My Mom is My Constellation
“……How the hell am I supposed to get out of this goddamn mess?”
No matter how you look at it, there's no way out, so just give up, advises the Central Plains Sword God!
“No, is that what you're supposed to say—you—gah!?”
I retched up a mouthful of blood surging up my throat. Since I was sprawled out flat on my back, it splattered right across my face.
That had to mean the lethal dose of poison was finally doing its job.
The moment I entered this pitch-black void where I couldn't see an inch ahead, I got caught in a poison fog out of nowhere. When I came to, this ridiculous situation was unfolding.
Why? I didn't remember anything like this in the reports from the investigation team.
They say the unlucky ones crack their noses even when they fall on their backs. Guess that's me.
So, desperate to survive a bit longer, I sent an SOS to my assigned constellation—the Central Plains Sword God.
In the next life, contract with a better constellation, mutters the Central Plains Sword God!
Insane. It was my fault for spending my whole life as a loyal agent to a bastard like that.
You'd think he'd toss me at least one skill or item for detoxification, but no—just bullshit like that.
If there's no way, just die? Is that the advice a constellation gives their agent?
“Hurk…!”
Blood rushing to my head made my chest tighten, forcing out a gasp. Agonizing pain tore through my brain like it was being shredded into a thousand pieces, dizziness crashing over me.
At some point, I realized blood was streaming from my ears and nose too.
Seven orifices bleeding like in some wuxia novel—it was actually happening. For real…
Were my nerves paralyzed too? My whole body was rigid; I couldn't even crawl to the cavern entrance.
“Ah…”
Now it was sinking in. My chances of surviving this were zero percent.
Death. The weight of that short word crushed my cooling body like a lump of lead.
Even as my consciousness faded, tears welled up from sheer terror.
Thinking this cold cave—where no one would even hear my last words—would be my grave made me want to scream in frustration.
…Still.
That damn Central Plains Sword God. The bastard wouldn't help me to the very end.
“You son of a—cough! I'll rip you apart—urk!?”
In my final moments, I decided to unload curses instead of last words. Aimed at that goddamn constellation bastard who treated his lifelong loyal agent like a used rag the second things got rough.
“Hey, you fucker! You call yourself my constellation after that?! Can you hear me?! Huh?! Then get your ass out here! I'll sew up that mouth that only shits!”
Every word, every syllable brought a gush of blood from my mouth like a burst pipe.
Whatever. I was dying anyway; a few more drops wouldn't change shit.
Better to vent my stress than grovel till the end.
I flipped off the ceiling, imagining the starry sky beyond.
“You stingy prick, strutting around after tossing me some worthless scraps, but when it counts? What, no answer so just give up? How'd a cheap bastard like you even survive? Homeschooled in being an asshole—”
Then, something I'd never say slipped out—a vulgar burn I wouldn't normally touch.
Or tried to.
A newly intruding constellation imposes a speech restriction on the agent's language activity!
My vocal cords seized up like they'd short-circuited; the curses backed up in my throat wouldn't come out.
That damn bastard. Now he was blatantly crossing the line…
“……”
Wait. Hold on. What?
…A newly intruding constellation?
No other constellation had messaged me besides that Central Plains Sword God asshole.
But this…
Who the hell are you flipping off right now, you ungrateful punk? fumes the newly intruding constellation!
What the—?
As confusion gripped me, my heart thudded—thump!
“……!”
“Haaahk?!”
I bolted upright in a spasm. My heart pounded like it would burst.
I clutched my chest on reflex.
“Wha? Wh-what?”
I was shocked that my heart was even beating. And somehow, I was alive.
But when I realized this was my room, I nearly fainted in disbelief.
“N-no way…”
I snatched my smartphone from beside the pillow and checked the date.
The day I first sensed a constellation's presence and awakened—if my memory was right.
I couldn't tell if this was a dream or reality, but the words slipped out anyway.
“Did I… regress?”
Yes, confirms the newly assigned constellation with a first greeting!
A translucent hologram window popped up with a ding, blocking my view—no warning, same format and font as always when a constellation sent intent.
I was certain. I'd gone back three years.
Realizing it didn't shake off the daze, though. After sitting blankly on the bed for a minute, my first move was to curse.
“You fucker, you're the Central Plains Sword God, right?”
He'd boldly confirmed the regression question. Meaning he knew my situation.
So he'd know exactly why I was cursing him out of the gate.
“Get lost, you worthless sack of shit! I don't wanna talk to you! Refund! Bring someone else! If I spend this life with you too, regression or not, I'll get cancer and drop dead—”
I'm not the Central Plains Sword God, protests the newly assigned constellation!
“…Ah.”
Silence fell.
I cleared my throat, staring blankly at the hologram.
“Ahem, sorry. I didn't realize and was rude from the start… My apologies.”
Even if it made me look spineless, you own your mistakes. In a world overrun by monsters, a constellation's sponsorship was basically essential for survival.
And constellations were all moody as hell. Piss them off, and sponsorships drop or you get scraps.
That's why I'd held back my resentment toward the Central Plains Sword God until my dying breath.
That could happen, so no worries, chuckles the newly assigned constellation.
Oh. This one seemed decent.
The Central Plains Sword God would've snapped back like, “Who the hell you yelling at?”
Broad-minded meant easier to butter up.
As I formed a positive first impression of the “newly assigned constellation”…
Anyway, if you're up, fold the blanket first, scolds the newly assigned constellation!
The first step of your new life shouldn't be messy, adds the newly assigned constellation!
And what is this, your house looks like a pigsty? gripes the newly assigned constellation while they're at it!
……Was it my imagination?
This one seemed a bit naggy…
The Central Plains Sword God never meddled in my personal life.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The holograms kept popping up relentlessly, tormenting my eyes and ears.
No, wait. Stop. This is chaos. Please stop!
I couldn't say it outright, so sweating bullets, I asked,
“Um, if I may… What is my choosing constellation's name? Or rather, title?”
Constellations don't reveal true names. Just epithets that hint at them.
Like the Central Plains Sword God—he had a real name, but everyone called him that.
Then, a hologram appeared.
What title between us? laughs the newly assigned constellation casually!
No, then are you telling me your true name? I can't keep calling you “newly assigned constellation.”
I shouldn't, but you're an exception, smiles the newly assigned constellation.
The newly assigned constellation urgently modifies the notification system!
Constellation name has been updated!
Agent name has been updated!
Amid the storm of nonstop updates, as I sat there dazed—a huge hologram, bigger than usual, shoved the others aside and planted itself in front of me.
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“……”
M-Mom?