Pickup
"Please… take responsibility."
"……Wait, Ye-rim…."
Ye-rim's face was close, her fist still clenched in my collar. No matter the angle, she looked just like my sister. The hairstyle was different, sure—but her eyes, her nose, her mouth were carbon copies. Looking at it that way, of course they were. Ye-rim wasn't my niece… she was my daughter.
"……."
The moment my mind went blank, tears began to fall from Ye-rim's eyes, one by one.
"I said take responsibility… Dad."
"……."
I quietly pulled her into my arms, and she held me back as she cried. A secret she could never take to anyone—the shame of a lifetime. Watching her sob without daring to raise her voice, terrified the neighbors might hear, I felt something drive a spike straight through my heart.
Trash.
No—trash wasn't enough. No adjective in the world could cover what I was. I had ruined a child's life, a family, everything.
"I'll take responsibility. No matter what happens, I'll take care of my daughter."
I took her hand as I said it. Now that things had come to this, I had no choice. Until the day she died, I would look after Ye-rim. That was a father's duty—the duty of the man who had brought her into the world.
"……Okay."
My right shoulder grew warm as her breath brushed my ear. For a long while our daughter stayed buried against my chest. Then—
"Don't cling to me…."
—she wiped her tears and gave a shy little smile.
"Goodbye."
"Yeah. Get some rest."
My sister had moved into a jeonse apartment. Surprisingly, the distance from my place to hers was farther than I'd expected, so after lunch I drove Ye-rim home.
"Uncle."
"Hm?"
"…Never mind. It's nothing."
"Okay."
"Ye-rim, you're back?"
"Noona?"
My sister had been about to take out the trash in the parking garage when she spotted us and came over. Standing side by side like that, the resemblance was uncanny. Ye-rim felt like a rougher, unfinished version of her mother.
"What brings you here?"
"Ah… I came to see you, then ran into Ye-rim on the way and gave her a ride."
"Yeah. We just bumped into each other."
"Ah~ Well, since you're here, come up for a cup of tea."
"…Sure, why not."
The lie came out naturally and got us through the moment. Ye-rim played along, matching the mood as she looked at me.
"Oh, my brother-in-law's here?"
"Yes. Hello."
I'd been hoping he wouldn't be home, but the three of us went up together and my brother-in-law came out to greet us.
"Have you eaten?"
"Yes. We already had lunch."
"Ye-rim too?"
"Yeah. I ate… at a friend's place."
"Right."
The four-way face-off grew a little awkward. Back when I didn't know the truth, I'd simply thought of them as my niece's family—but looking at them now, it was a mess so twisted it almost defied belief. My own sister had married another man and given birth to a child who was actually mine. And the first person to reach that truth had been the daughter herself. Even taking a sip of water felt tense.
If ignorance was bliss, I would have downed that medicine right then and there.
"I should get going."
"Why? Stay a little longer."
"No, I've got some work to wrap up…."
"Always so busy…."
"Yeah… well. Better to finish it as soon as I can."
"Right—once the project's done, you're going to propose, wasn't it?"
"Well… that's the plan, for now."
The only woman left in my orbit was Ye-na. If I let this chance slip, I'd probably never get married. Honestly, I'd figured I'd be married before thirty like my sister—but here I was, still single at this age. I could almost understand why Uncle had blown up at me over Chuseok.
"I'll be heading out."
"Alright. Come by again."
"Yeah. See you."
"Uncle."
"Hm?"
Just as I was about to leave, Ye-rim called me back. She took a big step closer and whispered in a small voice.
"You said you'd take responsibility."
"……Yeah."
"Then starting tomorrow, drive me to school."
"To school?"
"Yes."
"…Alright. I probably can't do pickups after school, though—work. Sorry."
"That's fine."
"What are you two whispering about? You've gotten awfully close."
We both startled and put some distance between us. Was my sister going to get suspicious?
"……Nothing. You told me last time to get closer to her, remember?"
"Since when were you the proactive type?"
"When I say I'll do something, I do it."
"Fair enough…."
"I'm really going now."
"Bye~"
"Goodbye."
"……."
Ye-rim waved one last time—and with a clear shape of her mouth, she formed the word Dad.
"Right…."
I'd fallen asleep alone in peace the way I always did, and now I was awake. Dawn had turned into morning; the chirping of sparrows rode a slightly chilly breeze into the room. Today was the day I started driving Ye-rim to school.
"Hoo…."
I rushed through getting ready for work and turned the key in the ignition. Normally I'd grab a simple piece of bread for breakfast, but I was running late, so I skipped it.
"Oh. You're not late."
"A working man has to keep at least this much on schedule."
"True."
I waited near the house, and before long Ye-rim came around the corner and climbed into my car. Cool autumn had just begun; I was in a long-sleeved shirt and a tie, nothing more.
"Here."
"Hm? What's this?"
"It's bread. My favorite kind."
"I can see that, but…."
"I figured you probably came without eating breakfast, so I brought some."
"Oh—thanks. I really didn't eat."
"Honestly… the back of your hair's sticking up, too."
"Ah… is it?"
"And your clothes… sigh…."
Ye-rim reached out as if she might grab my collar again, then straightened my clothes for me. Looking at my faintly reflected face in the windshield, I looked considerably neater.
"You overslept, didn't you?"
"This hour doesn't really count as oversleeping…."
"Ah… office workers start at nine, right?"
"Yeah."
"It'd be nice if school started at nine too…."
"Then you'd get home later."
"That's true."
We made small talk, and before I knew it we'd arrived at school. I deliberately drove a little past the main gate before letting her out.
"Have a good day."
"Huh? I'm not going to your place today."
"No… I meant school."
"Okay. Have a good day at work… Dad."
"……."
She called me Dad, shyly, then ran off just like that. For the first time in a long while the passenger seat still held the scent of a high-school girl as I headed to work myself.
"Oppa. You're coming from the other direction today?"
"Ah. Yeah."
"…Who were you with?"
"Just dropping my niece off."
"Your niece… ah, Ye-rim?"
After dropping Ye-rim off, I went to pick up Ye-na. Her subway station was pretty far, so I always drove her that far.
"Hmm~ Maybe I should switch to this perfume. What do you think?"
"Perfume…?"
"Yeah. Wherever Ye-rim was sitting smells really nice."
"Sniff sniff."
"……Be honest. You can't tell, can you."
"Yeah…."
These days even guys wore deodorant or cologne, but unless someone explained what a scent was, all I could register was that it smelled good—I couldn't tell the difference.
"Smell it properly."
"Umm…."
Her brown wavy hair brushed my shoulder, and Ye-na's scent came through strong enough to almost erase Ye-rim's. I could tell they were different, sure—but which one was better, I had no idea.
"I think you're fine as you are?"
"Really? Wait, what's this bread?"
"Ye-rim gave it to me."
"…She's so sweet~ Looking after Oppa's breakfast and everything."
"Didn't you bring something too?"
"Caught me?"
"Your bag's that stuffed—how was I supposed to miss it?"
"Hehe."
While we waited at a light, Ye-na shyly handed me a round foil-wrapped package. By the weight, it was an onigiri.
"Bread's fine, but eat some rice too. I made it with tuna mayo—your favorite."
"Oh~ You made it yourself? Thanks. What about yours?"
"I already ate before I left~ Drop me here."
"Have a good day."
"You too, Oppa."
Along with the goodbye, a soft touch brushed my right cheek. Blood rushed downward for no good reason as I watched her go.
"Hoo…."
Honestly, I'd been on edge the whole time. Afraid the words Ye-rim is actually my daughter might slip out of my mouth.
"Here."
"Thanks."
Day after day of freeloading bread off Ye-rim. My body had gotten so used to it that I didn't even bother trying to eat breakfast on my own anymore.
"Uncle."
"Hm?"
"You're not deliberately skipping breakfast just because I give you bread every day, are you?"
"Uh……."
"Sigh…."
The look on my face said she'd hit the bullseye, and Ye-rim glared at me. Muttering that it was her own fault for spoiling me every day, she buckled her seatbelt.
"Well… my girlfriend's been making me onigiri lately."
"…What? Onigiri? She makes them herself?"
"Yeah. Between the onigiri and the bread, breakfast's pretty solid."
"…Why didn't you say you were already eating? Now I look like I got all worked up over nothing."
"It just… happened that the first day she brought onigiri was the same day you gave me bread."
"Do you pick her up too?"
"Yeah. Her place is far from the station."
"What a model boyfriend."
"……."
Ye-rim made a sour face and gave a little cough, as if telling me to start driving.
"……I guess you don't need bread anymore. You've got someone making you rice—I was sticking my nose in for no reason. Sorry."
Her tone was thick with hurt. When I snuck a glance, she was staring out the window, refusing to show me her face.
"Huh? No. Do you know how grateful I am for the bread? There are more days I don't get the onigiri than days I do."
"It's fine… it's obvious you're just saying that."
"I'm serious……."
"No wonder I kept smelling perfume."
"Hm?"
"Talking to myself."
After that, Ye-rim didn't open her mouth. Normally she'd mess with her phone on the way and toss out a line here and there—but the quiet felt nice for a moment, then left me feeling like I'd done something wrong, and I felt bad.
"She doesn't bring water, does she…?"
"Hm?"
"That person. She doesn't pack you a drink?"
"Um… yeah. Doesn't seem like it."
"I see…."
A little later we arrived at school. I pulled over at the usual spot, and Ye-rim unbuckled her seatbelt, then hesitated before speaking.
"…Our school festival is tomorrow."
"Ah~ So that season's already here."
A high-school festival. These days the student body was smaller and a lot of them had been scaled back, but it was still the biggest event on campus. Back in my day each class ran a booth, or brought in bands and guest performers. Being on the broadcast club had been the best part—you got to see the guest students up close.
"If you're free… you could come."
"What time does it end? Are outsiders even allowed?"
"Yes. It's fine. It'll wrap up around four, I think?"
"Hmm… alright. If I can make the time, I'll stop by."
"……Okay."
"Have a good day."
"You too… Unc—Dad."
"Yeah…."
Her mood seemed to have lifted; Ye-rim skipped off the way she always did, and her expression looked just a little brighter than usual.