Tangled Threads (2)
♪ Bam-ba-ba-bam-bam-bam! ♪
Ladies and gentlemen! Or gentlemen and ladies! Did you miss me? It's your one and only idol — the Administrator!
"Kyaa!"
"Oh my god!"
"Tch...!"
Right on schedule the moment May arrived — that goddamn Administrator was back.
Fuck. Even hearing it again, that grating voice scraped against my eardrums like nails on a chalkboard. At this rate my ears were going to start bleeding. Son of a bitch!
Oohhh... You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment just to talk with all of you! Ah, I say "talk," but of course there's absolutely no way for any of you to actually speak back to me! Heheh! Still, isn't it kind of thrilling knowing that some all-powerful someone is calling out to you in a big loud voice on a regular schedule? I'm thrilled! Every time the announced date draws near, I spend an absolutely enormous amount of time agonizing over how to surprise people even more and make them cheer with joy—
Ah, for fuck's sake!
I clapped both palms over my ears on pure reflex. I couldn't stand listening to another second of it.
But you know what? Here I am, pouring my heart and soul into looking after all of you and trying to roll out all kinds of colorful content, and then some Administrator of the same rank as me starts acting like an audit commissioner, picking at this and that — fix this, fix that, is that even okay, if that goes wrong can you even explain it to upper management — treating me like some kind of superior! Honestly! How great does he think he is? We're on the same damn salary, and he goes strutting around with his shoulders puffed up just because he's doing a little audit work. It's absolutely ridiculous—
Of course, covering my ears did absolutely nothing.
Wow. This is genuinely fucking unbearable. He won't get to the point — he's just dumping his personal grievances like some guy whining to a bartender.
What? An audit? Some other Administrator is giving him shit while he's also an Administrator? What the hell am I supposed to do about that! Who asked! I genuinely could not care less, so please just get to the damn point!
Did I ramble too much with my complaining? Sorry about that, everyone! There's just been so much sabotage coming from every direction lately. Honestly... But no matter how hard things get for me! As long as all of you are out there living each day to the fullest! I can keep going. The results you create by surviving give me strength. Thank you, everyone!
Thank us? Then how about dying for us instead? I mean that sincerely. You goddamn Administrator bastard!
Alright then, shall we move on to the highlight? Today is May 1st, 202X, Earth time! Exactly one month has passed since the apocalypse began! And so, right here, right now... I present to you some fascinating statistical data. Would you look up at the sky for me? Ta-da!
...Present what?
I glanced at the ceiling for a second before realizing how stupid that was. He said the sky. I hurried over to the window behind the office desk, yanked the curtains aside, and looked up.
654,092,854
What the hell is that number?
654,092,812
Huh. The last digits just dropped a little. What is this? What kind of number is it? Is he projecting some mathematical sequence formula I don't know onto the sky? I'm not a STEM guy — I have no idea! I've been keeping math at arm's length ever since high school!
Unlike me, Kim Seyeon and Yun Mina beside me seemed to grasp it instantly.
"Oh my... good heavens..."
"Wow... that's what I think it is, right? Seyeon unnie?"
No, what is it? Don't just share a moment between the two of you — tell me too!
Of course, the answer came not from them but from the insufferable bastard who'd plastered the number across the sky in the first place.
One full month since the end began! Through countless crises, more than six hundred and fifty million of you are still alive! Woooow, clap clap clap! All hail your stubborn will to live! Our upper management expected the survivor count to stay at less than half of this... no, honestly, they figured it'd settle around a few tens of millions. This incredible number is a result you created yourselves. Woooo! Clap clap clap clap...
Watching that Administrator clap for us all by himself, the three of us in that room almost certainly shared the exact same thought.
Psychopathic mass-murdering son of a bitch.
I remembered the world population being estimated at around eight billion. I'd stumbled across it on some wiki a while back. That was only two or three years ago, so a month ago it wouldn't have been much different.
Meaning if that psychopath Administrator's number was accurate, he was proudly bragging about personally slaughtering over seven billion people on a whim.
I'd completely forgotten...!
No matter how strong I became, that strength only applied to the monsters roaming the Earth. Even if I wiped every last monster and zombie off the planet, standing against those cosmic-horror-tier beings calling themselves "Administrators" was a pipe dream.
They were the ones who'd handed out this "special" system in the first place. If they got bored, they could just snatch it back with a cheerful Did you have fun? and that would be that.
Thank you so much for surviving this hard and producing such outstanding results! And on that note, let me make you a firm promise right here. I'll stake my life on it! The system granted to you will never, ever disappear from your bodies for as long as you live. No matter what situation arises from this point forward! Let me say it again! I stake my life on it! This statement is permanently logged in our database, so it's the real deal, okay?
The second the thought crossed my mind, the bastard tossed us an insurance policy.
Hah... I didn't know whether to be happy about this or not. Being told they wouldn't take the system away was welcome enough, but the fact that it was a reward for so many of us surviving left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"That's a relief, Jeong Hoon-ssi. I was worried they might start poking at your system if they decided it had a defect."
"Same here. If Orabeoni gets weaker, we're all finished."
Kim Seyeon and Yun Mina stepped in close on either side of me, as if offering congratulations.
Ooh — flowers in both hands! Wings on both sides! A mature beauty and a little devil! My mood was soaring! Not that a single muscle in my face moved, of course!
"I appreciate it, but for now, let us hear the rest of what the Administrator has to say."
"Yes!"
"Of course, Orabeoni!"
For the moment, there was nothing to do but listen to the bastard through to the end.
Well then... at last, I'll deliver the update news you've all been waiting for! ♪ Ba-ba-ba-bam! ♪
That self-provided fanfare... pure concentrated loathing. Disgust was practically geysering out of me. Fuck!
First update! Just as I told you before! The Dungeon System has been introduced! In every region that once formed a kind of "nation," dungeons will be generated based on the remaining population and capital cities. Starting tomorrow! Clear one within the time limit and you'll be rewarded with experience, gold, and special items scaled to the number of people who clear it!
Ah. So it was finally happening.
An update I'd had some interest in had arrived. No — it felt like rain after a long drought.
Experience, gold, and items. Perfect timing. I'd been fretting over the limits of the quest system. The Thief Guild's quests weren't nearly as efficient as I'd hoped — even if they were only E-rank.
"Experience, gold, items..."
Beside me, Kim Seyeon had already pulled out a notebook and pen and was writing it down. I'd wondered if that was really necessary... until the next thing the Administrator blathered made me understand exactly why.
Dungeons are structured like mazes! Countless monsters and boss monsters will be waiting for you inside! Ah, and don't worry — monsters from inside a dungeon will never leave it! Once a dungeon is generated, detailed location info will be displayed to all players within a 100-kilometer radius, so no need to stress!
The description felt a lot like the "instance dungeons" you saw in MMORPGs all the time.
That was a relief. You know the type — the trolls who'd pull monster aggro inside a dungeon, run outside, and dump a swarm of monsters on everyone else, causing a massacre.
So then, where exactly will the dungeons appear? Ahem ahem — I'll only say this once, so listen carefully? We'll start with the former North America region! In the former Canada region—
And just like that, the Administrator launched into an interminable rundown of every single region where a dungeon would spawn. Canada, the United States, Mexico, Costa Rica, and on and on... He listed them in such exhaustive detail that I started wondering how long it would take to even reach Korea.
"Hmm. We won't be heading to North America anytime soon, will we?"
"Seyeon unnie... it'd be impossible for at least ten years, don't you think? Whether we'll even still be alive is questionable."
Mina's snide tone was definitely annoying, but she wasn't wrong.
—And that covers North America. Next up is the Asia region! First of all... oh my, good heavens! The former China region really got massacred, didn't it! What on earth happened there and in the former India region? So many people in both places have passed on! At this rate I can only place a tiny handful of dungeons across all that vast land! Honestly! Anyway, I'll go ahead and list them. In the Beijing region of former China—
I'd been wondering which places had taken the heaviest losses with the population down to 650 million — and of course it was China and India. The US region alone had gotten something like thirty dungeons, as I recalled.
But this bastard slaughtered tens of billions of people himself and now he's talking like he's scolding someone else? I was already in a foul mood! One of these days I am going to kill that son of a bitch. I swear it!
That concludes the former China region. Next up is... the former Republic of Korea region, which I'm sure a certain someone has been eagerly awaiting!
Finally... here it was.
Kim Seyeon raised her pen again. Yun Mina's ears visibly perked up.
I swallowed hard and focused on every word the Administrator said.
The Republic of Korea region is... good heavens! How did so many people survive in such a tiny little country split in two! Looks like I'll have to generate almost as many dungeons as I did for the US! Anyway... the former North Korea region only gets one. A dungeon will spawn in the area once called Pyongyang! The fact that any survivors are alive there at all is basically a miracle!
What? There were survivors in the North Korea region?
That was genuinely surprising news. Maybe people who were already used to going hungry found a ruined world weirdly familiar?
Next is the former South Korea region! Now then! Here... I'll have to arrange the dungeons in a way that might put a certain someone in a bit of a bind? Hohoho...
A certain... someone? Who was he talking about?
Surely not me? What could possibly put me in a bind? It's not like I attract that much attention—
One in the area once called Gangnam in Seoul! And one in the area once called Gangbuk! I'll place a total of two in Seoul alone! Truth is, the survivor count here... dropped dramatically thanks to a certain Area Boss who's been running wild up in Gangbuk! But! Since a certain someone would clearly be put out by that! I went ahead and placed two!
So he was sniping at me. You son of a bitch!
Just because I put two in Seoul, does that mean no dungeons will spawn where you live? Don't you worry! A truly stubborn number of people survived across the former South Korea region! Next up is the Gyeonggi-do region!
The words "Gyeonggi-do region" made every nerve in my ears stand on end. Was XX-si XX-gu going to get selected just because it had enough population? Kim Seyeon's pen paused mid-stroke — she must have been thinking the same thing.
Gyeonggi-do gets dungeons in YY-si, DD-si, and NN-si. Ah, you there! People of XX-si XX-gu! You were tense thinking a dungeon might spawn in your area, weren't you? Tsk, tsk! Even so, I can't go handing out yet another benefit to a place that already got a sweet deal like a Clean Zone, can I? Just be satisfied with taking down that Field Boss. Heh-hehng!
Heh-hehng, my ass!
"How very considerate of him."
"It really is."
"He's so considerate I want to beat him senseless if he ever shows his face. I mean it."
Mina was saying something truly admirable!
—And one dungeon will also spawn in the Jeju Island region! If there's a sudden earthquake and lava starts pouring out of a mountain? Just assume a dungeon has appeared! Alright, that covers the former Republic of Korea region~
The moment the Korea update wrapped up, Seyeon, Mina, and I gathered around the office desk.
We pulled out the map we'd recovered from the basement of the National Assembly Building and spread it across the desk. One by one, we marked every dungeon location written in the notebook onto that enormous map.
The result... two in Seoul, four in Gyeonggi-do, none in Gangwon-do, one in Chungcheong-do, one in Jeolla-do, two in Gyeongsang-do, and finally one on Jeju Island. A total of eleven dungeons had appeared across South Korea.
"I don't know whether having none in Gangwon-do is unfortunate or a blessing. That place is nothing but mountains... ugh, so loud..."
Even while we talked, that bastard Administrator was still blasting locations of dungeons in other regions at eardrum-shattering volume. He'd just moved on to Europe. And he was still loud as hell!
Doing our best to ignore him, the three of us kept our eyes on the map and continued the conversation.
"We should clear the Gangnam region first. As for Gangbuk..."
"I'm not sure we can even get there."
Wherever the Gangbuk dungeon ended up, even knowing the location wouldn't make an immediate clear possible.
Not until we crushed that goddamn Area Boss, the Vampire Lord. We wouldn't even get a look at the dungeon before then.
The Gangnam dungeon, on the other hand, was better cleared sooner rather than later. Hesitating for this reason or that would only cause problems. For the clear team, our core members alone should be enough.
Well, we'd figure that out once the dungeons actually appeared.
And with that, I'll wrap up the first update. The update takes effect starting tomorrow! Same goes for the second update I announced earlier!
Hm? Second update? What had he announced again?
I dug through my memory. The dungeons I remembered clearly, but when had he mentioned the other one?
A great many of you spent a lot of time tapping away at that shiny new feature before, didn't you? That's right — it's the Message System update! We'd like to thank Jeong Hoon-nim, who personally sacrificed himself so that so many of you could enjoy this system's features! Woooo, clap clap clap!
Ah. That.
"I never volunteered."
"Pfft... sorry, Jeong Hoon-ssi."
"Ah, you mean the message system?"
But you see! We really put a lot of thought into this! After we opened the message system for everyone to try last time, we ran countless reviews based on that data! In conclusion, we determined this system had a high likelihood of severely breaking the balance. What balance, you ask? Don't ask. It's a balance you don't need to worry about just yet!
Huh. So they weren't just going to hand it over freely?
I'd gone through hell for it personally, but I'd still figured the message system would be pretty useful. However they implemented it, once it was in, you could apply it to everything from hunting to every other kind of activity.
That Administrator bastard... he'd spawn Area Bosses and all kinds of dungeons on a whim just to make people suffer more, but a genuinely useful, practical system like this he was going to withhold behind one excuse after another? After putting everyone through the wringer already!
Anyway, after a long discussion with upper management... and I mean a really long discussion! We decided to restrict this system so that messaging is only possible at the guild level! Once tomorrow's update hits, you'll understand exactly what that means! What's that? You there, survivor! You still don't have a guild? What have you been doing this whole time without joining one? Kya-ha-ha-ha!
Guild level? For a moment, Seo Hyejin's guild — Hope's Wings — flashed through my mind.
And that concludes the May update! Going forward through May, if any of you achieve some truly monumental feat... I'll come running right over to whisper my swee~t voice into your ears once again. Exciting, right?
"No."
"Pffft... Jeong Hoon-ssi, really!"
"So honest, Orabeoni."
Fuck... I couldn't hold it in and the reaction slipped right out of my mouth.
But honestly, who could blame me? Right? How was anyone supposed to put up with a bastard like that!
Until I deliver the next news... bye-bye, everyone! May you greet tomorrow morning's sun with gratitude!
Yeah, right. Get the hell out of here already!
Only then did the noise finally stop.
"...We've got a lot to discuss with the officers."
"Indeed. We should summon them all to the office."
"After we wash up! It's honestly gross if we don't, right? We finally have hot water and everything."
I couldn't argue with Yun Mina's suggestion.