"……?"
"……"
The instant I heard the word confession, I shouted before I could stop myself.
And just like that, the classroom went dead silent. My heartbeat… loud enough to circle in my ears…
Whack.
"Kid. This is class. Class time."
"Ugh…"
"Go sit down. Quit bothering Seol."
"I—I wasn't bothering her…"
"…Really?"
"……"
I hadn't confessed. I hadn't hit anyone. I hadn't cursed. I'd just… just asked if she wanted to do a club together. So a nod should have been the obvious answer—
She shook her head. No.
Whack!
"Sit. Down. Now!"
"Agh?! I—I'm seriously not—…"
…This time. Your fault…
……
She tugged her hood down low and turned her face away. Even so, the class didn't take their eyes off us for a long while.
Not until the period ended. The whole time.
"What's going on with those two?"
"Are they even close?"
"No way. Are they dat—…"
Th-that's not it! Absolutely not…! Yelling had been my fault, fine, but I hadn't confessed, and we weren't dating. And I definitely hadn't been bothering her. I'd really just been trying to ask. Really. Not a single lie in it.
…All of a sudden, it felt unfair. And it was all their fault.
"Pfft. That's actually hilarious."
"…Don't laugh."
"A c-club!!! You wanna do a club together!!!!"
"I said knock it off!!"
I lunged and smacked Daeho a few times, desks clattering. It still didn't cool me off, so I turned the glare on Minseok. Minseok just polished his glasses with his cloth and pretended he had no idea what I was looking at.
…He's worse. Honestly.
"Enough. Everyone, open your books. We're moving on."
"Aw, come on~!!"
"Teacher! We didn't even do anything!"
"Uuuugh…"
"A-ahem…"
"We are so dead…"
Under the kids' stinging stares, we looked at the homeroom teacher, begging him with our eyes not to actually move on with the lesson. He cocked his head. Come here and rub his shoulders.
So we kneaded the homeroom teacher's shoulders until break. Until our hands went stiff and ached.
"Why are they serving this again? Seriously."
"What, the ox-blood hangover soup isn't good?"
"It's not… inedible."
"Ugh… It tastes too much like blood. I can't eat it."
Minseok frowned down at his tray. The other kids were about the same — some of them didn't even touch it. They just threw it out.
I wasn't one of them, of course. I didn't love it, but I didn't particularly hate it either.
But.
…Seonji. Tastes good…
……
…Slowly. Chew well…
……
She was sitting in a tucked-away corner of the cafeteria. The light barely reached it, and the spot was worn enough that the other kids didn't even come near. Because of that she looked comfortable — but to my eyes, it didn't seem that way at all.
"…She looks uncomfortable."
Every spoonful, she glanced around. She opened her mouth as little as she could, and even then she ate with her palm half covering it. If anyone came close, she froze mid-motion.
…Is he. Watching me…?
……
…I'm. Self-conscious…
……
Her gaze pointed straight ahead. The kid hesitating, meanwhile, was a good thirty feet off to the side, sneaking glances at her from over there. Like he wanted to say something.
…This is. Normal, though…
……
…Why didn't. He know…?
…!
For one instant, our eyes met. I shoved my face into the tray.
Straight into the ox-blood soup.
"No way it's that good."
"Minseok. This is what an adult palate tastes like."
"…Then I'll just never grow up."
"Mmph…?!"
"Hey, is this kid about to puke…?"
A sudden metallic reek shot up my nose. It had never been this bad. Today, of all days, it was unbearably foul — foul enough that nausea climbed up from somewhere deep inside.
"Huuuurgh—"
"Hey, hey, hey! Are you insane!!"
"…See? This is why they shouldn't serve stuff like this for lunch."
I didn't know why. Or maybe there didn't need to be a reason. I just… wasn't going to be able to eat seonji anymore, starting today. Like the headaches that kept coming back. It had simply turned out that way. No reason at all.
"Haaaa……"
"Ugh. Hey, you okay?"
"Hang on. I'll get someone."
A small commotion in the middle of lunch. It settled quickly.
The rainbow I'd splattered across my tray went into the slop bucket. The nutritionist looked at me with worried eyes, I told her I was fine, and I walked out of the cafeteria. That was the end of it. That was all.
"Hey, you hitting the snack bar?"
"Have to. I didn't even get to eat."
"Hyunwoo, you?"
"I'm… good… I'll just watch…"
"Cool. Say something if you're hungry."
We'd just started trudging toward the snack bar when she came out behind us. She shot me a quiet sidelong glare… and walked right on past.
…Suspicious…
……
Nothing else happened after that. We stopped by the snack bar, went back to the classroom, sat through class. Now and then she flicked me a little glare, and I did my best to pretend I hadn't noticed.
And then, before I knew it, it was homeroom.
"Well. Nothing unusual, right?"
"Yes~~!!"
"Then don't cause any trouble. Go home quietly and sleep."
"Hey, PC café! Let's go, PC café!!"
The moment the homeroom teacher finished, Daeho shot up out of his seat. The teacher caught him by the scruff of the neck.
"Daeho. Stay."
"…Ah."
"Heh. Knew it."
"Minseok, you too."
"…Ah."
And with that, the two of them were stuck on classroom cleaning, which left me walking home alone. Bored out of my mind.
Tap, tap.
"…Yeah?"
Someone tapped my shoulder from behind. Not Daeho. Not Minseok. Not the homeroom teacher. Something… really delicate…
"?!!"
"……"
"Uh… um… wh-what… why……?"
"……"
The girl who never had an expression on her face. The girl who always walked home alone… had stopped me. From the circle of her arms she drew a small white notebook and wrote, the pen scratching softly. Not with her voice. In writing.
Home. Go together.
"……"
Just in case, I looked around. She might have been talking to someone who wasn't me. But… there was no one. Not unless she was speaking to empty air.
"M-me……?"
"……"
When I managed to fumble the words out, she moved her hand, slowly, so she could answer me. Scratch, scratch, once more.
Yeah. You.
"……"
Friends walking home together is a normal thing. Classmates, too. And she… still falls inside the bounds of normal.
But.
…Home. Have to know…
Whatever this was between us, it felt like it had already left normal a long way behind.