The Dinner at the Newlywed House Is Truly Peaceful
Still wearing nothing but a single pair of trunk briefs, Cheon Taerang finally shuffled toward the master bedroom, steam rolling off him like a hunk of boiled meat using some kind of Gear Second technique from One Piece. The sight made Baek Suyeon want to sprint over and kick that pathetic ass into next week.
The moment she watched those once-proud shoulders curl inward as he slipped into the room, the poker face she had desperately maintained crumbled into dust. Bang!
.....Has that crazy fucking bear bastard actually lost his mind..?
Her fist slammed down on the living room table, sending a heavy thud through the room and making the stew slosh violently. Her face burned so hot she could barely stand it. That slow-witted muscle pig. Showing up in nothing but briefs. Why the hell was he pumping out so much steam? Why did the lighting have to hit him at exactly the right angle? And why did he have so many goddamn unnecessary muscles? The list of complaints was endless.
What embarrassed her most was the way his eyes had closed for a moment, triggering a memory of their first night. She was sure he had caught her sneaking a glance at his lower body.
Ah, fuck. Fuck. Fuck..!!!! What if he misunderstood? How the hell do I explain it? No... that slow-witted bastard definitely wouldn't notice. How would a virgin loser like him even recognize my gaze? Still... was I too obvious? Ah, fuck. My head hurts.
Suyeon buried her face in both hands and slammed her forehead against the table. Heat crawled all the way to the tips of her ears, throbbing painfully.
Stay calm. Maintain composure. I'm an S-class hunter. I can't fall apart just because a stupid bear like him might have noticed me glancing at his crotch once. He's nothing but a protein-packed muscle virgin loser. Just a big dumb lump. That's all.
She gritted her teeth, trying to talk herself down, but at that exact moment the image of his eyes flashed through her mind again. Those pupils that seemed to have caught her stare... the way he had looked like an adorable large dog, ears drooping obediently when she coldly told him to go change because she was embarrassed... Wait. Adorable?
Baek Suyeon, have you actually gone insane? You think something like that is cute?
She shot upright and slapped her own cheek with a loud smack.
Get a grip. This is a mission. He's the surveillance target, Cheon Taerang, and I'm just an agent. There's no such thing as cute. I just need to watch him, get the divorce, and be done with this.
She repeated the mantra in her head.
...But he is kind of handsome, isn't he? The way he listens so obediently to me...
Ah, fuck! Seriously!!!!!!!!
Suyeon clutched her head and slammed it against the table repeatedly. After a long while she finally sat up, swept her hair back, and muttered under her breath.
".....I need to finish this mission and get that divorce. For real.."
Just as murderous intent began to rise like blood through the sweet aroma of bulgogi, the master bedroom door opened at the perfect moment. Suyeon instantly rearranged her facial muscles, switching into the most delicate and shy wife expression in the world.
"S-Suyeon... I put my clothes on... Sorry..."
Even though Cheon Taerang had properly dressed himself, he was clearly nervous, sneaking glances and looking thoroughly intimidated.
Why is he so scared..?
Suyeon frowned inwardly. It seemed her momentarily cold tone earlier had made him think she was angry. For someone with that build and face, his ability to read the room in these situations was strangely sharp. A bizarre creature whose size and mentality existed in inverse proportion.
"Mmm, what are you sorry for, honeyyy~? I was just so embarrassed seeing my husband's body, that's all~ You're the first man I've ever seen like that, after all... Now that you're dressed I feel a little more comfortable~ Come sit down and eat, honeyyy~"
It's only been three weeks and my lying and fake aegyo have improved quite a bit.
Her fist clenched tightly under the table, but the words that flowed from her mouth were syrupy enough to have downed an entire bowl of sugar. At her flawless performance of a devoted wife, Cheon Taerang's expression finally brightened noticeably.
"Ha... Thank god. I was totally scared, heh... Sorry, Suyeon."
Completely unaware that his wife's insides were burning pitch black, the big bear of a man pulled out a chair with majestic flair and sat down. He energetically grabbed his spoon and chopsticks, then began shoving bulgogi into his mouth by the fistful. Watching those cheeks bulge as he chewed noisily, Suyeon quietly sipped her stew as well.
Staring at that harmless, idiotic face, she was just starting to feel a little embarrassed about her earlier meltdown when it happened.
"Whoa, this broth is rich and spicy. Oh, that reminds me, you know Kim Juhyeon, right? He was giving me this weird pitying look earlier."
"......Kim Juhyeon, that son of a— I mean... Assistant Manager Kim, you mean?"
Her spoon froze in midair. The moment the name Kim Juhyeon came up—the incompetent bastard who was always holed up in the situation room spouting nonsense at her—Suyeon's mental radar went haywire.
"Yeah. He told me to take care of my health. Have I been looking weak lately...? Tch, he just doesn't know about my steel libido...! Right, Suyeon?"
"......."
Libido. Steel libido. What the hell was this civilian virgin pervert saying right to his wife's face? Did he actually think that was funny? She couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of bizarre database filled that head of his.
But the real disaster came right after.
Slide—.
A large, heavy foot slipped under the table, gently nudging against her white ankle.
......Crazy bastard.
Suyeon nearly snapped her spoon in half. When she glanced at Cheon Taerang, he was pushing up his glasses with a flash, wearing the most sinister pervert smile in existence while staring at her intently.
This sex-crazed bear bastard was seriously trying to play footsie with her—an S-class hunter and his assigned surveillance agent—under the dinner table.
"Mmm.... Darling..."
Suyeon curled the corners of her mouth upward, offering the most radiant angel smile the world had ever seen. Of course, beneath the table, her right foot had already gathered magic power with cold precision, ready to stomp down.
Die, you sex-crazed pervert bastard.
She slammed her foot down mercilessly on the exact center of his toe bones.
Crack!
".....Ugh?!"
A short, sharp groan escaped Cheon Taerang's lips. His eyes behind the glasses trembled violently as if an earthquake had struck. The electric shock that shot from his toes all the way to the top of his head drained his face of all color in an instant.
After confirming the result with a sidelong glance, Suyeon calmly lifted another spoonful of stew as if nothing had happened. As the warm broth slid down her throat, the corners of her mouth remained lifted in that angelic smile.
She slowly turned her gaze toward her husband and whispered in a low, gentle voice that somehow managed to be bone-chillingly cold.
"What could Assistant Manager Kim possibly know about my honey to say something like thaaat~? By the way... you really shouldn't use such vulgar words while we're eating, honeyyy... Just eat lots of food like a good boy and hold it all in until later tonight when you play with me really hard, okayyy~? No distractions, got it?"
The sound of grinding teeth mixed into her cutesy tone, but somehow the dense idiot still managed to pick up on the murderous warning. His face flushed bright red.
"S-Suyeon......! Kgh! Kgh! Cough! Kgh!"
Apparently his brain had overloaded on its own perverted fantasies, because the food went down the wrong pipe. His face turned so red it looked ready to explode as he clutched his throat and began coughing violently, shaking like an aspen tree. His eyes rolled back—he looked two seconds away from high-fiving the grim reaper.
Ah, fuck. Here we go again. Why does this idiot require so much maintenance?
If the surveillance target died from choking on bulgogi, her mission would fail spectacularly and she'd be fired on the spot. There probably wasn't even a precedent for a target dying from food while under observation. In a flash, Suyeon spun her chair around and moved behind him like lightning.
She drove her fist hard between his third and fourth thoracic vertebrae.
Thump———!!
"Gah—!! Haaack, haaack!"
Cheon Taerang gasped harshly for a long moment before finally calming down. She could feel the faint tremor in his spine from the impact through her fingertips.
He's alive. Next time just survive on your own, you bastard. There's no manual for cleaning up a surveillance target who dies while eating.
His hands were shaking with rage, but Cheon Taerang, completely oblivious, looked up at her with teary eyes full of gratitude as he adjusted his glasses.
"Haa, haa...... Thank goodness, Suyeon. Were you really scared your husband was going to die? I'm not dying, don't worry......"
"Y-Yeah...... Are you okay, honeyyy? I was so scared...... Hic."
While performing her utterly fake act, Suyeon barely managed to pull her hand from his grasp. The moment she turned toward the kitchen sink, the "devoted wife filter" on her facial muscles snapped completely, revealing her rotten expression in full.
......Maybe I should just dislocate his cervical vertebrae right now and end this peacefully. I swear I'm going to smash Kim Juhyeon's head in one day. Shut that sly mouth of his for good. Fuck, even saying this crap makes me cringe to death. Do men actually like this kind of speech? Can I really trust that saintess bitch?
From behind her came the sound of Cheon Taerang gulping down water. After a while she even heard him say "Ha~ I'm alive~" like an idiot. Suyeon closed her eyes tightly.
......Divorce when the mission ends. Divorce and be done with it. That's the only answer.
The dinner at the newlywed house, where the sweet aroma of bulgogi coexisted with an S-class hunter's murderous killing intent, was truly peaceful.