You're My Roommate
I reached out and gently stroked Belica's head, which tempted me to do so. As expected, or maybe not—a lemon scent wafted from her, utterly out of place with the mood, nearly making me laugh. I looked out the window instead. The sky peeking over the sill was already growing dim, as if rain would fall any moment.
"…Why the hell did you do that? Ranking Tournaments are always like that. You can get hurt in a fight. And if you do, you just get healed. So why butt in? Like an idiot."
As she spoke, Belica thumped my chest with her fist. For once, it didn't hurt much.
"Sorry."
"You think saying sorry to me fixes this? What changes? Adelia goes easy on you? Or the school rules change? Huh?"
"…"
"Say something, at least. Why are you just sitting there with your mouth shut?"
I opened my mouth reluctantly.
"…That was a vital spot. Even with a healer on standby, if something went wrong with you…"
"Went wrong how…?!"
Belica looked up at me, eyes rimmed red, pupils full of resentment. She seemed truly angry. But the target of that anger probably wasn't me.
"What does it matter to you if something happens to me! Who the hell are you…? Why do you worry about me! Who gives you the right…?!"
With that, Belica started kicking my shin wildly.
"Ugh! Ugh…!"
"Ow. Ruda already kicked me there earlier."
"That's why it hurts! It should hurt! You blockhead! Worm!"
"…Worm?"
I just let Belica keep going. Soon enough, she tired herself out and stopped.
"Who the hell are you to worry about me…"
"…You'd complain if I didn't."
"Obviously!"
…What did she want from me?
Belica leaned against my chest again.
"Say you're sorry to me."
"I'm sorry to you."
"Say it properly!"
"I just did. And didn't you tell me not to say that stuff before?"
"Still say it…!"
Did she think I was some machine that grants every whine?
"…Sigh."
I patted Belica's shoulder and spoke like the machine she imagined.
"Sorry…"
"Sorry for what?"
"Everything."
"…Hmph. No sincerity."
We kept hugging like that in the empty classroom. Even knowing we shouldn't. If we got caught, I could handle it, but Belica's position would be awkward. No one would buy "we're not a thing."
I tried to pull away from Belica then. But her arms immediately clamped around me, refusing to let go.
"Wait a bit…! Why are you so impatient!? You're a grown man!"
"You said I'm still growing earlier. Time to run around and play. Can't stay like this."
"You total blockhead! You don't get the mood at all…!"
Belica stomped her feet on the floor and finally backed off.
"…No helping it. For this immature troublemaker, this mom has to step up again!"
"The kid who was just whining is what mom now…"
"Ugh!"
I dodged Belica's kick in a hurry. But when I turned back, her eyes held no anger or playfulness.
"…"
She opened the classroom door again and stepped out. But she grabbed the door, blocking the way out, staring at me as if I wasn't allowed to follow.
"…Sorry. Ilsea. I'll handle everything."
With that, Belica shut the door, leaving me in the classroom. Her voice lingered in my ears like an echo—mature in a way unlike her, leaving me a bit melancholic. If even she, who seemed forever a kid, had to grow up, the world must be a depressing place.
I stood blankly in the shadowed classroom alone for a while. Thinking about the question Belica had thrown at me earlier.
…Are we really nothing to each other?
……
Leaving the classroom late, I searched everywhere for Belica. Cafeteria, plaza, separate classrooms, lounge, her dorm room, our usual practice room. But she was nowhere.
Where did she go? What did she mean by handling it all herself?
I should've followed right away. Idiot.
Back at the dorm, I wrestled with boots that wouldn't come off. Damn, nothing works right. I just plopped down at the entrance.
"Phew…"
I sighed. No regrets. Even if I could go back, I'd choose the same. But didn't I have the right to resent a world that offered no better choices?
Then Ronari's voice came from behind.
"Ilsea."
I didn't turn. No idea what to say anyway.
"…Yeah."
But Ronari said abruptly,
"For now… I don't think you did wrong."
No need to ask what. Obviously the Ranking Tournament. A mage like Ronari would've noticed my interference.
"Was just heading to turn myself in. Don't worry."
Ignoring me, Ronari pushed on.
"If you hadn't stepped in, Belica definitely would've taken a fatal hit. I think you did the right thing. So…"
"Rules are rules."
I finally yanked off the boot and stood. Ronari asked,
"What happens…? Heard anything? Not going to trial, right?"
"…"
I tried to pass her in the hall, but she blocked me.
"If it comes to that, I'll testify. Gideon will too. Maybe even get cooperation from others who saw the match…"
I put a hand on Ronari's shoulder.
"Thanks."
"Uh…"
She shyly turned her head a bit. But as I passed and opened the door, I said,
"Still, no need to be that nice to me."
"Huh…?"
"Who am I to you."
Then I shut the door. No sound from outside, as expected.
I set down my stuff and lay on the bed. Exhausted, but sleep wouldn't come. Too many thoughts?
…That's all my fault too.
That was childish, even by my standards. Just passing Belica's words back to Ronari—what good did it do? Just venting. And I already knew. I'm nothing. To Belica, to Ronari.
"…"
Then the next room's door opened.
The sound of it being flung wide thudded closer—thud thud thud—then knocked on the sliding door.
Hey!
"…"
Hey…!
"…What."
You're… my roommate!
"What…?"
Ronari's sudden words pulled a dumb response from me. Then she continued.
You just asked! What… who are you. You're my roommate. Classmate… too.
"…"
No answer from me, so her hesitant voice leaked through the sliding door.
…Not…?
…What wasn't? My mind blanked. Guessing… probably asking if we weren't friends. Definitions of friends, personal distance—irrelevant crap flashed by, but I ignored it. Decided not to overthink.
"…Yeah. Friends."
Right…!? So there's plenty of reason to be nice. Because friends!
"Is that how it works…?"
That's how it works…!
Clear answer, if nothing else.
…What to do with this. Felt like a fool for tensing up. Grateful, but honestly awkward. Didn't expect this.
But attacks kept coming from the other side, relentless.
So anyway…
"…?"
Can I… open this door a bit…?
Door? Which door.
…She means this?
I looked up at the sliding door. So wall-like from disuse, took a second to register as a door.
"Why this…"
Got something for you.
Before I could respond, the sliding door slid open on its own. First time since day one. Just enough for a hand, but still.
Through the gap, Ronari held out my handkerchief.
Here.
To take it, I got up and went to the door. Took the handkerchief. Faint scent like hers—subtle fruit jam, or acacia.
Hole in it, so I patched it with spare cloth and sewed it.
Hole. …Ah.
As she said, new cloth covered the hole.
"…Thanks."
Yeah. But Ronari's hand stayed in my room. She held out her palm flat, expectant.
Now give back my handkerchief.
Right. Yeah.
But…
"Haven't washed it yet."
That's fine…! Just give it.
Fine then. I pulled Ronari's handkerchief from my pocket and handed it over. Her hand vanished back, and the door slid shut, becoming a wall again.
Tomorrow, let's talk with Bel about the trial.
"Sure."
Then…
Her last voice that day came through the door. So soft, I wondered if I misheard.
Sleep well.
I stared at the door a while, then at the handkerchief I'd just gotten. My handkerchief, scented like Ronari. The yellow patch over the hole stood out, almost like her gaze. Made me smile for no reason. Belica'd make a huge fuss if she saw this.
Oh, right—still gotta return Belica's handkerchief too. Tomorrow. Could picture her complaining my smell rubbed off.
I tucked Belica's handkerchief in my pocket and lay back down. Could wash it now, but decided not to. Maybe I wanted the usual foot-stomping, annoyed Belica instead of the down one. Greed I shouldn't indulge.
Before I knew it, I was rationalizing: just a small greed, it's fine.
Like that, unable to push away Belica or Ronari, I stayed put. Knowing my place.
Still.
That was my cowardice.
……
But the next morning, Belica's face was ridiculously bright.
"Hey, delinquent kid~ Be grateful! Your Mother Belica pulled off another one! You really can't do without me, huh?"