Chapter 16

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Translator: penny

Chapter: 16

Chapter Title: Personality Excretion Smash (2)

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Just before the illusory damage measurement.

Yuuna, Hena, and I had grouped up and were heading to the indoor training ground.

"Kim Sanghyeok. Aren't you nervous?"

The slight distance in her full-name address. Even after we'd hugged skin-to-skin, this subtle gap with the opposite sex felt like the true charm of co-ed school.

"Kinda excited, actually?"

It'd be a lie to say I wasn't tense at all, but it was a nostalgic kind of tension, like waiting for my turn in a childhood race.

By my current standards, it wasn't a bad feeling at all.

"Hmm. So all that's left is to climb up, huh?"

"D-Rank means nothing to lose."

What more could they say about a D-Rank besides "Well, that's D-Rank for you"?

Having rock-bottom expectations meant less pressure and more comfort.

"Still, you gotta grind now to make second semester easier."

"Truth is, I don't even know what I don't know."

I had a vague hunch that bombing this test would make my life tougher, but I was optimistic about the future.

The protagonist reborn by the eroge goddess packing him with cheats—new Sanghyeok, that's me, right?

I had Personality Excretion.

I'd played enough RPGs to know there wasn't a better attack skill than this. Probably the absolute best.

Onahole Collection was a solid talent on its own, but it was a growth-type one any player could enjoy in the original game.

But Personality Excretion—one of the exclusive authorities even the original protagonist Goo Sanghyeok didn't have.

The value from the start was on another level.

I planned to wield Personality Excretion as my unique main weapon.

Honestly, it felt pretty reliable.

"What do you wanna do later? Hero? Hunter?"

"Whatever pays the most."

"Then not a hero."

"Heroes don't make bank?"

"Top tiers out-earn hunters sometimes, but below A-Rank? Basically volunteering."

Yeah, can't do that.

"Come to think of it, aside from money, I got another reason I can't be a hero."

"Why?"

"You know it'd stick me with some ridiculous hero name. 'Personality Excretion Man', 'Onahole Man'..."

"Pfft!!"

Yuuna burst out laughing uncontrollably, grabbing onto me.

With the freaky talent 'Onahole Collector', catching villains via Personality Excretion? I'd be Seoul's top pervert hero in no time.

"Same reason I can't be a villain. Tomorrow's headlines: 'Inhumane Onahole Villain Assaults Women in Downtown...'"

"Ahh, heh, pffft! Stop, stop, I'm dying."

As Yuuna nearly collapsed, nearby students shot us looks.

Whatever. She looked genuinely happy.

Pretty girls look pretty even laughing.

"Ah, this feels great. Haven't laughed like this in forever."

"Sidekick—hero's assistant—Onahole Princess would fit perfect, though."

"Ahaha, seriously stop...! My stomach hurts!"

Hm? Where'd Hena go?

I noticed right away once her cosmic-scale bust presence vanished.

Glancing back, Hena was lagging behind, head down, mood dark.

hadn't said a word since earlier...

"Hena."

I called softly.

She snapped her head up, eyes sparkling.

"Yeah!? D-d-did you call me? Sanghyeok?"

"Why're you falling behind? Stick close."

"...Yeah!! I'll stick right to you."

No. Not that close—I don't need to feel your tit temperature.

Her social skills worried me, childhood friend clinging to my arm like a lover, rubbing her chest against it over something so minor.

Anyway, Yuuna went first in our group.

"Haaaaah!"

Ooh. Her sword skills flashed brilliantly, a blur.

Too far to see details, but Yuuna's swordsmanship was impressive.

"991 points!"

Yuuna pumped a V-sign, beaming joy at us.

"Amazing."

"That's high?"

"Totally! Locks her in class Top 3."

Wonder how I'll do? Only one dungeon run so far, but hey, protagonist of Onahole Academy.

Honestly, smashing records and shocking everyone? That's the scripted plot, right?

I imagined their reactions (to my taste) post-test.

"Wahh, Sanghyeok... you're awesome♡ So proud to be your friend!"

"How'd you beat me by 2,000 points? So cool♡"

"Sorry for underestimating a D-Rank♡♡♡"

...Heh heh heh. Nice~.

...Wait. Some hentai dialogue snuck in?

Out of my wholesome fantasy! You eroge demon!

"Hena's turn next."

She looked tense as hell.

"Who's she again?"

"Dunno. But damn, those tits."

"Kinda gloomy."

"Name unknown, big tits, gloomy."

That seemed to be the class's take on Hena.

Couldn't fathom it—she was peak beauty—but knowing her hidden charms felt kinda nice.

She could've just shaken 'em once; guys would've gone wild.

Hena's style was super static mage.

Hardly visible from afar, just chanting at the dummy.

"How much?"

She mumbled back.

"320 points..."

"Solid?"

"Yeah... Was 290 before..."

"Good job."

"You did great! Hena!"

Yuuna grabbed and pulled her hand.

"C'mon, sit here."

"...C-can I sit next to you?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"What, friends can't?"

Hm, my turn.

"Ah. Sanghyeok. Go get 'em."

"Kim Sanghyeok! Break the high score!"

"Be right back."

Escorted by two beauties to center stage.

Dummy far from spectators.

Standard to keep distance from skill splash since everyone goes all-out.

Only the measurement teacher guarded nearby.

Dale Hardnet, his name.

Suit-clad, mid-20s black-haired hunter.

But per Yuuna, always S-Rank+ for these.

Meaning the guy before me was top of Etsol Academy's food chain—an S-Rank hunter.

Somehow cooler now.

"To position."

"Yes, sir."

No slacking.

Not just 'cause S-Rank.

His back-slung Benelli series—semi-auto shotgun—looked threatening.

"Starts at 6 seconds."

'...No weaknesses, as expected from a dummy.'

But beginner dummy? Could this fodder withstand my Personality Excretion?

'Even if I smash it'—no guilt.

Perfect target for me.

Huuuuh!

"Personality Excretion Smash!!!"

My finisher roared.

Plain body-weighted rear straight punch—but thinking that's all would be wrong.

Packed with resolve to excrete, my fist pierced the dummy's body...

Didn't quite!

But combos!

"Personality... Excretion!"

Smooth one-two!

Thud! Thud!

Clean one-two to the head.

Perfect.

"6 seconds over. 18 points."

18 points?

Thought I misheard. Not 180—18?

Personality Excretion, ultimate attack!

'Dummy immune to excretion?'

Too late realizing the obvious.

'Well, kinda expected it.'

...Serious plot here?

Where's the eroge goddess's handwave plot? 900 million points, dummy explodes to hype protag...

"Next, 30 seconds."

Knowing changes nothing.

Limited moves on dummy.

'Urk!!'

I'm real-combat DPS type!

Anyway, try everything.

"Personality Excretion Dropkick!!"

Dropkick via Yaksha Charge from Goblin Onahole Collection!

Boom!

Aerial accel dropkick nails solar plexus!

Lucky it's a dummy—on a living thing? Inhumane.

Badges galore. Good vibe!

2,000—no, 10,000 points gooo!

"Personality Excretion Calf Kick!"

30 seconds all-out felt eternal.

Caught breath, chained combos calmly.

"30 seconds over. 79 points."

What the—! My DPS!

Moment I realized how fodder I was here.

Spectators seemed to mock me from afar.

'Sniff. Not a protag shine event?'

Why do normal events play so straight?

Not into roommate's trash eroge, but I'm otaku too.

Even as harsh score shook my mentality.

"Next, 2 minutes."

Longest round starts.

Full effort mindset, fists out.

Suuuuuck.

"Breathless Personality Excretion."

Personality Excretion River, Solar Plexus, Corkscrew, Elbow, Flying Knee...

Nonstop no-breath barrage—exhausted like a sprint.

"Huff. Huff."

"2 minutes over. Total 252 points."

Below... Hena...!?

My cute, lovable childhood friend with defenseless jiggling mega-tits.

Outdamages my breathless Personality Excretion flurry by 100 points!?

'Can't accept...!'

"Can't accept the result?"

"......"

Dale tapped the panel.

My eval would go there.

"Didn't take prior tests, but Kim Sanghyeok—I see your mindset's changed."

Praise?

"More skill variety, raise stats. Explore dungeon secrets more aggressively."

S-Rank feedback nailed my flaws.

"Yes, sir!"

"Next!"

Bowed and retreated.

Any protag ego from special treatment? Gone.

Still a total hunter noob.

"How'd it go?"

Took Yuuna's tumbler, replied flatly.

"252 points."

"Good for D-Rank?"

"For D-Rank" stung.

Yuuna shut up, seeing my face.

"Sorry."

"Ego bruised. Next time, 10,000+."

"...Maybe more realistic goals?"

"Realistic. Watch."

I'm at bottom now. But my unique growth curve's real.

Even if via Onahole Collection...

Key: power without raping random women!

"Even top A-Ranks might not hit that..."

"Bet?"

Yuuna flinched defensive.

"Wh-what'll you make me do."

"Apologize for underestimating D-Rank genius Kim Sanghyeok—dogaza style."

"Just ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠humiliating!"

Thought I'd demand tit grope?

Not that low... probably.

"Hena, you?"

"I... think Sanghyeok can do it."

"Hena! Can't just duck out."

"But... he was 8 points before."

8 points...?

"...Huge now. Hehe."

8's like refusing to try.

Big jump. Only childhood friend Hena spots the dramatic change.

From 8 to 252? 10k next—pure faith.

Hena smiled shyly.

"So. I bet on 'he can succeed'."

"Hmm. Fine... I'll help too."

"You, Yuuna?"

"Skilled B-Rank hunter joining party—complaints?"

"Hell no."

Nakamori Yuuna joined the party!

Felt like a message popped.

"But... well."

"Hm?"

Yuuna fidgeted, hard to say.

Ears reddening live.

"What?"

Asked again; trembling voice.

"Number."

"Number?"

"Phone... number..."

Got it, grinned.

Trash criminal yesterday; today, numbers from cuties.

Entered mine in her phone.

"Sent Dungeon Star ID too."

"Where's ours?"

Checks immediately.

"Deleted. Followers +300k overnight."

"Profit?"

"Everyone asking who the guy... Felt like profiting off your face, so nah."

Hm.

Handsome guy life? Chest swells.

"Anyway... I'll text? Kim Sanghyeok."

"Spam away."

So thrilled at my number,

Her cheeks melting joy—couldn't help smiling.

Cheat key's cheat.

Nice staring at two pretties guilt-free.