What Exactly Can You Even Do?
[Sorted by the Hazy-Luccia incident timeline]
1. During Luccia’s Watch event stream, a mission was set. Three people were chosen by lottery from all streamers, and Hazy, Yoon Red, and Killer Sniper won.
2. He ran into a hacker and won the whole thing with that famous potato meme.
3. The next day, Luccia did a collab with Hazy and her party members. At the end of the collab, though, Luccia told Hazy he could talk casually to her.
4. The day after that, Hazy said he’d explain everything and ended the stream.
5. The next day, he went live again and said he had signed with Element Agency and that they’d just decided to drop the formalities and get along like friends.
6. But then Luccia, who had seen Hazy in person, mentioned that he was her type.
7. Luccia immediately explained that she’d been joking, but the fire wouldn’t go out.
8. And now every internet broadcasting community was in this state.
“Where the hell is that bastard streamer? Seriously, I was in a good mood even at the start of today’s explanation stream.”
“They told her to explain, and she really just loosened the leash on her own life lololol.”
“LMAO, so true.”
“At this point, doesn’t that just mean he has several lives?”
“If Luccia’s willing to say he’s her type, just how handsome is this guy?”
“She said it was a joke.”
“You really think that was a joke?”
“This is a classic impossible choice, holy crap.”
“But if he had a face like that, wouldn’t he have turned on a cam ages ago?”
“So what was that stream-ending escape, then?”
“Judging by the way he talked, it sounds like he was going to end it normally, then sensed the killing intent and slammed the off button lololol.”
Thunk. I hurled my phone as far away from me as I could. There were more comments below, but if I kept reading, my mental state might not survive it. Even now, my head felt ready to split open. What? My type?
If I were Si-a’s type, would I still be a lifelong single…?
I flung myself onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, muttering under my breath. Viewers wouldn’t know, but I had to say it out loud or I’d choke on the unfairness.
If she’d said that because I was genuinely handsome, then at least it would’ve felt nice. But what was I supposed to do with this, coming from someone whose age and single life were basically the same length?
“Man, I shouldn’t have signed that contract.”
Regret came crashing over me like a wave. I should’ve just taken another day to think about it. Maybe then I wouldn’t have been able to do the explanation stream. The explanation was already handled by joining Element Agency, anyway.
But what good was an explanation if, after a fire had just barely been put out, you poured gasoline all over the embers and then dumped a pile of bone-dry firewood on top? At that point, nobody could tell whether you were trying to put the fire out or make it worse.
The more I thought about it, the more wronged I felt. Why was I the only one getting hit by this?
Still, there was nothing I could do. Frustrated, I opened the fridge and pulled out a green bottle.
*
This was bad. Forget control, forget anything else—I didn’t have the luxury of worrying about that anymore.
“No, seriously, why are you all running wild?”
-What, were we supposed to just sit here?
-So when are you two doing the fake wedding stream?
-For real, he must be insanely handsome. Anyone in showbiz look like him?
-So when are you two doing the fake wedding stream?
-Did he really have feelings or not?
The problem with me was that whenever something interesting happened, I couldn’t think about anything else. I just fixated on that one thing.
People had already been asking nonstop whether I was going to do a fake wedding stream, and I’d kept saying no. But then, out of nowhere, the fake wedding angle started looking real, and on top of that I’d gone and blurted out that I was his type. Of course they couldn’t keep it together.
“It’s really not like that.”
-Doesn’t look like it, though?
-Si-a, if you didn’t have feelings, how could you say something like that!
-Heh heh.
-I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel like I’m losing my mind.
-You two are really shaking all of Watch up by yourselves.
It looked like it would take a long time for the overall mood to cool down. What was I supposed to do about this?
While I was agonizing over it, a familiar notification sounded.
[New message from Hazy.]
Was he messaging me to yell at me? I opened it with a knot of tension in my chest.
What was with this message? Even the spelling was a mess. And since he didn’t seem to be trying to edit it, he must’ve just sent it without caring.
“Everyone, hold on. Just a second, I’m really going to turn off my mic for a moment.”
-Hurry up
-Where are you going?
-Who are you calling?
-If it’s work, that’s understandable lol
-Is it Hazy?
This chat is no longer visible because the user has been permanently blocked.
-Come back soon
Seeing the hidden chat reminded me that someone had apparently lost their temper and said something extreme, only to get kicked by the managers. Still, that wasn’t what mattered right now.
I turned off the mic for the stream and called Hazy. After a brief ring, he picked up.
“Hello?”
“...Hello.”
His voice was far more subdued than it had been all day. I didn’t need to think hard to know why. It was because of me.
“Are you really that angry?”
“...If you were going to call, you could’ve at least said something.”
At his words, I checked the stream deck. Instead of the broadcast mic, I’d apparently switched off the game mic and forgotten the other one.
I turned the game mic back on and said, “Ah—ah. Can you hear me?”
“...Yeah. Why am I the only one getting dragged through this?”
“Did you drink?”
“...No.”
Impossible. He’d definitely been drinking. How much had he had to down to send me a message like that?
No, before that—had I been too careless with him because I was so wrapped up in my own streaming greed? Come to think of it, we’d only just met.
“How much did you drink?”
“I didn’t drinkgg!”
“...Right. You didn’t drink. How many drink bottles are in front of you?”
“...One bottle. I’m gonna drink one more.”
So his limit must’ve been under one bottle. And from the way he was talking about drinking another one, I couldn’t tell whether he was still clear-headed or completely gone.
“So why am I the only one getting punished?”
Yesterday during the collab, today at the company, and earlier on stream—why was I the only one the viewers expected to explain everything to?
I had nothing to say to Hazy’s complaint. He wasn’t wrong. This was a situation I’d created out of my own greed. For the viewers watching it all unfold, and for me, it had been fun—but for Hazy, it might not have felt that way at all.
I’d ignored something we’d both agreed on and kept creating new situations on my own. Was Hazy just accommodating me? No, there was no need to overthink it. He had been accommodating me.
“...I’m sorry.”
“You were the one who said we should do the fake wedding. You were the one who asked me.”
“Yeah.”
“I get what you’re trying to do, but we had boundaries we agreed on together. You’re the one who keeps charging past them.”
“......”
“And I’m the one who has to take the fall for all of it.”
All I could do was apologize. I knew exactly how it felt when viewers were pushing you mercilessly, and because I understood that weight, I was even more careful now.
A long silence settled between us, broken only by the sound of a heavy sigh. After a moment, Hazy’s voice came again.
“I started streaming because of you, just like I said back then.”
“...Yeah.”
“So you’re my role model. In terms of broadcasting.”
“......”
“That’s why, even though it was awkward when I could speak casually to you, I was glad I could call you that way.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. When you told me in the booth earlier that I had broadcasting sense, it felt like being acknowledged by my idol, and honestly... I can’t even put into words how good that felt.”
But when I saw the viewers charging in like they were ready to tear me apart, eyes rolling back in their heads, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to throw everything away.
Hazy’s words made me reflect on myself. I guess I’d taken it too lightly. I must’ve treated it like nothing more than a piece of content. Even so, it was a project I was doing with another streamer.
“...I’m sorry.”
“Just... huff, promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“No speeding.”
If you’re the one who runs ahead first, I’m the one who has to deal with the viewers.
Hazy let out a long breath after saying it. He sounded very drunk.
In other words, had he been so stressed out that he’d drunk this much?
“Okay. I promise.”
“If you break it again, I’m going to start doing whatever I want too.”
“I promise. I won’t break it.”
“And let me ask you one thing.”
After a brief pause, Hazy spoke again.
“Am I really that handsome?”
We’d been having such a heavy, serious conversation that the sudden jump to my looks made all the tension drain out of me.
No, maybe I just felt relieved because this wasn’t a question about something I’d done wrong.
“Is that the question?”
“Yeah. I just wanted to know whether you meant it for the stream or not.”
“Yeah. You’re really handsome.”
“Then what about me being your type?”
Hmm. That one would take a little thinking.
At my hesitation, Hazy seemed to decide he’d gotten his answer and tried to hang up.
“No, wait. I’ll tell you.”
“Forget it. I’m not curious.”
“You’re really not curious?”
“......I am curious.”
I really was beyond saving. After getting called out like that, I should’ve behaved myself—but instead, I was still playing hard to get.
Still, we were just friends who had set the rules between us, right? So let me get away with it this once.
“I mixed in a little bit of stream banter.”
“Yeah, I figured as much...”
“But it wasn’t like there was zero personal feeling in it.”
“......”
Why wasn’t he saying anything? Had he passed out?
“Hazy, can you hear me?”
“...I, I’m going to sleep.”
With that, the call ended.
Even after getting scolded like that, I still couldn’t get my act together. I could feel it myself. Still, for once, I could honestly say I didn’t regret it.
“He’s cute. Makes me want to bite him.”
Tomorrow morning, when he sobered up, I’d contact him separately and apologize seriously. While I was at it, I’d meet him in person, reset the fake-wedding concept, and talk through the situation properly so I could keep things under control and match our chemistry. I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
Thinking that, I reached for the stream deck.... Huh?
Why are both mics on? I definitely turned off the broadcast mic earlier...
I’d turned off the game mic, thinking it was the broadcast mic. Then I’d turned the game mic back on...
Did I not turn off the broadcast mic...?
*
When I woke up in the morning, my head was pounding like it was about to split open. I remembered pulling out the green bottle, but after chugging about half of it, everything after that had gone blank.
My stomach was turning, and I felt like I should eat something, so I checked my phone. It was only eight in the morning. It always amazed me how I could wake up early only the day after drinking.
I got out of bed, thinking I’d at least boil some ramen.
“Ah, right. What am I supposed to do about that?”
What was I even supposed to say about bluntly cutting the stream? Damn it. Muttering that to myself, I went into Watch, wondering whether I’d accidentally caused any damage to Si-a’s stream, and found a clip with an absurd number of views.
Three hundred thousand views. The title had been cut off, so I couldn’t read it. Judging by the thumbnail showing Si-a, I knew for sure something had happened on yesterday’s stream... so I clicked it at once to check.
“Am I really that handsome?”
And the moment I heard my own voice, I shut the video off.
Guess I’d better go check the water temperature in the Han River. I wonder if it’s warm today.
---