The Date That Wasn't (And Its Catastrophic Ending)
The final stop on any proper outing—especially one that was absolutely, positively not a date—should always be…
Lewis Goldson
Lewis Goldson, the second son of the Goldson Marquis family, was currently…
“Gaaaaaaaaaah!!”
Splat! Splurch… Plop…!
He was suffering from a truly catastrophic case of diarrhea.
“Ughhh…”
With trembling legs, he staggered out of the bathroom. A waiting mage immediately raised a hand, and soft light poured forth. The gentle glow wrapped around Lewis’s lower body, and the gut-wrenching pain that had felt like it would tear him apart slowly subsided.
This healing magic could erase wounds and agony in an instant, but it wasn’t without limits. Healing magic always demanded a price. It consumed not only the caster’s mana, but the recipient’s life force as well. Naturally, it wasn’t something one could spam recklessly, yet to Lewis right now, it was more precious than anything else in the world.
Still feeling the lingering sting, Lewis collapsed onto the sofa in an awkward position and looked at the maid who had recently begun living with him.
“What happened with calling a priest? What did the Holy Kingdom say?”
The maid hesitated before answering.
“Um… they said the priests are very busy right now and demanded double the usual fee…”
“Why the hell are priests busy?! Did a war break out or something?! A country where over half the population are priests—what kind of excuse is that?!”
“I-I’m sorry!”
“Haa… Fine. No matter how much it costs, get a priest here. Make sure it’s one capable of removing curses.”
“Y-yes! I’ll relay the message right away!”
Lewis watched the maid scamper off with a look of utter disdain, then turned his gaze to the bowl of porridge sitting in front of him. It had been ground and re-ground into a thin gruel to make it as easy to digest as possible, but it tasted nothing like the luxurious meals that usually filled his breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
“Goddamn it…”
Still, he had no choice but to eat. With his digestion completely wrecked, nutrition was the most important thing right now.
Gulp, gulp.
“Ugh…”
The flavor was so awful it felt like he was swallowing muddy water. His face twisted involuntarily.
When people are in pain, they naturally think about the cause first. And Lewis recalled the scene he thought about several times every single day.
It had definitely started out well enough. The guy who always got beaten up by him had suddenly shown up with a familiar, drawing everyone’s attention. That cat-like familiar had split the training ground in half with a horrifying beam of light, but Lewis refused to accept it. There had to be some trick. There was no way that worthless troll could have gotten so lucky.
Brainwashing himself with that belief, Lewis waited for his chance. The moment he judged the familiar’s power must have run out, he immediately challenged Arthur to a duel.
But less than thirty seconds after the duel began—
“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!”
Crack… Splurt… Splurch…
That was the day his school life effectively ended.
Having publicly shit and pissed himself in front of everyone, the humiliation made him dream of revenge. But the problem was…
“Why is it still—!”
The moment his stomach sent another warning, he sprinted for the bathroom.
Splurch… Splurt…
“Uuuuuuuugh!!”
It had been several days since his stomach first started hurting. Anyone could tell who was responsible. That mana-less, orphan commoner trash. The only thing he had going for him was a body that recovered like some damn troll.
Grind.
Clenching his teeth, Lewis spat out the name.
“Arthur…!”
Just thinking of that face made his insides churn violently.
“Uuuuugh!!”
Splatter…
For the first day or so, he had thought about revenge. Now, he simply prayed for this nightmare to end. Even the academy’s supposedly excellent infirmary couldn’t treat the symptoms. They called it closer to a curse than an illness.
He had even called in a priest to lift the curse, but those damned holy bastards were too busy stuffing their own bellies to care about someone else’s suffering.
Emerging from the bathroom once again, Lewis stared blankly at the gruel.
This can’t go on. At this rate, I’ll be the one who dies first.
Whether mentally or physically, he had reached his limit. He needed some way to recover. The physical issues would be handled once the priest arrived. So if he could just take care of the mental side…
“Hey.”
He called over the mage who had cast the healing spell on him.
“Can you use pain-suppression magic too?”
At the very least, it would clean the foul taste of that cursed porridge off his tongue. With that resolve, he swallowed the temporary medicine the infirmary had given him and headed to his usual restaurant.
“It’s been a while, Young Master Lewis.”
“The usual.”
As he strode forward with his usual arrogant gait, a staff member blocked his path.
“I’m terribly sorry. The suite is currently occupied by another guest…”
“What? You gave my room to someone else?”
“My apologies.”
“Hey, you want to get fired? Do you even know who owns this building?”
“B-but…”
Lewis shoved the hesitant employee aside and stormed toward the suite with heavy footsteps.
“Young Master Lewis, please…”
“Shut up! I’m saying I’ll eat in my own room. Is there a problem with that?”
He violently flung open the closed door to the suite.
Bang!
“Who the hell do you think you are, taking over my swee—… Huh?”
The person inside the room was…
“…Lewis?”
The moment Lewis saw him, it felt like all the blood in his body had frozen solid. At the same time—
Gurgle…
His stomach sent another urgent signal.
I stared in utter bewilderment at Lewis, who had just violently thrown the door open. His face had gone completely stiff.
“……”
“……”
A brief silence passed between us.
“…Enjoy your meal.”
“???”
Lewis just said something nice?!
My mouth hung open in shock as Lewis quietly—almost timidly—closed the door. Completely different from how he had entered.
Once again left alone in the room with Lilith, I couldn’t even form proper words.
“W-wait… No way… Lewis?!”
It would be easier to believe that Lewis’s skin had turned pure white than to accept what I had just witnessed.
“Lewis said something nice to me?!”
The world I believed in that day completely collapsed. This had to be a different dimension. It must be the rarest dimension in the entire universe—one where Lewis was actually kind.
Something was suddenly shoved into my still-gaping mouth. Startled out of my thoughts, I instinctively began to chew. It was meat. The perfectly seasoned, savory flavor brought my wandering mind crashing back to reality.
“That curse really is terrifying. How can a person change that drastically?”
“Hehe, curses were originally created to torment others, after all. There’s no power that can overcome them in that particular field.”
“…Lilith. Can’t I learn a curse too?”
Seeing the completely transformed Lewis, it was only natural for my heart to be swayed. But—
“No. If you handle curses wrong, even the user can get seriously hurt. Besides, why would you need to learn one when you have me?”
She was right. No matter how hard I studied, I’d never be as good as Lilith. In that case, it would be far easier to just ask her whenever I needed one.
“Here, this is the last one. Ah~”
After the final piece of meat Lilith offered me, the main course was over. Then came a parade of desserts so sweet they made my teeth ache just looking at them. This time, Lilith actively joined in eating as well.
That was when I noticed a bit of white cream smeared on the corner of her mouth. She didn’t seem to realize it was there.
“Lilith. Look at me for a second?”
“Mmm?”
I reached out and gently cupped her cheek as she nibbled on a cookie. I wiped the cream away with my thumb and naturally brought it toward my own mouth—
Whoa?! What the hell am I doing? Why am I trying to eat it so casually?!
I panicked and was about to wipe it off with a tissue instead when—
“Nom~”
Lilith suddenly took my entire finger into her mouth.
Even though it had happened several times before, I still couldn’t prepare myself for it.
“Mmm~”
The sight of Lilith happily sucking on my finger was so adorable that, without thinking, my hand moved to her head.
Pat, pat.
At my action, Lilith froze solid like a statue. Her reaction made my own body stiffen as well.
“……”
“…Sorry.”
She had looked so unbearably cute that I’d unconsciously stroked her head the same way I would pet her when she was in cat form.
“Why did you pat me?”
“…Because you were too cute…”
“Who?”
“…Lilith.”
I couldn’t bring myself to look directly at her, so I turned my head away. A suffocating silence followed.
“Really?”
“…Yes?”
“You really think I’m… cute?”
Lilith asked while slightly tilting her head up to look at me. Her eyes sparkled brilliantly under the soft glow of the magic lamps. The moment our gazes met, I answered without hesitation.
“Yes. You’re cute.”
“…How much?”
“This much.”
I leaned in, pressing my lips against hers, and we toppled over with me essentially pinning Lilith beneath me.
“Mmm… Slurp… Chuu…”
Except for the occasional moments we came up for air, I kissed her long and deep—so she would truly understand just how dangerously adorable she was.
Several minutes later.
“Haa… Haa…”
I pulled back, a thin silver strand of saliva connecting our lips, and flinched. The expression on Lilith’s face as she lay beneath me was one I had never seen before. Embarrassment, love, and…
“Haa… Haa…”
A burning, heated gaze directed straight at me. The look in my own eyes reflected in hers was no different. The moment we instinctively understood each other’s desires and began to close the distance once more—
Knock knock knock.
“Excuse me? We’ll be closing soon, so we need to clear the restaurant. I’m very sorry, but could you please come out now?”
We stared at each other for a moment. The mood had cooled slightly, but the spark hadn’t died. A small flame, ready to roar back to life at any moment. The question was whether we would fan it here, or…
I don’t want to stop here… But…
When I tried to pull away, Lilith grabbed my collar.
“Lilith.”
“……”
“Let’s leave for now.”
When I gently created some distance, her hand fell away limply. I took that hand firmly in mine and helped her up. After sharing one last lingering look, we left the room together.
After receiving the staff’s polite farewells, we stepped out onto the street, which had already grown half-dark. A cool breeze wrapped around us, naturally carrying away the heat from earlier.
We looked at each other. What followed the fading of that intense heat was an awkward atmosphere.
“……”
“……”
I noticed that Lilith’s ears had turned a bright red.
“Um… Shall we head back?”
I forced myself to speak, but Lilith kept her head bowed and remained silent. As I waited through that uncomfortable quiet, I heard her small voice mumble something.
“……?”
“Sorry? I couldn’t hear you.”
Lilith took a deep breath, then spoke again, this time loud enough to hear clearly.
“Do we really have to go back today?”
“…Pardon?”
When I came back to my senses, I was sitting on an expensive-looking bed.
Expensive-looking. That’s right. This wasn’t my dorm room. It was a luxury lodging facility near the restaurant. I looked around in a daze and noticed luxurious blackout curtains, soft lighting, an incredibly plush bed, and even a sign that said Soundproofing magic applied.
Yeah. This definitely wasn’t an ordinary place to stay. It was clearly… a place meant for that kind of purpose.
That was when a sound broke through my thoughts.
Shhhhhhh.
The sound of running water. Someone was showering in the bathroom. And obviously, that someone was Lilith.
………Wait.
……Wait.
Wait?
…Wait?
Wait, wait, wait?
How the hell did things end up like this?