Scarlet Ink (3)
I followed Saebyeok Nuna into the workroom.
Kim Hyeong-jun was lying face down on the workbench, shirt off.
"Sit over there."
"...Okay."
Sitting in the chair, I stared blankly at Kim Hyeong-jun's back. My breath caught. Scars I knew all too well were carved into his skin.
Circular burn scars.
Cigarette marks arranged in the shape of the Big Dipper. In two clusters, even—one on the left, one on the right.
Wiiing-
The machine whirred.
Saebyeok Nuna, having finished the outline, began tattooing in earnest.
"Nngh......."
Kim Hyeong-jun bit down on his lip and groaned. Tattooing comes with pain. Seeing myself in him, I watched with concern.
Then our eyes met.
Kim Hyeong-jun smiled awkwardly and said,
"Today's on the less painful side, actually."
"It looks like it hurts a lot, though......."
"Haha, seriously. The arm hurt way more than the back. And the wrist hurt more than the arm."
"Ah......."
Only then did I notice the tattoo circling Kim Hyeong-jun's wrist.
A thorn vine wrapping around it like a bracelet.
He'd mentioned he was covering up scars. The wounds that must have been there originally were now perfectly concealed by the ink, but I could easily guess what lay beneath those thorn vines.
'A suicide attempt.......'
Kim Hyeong-jun had cut his wrists once. It was probably connected to the scars on his side he'd mentioned earlier, and the ones on his back being covered now.
Wiiiing-
Amidst the whirring of the machine, we talked in low voices.
"I heard you were like me, Cheol-jin-ssi."
"...Yeah."
"That's why I agreed to let you observe. Normally I'd have said no since I'm shy around strangers, but... when I heard someone in a similar situation was thinking about getting a tattoo, I agreed before I knew it."
"Ah, thank you."
After thanking him, I glanced back at Han Saebyeok. She was concentrating with such intensity, it was like she couldn't even hear us.
Kim Hyeong-jun—the same man who'd claimed he was shy around strangers—spoke to me.
"It's kind of fascinating. As you can see, I'm short and small-framed. So that's why certain things happened... you know."
"I was small back in the day, too. That's why I was always at the very front of the line."
"Heh. I'm jealous you at least grew later on. The muscles are impressive, too. You've obviously been hitting the gym hard."
"I worked out like crazy to lose weight. I was really fat. Lost over 40kg."
Saying it out loud, it hit me that I really had shed a lot. I was originally over 130kg, and now I'm barely 90kg.
Kim Hyeong-jun's eyes went wide.
"Whoa, total underdog story. Hearing that makes me want to work out too, you know?"
"Uh, if you do get interested, seriously, let me know. I'll recommend a gym. They've got a lot of skilled PTs there."
"Really? I'll genuinely think about it and hit you up. I'm always telling myself I should exercise, but getting started is never easy."
Shy around strangers, my ass. He didn't seem that way at all. Kim Hyeong-jun led the conversation warmly even with me, a total stranger. Even when I was just giving short answers, the conversation flowed naturally.
At one point, Kim Hyeong-jun held up his wrist and said,
"This tattoo—it looks natural, like a bracelet, right?"
"Ah, yeah. At a glance, I wouldn't have even known it was a tattoo."
"Saebyeok-ssem did this one too. Even though she's not that old, her skills are really incredible. Weeell... it still hurt, though."
"Do you regret it?"
The question slipped out before I could stop it.
Kim Hyeong-jun was visibly older than me. Probably late twenties or around thirty. Still, I was curious why he was getting a tattoo now, at this stage in his life.
At the sudden question,
Kim Hyeong-jun smiled wryly and looked at his own wrist.
"I regretted it. Regretted not getting it sooner."
"...Really?"
"To be honest, I used to have a negative view of tattoos. Honestly, when you see someone with a tattoo, you don't get a good impression, right? They just look like a delinquent, like some rough type."
"Well, yeah."
"But if I got a tattoo, other people would look at me and think the exact same thing. So I hesitated like hell."
He thought the same way I did. That was probably the general perception of tattoos.
The reason Kim Hyeong-jun ended up getting inked was this.
"One day this thought just hit me. It's already so agonizing when I look at myself... do I really have to care about other people's stares on top of that?"
"Ah......."
Those words hit me hard. Because they pierced right through my own dilemma.
"So, are you okay now?"
"Much more than before. It's not like I'm totally fine, but... still, showering has gotten a little easier."
"......."
When you shower, you can't help but look in the mirror. Even if you hate it, you end up checking the scars. Kim Hyeong-jun had the exact same struggle as me, right down to that detail.
"Cheol-jin-ssi, you think hard about it, too. I'm absolutely not telling you to get a tattoo no matter what. I just... wanted to let you know that there are people like me who ended up getting a bit better."
"...Thank you."
*
No matter how similar your circumstances, it's not easy to talk about this stuff to someone you've just met. In that sense, Kim Hyeong-jun was a good person. The kind of person I'd actually want to keep in touch with.
Around the time the session was wrapping up,
I was calling Kim Hyeong-jun "hyung."
"Good work, hyung."
"Thanks. It barely hurt today thanks to you. Saebyeok-ssem, good work to you too."
"Take good care of it so there's no trouble. Absolutely no drinking."
"Of course."
That was when we stepped out of the workroom.
There was a commotion in the lobby.
"We're seriously adults, okay?"
"Does this kid seriously look underage to you?!"
"Just get lost, brats."
A group of about four or five guys and girls were clustered together. The thing was, there wasn't a single head of black hair among them. Were they all foreigners? Yellow, white, red—a riot of colors.
'These guys look like bad news.'
As they say, it takes a loner to spot a bully. A silent warning light flickered on. Standing next to me, Hyeong-jun hyung also seemed to sense danger and pulled out his phone. Ready to call the cops if things went south.
Just then, Gahyeon Nuna let out a sigh and said,
"Do you kids know what kind of punishment you get for faking IDs? You can't fool this nuna. Leave while I'm asking nicely."
The guys and girls flinched at that.
But they didn't seem ready to back off easily and kept arguing.
"Ugh, can't you just do it? We'll pay you more, we said."
"First off, 'we said' is casual speech. Leave before I actually call the cops, brats."
Gahyeon Nuna waved her hand dismissively.
I watched the scene with an uneasy feeling. The only men in their right minds here were me and Hyeong-jun hyung.
Then the guy at the very front glanced back at the girls behind him and spat out a curse.
"Fuck, they're acting so goddamn stuck up."
"What was that? Did you just curse at me?"
Gahyeon Nuna's face twisted menacingly.
"You little shits, just because you're young, I tried talking nice......."
"What're you gonna do about it, bitch? Fucking tattoo artist acting so picky."
I felt like I couldn't just keep standing there watching. I took a small deep breath and stepped forward. Furrowing my brow to look as intimidating as possible.
"You guys, how about you stop making a scene and get going?"
The bleach-blond head spat out another "fuck" and turned to look at me.
"And who the hell... are you?"
But his attitude was different from when he'd addressed Gahyeon Nuna.
"Me? A close dongsaeng of the boss here."
"......."
"Let's not make a racket and just go our separate ways. You guys would be in more trouble too if the cops got called, right?"
Maybe my size intimidated him.
"Tch. I was gonna leave anyway. I wouldn't get one at this shit place either, fuck. Hey, let's go."
Following the bleach-blond head, the colorful heads all shuffled out. Only then did I relax my body and exhale in relief.
"Phewuuu."
I'd been scared they might try something. If I hit a minor, I'd be the only one who lost.
"Oooh, Cheol-jin, nice work. As expected, having a guy around makes you feel secure, huh?"
Gahyeon Nuna thumped me on the back. My heart was still pounding out of my chest, but this nuna's face was totally calm.
Calm wasn't the only thing.
Soon she scrunched up her face and spat out some heavy-duty cursing.
"No, but why the fuck did those motherfuckers spit on the floor and make a goddamn scene, what the fuck was that?"
It took a little while for Gahyeon Nuna's anger to subside.
*
I took the subway home with Saebyeok Nuna. It seemed she also lived on her own near the school.
We walked down the street side by side in silence. Back at the café, the nuna had talked actively so it was fine, but now it was awkward again.
Then Saebyeok Nuna suddenly spoke.
"Sorry."
"Huh? For what?"
Caught off guard by the sudden apology, I stopped walking. Nuna halted her steps and said,
"For what I said to the client earlier—talking about you without permission. I was trying to convince him, and I just... thought it'd be good for you to see firsthand how the process works."
"Ahh, that's fine. From what I heard, you only mentioned something similar happened to me, right?"
"That's true, but... still, I'm sorry."
"I told you, it's fine. Thanks to that, I got a new hyung out of it."
I'd exchanged numbers with Hyeong-jun hyung before we parted ways. He said he'd ask me for that gym recommendation once his tattoo healed.
"Well, that's good then."
The mood turned a lot more comfortable.
I smiled slightly and asked,
"Are you and Gahyeon Nuna the only ones working at the tattoo shop?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm. It's gotta be tough with just two women. Especially when stuff like earlier happens."
Saebyeok Nuna nodded and said,
"It happens from time to time. A surprising number of minors come by."
"Tch. Are there actually places that tattoo minors?"
"Cigarettes and booze find a way where there's a way. You think tattoos are any different?"
"Yeah, I guess so......."
Come to think of it, some of the guys who used to bully me back in the day had skulls, tigers, or dragon tattoos. Whether you'd call them tattoos or scribbles, they were crap, but anyway—kids barely in middle school were walking around with ink.
"Some of the really bad kids even do sex work in exchange for tattoos."
"...What? Are they insane?"
"They are insane. But the funny thing is, in most of those cases, it's the artist who propositions first. The kids are clean slates—no record, no money."
"So underage girls do that? Over a goddamn tattoo......."
"It's purely for showing off. Of course, we don't accept that on our end... but when you're in this line of work, you end up seeing just as many crazy bitches as you do crazy bastards."
"Huh......."
I clicked my tongue. This was a world so far removed from my common sense.
Saebyeok Nuna let out a small sigh and said,
"Not everyone with a tattoo is a punk, but honestly, it's true that a lot of them are. That's why the perception is bad."
"......."
"Take your time thinking it over, and let me know. I have no intention of forcing you to do it either."
"Yeahhh......."
Honestly, after hearing Hyeong-jun hyung's story, my heart was leaning toward getting a tattoo, but it didn't seem like a decision to make on the spot. Gahyeon Nuna had also told me not to decide based on an impulse of the moment.
Suddenly, Saebyeok Nuna stopped walking again.
"I go this way. Get home safe."
"Ah, okay. I'll be off."
I gave a small nod in greeting.
Saebyeok Nuna hesitated for a second, then waved.
"See you at school."
My eyes widened.
Soon I broke into a small grin and waved back.
"Yeah. See you at school."