Even Now, They Still Call It Not Dating?
The moment I saw the app wasn’t working, I pulled the blanket over my head and shut my eyes tight. I must’ve lain down in some stupid position, because the muscles around my shoulder had knotted up, making it painfully obvious this wasn’t a dream. It was real.
"You drank, made a scene, and you still haven’t come to your senses."
I was talking to myself. Somehow I’d managed to get through it, but after drunk-dialing Si-a and rambling like a fool the other day, I’d gone and blacked out again after drinking more.
And so, trying to escape that ridiculous reality, I slipped into sleep.
When I opened my eyes after that, the sun had already been gone for ages. In the place where daylight had been, the moon was hanging on, weakly filling in for it.
Of all things, the damn full moon was blindingly bright, so the first thing that came back to me the moment I woke up was the clip I’d seen that morning.
"Ha, let’s just turn on the stream."
I couldn’t even imagine how much the viewers were going to mock me, but it wasn’t like I could just take the day off without warning. After setting up my computer exactly like usual and finishing the prep, I hit the start-stream button and stepped out for a second to get some water.
As expected, the viewers were already teasing me for getting drunk yesterday, calling me a lightweight. And of course they were imitating the aegyo I’d done last night.
"Cheeseburger aegyo is banned."
-?
-Ha ha
-Welcome, lightweight
-Why is the aegyo banned?
"Why’s it banned? Because I saw the clip!"
Because I’d seen that pile of garbage. I didn’t know why the hell it had so many views from a guy’s perspective, but the important thing was that I had watched it.
They had to know how hard it was for a man to watch himself doing manly aegyo—especially his own aegyo.
-?
-What is he talking about?
-Did he even watch the clip?
-What is he saying?
-Did he black out again?
-If he watched the clip, there’s no way he’d react like that
But the viewers were acting strange. Most of them were typing as if I was saying something insane, and some were even asking me back whether I’d actually watched the clip at all.
"Wasn’t it the number one hot clip by views for twenty-four hours?"
-Yeah, that one
-You still don’t know why it got so many views?
-Clearly he didn’t watch it
-Then how does he know it’s number one?
While the viewers and I were confusing each other, a donation came through.
"I watched until the part where I was doing aegyo, then I shut it off."
-Ah
-Yep, rough
-You lost half your day to that
-You really didn’t watch it lol
"Why? Is there more after that?"
-Watch it yourself
-Your punishment is watching your own aegyo again
-That’s punishment for us too
-Hazy was the one who messed up, so why do we all get punished?
-Shared blame, idiot. Shared blame
After the viewers kept throwing around vague nonsense and telling me to just watch the rest of it, I went back to Watch’s homepage and clicked the clip I’d seen around lunchtime.
Honestly, it was so revolting I could barely stand it, but according to the viewers, I only had to endure it for three more seconds, so I forced myself through my own aegyo section and kept going.
[Since Hazy showed us first, now Si-a has to do it!]
[Hazy Oppa~! Si-a wants a cheeseburger toooo! Two slices of cheeseyyy!]
[So good, our little cuties!]
[Ohhh, this booze is sweet. So sweet.]
What the hell was this. Was this actually real? In the clip, Si-a, drunk out of her mind, was copying what I’d said. No—”copied” wasn’t even enough to describe it.
She had pulled it off in a way that was so much cuter and more adorable than mine that there was no comparison. Maybe it was because she was drunk, but her tongue got tangled and the way she dragged out the sounds only made it twice as cute.
And that wasn’t all. After Killer Sniper-hyung and Red-hyung had their turn, looking pleased as punch at the sight, she kept leaking charm all over the place without even realizing it, going, “Cheese, cheese,” and “Cheese is so good!”
Then the clip ended. The moment I saw it trying to loop back from the beginning, my head snapped awake. Faster than I’d ever moved before, I hit the space bar and managed to stop the video.
"That was close."
-For real lol
-Almost had to watch the aegyo twice
-Guy aegyo really isn’t easy
-Yeah, it really isn’t
The viewers seemed to agree with me, reacting in the same way. If I’d actually been forced to watch it a second time, I couldn’t even imagine what kind of abuse I’d have gotten for it.
Huh. Would that have been better, actually? Either way, I still couldn’t believe what I’d just seen.
"But damn, our yeobo is adorable."
-Yeah, your wife, you bastard
-How did Luccia-nim-nim-nim end up doing a fake marriage stream with some loser like the boss…
-Seriously, Luccia is absurdly too good for him
-Didn’t think I’d ever hope the boss would be this happy
The later clips all had similar titles and backgrounds, so it looked like Si-a had gone on a drunk aegyo rampage yesterday.
"There’s more than this?"
-Yeah
-The rest of them are all Si-a aegyo
-The whole world is Luccia
-For real, the clip section is just packed full of Si-a aegyo
-But the front part of each one also has the boss doing aegyo
I wanted to see Si-a’s aegyo, sure, but that didn’t mean I wanted to keep watching my own over and over.
"Dormammu, we make a deal."
-?
-What deal?
-What nonsense is he on about now?
"I just caught a glimpse of chat saying each clip starts with my aegyo, right?"
-Yeah
-You read that fast
-But so what?
"I’ll lower the minimum donation amount for video submissions, so gather the good parts into a Dragon Ball set for me."
Honestly, you all don’t want to keep watching my aegyo either.
Before I’d even finished speaking, one viewer sent in a video donation.
"Seriously?"
-Thank you, noble sir!
-Now that’s a real savior
-Is this going to be the Luccia aegyo gift set?
"I’ve lowered the amount to the minimum."
If I remembered right, this was the viewer who’d pretended to ban me and then given me a ten-minute chat timeout last time. The nickname was unusual enough to stick in my head.
While I was doing a quick Q&A with the viewers about what happened yesterday, a donation and several video submissions started rolling in one after another.
"Wow, there are a lot."
-How many is that?
-Did they just gather the good stuff?
-Did they only clip the front parts?
"There are six, for now."
With that, I turned on the first video.
[One plus one is a cutie! Two plus two is a cutie!]
Si-a was singing that famous cute song from YouTube, making hand gestures to show the numbers and even adding facial acting to it, looking like an actual angel.
[Don’t look away, Hazy is forever mine! Mine!]
And even while drunk, she had the quick wit to rewrite the lyrics on the fly. I started to wonder if she was really that drunk, but every now and then she’d slip and slur a sound, and that doubt would vanish completely.
And if she wasn’t drunk, so what? If anything, it deserved applause that she could pull off aegyo like that while sober.
Then the first video ended.
[It’s not that I’m pretending to be pretty, I was just born pretty!]
[And then people go around saying I’m acting pretty on purpose, and Si-a gets so upset!]
The second video was the same.
[I’m Magical Si-a-chan! The cutest, prettiest, most beautiful Magical Si-a in the whole world!]
[Jagiya, are you going to blush watching my cute aegyo? I want to show you some aegyo today!]
The third, the fourth—those too.
[Si-a wants cream puffs!]
Even the fifth video was just Si-a doing aegyo while drunk.
Her face was already flushed red from the alcohol, and the slightly muddled pronunciation made the aegyo hit with ridiculous force. It was enough to make me wish I’d seen this while I was drunk too.
"Honestly, my yeobo is incredible."
-You bastard, you need to pay double taxes now
-Seriously, fake marriage or not, I can’t handle this
-I’m sending your address, you lunatic
-These crazy bastards stay quiet while the videos are playing, then all rise up together and it’s hilarious lol
Wondering what the hell would happen when Si-a went live today, I played the last video.
[Haaah…]
-Oof
-There it is
-Did we just witness a legend?
-Noonaaaa
"Whoa, wait a sec."
She was drunk, yes, but this was different somehow. It was more like the tone of a sigh. If her voice had been high and bubbly during the aegyo parts, this one was lower, calmer, almost soothing.
Did Si-a even have a side like this? Now that I thought about it, you could only catch it at a very low probability in the videos uploaded to YouTube.
[Jagiya. You know what day it is today, right?]
"...Huh?"
-lol
-Aren’t you getting too into it?
-I answered too
-Then why the hell are you answering lol
Maybe because I was so overwhelmed by Si-a’s mood in the video, I ended up answering without thinking.
[Go wash up and wait. Got it?]
With that line and a wink, the video came to an end. Wait—was I about to get a nosebleed? I rubbed at the bridge of my nose, but no red came away.
"I already forgot all the aegyo before this."
-No way
-How could you forget that?
-That just means the impact was insane.
-Seriously, peak legend material
"I’m just saying."
Yeah. How could I forget it? How could I forget those adorable videos? I was just saying it like that.
But even so, the final clip had left a pretty serious impact. The YouTube comments called it her noona mode, but that wasn’t the important thing right now.
"Anyone know when my yeobo’s stream is going live?"
-No clue
-Her scheduled time’s already passed though
-Still no announcement either
-Is she really taking a day off because she’s cringing into her blanket right now?
-Honestly, that’d be fair lol
That seemed plausible. After leaving behind those kinds of videos while drunk yesterday, taking a day off felt justified.
Still, I couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed.
"I want to hear her do cheeseburger aegyo while sober."
-lol
-You think Si-a would do it?
-Is this guy actually insane lol
-You’d better be prepared to trade for it with your fake marriage
-Huh? Isn’t that a win?
What could I do? I’d just have to blame my garbage tolerance from yesterday’s drinking.
It was all my fault….
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