Nanny

"Nanny" [noun] A woman who takes care of and teaches young children in facilities like daycare centers or nurseries... No need to ask if that's the dictionary definition of nanny, right? What I really want to know is, "...I'm not a kid anymore, Mom?"

What do you mean, kid? I'm a strapping adult from South Korea—aged appropriately, grown to full height, and wise beyond my years.

But honestly, that's just the tip of the iceberg. I've got mountains of questions, complaints, and grievances piling up.

"More importantly, a nanny's on the way? What do you mean 'on the way'? How? From where? Can constellations even do that?"

My desperate voice echoed mournfully through the silent cave.

Mom's straight-up ignoring her own son...

"That's so sneaky—changing the subject right when I need answers?!"

Poof! The hologram message vanished like a monitor powering down.

Whoooosh~ A chill wind swept through somewhere, lonely and desolate.

A polite way of saying she had zero grams of interest in responding.

Damn. That's cold.

Clearing the dungeon is priority one, but this nanny thing's gnawing at me. I can't stand the anxiety of whatever's coming in 11 hours, 58 minutes, and 34 seconds...!

Rattle! Rattle!

The skeletons, fresh from their heartfelt bonding session, patted my slumped shoulders sympathetically.

...Never thought I'd live to get comforted by bones. My life...

***

To clear the dungeon, I had to subdue the "Lord of Death" slumbering somewhere in this sanctuary.

Somewhere in the sanctuary. In other words, the exact spot where the Lord of Death was napping was a secret.

Intruders had to find the objective themselves—an extremely user-unfriendly setup.

So, was this place designed like a standard dungeon, with a straight linear path leading naturally to the boss?

"This thing's a goddamn maze."

The answer was no. It was a perfect labyrinth, no room for debate.

Less than five minutes in, I'd hit three forks already. And skeletons popping out for surprise attacks whenever things got dull? Bonus feature.

Plus that demonic one-hour time limit! This dungeon screamed extreme difficulty.

But.

"La la la~ ♬"

I strolled along peacefully, like Citizen A in the park.

Forks? No problem—the skeletons, mistaking me for their king, were kindly guiding me.

"Haha, got it, ladies. I'm not going anywhere, so no need to fuss."

They were even grabbing my hands, urging me onward. This wasn't dungeon crawling—it felt like a date with my lovers.

Reality: bones. But whatever.

Thanks to my adorable guides' diligent directions, I reached the objective in just five minutes.

"This must be it."

The wide-open highway dead-ended. Navigation error? Nah.

These smart bones had done their job perfectly. Proof: a massive dragon statue, several times taller than an adult man's head, blocking my path.

Lee Chan-hyuk once said: "Not long after, a bizarre statue appeared before me. A dragon-shaped one, straight out of a big-budget Hollywood flick. I panicked, thinking I'd taken a wrong turn, when suddenly light burst from the statue's dragon head."

Whoosh! Blinding light shot from the deeply recessed eye sockets of the statue, like a demon's glare.

Everything matched Lee Chan-hyuk's vivid testimony, one to ten.

"Man, I should swing by Lee Chan-hyuk later and say thanks properly."

What came next?

Roar! The ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠menacing dragon statue's eyes flashed, then its gaping maw spewed flames, scorching the area.

Walls, floor, ceiling... As the inferno raged, a hidden space gradually revealed itself.

Like a curtain lifting to expose what lay beyond.

"Even knowing it's coming, it's still impressive..."

Soon, the dim cave vanished, replaced by—

A crimson world. A sea of lava, blood-red...

"Whoa."

If the whole Earth sank into fire, would it look like this? Flames devoured heaven and earth.

"...A bit too toasty for a bedroom, huh?"

Somewhere in this blazing world, the homeowner—Pafnir or whatever—napped. Didn't matter.

What mattered was the thing behind me now.

It was so repulsive even Mom broke her silence to show disgust.

"Yeah, definitely creepy."

Dark, murky water like shadows trickled along. Could you even call this a lake? By normal human aesthetics, "abyss" fit better.

The real issue came next, though.

"Ugh..."

Splash. I ignored the visceral revulsion rising from my bones and dipped my foot into the abyss.

The moment I did—

Groooaa!

Graaaah!

"Uwaaa... F-fuck..."

Curses spilled out as chills raced up my spine. Rotten hands bursting from the surface, decayed to the bone, grabbing at me—how could you not swear?

What was Lee Chan-hyuk thinking, stepping into this? Braver than the first guy to milk a cow.

Even amid stray thoughts, the rotten hands slithered up like worms, covering my body.

Then, as I desperately fought nausea, a message appeared.

Eureka! My grip tightened on the longsword's hilt without thinking.

Revulsion? Dust compared to the thrill of achievement!

I didn't know what the Lake of Destiny really was. Not even foreseer Lee Chan-hyuk did.

But two things were certain.

One: the lake recognized me—wielding a rusty longsword—as "king" and offered tribute.

Two: that tribute was the holy sword that rocketed mediocre Lee Chan-hyuk to stardom!

Awesome.

The image of sword beams sweeping monsters like leaves was burned into my brain. The owner just stood there dumbfounded while the sword soloed everything.

No wonder people joked the sword swung him, not vice versa.

Now it's my turn!

Sorry about this, Mr. Lee Chan-hyuk. I'll bring fruit next time, haha.

10 seconds left!

Lee Chan-hyuk said swinging the holy sword split earth and sky, revealing the exit. Real or sugarcoated? Time to see.

"Time for countdown? Ten..."

BOOM!

"Ten...?!"

The sky collapsed. Literally.

***

Five minutes earlier.

"That goddamn guild master asshole! Values his own life but treats ours like trash! Why send us in? I oughta split his skull with an axe!"

"Once we're out safe, let's all quit together, boss."

"Hell yeah! I'll shove my resignation right in that prick's face!"

Volt's vice-guild master and his burly goons vented their rage, thrust into the jaws of death.

Why call this monster-free dungeon a "death trap"? Simple.

"Just thinking of those squad bodies at the entrance makes me wanna puke. Bad vibes all around."

"Shut your jinxing mouth, kid! Keep whining and wait here alone!"

Their first sight upon entering: the first vanguard team's gruesome corpses, scattered like dog shit on the street.

Flesh torn to shreds, like savaged by dozens of hounds! Goosebumps just recalling it.

"Fuck. That Hwang Jae-min bastard. What the hell did he do? Didn't look strong enough to wipe our guys..."

"I'm more shocked there's actually a dungeon in that knothole. How'd he know?"

"Beats me. We'll torture it out of him later. Bastard's after something here too."

To shake fear, the burly men chatted idly, dragging reluctant feet forward.

The dungeon was a twisted pervert of a maze, but tracking the target was easy.

Tracking skill Enemy Search lit faint footprints like lanterns.

Just follow. Piece of cake.

"If not for Hwang Jae-min, we wouldn't be here. Just wait—he'll regret it. Suck him dry, then skin him alive."

They didn't know how Jae-min wiped the first team, but elite they were—not going down easy!

The vice-guild master and goons pressed on, steeling nerves.

...For about five minutes.

At the trail's end?

"Fuck! What...?!"

"Crazy! Why're all the skeletons clustered here?!"

"Dragonkin skeletons too!"

Dragon-headed skeletons huddled before the mysterious statue. Fresh blood dripping from their dark skulls screamed: We massacred your first team.

"Where's Hwang Jae-min?!"

"F-footprints end here—dead end ahead!"

Bolt from the blue. The vice-guild master made a profoundly unwise call.

"Battle stations—!"

"Shouldn't we run?!"

"We came this far—no running! Fight to the death, you fucks!"

The goons, compelled, armed up through tears.

Skeletons charged like beasts upon spotting intruders.

Roar!

"These bone bastards...!"

The vice-guild master hurled a fireball, infused with power, slicing air at blinding speed.

But—

Whoosh! Skeletons dodged by tilting heads aside.

Strictly speaking, a blatant mistake. For both sides.

"Huh...?!"

The dodging skeleton glanced back—

BOOM!

The fireball slammed the statue's center like a hand grenade.

Explosive roar—statue ignited, crumbling.

If mere decoration, just a clumsy misfire. But—

Reality's harsh.

BOOM!

"Wh-what...?!"

"Uwaaaah—!"

Rumble! The lava sea collapsed like a demolition site. Stalactite ceiling crumbled, floor caved—chaos!

"...?!"

Goons and skeletons plummeted into the void, gravity unrelenting.

Roar!

Roar! A blazing crimson inferno welcomed them.

"Brace for impact—!"

Goons mana-shielded just before ground hit. Most landed unscathed, but—

Splash!

Some weren't so lucky.

Groooaa!

"Uwaak...?! Mmph—?!"

The unlucky plunged into the indistinguishable swamp-abyss, suffering greatly.

Groooaa! Rotten hands shredded the uninvited guests.

Hearing dying screams, the vice-guild master whipped around in horror.

And there—

"Wh-why the hell are you here?!"

"That's my line, you bastards! Ruining my perfectly good meal now?!"

Jae-min, clutching his rusty longsword indignantly.

***

"Goddamn it!"

The sky caved suddenly, people rained down—I dropped the sword in shock.

Otherwise, I'd be under some nameless thug's ass, blood pouring from my skull.

Reincarnated just to die lame? No way.

"Heh... Lucky us. Hwang Jae-min, you bastard—we meet again. Hand over nicely our—"

"Can you shut the fuck up? Can't you see ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠I'm about to explode?"

Just 10 seconds later, you walking sweet potatoes!

This isn't "no retries," is it? I grabbed the hilt—why no message? Please, Mom, God...!

"Phew...!"

Fate hadn't abandoned me yet. Heart nearly stopped.

Problem: no continues. Back to square one... Blood pressure rising. Fuck.

Bigger issue: these walking sweet potatoes.

"Still haven't figured it out? I'll rip your jaw off. Crawl out already!"

Could I survive 60 seconds undisturbed? Hands stuck to sword—no movement possible...

Driving me insane.

"Ignoring me? Hate to come out? Fine, stay put. I'll roast that smug head nice and crispy."

Roar! Flames erupted from the sweet potato's hands.

Planning ranged attacks without entering the lake.

"Mom...!"

Right then, a skill ball descended like a lifeline from the sky.

As expected from my mom!

C-rank shield skill? That's a full minute easy!

Actually less. Countdown just hit 40 seconds.

I gulped the skill ball and deployed the force shield pronto.

ZZZing! A translucent barrier walled me off—just as—

"Die—!"

The sweet potato snarled, swinging his fireball hand.

Or tried to.

BOOM! Crimson lightning crashed behind the trash.

Shockwave erupted from the strike point.

Crash!

"Ugh...?!"

My C-rank shield shattered pathetically from that alone.

The sweet potato paused, glancing at the lightning.

And a chilling voice echoed: Do you know what ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠this body hates most?

All eyes turned. Dust cleared, revealing a giant rising leisurely.

Do you know what this body despises as much as encroaching mortality? You lot.

Flames filling heaven and earth surged like meeting wind. To me, they trembled in fear.

The flames' quiver became the world's spasm.

The world convulsed. By the dragon-headed giant.

Waking from sleep.

The system-certified Lord of Death.

Pafnir descended.