Chapter 25. Liam Is...
It had already been two years since I’d come to the capital.
At first, I’d intended to go back in less than a year.
But life among all the things I could never have seen in Harden had caught me by the ankle and refused to let go.
There was so much to enjoy, and just as much that made me smile.
Dear Liam, our son.
At first, you made up every excuse under the sun because you didn’t want to go, and now that you’ve been there, you don’t seem to have any intention of coming back at all.
Even so, after two whole years, it seems like it’s about time you came home....
Your mother and father are feeling very lonely now, as if we’ve been abandoned, sob sob.
So come back while I’m still asking nicely.
I’m starting to think I should do what Eshir was planning and send the soldiers to drag you home!
P.S.
By the way, you should know that your little sister is already three and has started walking. Taking care of Lia, who keeps whining every day about when her big brother is coming home, is getting harder and harder.
Of course, it’s mostly Sion taking care of her, not me.
Ah, Sion found out what I was writin—
Most of the letters that came these days were just like this one, urging me to come home already. I’d chuckle, tuck them into a drawer, and leave them there.
My expression had softened so much it was hard to imagine the old me.
I always greeted the butlers and maids I met in the manor with a smile.
I laughed when Eshir sneaked up behind me, poked my side, and ran away like a prankster.
Now and then I visited the market streets to enjoy all kinds of food, and sometimes I went to the art museum to look at the works and nod to myself.
I was living like a proper noble.
It was a life I never would have dreamed of back then.
As I grew close to adulthood, my voice deepened with puberty and turned distinctly more masculine.
My height had already shot past 180 centimeters, and I was catching up to my father.
Because I’d been swinging a sword and training my body since I was small, I was sturdier than most knights.
And my grey Aura had only grown denser with time, rippling now in a deep, dark gray.
I had wealth. I had talent.
There was only one thing missing: a lover to stand at my side.
And yet I hadn’t even made an effort to find one.
I…
I still didn’t want to meet anyone.
By now, it wasn’t the sort of pain that left me miserably longing and grieving for you every moment of the day.
If I absolutely had to marry someone, I thought I could.
But I knew it instinctively.
I didn’t have the confidence to love anyone else.
Your memory had grown faint, and I had come to accept life as Liam Nirheim, but even so, I still couldn’t love another person.
I didn’t want to see myself meeting someone who wasn’t you.
I didn’t want to watch myself fall in love with someone else.
On that spring day when I was sixteen, you were no longer by my side, but I had gained everything except you.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Since it was still spring, a slightly chilly wind was blowing.
As I walked through the ducal manor’s garden, where only the first green shoots had begun to rise, Eshir came up beside me and called out in a low voice.
“Hey, Liam.”
“What?”
“So, uh. I’ve got to go to an imperial banquet tonight.”
And? What was she expecting me to do about it?
All she had to do was go and enjoy herself.
“Okay, and?”
“Um. Could I ask you to escort me?”
“...That’s a hassle. I still need to swing my sword.”
“Argh, you bastard.... I’m begging you, you sword-obsessed freak!”
At my lazy refusal, Eshir smacked my back hard enough to make a sharp crack.
“Agh...!”
“Would it kill you to listen when someone’s asking nicely? We’re going tonight, so get ready!”
No.
I hadn’t even said I was going yet.
Evening fell, and the sun had sunk all the way down by the time Eshir and I rode in a carriage toward the imperial palace.
Watching the city blur past at that speed, I spoke with an exhausted sigh.
“Do you really have to drag me along just because I said I was bothered?”
“Wow... and do you really have to reject my request that coldly?”
“What, like this is news?”
For all the time we’d known each other, I’d always treated Eshir exactly like this.
At my words and expression, Eshir let out a long sigh before replying.
“...Watching you, I’ve really come to realize that it takes talent to make every single thing you say sound infuriating.”
“Thanks.”
“That wasn’t a compliment, idiot!”
As Eshir finally raised her voice, I could only hope the carriage would reach the palace soon.
After we arrived and stepped down from the carriage, I naturally turned back and held out my hand.
“Take it.”
“Liam, you really should not go around telling people you’re a noble.”
She looked at me like she was already sick of me, so I let out a heavy sigh and offered my hand again.
“...Lady Bricht. Please grant me the honor of escorting you.”
“Hah, good. If you know how, then you should use your eyes and do it right away.”
“What the hell.”
“Such vulgar language should never be used in the imperial palace, young master.”
Eshir and I took each other by the hand and headed into the banquet hall.
Inside, many people had already gathered.
It seemed to be a banquet for the children of noble houses around our age, and the hall was already filled with the atmosphere of a gathering just beginning to warm up.
“So what kind of banquet is this?”
“Wow... do you seriously not care about anything except swords? It’s a spring banquet to bless the noble children who’ll be responsible for the Empire’s future. Didn’t you even know it was held every year?”
“I literally just said I don’t care.”
There was no real need for me to attend events like this in order to live comfortably.
I thought it was better to spend that time swinging my sword even one more time.
“You really are exactly as I expected.”
“Yeah, thanks for the compliment.”
“I said it wasn’t a compliment.”
Eshir and I kept bickering as we went farther inside, and whispers rose at our entrance.
— Gasp, Lady Bricht came with a partner...!
— I wonder which house that young master belongs to?
— But don’t the two of them look really good together?
Those were the sort of obvious comments I caught in bits and pieces.
They may have intended to whisper quietly among themselves, but every word sank straight into my ears.
Fake, practiced voices.
The sort of people who loved talking about others.
Then, as now, they were the type I hated most.
“...I want to go home.”
“Huh? What? What’d you say?”
Eshir tilted her head, apparently having heard none of the whispers around us.
“Nothing.”
I led her onward with an indifferent expression.
The banquet went on like that.
Music filled the vast hall, and a spread of food stood ready to ease the hunger of the guests.
Perhaps because it was a gathering for younger nobles only, there was no alcohol, but that didn’t seem to matter to anyone; they all enjoyed themselves just the same.
Eshir was no different.
By the time I noticed, she was already chatting with the young ladies who had come up beside her, smiling all the while.
Watching her talk as if she were greeting old friends she hadn’t seen in ages, weaving together one story after another, I stood quietly behind her and listened.
I still felt awkward in places like this.
Even though I considered myself a noble now, all this polished etiquette and artificial charm still didn’t suit me.
And when Eshir noticed my silence and came over, she whispered softly.
“Liam, I’m going to go fix my makeup for a bit, so wait here.”
“...Sure.”
“Don’t you dare run off.”
“Hmm, thanks for telling me a good way to escape.”
“Pfft. I’ll be right back, so don’t start any trouble.”
Smiling, she said that and then moved away from me.
She left the area with several of the young ladies she’d been speaking with, disappearing into a space behind the banquet hall.
Only then did I finally take in the full sight of the banquet hall.
The music that had accompanied the banquet from the beginning still filled the room, and the chandelier hanging overhead was packed with light, glittering brilliantly.
Under it, young ladies and young masters were talking among themselves.
Some of them looked genuinely happy.
They were wearing those kinds of smiles.
Even among people wrapped in pretense, there were always those who showed their true feelings and blushed bright red.
There were scenes where hands were brushed together and then, with heads bowed low, they stood there in silence.
The fact that people could create scenes like that made me a little envious.
I was thinking that when—
“Oh my!”
I heard that voice.
It had to be fake, and the movement that followed it intentional.
Liquid splashed out in a sharp arc and soaked the hem of my coat, and there was a young lady staring up at me with widened, startled eyes.
“I’m so sorry, young master. I slipped and lost my footing...”
“...It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
I simply told her it was all right and took a handkerchief from my breast pocket to wipe off my coat.
“Ah, I feel so terrible about this that I’d like to wipe it off for you myself...”
And then.
I slapped away the woman’s hand as it reached toward me.
“...Lady, don’t touch me.”
Before I realized it, my expression had hardened, and I growled the words out.
As if reacting to my emotions, a flicker of Aura rippled through my body for a brief instant.
“Hic—! Hah!”
Startled by my reaction, the young lady who had approached me stumbled back.
“...I’m sorry. I’m still not used to a place like this, so I made a mistake.”
Looking down at her indifferently, I said as much.
“Y-yes...! I-I’m sorry...”
I watched her flee, trembling as though she’d been terrified out of her wits.
The banquet was racing toward its end.
Usually, a banquet ended with a dance between a man and a woman.
At Eshir’s desperate request, I’d been unable to refuse, and so I found myself mixed in among the dancers.
Only...
“Usually the one getting her feet stepped on is supposed to be the woman, not the man, augh...! Stop stepping on me!”
“That’s a pretty sexist thing to say.”
“I’m not being sexist, I just said stop, ah! Step on me already...!”
My dancing, frankly, was hard to call dancing at all.
Sorry, but I had absolutely no talent for this sort of elegant ballroom nonsense.
If anything, the real mistake had been asking someone who usually did nothing but swing a sword to do this in the first place.
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