Chapter 181
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 181
What, then, did “from the very beginning” mean? Before Gabriel could ask, the topic shifted.
“You seem quite satisfied with your current state, but do you plan to just sit here quietly during the Festival of Sacrifice?”
It wasn’t a subject Gabriel could ignore. He swallowed his questions and focused on the conversation.
“If possible, I want to be by Lady Evangeline’s side. But… with my body in this state…”
Above all, it was highly unlikely that Evangeline would bring him along. She would do it out of consideration, to protect him as an invalid, but the thought of being left behind alone made Gabriel’s heart burn to ashes. He turned to Pudding as if grasping at a lifeline.
“Pudding. If I were to make a wish to you, could you heal my body?”
“You, making a wish to me? Do you have any idea what you’re saying?”
“Yes… I know.”
Gabriel swallowed the discomfort that rose in his throat. He knew all too well what it meant to make a wish to Pudding—to a demon.
It was a choice the original Gabriel would have never made. But the current Gabriel had learned that to protect what was precious, he had to abandon the beliefs that stood in his way.
“As if you do.”
Yeah, right. Pudding sneered, his expression subtle. Gabriel could almost hear the unspoken words hanging in the air.
Gabriel loathed harming others. If someone asked for help, he would extend a hand without hesitation, regardless of who they were. Helping others without distinguishing between friend and foe had become a hardened habit.
Having lived his entire life with such beliefs, the thought of others sacrificing themselves for his sake was even harder to bear.
Someone had once declared that Gabriel was born with a good nature. He, however, did not think so.
Gabriel’s nature was acquired. He could never forget the memory of the child who had saved him and died in his place when no one else would help, no matter how much time passed.
The memory was a shackle. It was more than just a childhood trauma; it had become a blind conviction that determined the course of his life.
So, Gabriel would hesitate hundreds, thousands of times. Yet, in the end, he would agree to sacrifice an innocent person.
Because what he had to place on the other side of the scales was too important. The balance had already tipped.
“…Because I, too, have priorities.”
It was a warning he had once heard from Jelly.
Gabriel had learned how to weigh human lives while dealing with Bishop Marik. He had moved a step ahead of the bishop, purging those branded as heretics himself.
At first, he was filled with nothing but guilt and doubt. Did he have the right to do such a thing? Was it right to sacrifice even a single human life? He agonized over whether one person’s life was truly lighter than the lives of many.
His agony didn’t last long. While he was hesitating, news arrived that an entire family—a whole small village—had been burned to the ground under the pretext of consorting with heretics in a place he had failed to reach in time. By the time Gabriel recovered the bodies, it was too late.
Screams and pleas for mercy echoed wherever he went. Gabriel no longer hesitated to kill the scapegoats. Their families spat resentment and curses at him.
Hearing their curses didn’t feel bad. At least it was proof that they were still alive.
Gabriel had come to realize that it was better for one person to die bearing all the sins than for an entire family to perish.
He knew some would rather die together, so this was merely his own justification. If it was hypocrisy, then so be it.
Human lives were snuffed out by his hand.
Evangeline loathed how Bishop Marik judged and measured human lives on a whim, but in truth, Gabriel was no different.
If sacrificing an innocent person could help Evangeline, Gabriel would not hesitate to use another’s life as a tool.
The lives he took were etched into his memory, becoming another part of who he was. Yes, this was hypocrisy.
This selfish side of him might have been something he shared with the Emperor. At that moment, Gabriel felt a deep, chilling conviction that he and the Emperor were of the same blood.
“…You’ve become a bit more to my liking.”
Pudding regarded Gabriel with half-lidded eyes.
“It’s admirable that you’ve changed, but I can’t heal you.”
The answer was a flat denial. Perhaps reading the despair that washed over Gabriel’s face, Pudding quickly corrected himself.
“Ah, to be precise, it’s not that I won’t do it, but that I can’t.”
“What?”
“I don’t mean I don’t want to heal you. I mean I literally cannot.”
“It’s impossible?”
“Yeah.”
Pudding nodded and began to explain.
“Recovery is Rachel’s divine authority.”
This was obvious; holy water, created in the temples of the Sun Goddess, was the most common remedy in the world. Since this was an undeniable fact, Gabriel could only nod with a grim expression.
“To be more precise, it’s a divine authority that Rachel ‘monopolized.’ So, things like me—servants of Leah—can’t actually heal wounds. We just have underhanded methods of restoring bodies.”
Pudding didn’t elaborate, but Gabriel guessed that human lives were used to restore a demon’s body. Since the summoning ritual itself demanded human lives, it was an easy conclusion to draw. Lacking the Sun Goddess’s divine authority, they simply took human lives as nourishment.
“But I can’t even use those methods on you. You’re human.”
Pudding concluded firmly.
“Except for one, all humans were molded by Rachel. And you are one of them.”
At the mention of a single exception, Gabriel couldn’t help but think of Evangeline.
Was he mistaken? But if the exception truly was Lady Evangeline…
If she hadn’t been created by the Sun Goddess, it would explain the strange feelings he’d had since their first meeting—a sense of otherness so profound he couldn’t think of her as the same kind of being.
He remembered her voice, anxiously asking if he would be okay with her even if she wasn’t human. Her tone had trembled, as if she were about to cry, making him want to soothe her then and there.
The agony of being unable to move, unable to wipe her tearless eyes or hold her cold hands, was excruciating.
Pudding continued, paying no mind to what Gabriel might have just deduced.
“Gods are greedy.”
For a fleeting moment, Gabriel felt as if the demon were pitying him, though he knew it was impossible.
“Even if Rachel abandoned you, the Sun Goddess’s influence hasn’t vanished. The fact that you can still heal naturally, despite holy water no longer working, is proof of her lingering power.”
Just as Pudding said, even without holy water, Gabriel’s body did recover on its own. If his wounds had never healed, he never could have hidden his constitution and remained in the temple as a paladin.
However, a major injury like severed tendons couldn’t be restored without a miracle on the level of holy water. Still, Gabriel believed there was a reason Pudding had brought up the Festival of Sacrifice.
Though the demon said he couldn’t heal him, there had to be another way.
“Pudding, you said my body can’t be restored. Then why did you mention the Festival of Sacrifice?”
At Gabriel’s question, Pudding’s face hardened. His smooth, rounded forehead split open. From the parted flesh, a single beastly eye stared out at Gabriel. The heartless face, stripped of all expression, was still gorgeous, yet ironically, it held not a single trace of humanity.
Who could ever recognize this creature as the same cat that wagged its tail and fawned over Evangeline?
“Gabriel. How far are you willing to go for Lady Evangeline?”
In an instant, the world flipped. The ceiling was now the floor, and furniture hung upside down above his head. The demon stood on the ceiling, looking down at him.
The scene was terribly familiar. Eyeballs were clustered tightly on walls of clinging bone and flesh.
It was the same scenery he had seen through the mirror during his first dance with Evangeline. The only difference was that, unlike Evangeline who had stood apart and flawless, Pudding blended seamlessly into the horrific landscape.
Gabriel realized that the vision back then had been something the demon had shown him. Strange as it was, he now understood it had been nothing more than the demon’s petty jealousy.
Gabriel closed his eyes, then opened them again, his voice resolute.
“…I would sacrifice my worthless life without a second thought.”
Pudding seemed satisfied with his answer.
“That resolve will suffice.”
And then, the demon began to perform a miracle.
“Lady Evangeline would never take you along while you’re injured like this. But you are needed for the Festival of Sacrifice. So, I have no choice but to help.”
The demon snapped his fingers. Gabriel’s body jolted.
“Ugh…!”
He clenched his teeth against the pain that flooded him. The demon, who had no interest in anyone’s suffering but Evangeline’s, simply kept snapping his fingers.
With every snap, Gabriel’s body convulsed. Thorns sprouted in his veins, stabbing him from the inside like a thousand fine needles. Long, thin objects seemed to pierce and sew through his hands and feet. Finally, a piercing sensation shot through his skull.
“Ngh, haah…”
It felt like knives were being stabbed into his head at random, then sawed back and forth. His stomach churned violently, and something hot surged up his throat, spilling from his lips. Gabriel writhed, gasping for breath.
An incomprehensible pain assaulted him, one no human should be able to endure. Yet for some reason, he couldn’t even lose consciousness. He wanted to scream, to beg for it to stop.
Instead, Gabriel bit his lip until it bled. If this pain would help Evangeline, he could endure any amount of it.
Even if he died here and now, as long as it benefited her, he would not blame Pudding. With that single thought, Gabriel endured the encroaching agony.
After what felt like an eternity, the pain finally subsided. Drenched in a cold sweat and breathing in shallow gasps, Gabriel came to his senses to find the world had returned to normal.
“Pudding. What is this…”
Gabriel couldn’t finish his sentence.