IF) Unable to Be Honest Until the End—Just One Conversation

That conversation with her mother that day shook me to my core, but the wounds etched into my heart from my first life were far too deep to heal with just that. Afraid of enduring that pain again, I hesitated, kept hesitating, and in the end, those around me who grew tired of waiting abandoned their hopes for me and walked away.

After graduating high school and entering society, we became distant acquaintances who only exchanged occasional messages.

"I'm getting married."

And at that café reunion with my childhood friend, when she delivered that bombshell, I thought, Here it comes, and replied in a dry voice.

"Yeah?"

"...Is that all you've got to say?"

"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later."

Of course it was. She was a chaebol heiress, burdened with immense responsibilities. Her mother, Maia Christine, had even expanded the company through a political marriage, so anyone could see she'd follow the same path.

"Who's the guy?"

"One of our company's major shareholders. We've lost a lot of equity as we've grown, so it's the best way for our family to regain control."

"...I see."

My calm response came from having anticipated this flow. Still, when the moment arrived, my throat tightened, and I took a sip of tea. She pressed me sharply.

"Doesn't that make you feel anything?"

"What?"

"I'm marrying a guy I've barely even spoken to. We've known each other for over twenty years—shouldn't you feel something?"

"..."

"...You really feel nothing?"

How could I not? Even if we'd grown distant now, she'd once been as close to me as family. It was just that the many feelings I'd harbored for her had faded into irrelevance due to my hesitation, creating this distance.

"Well, these days I'm swamped dealing with my own independence issues."

But saying that now wouldn't change anything. Burying my feelings for her and maintaining composure, her hand suddenly slammed down hard.

-Thud!

The table shook. Tea spilled from the cup, soaking the surface, drawing stares from around the café.

"Really..."

It didn't matter anymore. To her now, only the emotions ignited by my words truly counted.

"You really feel nothing? Was I that insignificant to you?"

I'd liked her, but my inability to be honest made her wait for my confession. Ironically, I could never bring myself to accept her heart. Even now, facing her anger born of lingering attachment, the scars from my first life choked my words.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"Of course I feel affection for you as a childhood friend."

So I uttered empty words. Wasn't this ultimately for the best for her?

"That's why I want you to do well. I sincerely hope you find true happiness."

"You think marrying into an arranged marriage like ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this is my path to the greatest happiness?"

"What more could I wish for? From your company's perspective, I'm just an outsider."

Yes, our bond boiled down to having known each other since childhood. That alone lacked the force to bind us, so living according to each other's circumstances was the right answer.

"...So that's your true feeling?"

Did she sense her lingering hopes cooling at my words? Contrary to my expectation of a more explosive reaction, she turned and walked away. With that, I could finally sort out my feelings for her too.

Yes, this was it. Our relationship was...

"At least show up at the wedding venue."

But just as I thought that, she halted her departing steps and tossed the request over her shoulder without turning.

"Once the ceremony's done, I'll officially take over the company. It'll be even harder to see your face after that."

A meeting that might be our last. After that moment passed, we'd truly become strangers. Left alone after her declaration, I pondered for a long time whether to heed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her words.

How to end over twenty years of connection. Was it better to let it fade and forget, or to face her one last time and offer congratulations?

After agonizing over it, I finally arrived at the answer to shake off my lingering attachment to her.

"I'll just drop off the congratulatory money and leave."

A pittance compared to her family's standards, but enough justification to meet.

****

Yes, that was the only thought as I headed to the venue listed on the invitation. Just to see her face one last time and wish her sincere congratulations.

-BOOM!

But midway there, a massive explosion echoed from no great distance. Realizing it came from the hotel I'd targeted, the radio distorted as breaking news blared.

A threat on a community site. Checking it immediately, the link topped the search rankings.

A grudge against the groom's side. Normally, I'd dismiss it as tragic news, but the victim wasn't unrelated to me.

"Mary...!"

Traffic jammed from the terror attack. Abandoning my car reluctantly, I sprinted to the hotel, confronting the chaotic first floor.

Firefighters just arriving to extinguish the flames. Guests evacuating under their guidance.

But no bride in sight among them. No trace of her anywhere, no matter where I looked.

The only thing visible: a groom in his tuxedo, hiding among the crowd, catching his breath.

"Hey, where's Mary?"

"Who the hell are you? Out of nowhere..."

"Shut up and answer! Where's Mary?!"

I grabbed his collar and yelled. He'd have been by her side during the ceremony. He had to know where she was.

"H-how should I know? If she's not here, she's still inside."

"You call that an answer..."

"F-fuck, why are you glaring like that? You saying I should've dragged that woman out? Look around—flames everywhere! How am I supposed to go in there!? Even if she's the company heir, my life comes first!"

-Crack!

My fist flew. I couldn't stomach it otherwise. Never imagining the groom was such trash, betrayal and rage surged, urging me to beat him half to death.

"H-hey! What do you think you're doing!? Get your hands off him... W-wait, where are you going!? That's the fire zone!"

But now wasn't the time. She was in there. Saving her came first.

"Mary! Mary, where are you?!"

Entering with just a fire extinguisher, the scene was hellish. Smoke everywhere, bodies in gruesome states where people hadn't escaped. Anxiety mounted the deeper I went.

Maybe it was too late. Maybe I'd never see her again.

Yet my feet pressed on, until my eyes caught a woman in a wedding dress pinned under debris.

I knew instantly. It was her—the one I'd been searching for.

"Mary, wake up! Mary!"

"What... why are you here..."

"Hold on, I'll get you out right now!"

I cleared the scorching debris with bare hands. Skin tore, burns blistered, but it didn't matter. Only the drive to save her dominated my body.

"Mary, your body..."

Finally shoving it aside, I faced horror: a steel beam piercing her waist. The bleeding was severe. My mind reeled in chaos.

The wound's location was dire. She might not survive.

"...You can make it."

In frantic resolve, I hoisted her up, preparing to flee the inferno.

"You'll pull through. Just hang on—I'll get you to the hospital soon..."

-Rumble!

The ceiling cracked, debris raining down. Heavy fragments with crushing mass, plus toxic fumes clouding my mind—my steps slowed.

"Hey... I have a question..."

Her weak voice came then. Shaking off the haze, she whispered in my ear.

"Do you... like me?"

My throat closed. Her plea felt so desperate.

"You like me... That's why you came here, right?"

"This ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠isn't the time for that."

"No, it's exactly the time. It's important now. Remember our bet? Who'd say they like the other first..."

Her arms around me weakened. Her breath on my skin faded.

"I waited... all this time. For those words from you..."

Even dying, she urged desperately, her words nailing into my ear.

"I hoped you'd say you liked me, even if it was a lie... That one phrase would give me the courage to speak too..."

"I'm such a fool... Even now, in this mess... I'm so happy you came... but I can't say what I need to..."

Should I say it? The words she wanted, right here?

"I'll listen to anything."

No—saying it might end everything. She needed lingering attachment to survive. If I was that attachment, I had to withhold those words until the very last moment.

"Say as much as you want. Please..."

So don't die. Survive this, and I'll make your wish come true.

-Crack!

But reality crushed us mercilessly. The ceiling ahead collapsed, massive debris pouring through the fissure onto me.

Time slowed in that instant—I sensed my own death.

Yes, this was the end. Despite vowing never to love again, I couldn't let go, dragging everyone into tragedy...

"If only..."

Regret swallowed even past wounds, and from my lips came a final question as death loomed.

"If I could go back... to that time..."

If, by some miracle, I returned to then with these memories.

Could I tell her first that I liked her?

*****

And then, from the darkness—

-Chirp, chirp.

Familiar bird calls outside, a ceiling I knew, and the vivid thump of my heartbeat.

"...A dream."

Feeling my body smaller amid the pounding, I finally realized I'd returned to the past.

No—not returned. I'd foreseen an event yet to unfold.

"Another precognitive dream."

Ironic, wasn't it? The future branching from now led to such misery and tragedy.

"...What do you want from me?"

But regretting unoccurred events paled against the vivid past pains. Unable to decide rashly, the situation just felt suffocating.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?"

Just like her mother's words. I could only vaguely hope a clear answer satisfying everyone would come at the end of my wandering.