Don't Put Yourself Down
Cheonggwang Neighborhood Park was developed around the stream that cuts through Cheonggwang University. Because of that, the Cheonggwang University stream area was often shortened to Cheonggaecheon.
An Seo-ra was running along Cheonggaecheon as she did every day. With each stride, her ponytail swayed like a horse's tail.
"Hoo, hap, hoo, hap."
She had been jogging like this for eight years. It had become an indispensable daily routine. In season or out of season, no matter how busy she got, she came out to jog at least once a day.
An Seo-ra only stopped after running several laps around Cheonggaecheon. Her body was flushed with heat, and sweat was trickling down even though the wind was still chilly. After sweating it out like this, she could spend the rest of the day feeling refreshed, with a sense of accomplishment as if she'd achieved something.
However, today, a faint unease lingered. The man who had been coming to Cheonggaecheon to run without missing a single day for the past week or so was nowhere to be seen.
'He was always here at this time.'
They didn't even know each other's names, but he was a man she oddly kept noticing. The sight of him running until he was drenched in sweat and gasping for breath was particularly memorable.
An Seo-ra didn't see a stranger in that sight. It reminded her of her past self. So, inwardly, she had been rooting for that man she ran into every morning.
But today, the man who had been jogging at the same time for a week was completely absent — even by the time she finished her workout.
'Did he give up?'
That seemed likely. Even if someone started exercising with fierce determination to change themselves, maintaining that resolve was never easy.
Over the eight years An Seo-ra had been exercising, the people she cheered on weren't limited to just that one man. Regardless of gender, she had rooted for many who exercised hard, especially those with larger builds trying to lose weight.
But most of them disappeared without a trace before long — even though they likely hadn't achieved their goal yet.
'I thought I'd see him around often.'
An Seo-ra recalled the man who ran as if his life depended on it. The way he ran for dear life, even though no one was chasing him, had seemed incredibly desperate. That was why, on impulse, she'd handed him the water she was drinking.
"Hmm. Did I maybe make him uncomfortable?"
He had been really flustered when she handed him the water — so much so that he couldn't speak and just gaped.
An Seo-ra soon shook her head and headed home. It felt silly to be thinking so much about a man whose name she didn't even know.
*
A chilly draft came in. Even though she was covered with a blanket, she could feel the cold air.
Pi Ah-reum instinctively gathered the blanket and curled up like a shrimp.
Then suddenly, her eyes snapped open. She realized this place wasn't her home. As she hurriedly tried to get up, a small groan escaped her.
"Ah, ahh."
Her head hurt and her stomach was upset too. Her whole body felt stiff and drained of energy. Especially, an unfamiliar pain rose from her lower body.
"Ughhh. They say the day after your first experience is that tough..."
Her pelvis felt sore, as if it had been twisted. It had been that intense a night.
Pi Ah-reum frowned at the discomfort as she carefully climbed out of bed. Then she picked up her underwear and a t-shirt and put them on. During the early morning hours, she'd claimed she liked the feeling of bare skin and fallen asleep naked, so she wasn't wearing anything.
The t-shirt, much larger than her frame, came down to her knees like a dress. When she sniffed it, she caught the now-familiar scent of a man.
At that, Pi Ah-reum smirked.
"I'm used goods now. Graduated from virginity, woohoo."
Pi Ah-reum was talking nonsense the moment she woke up. If Kang Cheol-jin had heard her, he would have undoubtedly made a bizarre face.
"But where did Cheol-jin go?"
The window looked like it had been left open for ventilation. Did he seriously just leave the window open and go out?
If he had, she might get a little sulky. Waking up alone after a night of passionate sex felt way worse than she thought it would.
Just then, the sliding door connecting to the kitchen slid open with a soft rumble.
Kang Cheol-jin, holding a pot, spotted her and his eyes widened.
"You're awake? Wash up and come. Let's eat breakfast."
Pi Ah-reum blinked her large eyes, then let out a puff of laughter.
"Thought you were my mom for a sec."
He hadn't gone anywhere; he'd woken up early and was preparing breakfast. How diligent of him.
She took quick little steps toward Kang Cheol-jin to take the pot. But while walking, she suddenly plopped down. Her legs had given out.
Kang Cheol-jin hurriedly put the pot down on the table and came over.
"Ah, Areum-ah, are you okay?"
"...I can't put any strength in my legs. This is all because of you, Kkang-cheol."
"No, that's..."
"You said you'd wash me, but then you kept pounding me in the bathroom too!"
In the early morning, after finishing their second round of sex, they'd gone into the bathroom. She felt too gross to just sleep like that. But since she had no strength in her body, she called Kang Cheol-jin and told him to wash with her. I have no strength because of you, so take responsibility and wash me!
And then, as if it were the most natural thing, they'd had another intense time in the bathroom. All because Kang Cheol-jin, unable to control himself at the sight of her body, had pounced on her like a beast...!
Kang Cheol-jin protested with the most aggrieved expression in the world.
"No! You kept fondling me and getting me hard, Areum! You said you wanted to try bathroom play!"
"Heeheehee. Help me up."
"Ugh..."
Kang Cheol-jin sighed and pressed his forehead. It probably wasn't just the hangover giving him a headache right now.
"Heave-ho!"
"Oh my gosh!"
Pi Ah-reum let out a surprised yelp. She'd reached out her hand to be helped up, and Kang Cheol-jin had lifted her entirely off the ground.
Being carried in what was known as a princess carry, Pi Ah-reum blinked and looked up at Kang Cheol-jin. Her heart was pounding. This guy was being so proactive, unlike yesterday. Did men really change this much once they'd shed a layer? Should they go back to the bed like this and go for one more round?
'Sex first thing in the morning. It's tiring, but this might be a little hot.'
She was having those thoughts, her heart fluttering.
She was gently seated on a chair.
"Aww..."
Pi Ah-reum couldn't hide her disappointment.
At that, Kang Cheol-jin retorted with his characteristic baffled expression.
"What's with the 'aww'?"
"Weren't we going to the bed?"
"I said let's eat breakfast?"
"Tch."
"No, seriously, what exactly are you dissatisfied with..."
"I was imagining that Kkang-cheol, unable to overcome his lust, would shove his erect cock at me and say 'this is your breakfast today.' I'm disappointed."
"...Sometimes I find it a bit hard to understand your headspace. Is this really a conversation between a man and a woman who've known each other for a day?"
"Heeheehee. Just kidding, kidding."
"...It is a joke, right?"
"Probably?"
Pi Ah-reum looked at the bewildered Kang Cheol-jin and let out a giggle. He really was a fun friend to tease.
As she sat in the chair swinging her legs, a hearty breakfast was soon laid out on the table.
Bean sprout kimchi soup with a spicy aroma, pan-fried Spam with egg, pink sausage. And white rice.
It was simple but appetizing, and Pi Ah-reum gave two thumbs up.
"Kkang-cheol is going to make a good wife."
"...Not husband?"
"What's this? Does that mean you want to be my husband?"
"Look, we're speaking Korean right now, right?"
"Let's eat quickly. Ah, you didn't sprinkle any weird stuff on it, saying it's your special sauce or something?"
"...Please stop saying such filthy things, seriously."
Pi Ah-reum chuckled and took a spoonful of rice.
It looked like he'd cooked the rice himself instead of using instant rice, and it was fluffy and delicious. The bean sprout kimchi soup soothed her stomach, which was upset from the hangover, and the Spam and pink sausage weren't too heavy, making it easy to eat.
"It's good. Kkang-cheol, you're a good cook, huh?"
"Cooking-wise, it's just bean sprout soup and pan-fried ham... Thanks for eating it so well. I'll make you something even better next time."
"Next time? Ooh, are you seducing me? Do I look like an easy woman who just falls for anyone who gives her good food?!"
"No, that's not it. Sorry."
"Munch munch munch."
"...Are you ignoring me?"
Kang Cheol-jin clenched his fist, trembling. Seeing that, Pi Ah-reum giggled and diligently ate up her food. At that, Kang Cheol-jin let out another sigh and resumed his meal. Because he reacted so well and played along, she kept wanting to tease him.
Soon, they finished eating.
"Want some coffee?"
"Yeah. I like coffee. I'll do the dishes."
"You don't have to."
"I can't just eat so well and do nothing!"
While Pi Ah-reum did the dishes, Kang Cheol-jin brought out the coffee. But this coffee was a little different from the usual kind.
"Whoa, is this pour-over?"
"Yeah. I like coffee, so I bought a cheap setup."
"Is Kkang-cheol by any chance rich?"
Having pour-over coffee at home was unusual, and the place itself was quite spacious and nice for a college student living alone.
Kang Cheol-jin quickly waved his hands in denial.
"It's nothing like that. I told you I took the GED, right? I earned a bit of money while everyone else was in school, so I used it on my hobbies."
Kang Cheol-jin said it like an excuse, but honestly, Pi Ah-reum didn't really care whether he was rich or not. It was just an 'oh, I see' kind of thing.
They were chatting about trivial things over coffee. Then Kang Cheol-jin suddenly spoke.
"Hey, Areum-ah. It's a bit awkward asking this now, but..."
"Yeah?"
"...Was it okay that I was your first?"
"Huh?"
What was he talking about?
Pi Ah-reum blinked and stared at Kang Cheol-jin. Was it because he'd sobered up? Instead of the passionate man from last night, she saw a huddled figure.
Pi Ah-reum didn't like that look and frowned. She'd noticed it a bit since yesterday, but even when the conversation was going well, Kang Cheol-jin would often shrink back strangely.
Was there a reason? Come to think of it, his friendship with Ahn Seong-hyeon didn't seem entirely comfortable either.
Several questions flitted through her mind.
But floundering in thought like this wasn't her style.
Pi Ah-reum decided on a frontal assault.
"Kkang-cheol-ah, why do you have so little confidence?"
"...Because I'm fat and ugly, obviously. And my personality isn't exactly fun either."
Pi Ah-reum, on the other hand, was excessively pretty. And on top of that, she had a down-to-earth personality. There was no avoiding the comparison.
But that was just what Kang Cheol-jin thought.
Pouting, she said,
"Cheol-jin-ah, it's really rude to me when you say things like that. That means I slept with a guy who's nothing special, doesn't it?"
"Th-that's not what I meant."
Kang Cheol-jin was flustered.
Pi Ah-reum sighed and continued.
"Honestly, it's true that I slept with you with a somewhat light heart. I was curious about sex."
It had been a long-standing curiosity. Most of her friends had already had their first experience in high school. Among the fast ones, some had even done it in middle school.
Pi Ah-reum's own sex drive was strong, and hearing those stories from people around her only amplified her fantasies about sex. Among her close friends, one had fallen so deep into sex with her boyfriend that she'd boosted her grades with the single-minded goal of going to the same university as him.
Just how good was the sex that a friend who was floundering in the 8-9 grade range saw her grades skyrocket to a 2.5?
That's why Pi Ah-reum also wanted to experience sex. But contrary to her wishes, her household was quite strict. Let alone sex, it was hard enough to even have a single boyfriend.
So she told her parents. She'd raise her grades and get into a good university, so give her some freedom. Loosen up the curfew a bit.
In the end, Pi Ah-reum got into Cheonggwang University, ranked just below the SKY universities, and she was in a state of frantic desperation to finally have the sex she'd been so looking forward to.
In the midst of that, she went to the freshman meet-up yesterday and met Kang Cheol-jin.
"But just because I slept with you lightly doesn't mean I slept with just anyone. It's not like anyone would have been fine."
If that were the case, she would have just grabbed any random guy on the street and gone to a motel. Pi Ah-reum was fully aware that she was pretty.
"From what I saw, you're a really decent guy. Your personality is easygoing, and I could see the consideration in each of your actions."
Of course, you couldn't know everything in a single day, but there were things that showed in everyday life. The Kang Cheol-jin she'd observed throughout yesterday was someone who was polite to others, including the staff, and a natural thoughtfulness was glimpsed in how he treated people.
Pi Ah-reum's intuition was extremely sharp in that regard.
"It's a bit awkward to say with my own mouth, but I'm pretty good at reading people. I thought you'd be okay."
And most of all,
"The way you look is my type too."
"...Me?"
Bewilderment was written all over Kang Cheol-jin's face.
At that, Pi Ah-reum smirked but nodded without hesitation.
"Yeah. I don't get why you call yourself ugly? As for being fat... isn't it more like you're pleasingly plump?"
It was definitely a figure far from slim. His round belly did stick out. But it didn't feel like he was rolling in flab.
For one thing, Kang Cheol-jin was really tall. People say being 180cm is common these days, but he was still 180cm. Because he had a basic large frame, even with some weight on him, he didn't look completely dull.
If she had to describe him, he had a bear-like look that had its appeal. And since his skin was fair, let's say a polar bear.
Pi Ah-reum drank her coffee and said,
"My mom said this. Be humble, but not excessively so. Just always be polite. And be confident in yourself. Well, she nagged about a ton of other things too, my mom..."
"..."
"Anyway, um, what I want to say is... you're a decent guy. But if you belittle yourself like you do now, you might actually start to look like that. Uh, what am I even trying to say?"
Pi Ah-reum tilted her head, unable to organize her words.
Kang Cheol-jin burst out laughing at that. What she wanted to say was clearly conveyed.
'Don't belittle yourself.'
Five years as a shut-in. It seemed that had made him fall too deep into self-deprecation.
*
That evening, An Seo-ra was running at Cheonggaecheon again.
'Why did I eat that for lunch...'
She'd gone over her set meal amount. It wasn't much, but considering she had a competition in a few days, it wasn't something to take lightly. So even though she'd already met her exercise quota for the day, she came out to Cheonggaecheon again.
As she sighed and made a lap around Cheonggaecheon,
"Oh?"
A familiar silhouette came into view.
She sped up and ran over, and sure enough, it was a familiar face. Overcome with gladness, she spoke up without thinking.
"Did you change your time?"
"Huh?"
At the sudden question, the man asked back with a startled face.
An Seo-ra had an 'oh no' moment, worried she'd made him uncomfortable again.
But contrary to her expectations, the man answered with a smiling face.
"I had something to do in the morning. I'm only running in the evening today."
"Ahh, I was wondering why I didn't see you this morning."
Ah, she'd done it again — said something that might make him feel burdened. In her experience, overweight people didn't like being noticed. So she quickly added.
"Uh, you know, you work out really hard. It stood out to me, so I was rooting for you."
Ah, she'd messed up. Wasn't this something that would burden him even more?
But this time too, the man's reaction was different from what she expected.
"Thank you. I was able to work harder because you always greeted me too. Ah, and thank you for the water you gave me back then."
"Ah, yes..."
"Well then."
"Hwaiting."
The man bowed his head slightly and left.
An Seo-ra stared at his retreating figure, then tilted her head.
"Something seems different about him."
She thought he was an extremely timid person, but he was unexpectedly calm and conversed well. Because his first impression had been like that, she'd purposely only exchanged eye greetings until now.
Soon, she shook her head and started running again.
Then a sudden pang of regret hit her.
"Ah, I didn't ask his name."
Well, she'd see him again anyway, so it wouldn't matter.
She sincerely hoped he wouldn't give up and could achieve his desired goal. She found herself strangely energized as well, and strength filled her steps.