Since I Have No Writing Talent, I'll Just Hire a Ghostwriter
"Tch, that insufferably arrogant man."
Some filthy commoner whose origins no one even knows, barking orders at us nobles like he's hot shit. It's downright laughable. Sure, the nominal class system might be gone on paper, and institutionally there might be no difference between us and that guy anymore, but that doesn't make lowly blood noble or noble blood lowly. Seeing him strut around cluelessly like the sky's the limit just pisses me off.
...Of course, I have to admit that guy has something setting him apart from your average plebs. That massive, towering cock proving the title of massive penis special admit isn't just hype. The moment I laid eyes on it, my womanly parts started throbbing—I can't deny that.
But so what? Just like your mouth waters at the sight of delicious food, your pussy gets wet for a hot cock. It's natural law. You can't control natural instincts with your body. So there's nothing to be ashamed of. What you should be ashamed of is losing control of your appetite and pigging out like a glutton.
"From that angle, the future of the Sharshara family looks pretty grim. The eldest daughter of the house, kneeling at a commoner's feet without a shred of shame."
The second that cock was bared, she starts shaking her ass like a bitch in heat, trying to glom onto it. No way you could call that noble. Pure trash, that's what it was.
Fumina losing her self-control is unseemly but understandable. No matter how talented she is, that bloodline's commoner stock. But the lady of the Sharshara family—ranked even higher than us Granils—doing that shit? No matter how noble your blood, without the actions to back it up, you're no different from the rabble. She needs to learn that.
"Which means the noblest existence in the Literature Club is none other than me, Patricia Granil."
Obvious fact. So it's my duty to boot that filthy Lazar or whatever out of the Literature Club as fast as possible. It's absurd from the start. A commoner acting all high and mighty, trying to teach us? He admits he's only ever enjoyed lowbrow crap like manga, yet he shamelessly assigns us homework? What kind of ridiculous nonsense is this?
And it's training lit with himself as the subject? That bullshit...
"I can read just fine, but writing? No talent for it..."
Liking literature doesn't mean you're good at producing it—that's a huge misconception. Like thinking you can cook gourmet just 'cause you love eating it. Sure, compared to total newbies, I've got more access and data piled up, so I could do better than average. But everyone has their aptitudes and talents. Even pulling up all that training lit data I've accumulated, the second I grab a pen, a blank void stares back from the page.
"It's not like I even crave that 'literary sensitivity' bullshit he keeps yapping about."
Obviously. I don't fantasize about having my pussy jackhammered by that grotesque monster until my juices spray everywhere and I cum my brains out. I don't dream of slurping up his steaming cock fresh from deflowering some virgin pussy. This is just... just groundwork to humiliate him. I'll whip up training lit that nails his standards perfectly, then reject his so-called reward right to his face. Declare I don't need his dirty prize and watch him squirm. What greater humiliation for a guy who thinks he's all that? None!
...But great plan and all, my writing chops couldn't back it up.
"N-No rule said I had to take first place or anything."
He said the reward goes to whoever writes something "especially hot." No limit on numbers, right? So I don't have to outdo every other girl.
...Except some girls in the Literature Club aren't just good at reading and analyzing—they've got real writing talent too. They could overshadow my entry easy.
...So only one option left, huh.
"Gotta hire a ghostwriter."
※ Don't get the wrong idea. It's not like my skills are lacking, so I'm resorting to a ghostwriter. Give me time and effort, and I could bloom literary talent beyond the masses. How could my noble blood share the same gifts as average trash? But as a noble, I have duties to invest that time elsewhere. So using a ghostwriter? Unavoidable. Everyone has their proper place.
Obviously, I'll go for the best ghostwriter I can snag right now.
"Ahem, ahem."
I knock lightly twice on the closed door. The key is announcing my presence clearly without rushing them.
Soon enough, the door opens, and Fumina greets me.
"Ah, hello, Lady Patricia. I've been waiting."
"...Yes. Hello, Fumina."
The door barely cracks, and a thick female musk pours out into the cool air. Her puffy nipples and slick thighs say she was just going to town on some pussy play. Normally, I'd hate that bitch-in-heat stench... but today, that oddly sweet scent wasn't half bad.
"P-Please, come in. Sorry, I knew you were coming, so I should've cleaned up more... but I lost track of time masturbating like a slut."
"...No, it's fine. What you do in your own room is your business, right?"
She warned me ahead, but still showing up unprepared is kinda rude. Whatever— not the issue today, so I'll let it slide.
Following her lead into the room, the first thing that catches my eye is the grotesque cock dildo propped on the bed. Still dripping sticky pussy juice from recently plugging Fumina's hole—it's magnetic.
"...Looks like you were using that, huh?"
"Ah, y-yeah... Kinda embarrassing. Ehehe, ever since Lazar deflowered my pussy, nothing less than this satisfies it anymore. Hehe, and this is nothing compared to the real Lazar's cock, but he's busy, you know."
Fumina's lips hang slack, drooling. What the hell makes that massive penis so great that she's grinning like an idiot, spilling her masturbation habits without shame? This is why commoner blood sucks.
"...Ahem. But is that massive penis really all that? I wouldn't know. W-Well, sure, its sheer size was kinda compelling..."
"Ahh... Yeah, you might think that. You don't get it till you've had your pussy eaten by a real one. Virgin pussies can't tell fake orgasms from real ones."
"F-Fake... orgasm?"
"Yep! I learned women can only truly cum when a massive penis pounds their pussy. No matter how hard you finger yourself, it's all fake. It's in all the training lit, right?"
True, but I figured that was just novelistic exaggeration...
...Not that I'm super curious, but for safety's sake, maybe ask.
"B-But what's a real orgasm like? Honestly, even his dick seems small compared to that replica."
"Ah, replicas are just fakes. No matter how impressive they look, they can't match a real cock's dignity. A real one's orgasm... yeah~ it's like it flips your entire worldview as a woman upside down. You finally get why every heroine in the novels submits to the massive cock without fail♥"
Fumina cups her cheeks, drooling like she's reliving yesterday. Totally drowned in that pleasure. Makes sense—she was squealing like a pig in heat from behind yesterday, cumming like a mess. Commoner blood must be weak to pleasure.
"Hmph. I see. Sounds suspicious, but maybe I should experience a real one sometime."
Can't dismiss it as trash without trying, or it lacks punch. Not 'cause I'm curious about getting my pussy wrecked by that massive cock.
"Ahem! Anyway, let's get to the point early."
Normally, blurting it out like this is tacky, but dawdle and other girls might swarm her—trouble. And against a commoner like Fumina, full etiquette's optional anyway.
"I came to hire you as my ghostwriter."
"Ghostwriter?"
"Yes. We're reconvening for club in a week, right? For the training lit to show that guy. I want you to write mine."
"Ah..."
She gets it by now. But she hesitates, face uneasy.
"B-But I have to write mine by then too... Might be tough."
Hm, playing hardball? I expected as much.
"Didn't you already get his so-called 'literary sensitivity'? Demanding more sounds a bit... 'immoderate,' doesn't it?"
And don't the immoderate deserve proper discipline?
"Uuuu..."
Fumina mumbles, lips twitching like she's got a lot to say. So what? I'm not wrong.
Then her face lights up.
"Ah!"
Like she just realized something, she blinks, then beams and accepts.
"Okay! I'll ghostwrite Lady Patricia's training lit!"
Smoother than expected. Was ready to crank the pressure, but this works fine for me.
"But to write training lit about you, I'll need details on your sex life and habits. Mind an interview?"
"S-Sex life?"
Wasn't in the plan...
"Lazar said 'training lit based on yourself,' right? This is basics. What do you say?"
"...Well, if it's just that."
Fine. Nothing shady on my end, so an interview's no biggie. Totally, completely fine!