Worship, or Jealousy
"Haa..."
I let out a long, heavy sigh.
Of all times — right when I needed to be deep in thought about how to solve every problem piling up around me...
Was I really going to have to face the consequences of Seo Hyejin's death all over again, and find a way to overcome them?
"Miju. Even if you resent me, I have nothing to say in my defense. No matter what excuse I might offer, the fact remains that I was the one who took Seo Hyejin's life."
"What are you talking about, Jeong Hoon?! Me and my guild members... the people who've suffered through everything alongside us — we absolutely do not think that! We don't hold any such thoughts at all!"
It had been a while since I'd seen Jung Miju pour her words out with such raw emotion.
"Jeong Hoon, you... you...! You've done so much for us that it's almost unreal! Saying you killed Hyejin unnie?! That was you saving her... saving her from unimaginable suffering! Resentment? I've never, ever felt anything so disgusting toward you! Always — always — I've only ever wondered how I could possibly repay everything you've done for us. No matter how hard I work, it never even comes close to half of what you've given us, and I've always felt so sorry..."
"..."
It was a confession that carried Jung Miju's true feelings.
But the reality that I couldn't simply accept those eyes looking up at me — eyes that held both reverence and the deep wounds of grief — filled me with nothing but sorrow.
"Thank you, Miju. For being honest with me. But... that speculation I mentioned earlier — about whether you might be throwing your life away recklessly... you didn't deny it, did you?"
"...Ah...!"
A crack split straight through Jung Miju's desperate expression.
I stood up abruptly from my seat as well.
"Miju. I know my own limits. I know it's impossible for me to cradle the wounds you've suffered, or heal the emptiness left by losing Seo Hyejin. I'm no psychoanalyst, no counselor — nothing of the sort. But at the very least, I can make sure you want for nothing material. I can reach out a hand so that you and your comrades don't die. So please... don't try to carry that pain alone. Let's protect this hard-won peaceful land together, and live. Without bracing yourselves for death."
Those words held, if only slightly, a piece of advice aimed at myself as well.
I pushed my chair in and carefully slid open the door to the private room. With my eyes fixed not on the frozen Jung Miju but on the outside, I moved only my lips.
"...You don't need to force yourself to come along to the survivors' shelter today. I can bring Jung Yun instead. But if you are coming, harden one resolve before you step outside."
Only then did I turn back to look at Jung Miju, still standing before the table.
I took in the sight of her, rigid, her expression frozen as if my words had struck her with tremendous force.
"The resolve to never throw your life away."
Without waiting for an answer, I left the room.
Jung Miju couldn't speak.
Jeong Hoon's speculation had been sharp — but at the same time, it wasn't perfect.
Jeong Hoon was still immature, and that was only natural. He was no psychological counselor, no medical expert. How could he possibly cradle the wounded hearts of others with perfect care?
And yet, without a doubt... he had healed the scars in Jung Miju's chest, and in the chests of her comrades.
By silently taking the lead and fighting monsters, by standing at the very front to resolve crisis after crisis for countless comrades, by striving to bring them peace.
"And that's why..."
Her comrades held feelings for him that bordered on worship.
"And that's why...!"
They also harbored jealousy — wondering why only he possessed such power, and they did not.
"And that's why I...!"
Because she did not have the same power as Jeong Hoon, because she could not share the same resolve...
She had sworn to herself that she would be of help to him, even if it meant offering up her own life.
"Even if I'm just a non-combatant who can't contribute any real strength..."
I — no... we — want to be your strength.
For you, who was wounded most deeply by losing Hyejin, who is surely suffering more than anyone else — you, the kindest and most tender-hearted person in this world. We want to be your strength.
The comrades at your side probably feel the same way.
That's why they whispered among themselves... and decided to exclude those foreign elements on their own.
And of course...
"We're the same, Jeong Hoon..."
In the luxurious private dining room, empty of anyone else, Jung Miju cast her words into the air.
"If that group of survivors turns out to be people who mean to cause you suffering...!"
Jung Miju remembered.
The displeased face of the woman who served as their leader — Juni.
That expression, so clearly filled with jealousy and ill will...!
"We'll bury them with our own hands... so they never get in your way!"
It was a resolve that needed no speaking aloud —
one shared deep within by every member of the Hope's Wings Guild.
Only the man for whom they would lay down their lives remained unaware of that resolve.
Perhaps forever.
May 11th.
2:30 in the afternoon.
After finishing lunch, I rode with my comrades in the van and returned once more to the warehouse.
Screeech!
I brought the van to a stop right in front of the warehouse and climbed out carrying a modest load of relief supplies.
Vrooom... screeech!
This time, we hadn't come with just one vehicle. A van carrying Jung Miju and some of the Hope's Wings Guild members pulled up near ours.
They climbed out as well, each holding relief supplies. Just as we were about to enter the warehouse, Park Seeun tapped me on the shoulder.
"Hoon-oppa, Sora unnie and I are gonna take a look around the area. Just in case."
"Got it. Watch out for anything coming down from the sky. Report immediately if you spot anything strange."
"Yes!"
Seeun promptly dragged Han Sora off and moved away from us.
Carrying the relief supplies, we entered the warehouse.
"Who's the— ah, Lord Jeong Hoon!"
"Lord Jeong Hoon is here!"
A rush of footsteps!
The celebrity survivors, who had been resting on sleeping bags (ones we'd provided) scattered around the corners of the warehouse, came flooding toward us. Everyone looked more lively than yesterday — a good rest had clearly done them well.
"Welcome, Lord Jeong Hoon. We've been waiting for you."
And among them, the woman with the most dazzling appearance approached us. It was Juni, the former idol who served as their de facto leader.
Her blonde hair, which by all rights should have gone dull and lifeless by now, still held a vibrant sheen as it fluttered lightly. She drew near and offered a polite greeting.
What brought me relief was that her expression, too, looked far better than yesterday. Unlike the day before, when worry had been etched into her face from frowning and the gravity of their situation, today she wore a more at-ease look.
I was glad. Rest really did have a powerful effect on calming a person's emotions.
"Has anything happened in the meantime?"
I asked after her well-being as I handed over the relief supplies. Juni answered with a smile far more relaxed than yesterday's lingering at the corners of her mouth.
"No. These past twelve hours have truly been... the first peaceful night we've had since this bizarre apocalypse began. Until now, the screams of monsters and the ones banging on the doors every night trying to break in meant we could never sleep deeply. Meeting a night this calm after so long... we're truly grateful. Lord Jeong Hoon."
She bowed her head deeply to me once more. It was unmistakably a gesture of sincere respect.
Right before we'd left last time, worried that flying monsters might approach the warehouse, Sora, Mina, and I had sniped down a number of the lesser ones. Perhaps because so many of their kind had been wiped out in the area, the flying monsters near the warehouse had visibly thinned out even on our drive over.
Well, Sora had also been shooting down every one she spotted along the way. With her level-ups, she'd become remarkably skilled at leaning out an open van window to loose her arrows.
"Has anyone else come looking for you? Asking to be let into the warehouse, or anything of that sort?"
I asked because of what Juni had told me yesterday — or rather, early that morning. Juni shook her head.
"Hmm... we were so exhausted we slept like the dead, so I can't say for certain... but I don't think so. Honestly, I've only been awake for about an hour myself, so I don't really know."
We'd blocked the warehouse doors and the roof windows by piling up unused junk from inside. Right now, Jung Miju and her guild members were holding them in place in real time, making improvements as they went. The hands of professionals really were something else. The barricades I'd thrown together haphazardly were being reinforced into something that could actually hold — solid and secure!
And Jung Miju too... good. Jang Seoju and her followers were stuck right to her side, offering help — or rather, never taking their watchful eyes off her.
Before leaving, I'd pulled aside the people in the guild most likely to follow my orders without complaint and given them advance instructions.
"Jang Seoju, come here a second."
"Ah, yes! God-Hoo— ahem, no! Lord Jeong Hoon!"
"Jung Miju — your guild leader. If she starts pushing herself too hard at that warehouse... meaning, if a tense situation comes up that requires improvisation, and she tries to sacrifice herself or recklessly charge ahead — you stop her. No exceptions. Understood?"
"Ah, yes!"
"If something goes down and you fail to stop her, and Miju gets badly hurt or dies... you're excommunicated. Got it?"
"H-huuuh...! Understood! Even if it costs me my life, I'll stop Miju unnie— Guild Leader Jung Miju from doing anything rash! For Lord Jeong Hoon!"
"No, I'm telling you to stop her from dying — why are you staking your own life on it? Just stick to her side as tightly as you can and make damn sure she doesn't do anything crazy. Got it?"
"Yes, yes! Even if they call me a stalker, I absolutely will...!"
"...Yeah, that should do it."
No matter how I looked at it, the only people in Hope's Wings who would follow my orders without a single complaint were Jang Seoju and her cronies. Having to place my trust in people like them was a somewhat lamentable reality.
"Hmm, I see. If you join the guild..."
"To be honest, even if you join the guild, I don't know whether you'll be able to enter the Sanctuary. But if you do join... you'll receive all the various benefits as guild members. At the very least, the administrators don't seem to distinguish—"
"O-Oppa!"
"Hoon-oppa!"
It was right in the middle of my careful conversation with Juni about joining Hope's Wings.
Through the door facing the Sanctuary I'd created, Sora and Seeun came bursting in, gasping for breath.
At that sudden intrusion, every gaze in the warehouse snapped toward the two of them — everyone except the Hope's Wings members busy with warehouse repairs.
The two of them rushed in and came straight to my side without preamble. Juni discreetly stepped back to make room, and the two of them competed to get right up in my face.
"What on earth is going on? You're so out of breath..."
"Huff, huff... it's...!"
"Something weird happened, and... we thought we had to report it...!"
The two of them really did look like they'd run the whole way without stopping to breathe. Their urgent demeanor sent a slow boil of unease rising through me.
What was it? Don't tell me those gas station people Seeun ran into yesterday had done something stupid?
"I-it's... not the gas station...! We were clearing out some of the flying monsters nearby when... Sora unnie said she saw people."
"People...?"
Not the gas station, then... but people. Survivors, she meant?
I pulled my gaze from Seeun and looked at Sora questioningly. Grasping my intent, Sora shook her head firmly.
"No, oppa. Th-they're not just regular survivors. That person — those people... they were Archers. There were several of them. Th-they were all watching from pretty far away... at least two kilometers from this warehouse... watching this place. Watching the warehouse where the survivors are staying! A-and that's not even all...!"
Two kilometers? Watching from that far out. That meant they had Archers on their side too, didn't it?
Seeun finished the thought that Sora couldn't complete while catching her breath.
"Sora unnie scanned as far as her vision could reach, and... she said some people were gathered at what looked like a pension, getting ready. How do I put it — like preparing for some kind of raid. Sora unnie said their movements looked like... they were getting ready to hit this place. That's why we ran back so fast. We thought we had to tell you, oppa."
...I carefully turned my gaze toward Juni.
Through that face, frozen cold and drained of all color...
I realized that yesterday's story — the bone-chilling obsession of the perpetrators who had tormented Juni's group for the past several weeks — was still far from over.