Gold Digger Class
“N-Noona, what the hell is this? I can’t make sense of any of this!”
“You think any of what you two just said makes sense to me?”
“That’s a little sensitive. Let’s not throw that around carelessly.”
Noona, who’d been striding ahead at a clip, whipped a fist at me. My body reacted first and I slipped aside, though I nearly counterpunched on pure instinct.
“What are you doing? Take it already.”
Resting in her small hand was one Bluetooth earbud. I took it without thinking and stuffed it in my ear. A voice came through at once.
“...I’m telling you, the guy’s loaded as hell.”
That was Eun-sol’s voice.
“Bullshit. This is the same guy who used to eat thousand-won kimbap every day at school.”
“That’s what I thought too, but I’ve been raising the stakes little by little. Started at pocha joints, now we’re only hitting fine dining. Fucking idiot never even got any and still goes wherever I say?”
Grind.
Through the ear without the bud I heard Eun-hui noona grinding her teeth.
“Ask him for allowance too!”
“Not that far yet. Still, lately I haven’t spent a single won of my own money.”
“Whoa, but why hasn’t he even touched you?”
“He wants to. I’m just not letting him.”
“Oof~ Han Eun-sol~. What’s your class~?”
What class? Gold digger class, you dumb bitches.
“Ugh, but he did get my tits.”
“No way. Your tits got sucked on by Gyeong-jun?”
“No, I just let him feel them. The bastard kept refusing and looking all sulky, so I felt bad and I’ve been letting him lately.”
“What? You’re letting him feel you up for food? Cost-performance is trash.”
“Fuck off. What do you take me for? I’ve been bleeding him one piece at a time. See this?”
“Holy shit! That’s Tiffany! How much?”
“Exactly a hundred.”
“Insane. One earring for a hundred?”
Eun-hui noona and I both stopped walking.
There was no shaking the pure disgust. Fine, the meals I could swallow, but the fact he’d been getting milked for gifts too made the world tilt. And that bastard Gyeong-jun had been grinning like an idiot telling me things were going well.
“Pfft, soon it’ll be the luxury bag challenge.”
“For real? What first?”
“Start light—maybe a Prada? But this guy doesn’t feel Hermès-tier yet.”
“But seriously, what does he even like about you enough to go this far?”
“What? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Ah, no, I just—”
“You’re saying I don’t even look like I could milk a guy?”
“When did I ever say—”
“That’s exactly what it is, fuck. My pride’s shredded. Mijin-ah~ I’m bleeding him dry right now~ I’m doing great while you’re still out doing part-time jobs~.”
“...Sorry.”
“Know your place, pfft!”
“......”
I wanted to rip the earbud out and stomp it flat right then. It hit me all over again how good my Hui-gyeong is. The girl who only looks at me, who tries to keep me from wasting money on nonsense, who smiles even if all we can afford is a plain rice-and-side-dish place as long as she’s with me. Facing the snake side of the real world made me miss my girl even more.
“But Gyeong-jun sunbae said he called you. Shouldn’t you go?”
“I know what I’m doing, bitch. Time to head out. Talk later?”
Eun-hui noona tapped my shoulder.
“Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Wherever those two are meeting.”
“How do you even know where that is?”
Before I finished, she flipped open her foldable phone and showed me a campus map app with two blue dots.
What the hell is this?
“Looks like the distance is right at the Central Library...”
“Noona, what is this?”
“Top one’s that bitch Eun-sol. Bottom’s Gyeong-jun.”
“Noona, you put trackers on both of them?”
“Is that what matters right now? Pin the location.”
“Yeah, Central Library feels right. He’s about to dump her, so probably that empty grass patch behind the library nobody uses.”
“Okay. Nice work.”
She took off running while staring at her phone. Her body was so light every stride just ate distance. Even at full sprint she weaved past people without looking, never once slowing. Definitely no ordinary person.
We reached the Central Library gasping for air and checked her map app again. Both dots were heading this way—location confirmed.
“Hey, Jo Gyeong-hun.”
“If we go up about three floors on the back stairs we can look down on it.”
“What about under the second floor?”
“Glass is covered in plants. Zero visibility.”
“Okay. Fourth floor.”
I had no idea why we synced so well, but I just did as told and sprinted up to the fourth. While I thundered up like a sack of bricks, Eun-hui noona flowed between people like water, never hesitating as she climbed.
“Hoo, hoo.”
Damn, I’m sweating.
Eun-hui noona was fanning her shirt collar against the heat too, but she was already sitting at the desk on the landing looking down. From above it looked like pure overgrown grass nobody could enter, but there was an actual entrance—one of those spots only people in the know used for confessions and breakups. I knew it well because Gyeong-jun and I used to sit up here making bets on who was becoming a couple and who was done. Kind of a nostalgia spot.
Thud, thud.
Only footsteps came through the earbud. Hard asphalt for a while, then the sound shifted to dirt and weeds being pushed aside. The moment that sound hit, Eun-sol appeared from the left. Gyeong-jun appeared from the right.
Arms crossed, posture pure arrogance, Eun-sol snapped at him the second they met.
“What the hell? You just drag me out of nowhere. I was with a friend.”
“Eun-sol.”
They were close enough that Gyeong-jun’s voice picked up on the earbud too.
“What?”
“Let’s end it here.”
“What?”
“Yes...!”
I startled and looked over. Eun-hui noona was pumping a fist and nodding hard.
“Why all of a sudden?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’m not enough for you in a lot of ways, and I’m graduating soon without even landing a job. Feels like the time I need to figure out my future.”
“So?”
“So I think it’s better for both of us to cut it while we’re still just at the maybe stage.”
“......”
“Thanks for treating me well. You’re pretty, Eun-sol, so you’ll meet someone even... better.”
“......”
“I’ll, uh, make sure to avoid you around campus.”
“......”
“I’m going.”
Eun-sol just stood there, too stunned to speak. Gyeong-jun had done the whole monologue by himself and turned awkwardly away when—
“...Don’t you dare.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t you fucking joke with me, you bastard—!”
“Eun-sol?”
“You’re dumping me? You dare dump me? What’s this ‘thinking a lot’ crap? You’re just mad I wouldn’t put out, right? That’s it, you perverted little shit.”
“Eun-sol, it’s absolutely not that.”
Gyeong-jun denied it with a straight face, but the crazy bitch’s ears weren’t taking anything in.
“You chased me saying you liked me and now this? No. Not happening. Who said you could decide?”
“Eun-sol, I’m really not in a place where I can pay attention to anyone else—”
“Anyone else? So I’m just ‘anyone else’ to you, oppa?”
“N-no, coldly speaking we’re still at the maybe stage—”
“From now on we’re dating. Got it? I already put in the work, so don’t you back out. Huh? You ask my permission if you want to break up.”
“Da... dating?!”
“Whatever. I’m pissed as hell right now, so when I KakaoTalk you later you better come running. Got it?”
“Y-yeah.”
Shocking and enraging as it was, that was how the situation ended. The pig-like gold digger stomped off to the left with her heavy body while the sucker just stood there dazed.
Fuck, what even is this?
While I was still reeling, Eun-hui noona shoved another earbud at me. I jammed it in and now both voices—already in different places—alternated in stereo.
“Fucking bastard pulling push-pull on me. I was just about to start milking him for real. God this pisses me off.”
“Eun-sol...”
“So fucking insolent. He thinks he can dump me? Piece of shit, from now on you’re gonna be working overtime on my tits.”
“Ha, Han Eun-sol, you really...”
Both of them drew a deep breath. Then the final outbursts hit at the exact same time.
“I’m ripping a Hermès out of him if it kills me, fuck—!”
“You really do like me for real, don’t you?”
The world went black. My breath locked solid. Whatever the hell had happened with that last part-timer girl Gyeong-jun dated, whatever wound his father had left him with, the kid hadn’t just turned soft—he’d turned into the softest sucker alive. It was so bad I was hyperventilating with him.
“Fuck...”
A curse thick with tears.
“Fuck!”
Quiet rage and grief mixed into one lament. That was all Eun-hui noona.
“If it was some other pretty girl or a decent girl I could even give up!”
“And he’s just throwing money at that pig bitch!”
She couldn’t hold the anger and started slamming the desk. People going up and down the stairs all stared. Panicked, I dragged her over to the empty emergency stairs on the opposite side. Even there she kicked the wall for a long stretch before whirling on me.
“Hey, Jo Gyeong-hun!”
“What, what?”
“Do I look worse than that pig Han Eun-sol to you?”
“No, noona’s way better.”
“Right?”
“Yeah.”
My Hui-gyeong’s still the best, though.
“Hoo—! I’m going to slit that pig bitch’s throat and eat Kim Gyeong-jun myself.”
“...??”
“I’m going to fuck Kim Gyeong-jun so hard I have three of his kids and chain him to my side so he can never leave!”
Here stood a woman actively threatening my best friend’s purity. Eyes bloodshot, Eun-hui noona grabbed me by the collar.
“You’re helping.”
“With what? How?”
“My family runs a private investigation agency. Business is rough lately, but we’ve got the skills.”
Ah. Now the pieces were finally lining up.
“I’ll scrape together the money for the crew and the gear. Until then, you keep tabs on Gyeong-jun and Eun-sol.”
“How much do you need?”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll handle it.”
“No, drop it. How much.”
Gyeong-jun, you said it yourself, right? Spend money and you can enjoy a lot of things and solve a lot of things.
“It’s not pocket change. Labor plus equipment easily tops ten million.”
“I’ve got hundreds of millions lying around.”
“Don’t bluff.”
“Not bluffing. Loyalty. You know how good Gyeong-jun’s been to me and how hard he stuck by me?”
I’ll use some on you first as a test run. Let’s see just how delicious a world money can buy.
“Send the account number. I’m going to the bank right now.”