Han Saebyeok (3)
Han No-eul, for her age, was perceptive and had grown up fast.
Their mother had fled without any intention of taking them with her. Their father was an alcoholic, beyond saving. The shouting and screaming had subsided, but he could still turn violent toward his children at any moment.
Han No-eul was young, but she felt the crushing responsibility of having to protect a sibling four years younger than her. Han Saebyeok had been a sickly kid from the start. Perhaps because of the home environment, she was timid, had trouble making friends, and always clung to her oppa like glue.
She must have unconsciously realized that her oppa was the only person in that house who loved her. Children are sensitive to emotions, and they instinctively seek out someone to protect them.
Paradoxically, Han No-eul needed Han Saebyeok just as much. It was a one-sided relationship where she gave all the help, but being called 'oppa' forced her to mature mentally. The siblings leaned on each other in place of their parents.
The Han siblings grew up resilient despite their harsh circumstances. The older sister cherished her younger sibling intensely, and the younger sibling followed her like a parent. Their father's condition only worsened as the years passed, but the children grew into teenagers.
And so came the winter when Han No-eul was 19, and Han Saebyeok was 15.
'Let's leave as soon as I graduate. I can at least raise Saebyeok. I should be able to send her to college.'
Han No-eul was secretly preparing to become independent, hiding it from their father. She planned to take Han Saebyeok and leave the house the moment she graduated.
She'd already mapped out the entire plan.
She was a model student at school and was already an intern favored by the company she'd joined through her vocational high school's job placement program. Her father had stolen the stipend money she'd received for his drinking and gambling, but with a confirmed job offer practically in hand, she was confident she could at least look after herself.
Once she graduated, she'd move into the company dormitory and live there with her sister.
It was right then, when a light was finally appearing at the end of that dark tunnel.
"Oppa! Oppa! Save me, please!"
She was returning home after work.
She heard Han Saebyeok's screaming.
"Saebyeok!"
She kicked the door open to a grotesque sight. For a split second, her mind couldn't comprehend what she was seeing.
The stench of alcohol so foul it stung her nose.
The dark, single-room apartment.
Han Saebyeok, half-stripped and struggling furiously, and their father, straddling her, trying to cover her mouth.
Something inside Han No-eul's head snapped clean in two at that moment. Her heart turned pitch-black.
Kudangtang! Peok! Peo-eok! Ppak!
Dull, heavy impacts rang out in a relentless flurry. Pleading screams begging for forgiveness, begging for life, erupted along with spurting blood. She was rail-thin from not eating properly, but her innate frame and youth were more than enough to inflict violence.
"Oppa! Stop, stop it! Oppa, don't! He's dying!"
"Heok, heok! Saebyeok, are you okay?"
Han No-eul's face was a mess as she asked the question. Splattered with blood, swollen and bruised. Beneath her, the man called her father lay crumpled on the floor, gasping and gurgling.
"S-scary, oppa. Stop, stop it...."
"...I'm sorry. Oppa scared you, didn't she? Saebyeok, are you hurt anywhere?"
Han No-eul pulled Han Saebyeok into her arms, worried. Having witnessed that explosion of violence, Han Saebyeok flinched for a moment in fear, but then hugged her oppa tight immediately. The love Han No-eul had shown her all this time couldn't be undone by a fleeting moment of fear.
In the meantime, the beast that had been writhing on the floor staggered up and fled. Han No-eul felt something black and viscous rising from the depths of her chest, but she forcefully ignored it and shut the front door.
She had no emotional energy to spare on a beast like that.
About three months left.
If she could just endure that much longer, she would move into the dorms the moment she graduated. She would never have to be entangled with that bastard again.
'No, even that's too late. I'll explain my situation and ask for help.'
If she was lucky, she might even be able to move into the dorms a little early. If that didn't work, she'd have to beg the police and leave the house anyway. She could not leave that animal and her sister in the same room.
Cheolkeok.
She locked every latch on the front door. She even slid the chain on, so he couldn't get in even with a key. When tomorrow came, she'd leave this house immediately.
Han No-eul cleaned up the mess, calmed Han Saebyeok down, and then smiled as gently as she could manage and asked.
"Saebyeok, did you eat?"
"No, not yet."
"I brought some beef. Let's eat together."
At those words, Han Saebyeok's downcast eyes flew wide open. Beef had that kind of power.
"R-really? Beef? Really?"
"Yeah. My boss at work bought it for me, said I was doing a good job."
Her department manager, who partly knew about her situation, had secretly slipped it to her during the company dinner.
"I've never had beef before!"
"I'll cook it for you, so eat a lot. Lots of rice, too."
When she scooped rice for only one person, Han Saebyeok asked with a puzzled look.
"What about you, oppa?"
"I stuffed myself at the company dinner. So don't worry about me."
The truth was, she'd barely eaten. She'd been worried about her sister home alone and had ducked out as soon as she saw a chance. The beef was what the manager had given her then, too.
She didn't know those details, but.
Han Saebyeok knew her oppa well. She was lying again.
"...Oppa, eat with me. It's no good eating alone."
"Haha, should I? Then I'll just have a little, since I'm so full."
Han No-eul beamed and stroked her sister's hair. Fifteen, soon to be sixteen. An age where kids can grow wild and rebellious, but her sister was still a gentle, kind child.
They finished their meal and got ready for bed. They shared one blanket, as always. There was no space for separate bedding in the cramped single room.
Lying there together. A feeble warmth lingered in the freezing room.
Out of the blue, Han Saebyeok called her name cautiously.
"Hey, oppa...."
"Hm?"
"What about Dad? He can't get in if we lock the door."
"...Don't worry about him. You don't need to think of a bastard like that as your father."
Her tone was cold enough to be frightening, but Han Saebyeok just nodded quietly.
"Okay...."
Han No-eul stared at the ceiling for a while, then sat up. She brushed her sister's hair back and spoke.
"Saebyeok, this might be sudden... but let's get out of here. Let's leave and just live together, you and me."
"J-just the two of us? Without Dad?"
"Yeah. You don't want to?"
"N-no! I want to!"
Han Saebyeok shot up as she answered. As if she could ever like her father. Especially when she'd nearly been violated by him just moments ago. She'd only pretended to be fine so she wouldn't worry her oppa. Her heart was still pounding.
"But where?"
"You know I'm working as an intern?"
"Yeah. That's why we ate so much meat this year. You said everyone likes you because you're good at your job."
"When I graduate, I'm going to get hired full-time at the company I'm at. Then I'll be assigned a dorm room. Let's move in there together."
"Really? I can come too?"
"Of course. You think I'd leave my Saebyeok behind?"
Han Saebyeok's face lit up. Living together with her oppa, without Dad. For a normal family, that might be cause for anxiety, but to Han Saebyeok, it was a dream come true.
"If we're lucky, we might be able to get in even sooner. I'll ask the company."
"I hope so! B-but what if you ask them and they take it the wrong way?"
"It'll be fine. Even if we can't get in right away, I think it's best we leave this house first. You trust your oppa, right?"
"Yeah. Of course I trust you."
"Haa, I only have Saebyeok, after all. Let's sleep now. You have school tomorrow."
"Hehe. I'm wide awake now, thanks to you, oppa."
"Hmph. Want to study, then? You've got exams soon, right?"
"Zzz...."
"You little."
Han No-eul chuckled softly, watching her sister pretend to sleep. The fake snoring was a protest against studying, but her sister's test scores were good. She was smart; if she worked hard, she could get into a decent college.
'I can't do everything others can for her, but at least I have to send her to college. Hmm, I can't let her be looked down on, so I should have some household goods prepared too when she marries... that son of a bitch, I'll fucking kill him.'
She drifted off to sleep, imagining the beating she'd give her future brother-in-law. Once things got better, she'd have to start working out. So she could beat the hell out of any bastard who messed with her sister....
It was a bitter winter. Even more so for the poor.
The only warmth they had to rely on was a worn-out cotton blanket and each other's body heat. That was why, every morning, Han No-eul would find her sister clinging to her like a cicada.
Tomorrow too, when she opened her eyes, she'd see her sister hugging her tight. And a soft smile would naturally spread across her lips. She'd want to look at her sister's sleeping face a little longer, but she'd wake her up just to hear her whining voice.
That was definitely how it should have been.
But for some reason, that night was unusually warm, and the unaccustomed warmth pulled them both into a deep, deep sleep.
"Son of a bitch. I fed you, raised you, and you beat up your own father? Fucking brats. Locked the door on me, too. Ungrateful... fucking hell...."
A sickening reek of alcohol.
The beast's eyes gleamed a jaundiced yellow.
*
Saebyeok Nuna looked at me—or rather, at someone just beyond me—and spoke.
"That night, my oppa died. Saving me."
"......."
"I woke up too late. Oppa told me to get up, but I...."
Her voice, filled with remorse, grew damp with tears.
Nuna touched her own shoulder. From the nape of her neck to her shoulder and collarbone, a thorn vine tattoo was etched into her skin. What those sharp thorn vines were hiding must be the burn scars she'd gotten that night.
"It was a hillside slum. The ambulance comes fast nowadays, but back then, it was too late. They took him to the hospital, but... they said it was too late."
"......."
"That bastard got caught immediately. He'll rot in jail for the rest of his life...."
While I listened to the story, I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I shouldn't have, either. It was far too heavy a subject for any clumsy attempt at understanding or sympathy.
Her mother's flight.
Her father's attempted rape.
And the death of her oppa, the only pillar she had.
This wasn't something I could begin to fathom just by listening to a story. Though something I'd heard once did come to mind.
'So that's why Nuna was afraid of men....'
I'd definitely heard something about that. At the time, her image as a scary person was so strong that I'd just let the remark slide.
Saebyeok Nuna's story continued.
She said that her father, that biological parent, was caught almost pathetically easily. He was already dead drunk and didn't even have the wits to run.
Being completely wasted was not grounds for a reduced sentence.
Han No-eul was dead, and Han Saebyeok was seriously injured. It was arson of an inhabited building, a clear-cut case of murder. On top of that, over a decade of child abuse by Han Jeong-seok came to light, and he was sentenced to life in prison.
After that, Saebyeok Nuna was placed in an orphanage. She said they contacted her mother for procedural reasons, but the woman apparently had no maternal instinct left. She didn't even show her face once, even after learning one of her children was dead.
It was a natural course that Saebyeok Nuna went astray after entering the orphanage. She couldn't even think about making friends. She just spent her time staring blankly into space like someone who'd lost their mind, or wandering the night streets alone.
The person she met then was Yoo Gahyeon.
'A mother figure.'
To Saebyeok Nuna, Gahyeon Nuna must have been no different from a mother. There was a reason she screamed and sobbed hysterically when she saw the scarlet ink burning. Back then, she'd fought so fiercely against me, even with that frail body of hers, trying desperately to push me away.
"Unni gave me the tattoo. Normally, they don't do them for minors... but she made an exception for me. I learned how to draw tattoos from her, too. I took my first client when I was 18."
"...You were still a minor, though?"
"The client saw me practicing and asked me first. Obviously, I didn't officially start working until I was twenty."
I remembered Nuna saying during a club meeting once that she had five years of tattooing experience this year. So she'd exaggerated a bit. Not a complete lie, though.
Before I knew it, the bar snacks were completely cleaned out. I'd eaten a few here and there while listening to her story. I didn't eat much, so it should be fine.
The whiskey bottle was bottoming out, too. I promised I wouldn't drink much, but... she'd gone and finished an entire bottle. I'd been so caught up listening to the heavy story that I hadn't been able to stop her.
Saebyeok Nuna poured the last glass and smiled bitterly.
"Isn't it funny?"
"?"
"I was so disgusted by my alcoholic father, and now... here I am, drowning myself in booze because life's hard."
"......."
It was certainly ironic. Logically speaking, she ought to be loath to even let a drop cross her lips.
But cases like this aren't as uncommon as you'd think. Children often end up resembling the worst parts of their parents. Sometimes, precisely because they hated it so viscerally, it becomes imprinted on them.
It might sound like an excuse, but these things aren't something you can fully control. You need someone by your side to help you through it.
I found myself watching the glass swirling absently in her hand, then reaching out without thinking.
Nuna, her glass stolen, turned to look at me with unfocused pupils.
"...What are you doing?"
"I wanted a glass, too."
Alcohol is forbidden when you're trying to get in shape, but one glass should be alright. Besides, I'd already eaten a few bites of the snacks anyway.
I downed the glass in one shot before she could take it back.
"Hoo. This is high proof, isn't it? How did you drink a whole bottle of this... Nuna?"
"......."
At some point, Saebyeok Nuna had planted her head on the table. Was her grip on consciousness finally gone now that the story was over?
"What am I supposed to do with this...."
I scratched my cheek with a troubled look, then started clearing the table. With all the snacks empty, that part would be easy at least.
Even when I'd finished all the dishes, Saebyeok Nuna was still asleep. She'd flopped right down onto the floor. There was no sign of her waking up.
I folded up the camping table and picked Saebyeok Nuna up in my arms.
'She's so light. Must be because she doesn't eat proper meals.'
How could someone so tall be this light? It made me feel an uninvited pang of pity for her.
I laid Nuna down on the bed and was just about to turn away. My body caught with a tug. Nuna had grabbed my wrist.
"......."
"Did you wake up?"
Saebyeok Nuna, who I'd thought was asleep, had her eyes open. She looked up at me and spoke.
"Don't go."
"...I mean, I really should be going now."
"I said, don't go."
Tears streamed down her face.
I stared at Nuna, completely thrown off. Wh-why is she suddenly crying?
Saebyeok Nuna tugged on my wrist, holding it tight, and spoke.
"Oppa, don't go. Sleep with me, together...."
"......."
I couldn't bring myself to shake off her hand.