Holding Back After the Sea Trip
After returning from the sea trip, I savored a peaceful summer vacation. Of course, it wasn't like previous years where I just messed around all day; I made a point of dedicating specific times to self-improvement. Especially during my peak morning focus hours. But I didn't push too hard—just one to two hours. I buckled down on English, which is perfect for solo study, starting with memorizing vocab and idioms.
This resolve during break was mostly thanks to my noonas' influence. Right after getting back, seeing them dive straight into prep for the English exam they'd signed up for ahead of time. Honestly, I'd seen the same last year, but it felt like watching from afar back then. Now that I'm dating Langi noona, it's like I'm right in the thick of it. She seemed way too incredible to just coast through life thoughtlessly. Pretty, smart, kind, sexy... okay, maybe skip that last one here. Anyway, while noona zeroed in on her back-to-back exams, I spent my days grinding solo.
That's when I ran into Seobin.
"Hard as fuck to even see your face."
"You were the same last year, ghosting everyone for Sena."
"Fair~"
Nothing special—just hadn't hung out much lately, so we met to catch up. We text constantly, but it's not the same as face-to-face.
"Kang Gyeol, you grab last month's Chainsaw Man?"
"Hell yeah. Plot went nuts."
"No spoilers. Lend it. Broke as shit, can't buy comics."
"It's an ebook."
"Gimme your ID."
"You insane...? Didn't I give you the ID and pw before?"
"Last year? Switched phones, all chats vaporized. Forgot."
"Such a pain. I'll send later."
"Thanks~"
Probably blowing cash on dates with Sena, he couldn't even afford a cafe, so we loitered at the nearby playground, bullshitting about everything. Slipping in some heavier stuff I was too chicken to ask outright.
"What'd you and Sena do the day before yesterday?"
"Y'know, the usual."
"Which is?"
"This fucker's fishing for ideas while pretending."
"If you know, spit it."
"Nada to spill. Met up, shopped, ate, wrecked Konosuba..."
"Damn, straight-up routine."
"Played big bro for Seoin, fed her dinner, then escape room with the three of us... Dropped Seoin home, Sena's place empty, so globalled."
"Ooh~"
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
"Wanna ask something? Just ask. No circling."
"That obvious?"
"Obvious as fuck."
Wasn't why I met him, but yeah, planned to probe. Sharp-ass Seobin clocked it instantly. I scratched my head, awkward, and plopped on the bench. He loomed over me, hands in pockets. Kids' laughter filled the playground behind.
"......"
Probably not kid-friendly... I mulled my words. Not a toss-away topic. Light if you treat it light, but dead serious if not.
"Uh... Harang noona, y'know."
"Yeah."
I eased in slow. "Feels like she wants to... y'know, with me."
"Sex?"
"......"
Crazy bastard? Stared up, dumbfounded; he scowled back.
"Knew you'd drag, so finish. What's weird about it."
"Sigh... yeah, that. But... not thinking yet."
"............You sterile or what, Winter?"
"Don't ask all sweet, asshole. No."
Snapped at his sudden niceness, then laid out why. Simple for the effort: Yeoreum noona's warning, and I wasn't ignoring it. Reason? Could fuck up our trio dynamic.
"...So holding till I'm legal... Too monk-mode? Total idiot?"
"Hmm."
Braced for shit-talk. She's serving it up, I'm passing—fair game. But Seobin got real, backing me up.
"Straight up, dating without banging? Sounds off."
"Right...?"
"But varies. If noona said zilch and you pulled some premarital purity crap, I'd roast you. But nah."
"Yeah."
"Makes sense. She's practically raised you—parents always gone, busy."
"True."
"Subbing for them? Normal. Parents might not micromanage sex, but besties? Yeah."
I listened quietly to hipster shut-in Min Seobin's wisdom. We bullshit 99%, but get deep when it counts—that's best-friend shit.
"Plus your girl's cool with it. Not fighting, fine. Tempted sometimes? Hold... hold... hmm."
"Why the unease? Spill."
"Eh, varies, but Sena snaps sometimes."
"......Uh."
Awkward peeking into their bedroom drama. He doesn't yap lightly about her. He hummed, then pressed on.
"Anyway, not idiot shit. Chill."
"Phew, good... but..."
"Or do foreplay, skip the main."
"Mulled that hard... Can you hold with everything else? Vet opinion."
"...Do jack shit."
"Knew it?"
"Yup."
Of course.
---
Chatted more, headed home. Couldn't do shit else—he's broke. Offered dinner; Sena's got it. Real one.
And yeah, whatever he said, I'd stick to my guns. Just venting anxiety. Felt lighter with his backup, but new worry brewed.
Always thought I'll hold, easy. But maybe she's grinding too? Hints but folds quick when soothed—assumed fine.
What if she's torn like me? Desire vs. Yeoreum noona promise.
Can't assume. Don't mind-read.
Pacing my room, stewing.
Rrring. Perfect—Harang noona calling.
"Hello? Noona! Exam good?"
─Yeah. Felt solid.
"Sweet~ Tough work! Free now? Head over?"
─Nah. Home today.
"Right, mentioned."
She'd warmed to home since officetel. Hated sticking around before.
"When free?"
─Day after. My place? Plan camping.
"Duh. Anything to pack?"
─Nope. Buy or dad's gear.
Clueless on camping, so nodded along.
Long call till she hit home. No real planning—just yapping. Her voice alone filled me up. Ended on arrival.
"Day after then, noona. Eat good."
─You too. Delivery?
"Nah. Yeoreum noona for dinner."
─Ok...
"Bye~ Love ya."
─Love you.
Click. Stared at silent phone. Brooding solo? Pointless. Not Seobin-tier. Gotta talk direct.
Alone time incoming. Somewhere quiet, fresh air, killer views—not here. Real talk on the future. No secrets, straight up.