Chapter 18
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 18
Chapter Title: Academy Life Starting with Personality Excretion
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"Mmm~ This pork stir-fry is amazing."
After the scarecrow measurements wrapped up, it was lunchtime.
The pork stir-fry at Etsol Academy's student cafeteria was out of this world!
Today, I even bought Hena's seafood pasta for her. While paying back the money I'd borrowed yesterday.
Total spent: 9 coins. Remaining balance: 45 coins.
"You really didn't have to..."
"I bought it as a thank-you."
"A thank-you? ...For your chest?"
Letting me touch those boobs was a favor, if you could call it that...
"..."
"If you're gonna get all shy about it, why bring it up...?"
"It's embarrassing..."
"I meant the favor of covering for me when I almost got expelled."
Being able to live this academy life right now? That's mostly thanks to Hena.
From her perspective, I must've seemed like the type who'd vanish if left alone.
Was it the gaslighting?
"What made you want to defend me like that?"
"..."
"You don't have to say if it's hard."
It wasn't the kind of favor you could settle with one meal anyway. I planned to repay her more.
Plus, it felt like I needed to stick by Hena's side.
But with her being an NPC with that "total pervert body," was having the eroge protagonist like me hanging around a plus or a minus? I still wasn't sure.
I worried random eroge events (the steamy kind) from Onahole Academy might be waiting for me.
"Mind if I sit?"
That's when Yuuna casually slid into the seat next to me.
"Aren't those your friends over there?"
She was getting these baffled stares.
"I decided to eat with Hena today."
"Then why my seat?"
"..."
Her eyes pleaded for me to just let it slide.
"Should I not sit, then?"
"Please, have a seat, princess. Here's some tribute to calm your wrath."
I scooped some of my precious pork stir-fry onto her plate.
"Ahem. I'm having mapo tofu, though. You okay with that?"
Right on cue, side dish swap time.
"I'm not picky."
"Spicy stuff... I can't handle it..."
"Then want some dumplings, Hena? Oh, no shrimp for me."
"Yeah, I love dumplings."
We sampled each other's dishes.
Mapo tofu's pretty good too. Next time, that one.
"You two ready for next class?"
"What's next class?"
"You really live life so casually, Kim Sanghyeok."
"Was that too D-rank of me?"
I belatedly checked the academy app. Afternoon class: dungeon exploration.
"We're going outside?"
"Outside? What're you talking about?"
Yuuna seemed to remember my backstory as a shut-in truant and explained in detail.
Surprisingly, the academy had a system that generated dozens of dungeon entrances internally.
Was I the only one attending this place without knowing that?
"Isn't that dangerous? What's the point of dungeons in the academy?"
"So students can grow safely. Nothing's riskier than jumping into the real world bare-handed."
"A controlled environment, at least?"
"Yeah. Compared to the unpredictable ones popping up in remote wilderness areas, Etsol Academy's dungeons have low variability. That's Korea's main advantage."
'Low variability.'
Meaning lower chance of something going horribly wrong inside. Seemed like it.
"Other countries are different?"
"Way riskier. Sometimes transcendent-grade beasts roam free because they can't be contained, so travel ban lists get updated monthly."
"Gonna need competent hunters everywhere."
Hunter status must be insane.
And that meant serious money potential.
'It's all starting to line up.'
In Onahole Academy, the protagonist grows by collecting onaholes.
If I had to guess why I got these cheat skills, it's to turn a D-rank loser into a proper hunter.
The eroge's ultimate goal: the harem.
The hunter industry probably had tons of heroines.
Yuuna technically counted as one, since she doubled as a pro hunter.
This had to be one of the game's main routes.
'That's gotta be it.'
My roommate Lee Suhyeon—the Onahole Academy player who sent me here—his ramblings helped at times like this.
If he sank over 200 hours into it, it wasn't just some basic eroge.
A simulation game with protagonist and heroine growth mechanics...
Then the straightforward "Hunter Route" demanding honest growth was perfect for me.
I'd ditched dreams of a stable nine-to-five. High risk, high return. Hunters raking in cash were the way to go.
Just avoid nasty events like the "Villain Route" or "Worst Villain Onahole Man"...
"Anything else you're curious about?"
Say what you will, Yuuna had a personality that loved looking after others. She helped without a hint of annoyance.
Her slightly smug face was almost cute.
"Low variability means Korean dungeons are easy?"
"Yep. That's why Korea has so many prestigious academies. Relatively weak dungeons make it ideal. Places like Russia starting at minimum A-rank make rookie training a nightmare."
A hero just setting out on adventure should face level 1 slimes first.
Start with level 80 dragons, and everyone's toast.
Korea's step-by-step progression was a huge plus.
"But seriously, were you holed up somewhere? This is common knowledge from the news."
"Bingeing anime at home."
Heh. Dodged Yuuna's grilling with ease.
The second I mentioned anime, she lost the will to pry further.
Oh, so you were watching anime at home. What now?
"What anime?"
That's when Hena perked up.
An academy girl interested in anime talk? Right in front of me?
"Yeah, what anime? What anime?"
Saying I'd never seen any anime from this world would crush her.
What to say...
"It's one packed with cute girls, so Hena probably hasn't seen it."
I named a genre no girl would touch.
"Maybe Generic Isekai Pure Love?"
But I'd underestimated Hena's otaku power.
She nailed a cute girl anime title out of nowhere.
One of my own?
The otaku in me stirred a little.
"What? The title sounds great."
"It's a super popular series! Anime awards yearly number one! If you haven't seen it, you have to!"
This world was mainstream pure love too, huh.
I'd worried that in the world of top eroge Onahole Academy, everyone secretly loved netorare, NTR, tentacles, and the like.
Realizing pure love was the norm eased my mind somehow.
"Never seen it? Wanna watch at my place? I have the collector's edition from episode 1 to 152. Let's marathon it!"
"No, not all at once..."
Hena, since when were you this bubbly, motor-mouth character?
"Fine, let's sample it first. Episode 1—no, 'that scene' starts at episode 3. At least up to 3. Episode 3 has Sakamoto directing the art and animation—it's peak.
The heroine's so cute, it's dangerous for your heart...!"
I watched Hena's anime rant spiral out of control, speechless.
Yuuna couldn't join in, so she just nommed her mapo tofu, glancing between us.
'So that's her taste...'
It somehow fit perfectly.
I'd wondered why a girl with that body and bangs-hiding face was a nerdy heroine type.
Now it made sense.
As a fellow hardcore otaku, I felt a kinship.
She'd be devastated if I refused a sample watch.
"Alright. Let's sample it together."
"Really? Really? When, what time? How long? I-I already know the ending, but I'll act like it's my first time and stay quiet!"
"This weekend?"
"Y-Yes! This weekend!"
And just like that, I'd accidentally scheduled an anime viewing party with a female classmate friend (K-cup estimated).
Pure love genre? No reason to say no.
After picking it, I couldn't help but chuckle—had that been a route choice?
"Ehehe."
If so, her expression screamed "marriage material."
Worried for her. The type to get stuck with some loser and ruin her life.
Guess I'd look out for her.
Not that I meant groping her chest or anything.
If we were normal friends, no need for that.
I'd rushed things at first meeting, sure...
But if I stayed careful, we could avoid random eroge events and keep things chill.
'No way she's planning to lock eyes with me in the dungeon.'
As long as I didn't drag down these two stronger heroines, it'd be fine.
Afternoon class time.
Class 2-F headed back to the Indoor Training Ground. Everyone grabbed dungeon gear from their lockers.
Hena wielded her deep brown wood-patterned staff, and unlike last raid's rush, Yuuna was geared up properly: custom belt over her uniform, protective gloves, the works.
Still, to my eyes, heading into a dungeon in a thigh-baring uniform looked precarious yet badass.
The key was their prep outclassed mine.
I was the only one standing there in just a hoodie, empty-handed.
"What the—Kim Sanghyeok, no personal gear?"
Yuuna asked, shocked.
"..."
My locker had a naughty mag with idol "Rizna May" who looked like the Student Council President.
Would that help?
Felt like the tragic kid from a poor family who couldn't afford gear.
And that pitiful aura must've triggered Yuuna's class rep instincts.
"...We still got time. Follow me!"
Grab.
Yuuna seized my hand and yanked me along.
"W-Wait, Hena. Be right back."
Leaving the Indoor Training Ground, we turned a corridor corner. A sleepy-eyed girl guarded a door there.
"Yuuna? What's up?"
"Chen, can we check out some gear?"
"Kim Sanghyeok? Isn't he D-rank? Kinda early for that."
"He doesn't even have basic equipment."
Embarrassing.
The girl called Chen eyed me head to toe, then sighed.
"He probably won't know how to use anything anyway. ...Still, go take a look."
"Yes ma'am!"
The door Chen guarded swung open, and I was stunned.
Weapons depot...?
Weapons and armor of every type lined the shelves by category.
Students I guessed were "Artisan" types inspected gear, checked inventory—busy at work.
"This is the academy's B Workshop. Biggest weapon selection around."
"Can I buy stuff here?"
"Yeah. How about this?"
Yuuna grabbed a sword right away.
Honestly, no confidence I'd wield it like Yuuna.
More importantly.
'Doesn't fit Personality Excretion.'
I hadn't mastered it yet, but Personality Excretion paired best with impact weapons.
Not sharp ones.
Contact alone could trigger it somewhat, but slamming into enemies felt best.
That's why I'd moved my body so much during scarecrow practice.
Real combat would be tougher.
"Browse around."
Then, a weapon caught my eye.
The modern cure-all: a gun.
I pictured myself as Personality Excretion's John Wick—a pro killer from some action flick.
'Personality Excretion double-tap, Personality Excretion Mozambique drill...'
Badass as hell?