Blonde Twintails Are Nothing But Trouble
At five years old, I'd accepted the name Kim Cheolsu, but it still felt oddly off that my two-years-younger sister was named Kim Younghee.
"Cheolsu, time to wake up. It's kindergarten time."
Even so, I couldn't bring myself to resent the parents who'd granted me this second life. As always, I straightened my bedding and greeted my mother—who'd come to wake me—with the utmost courtesy.
"Thank you for all your hard work raising us siblings, Mother. I sincerely hope a meaningful day graces our family today as well."
"Uh, um. Yes. Our son is so exemplary again today."
I had no choice but to be sharp. My body was five, but my mind was that of a full-fledged adult who'd devoured every social novel out there.
Still, with society's gaze and the limits of my physical age and status, I couldn't pursue any grand developments just yet. If I wanted to strive forward anyway, the best start was maintaining smooth relationships with my family and those around me—the ones I'd be indebted to.
And among them, my little sister—who'd only recently started speaking, however clumsily—deserved special care.
"Oppa, where goin'?"
As I pondered this, my sister shuffled over, rubbing her eyes. I stroked her head and explained with all the dignity of an older brother.
"My beloved little sister. Your oppa is about to head to kindergarten, a place of learning, to pursue his own growth."
"Kin... der... garten?"
"Yes. After training there, this oppa will become an even finer person than he is now. Do you understand?"
"Un... der... stand..."
She blinked her still-sleepy eyes at my words, then burst into a grin at the end of her silence.
"No way! Oppa talks funny."
"...Yeah, mission accomplished."
Of course a three-year-old who only knew her mother's arms couldn't grasp the lofty words from my adult mind. Naturally, all she cared about was what fun she'd have today—and hoping her beloved oppa would join in.
"Let's play, me an' you."
"Sorry, but oppa's aiming for perfect attendance, so I can't play with you. Here—take this, my best friend, the triple-combiner robot."
"Robot!"
"Pretend this is oppa and have fun with it."
If this little heart held love for me, I'd nurture it tenderly. With that hope, I slipped away from my spot, and soon she was slamming the transforming robot on the floor, giggling wildly.
"Kyaa~ Hehe, thanks!"
...Of course. Infinite purity meant no restraint when it came to violence. I'd have to teach her morals and manners later, once she was older. Resolving that, I headed to the entryway, where the kindergarten bus and its teacher soon arrived to pick me up.
"Good morning, Cheolsu."
"Thank you for your early efforts, Teacher."
"Hehe, such a polite greeting again today. Hop on."
As soon as I boarded, I faced a chaotic scene of kids chattering and playing. But as I wove through to an empty seat, their attention snapped to me.
"Hehe, Cheolsu's here."
"How's your name Kim Cheolsu?"
Oh no, were these kids mocking my name again? Kids this age loved teasing over names. I was used to it by now, so I ignored them, sat in an empty spot, and pulled out my book to read, as usual.
"Cheolsu's reading again. Is it fun?"
"Eww, it's all words. No pictures—how's that fun?"
"No comics?"
"Ugh, too hard to read."
One by one, the kids lost interest in my book and looked away... Good. Better they ignore me.
While I focused on self-improvement en route to kindergarten, one kid's chatter drew eyes to the window.
"Whoa, guys, look over there!"
The bus was passing something that grabbed everyone's attention. Curious, I glanced out—and saw a luxury sedan keeping pace with our bus. The kind that screamed money. No wonder it dazzled the kids.
"Whoa, looks super expensive."
"I saw one like that on NewTube. Push a button and it transforms?"
"I wanna ride it. Should I jump on?"
Haha, eyeing luxury at this age? Future materialists in the making. I felt a twinge of envy myself, but what really bugged me was that it was heading the same way as us—to kindergarten. And through the tinted windows, a faint silhouette of a small child...
Was a transfer student riding in there?
"Everyone~ Great news for Sarang Village Kindergarten today~ A new friend is joining us!"
Our homeroom teacher confirmed my guess, gathering us to announce the transfer. The kids buzzed with excitement as she signaled, and the classroom door slid open.
A girl stepped in lightly. Her blonde hair—rare in Korea—was tied in twintails, screaming she was worlds apart from us.
"P-Pretty..."
Even to my adult eyes, she was striking. She flashed a confident smile and introduced herself to the class.
"Nice to meet you, commoners. I'm Mary Christine, heiress to Mary & Chris, set to inherit the company after my father."
Mary & Chris. The toy conglomerate. My parents had gifted me their toys, so I knew it well. Any kid who'd played with toys would find the name familiar.
"Her dad's the toy company president?"
"Yeah, her daddy's the boss."
"Lucky. Toy company dad means endless toys."
"If I make friends, maybe I'll score some?"
Of course—to play-loving kids, toys symbolized wealth and power. But her attitude rubbed some the wrong way, and the teacher gently cautioned the chaebol kid.
"Um, Mary? Pride's fine, but maybe introduce yourself more softly? Your tone might make the others feel distant..."
"Hmph, I expected that."
A sharp snap from her fingers. The door opened again, and suited, sunglassed bodyguards hauled in boxes of toys that spilled before us: robots, dolls, play sets, premium soccer balls—something for every taste.
"Gifts for my new home here. Take them and grow reverence for me."
"Whoa, so many toys!"
"She's nice! Gotta befriend her."
Good grief—a five-year-old already bribing her way in. Impressive hustle, but a power-drunk kid like that wouldn't blend into kindergarten life.
"You, fetch water. You, massage my shoulders."
During free time, she treated kids like servants. And the materialistic ones awakened their slave instincts early.
"Hey, Mary, wanna play house?"
"Sure. I'll be the master; you all servants."
"S-Servants? What's that?"
"Maids and butlers serving the master. I'm the master, so obey everything."
"B-But house isn't like that..."
"Oh right, play house needs props. Here's our company's new premium set. This'll be fun, right?"
"Just give orders, Master!"
In days, the chaebol kid ruled our Sunflower Class like a queen, even teachers powerless against her sway.
"Mary, you need to make friends, not boss them around. Play ball or role-play to build bonds..."
"Oh, Father sent premium Hanwoo sets for the teachers as a favor. Need any?"
"Ahem, thank your father."
...Even teachers bowed to cash. Was I the only sane one here? Bitter, I turned away and buried myself in my book.
About a week later, she noticed me.
"Hey, you—what's your name?"
"Kim Cheolsu."
"Pfft. Kim Cheolsu? Like a textbook character."
Don't laugh. It's the precious name my parents gave me.
"Anyway, why don't you come to me like the others? Don't want toys?"
She dangled a fancy robot toy temptingly, but as an adult-minded body, I had zero interest.
"Not really."
"W-What? You don't need them?"
"Prefer reading over toys. Got any literature?"
"Hmph! Books are boring—why read?"
"Yeah, figures a dummy like you wouldn't get it."
"Dummy!? You calling me a dummy!?"
That's right. A rich fool buying wisdom and friends with money.
"Anyway, no interest in toys. Leave me alone and play with the others."
"Ugh...!"
Had no one ever rejected her? She fumed, then escalated to petty jabs, graduating to group bullying via other kids.
"Kim Cheolsu's been annoying lately."
"Yeah, always reading, never plays."
"Thinks he's smart."
Sigh, gossiping at this age? Dark futures ahead. Boys, with their innate aggression, confronted me directly.
"Hey, Kim Cheol. Dodgeball?"
"Pass."
"No choice. Come out."
"Scared? Chicken."
So predictable. Fine, I'll play.
"Alright, let's go."
"Yay~ Cheolsu's got guts."
"FYI, it's you versus us five. No complaints?"
"What if I do? Kim Cheolsu trash."
Future delinquents. Infuriated by their unfair harassment, I faced the five surrounding me, dodging and countering their throws with full effort—proper form and power.
"Kek!"
"W-What!? This is weird! How's one kid handling five...!?"
Nothing weird. Most of my first life post-elementary was in pepper fields—PE was second nature. Kids' throws? Child's play.
"S-Stop! We were wrong—please stop!"
"Waaah! Gonna tell Mom!"
After the thrashing and their surrender, I stopped and glanced around. Far off, the chaebol kid glared, sweating bullets.
"T-This isn't how it was supposed to go..."
Shed hoped I'd get wrecked via proxies, but the world doesn't bend to kids' whims. Keep picking fights—I'd smack them all down.
About a month of fending off bullying like that, kids now avoided touching me like the plague. Then she cornered me alone.
"Kim Cheolsu, come here. Got something to say."
"...Don't wanna."
"Shut up and follow. Good news for you."
Good news from a conglomerate heir? Worth hearing. I trailed her to the kindergarten backyard, where she pointed imperiously.
"Kim Cheolsu, be my boyfriend from now on."
"What?"
"Mary & Chris's heir is specially accepting you. Thrilled, right?"
"Hell no?"
This damn brat. Now pulling rank for a forced date?