Han Saebyeok
"Excuse me."
I gave a perfunctory greeting and followed Saebyeok Nuna inside.
A divided studio with a veranda.
It was an officetel, so it had a distinctly tidy feel.
'Different from Areum's or Hana's room.'
It was a minimalist space with no extraneous clutter. At a glance, it almost felt barren — if you didn't know better, you wouldn't have guessed it was a woman's room.
Nuna set up a folding table and spoke.
"Sit here. I'll at least get you a drink. Oh, you like zero, right?"
"Yes. Just water is fine if you don't have any."
"I have Coke Zero."
She even had the presence of mind to consider my diet. And since she was home now, her condition seemed slightly improved. Home does provide psychological security, after all.
I sat down, feeling a bit strange. Of all people, I'd ended up in Saebyeok Nuna's room. I never imagined this would happen.
Jjaenggeurang!
A sharp sound suddenly rang out.
I sprang up from my seat and headed to the kitchen. I saw shards of glass scattered across the floor.
"S-sorry. Startled you, didn't I? I dropped a cup......."
Saebyeok Nuna's hands were trembling as she said that. I'd thought she'd gotten at least a little better, but I guess not.
I stopped her from trying to clean the floor.
"I'll clean it up. Where's the vacuum?"
"Huh? No, I'll......."
"I'll do it. Go inside and rest."
"...Okay."
Saebyeok Nuna nodded, a rarely deflated look on her face.
I sent her back inside and cleaned up the glass fragments. I swept once with a broom, ran the vacuum, and then wiped the floor with a rag.
'Nuna's state is really unstable.'
She hadn't asked me to stay with her for nothing. Her condition was worse than I'd thought.
When I finished cleaning and returned to the room, Saebyeok Nuna was already changed into comfortable clothes. Seeing me, she apologized with an awkward expression.
"Sorry. Making you clean the moment you get here."
"It's fine. Don't worry about it."
"Sorry......."
Probably because her mental state was fragile, she kept repeating the word "sorry." I'd already heard it several times today—when she hadn't actually done anything wrong to me.
'Maybe it was because she usually seemed so strong... why is this so heart-wrenching...?'
It contrasted so much with her usual cynical demeanor that it made my heart ache even more. The fire at Scarlet Ink must have properly triggered her trauma. People with trauma can seem perfectly fine normally, then become this fragile in an instant.
"I'll bring you your cola."
"Watch your step. I cleaned up, but just in case."
"Okay. I'm wearing slippers."
So she had separate indoor slippers. Come to think of it, I tended to wear slippers at home too.
"Need ice?"
"No. It's fine... Nuna, is that alcohol?"
I asked, furrowing my brow. The hand not holding the cola clutched a bottle of whiskey.
"Um, I think it'd be better not to drink."
"......."
Averting her eyes, Saebyeok Nuna poured the liquor into a glass with round ice cubes. She was trying to drink even though she knew it wasn't a good idea.
I twitched my hand, thinking I should snatch it away, then let out a sigh. Even so, forcibly taking it would be overdoing it.
"Just drink a little."
"...I will."
Nuna slowly drank the whiskey on the rocks. Fortunately, her pace was slow — she didn't seem to be planning on drinking heavily.
...But isn't drinking without any snacks a bit much?
"Do you always drink without any food?"
"Only when I'm lazy."
"Your drinking habits are really bad."
"...Nagging."
Her lips jutted out in a pout. But the fact that she still couldn't meet my eyes was probably because she was the one who'd asked me to stay with her.
I clicked my tongue and got up from my seat. At that, Nuna flinched with a visibly flustered expression.
"Y-you're leaving? Sorry......."
"I'm not leaving. And quit saying sorry. It's really awkward when you keep doing that."
"......."
"No, don't make that face, I'm not mad......."
I was really racking up the rare experiences today. I never imagined this nuna would be so conscious of my reactions, or that I'd be nagging her this much.
"I'll whip up some simple snacks. You live alone, so you must have ingredients lying around, right?"
"Huh? No, well, they're probably all gone......."
I strode out to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Nuna followed me with a flustered face.
"...There's nothing here."
"I-I told you they were all gone. I don't need snacks......."
"Are they really gone? Looks more like you just don't cook. All the trash is delivery food too."
"Wha— you're even looking through my trash!?"
I let Nuna's words go in one ear and out the other and kept rummaging through the fridge.
"But you do have a lot of eggs. They're not spoiled, are they?"
"...I dunno."
"Tch. We'll find out when we crack them open. Oh, at least freezing the green onions in the freezer was a good call. No onions? Ah, there's a can of tuna. Leftovers? Wait, don't tell me this is your drinking snack?"
"......."
"Wow, I'd heard there were people who used canned tuna as a drinking snack, but this is my first time actually seeing it."
I roughly pulled out the ingredients and placed them on the counter. Still, with this much, I could put together a decent meal.
"......."
"What are you standing there blankly for? Go back inside."
"...You realize your tone has changed?"
Saebyeok Nuna said with a dissatisfied look, glaring at me.
But what could she do about it.
That nuna didn't feel particularly scary anymore.
I smirked and drizzled cooking oil into the pan.
"This is how I get once we're a little closer. Even in the club, I treated everyone like this except you."
If anything, the version of me that was excessively polite and an unconditional yes-man was the one wearing the mask. Just looking at how I treated Areum and that bastard Seong-hyeon made it clear I wasn't some purely nice guy. I had a tendency to be casual with people I was close to.
"Closer......?"
"Hm?"
"...Nothing."
"Go inside and rest. Oh, and don't drink too much before I bring the snacks out."
"I got it, okay. Anyone listening would think you were the oppa......."
Saebyeok Nuna grumbled something and went back inside.
'People really are different from the image you have of them from the outside.'
Where did the cool and chic nuna go?
'If this were an anime, people would've cursed it as character inconsistency. Or wait, would they have liked it as kuudere?'
Jigeul jigeul.
A delicious smell rose up.
*
The fridge had been practically empty, but surprisingly, the pantry and freezer had quite a few ingredients. When I searched thoroughly, things turned up one by one.
Tuna can, corn can, ham, sausages, cheese, sliced bread, and so on.
I could get a sense of Saebyeok Nuna's usual eating habits. Most were things that required no cooking — good for skipping proper meals or eating as snacks while drinking.
"Tsk tsk. She's going to ruin her health like this. Hmm, now that I think about it, I'm worried about Areum too."
Seora noona managed her own diet, and Ju Hana lived with her parents. But Areum... I couldn't picture that girl cooking for herself. She was already anxious as it was, and now with starting her streaming, she'd probably just get by on delivery food. I'd have to check on her later.
"I brought the snacks."
I set the food down on the table.
"...Did you go out?"
Saebyeok Nuna blinked as if she couldn't fathom it and asked.
"What are you talking about? Didn't you hear me clattering around in the kitchen?"
"No, I heard that. But how did you make all this? Were there ingredients...?"
"There were a ton of canned goods in the pantry. And a lot of leftover stuff stashed in the freezer. Like bacon and dumplings."
In 15 minutes, I'd made the following:
Bite-sized bacon cheese roll rice balls.
A tuna mayo rice bowl omelet with crushed gim-bugak sprinkled on top.
Corn cheese sausages with canned corn on the side.
A makeshift dumpling gratin using frozen dumplings and cheese.
Honestly, calling these "cooking" was a bit embarrassing. They were just things I'd thrown together by combining whatever ingredients were left.
"You said you like Steel, right?"
"Yes! I freaking love it!"
Oh, what's this? Was it time for some Steel chat? Come to think of it, this nuna had started watching Steel because of me.
I smiled brightly with the heart of a weeb for the first time in a while, and Nuna stared at the snacks with a serious expression and muttered.
"So that's why alchemy......?"
"?"
"Oh, never mind. Can I try them?"
"...Yes."
So we weren't doing Steel chat?
I sipped my Coke Zero, slightly disappointed.
*
"Is it edible?"
Having tasted each dish one by one, Saebyeok Nuna looked at me with an odd expression.
"It's good. You're a great cook."
"I just roughly mixed together whatever was there. Anyway, I'm glad it's tasty."
"Roughly......?"
She looked dumbfounded.
Was I being too humble? But it was true.
I scratched the corner of my eye sheepishly.
"My mother loves cooking. And my father is a picky eater too."
"Ah, so you learned from your mother?"
"That's right. Plus, I've always loved eating myself. Did you know I used to weigh well over 100kg? Originally fat guys are foodies... Ah, that was TMI, wasn't it?"
Idiot. Why did I bring up my father's picky eating?
I broke off with an awkward expression, and Saebyeok Nuna chuckled and shook her head.
"I can tell you're close with your family. You said they gave you permission for the tattoo too, right?"
"Yes. My mother was against it at first, but my father supported me. Honestly, he probably didn't like it either, but he said he hated seeing me struggle because of this even more."
I scratched at the cover sheet. My father had a conservative side. What must have been going through his mind when he allowed the tattoo? I was just grateful.
"I was able to go to college thanks to my parents too. A son who locked himself in his room for years probably should've seemed pathetic... but they trusted me and waited. They tried hard to treat me like a friend......."
Once family came up, pointless words started spilling out in a stream. Right after I'd just scolded myself for the TMI... I wasn't some little kid bragging about how amazing his mom and dad were. Jeez.
I smiled awkwardly and cut myself off again. Embarrassing, worried I'd come off like a mama's boy.
"I talked too much, didn't I?"
"No. It's nice, seeing a harmonious family. I'm envious."
Nuna took a sip of her drink and said with a soft smile. But somehow that smile felt bitter.
Unfortunately, that feeling wasn't my imagination.
"I don't have parents, you see. So, I have this sort of yearning for a harmonious family."
"......."
My breath caught in my throat.
My pupils shook, losing their bearing.
"Ah, uh, I'm sorry. For saying something unnecessary......."
"Huh? Oh, no. I just meant it looked nice. I mean, I don't have them in my life, but they're both alive, actually?"
"What? What do you mean...?"
It took only a very brief moment to regret asking what she meant.
Saebyeok Nuna pursed her lips with a troubled expression.
"Well, my mom ran away when I was young, and my biological father is in prison......."
"......?!"
I didn't need to look in a mirror to know. My face had either gone pale white or deathly dark. I'd stepped on a landmine.
The one who'd brought it up, Saebyeok Nuna herself, had an equally flustered face.
"Oh, no! That came out wrong."
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up family for no reason......"
"N-no, I'm the one who's sorry for saying something unnecessary. I wasn't trying to make things awkward. I think I'm more drunk than I thought......."
"I-it's okay."
"Thanks......."
"......."
"......."
Someone please save me.......