Chapter 71
Chapter 71
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 71
Chapter Title: How to Become More Villainous (1)
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An earlier morning than usual.
I pedal the bike busily.
The destination isn't Onui Restaurant—it's Seongrae Market.
My sister and I draw stares the moment we arrive at the market.
Grannies peeking sideways, housewives and uncles staring openly.
Of course, all those gazes end up on Yoon-seule.
- Oh my! Yoon-seule looks extra cute today? Is that skirt the one your Oppa bought you? So pretty! Adorable!
- Of course it is, bought by Oppa. Our Ju-hyeon-ie dotes on Yoon-seule so much!
The grannies sitting on the market floor selling vegetables greet us siblings warmly.
They're especially taken with Yoon-seule's summer outfit.
It's what you'd call the "final boss" look, but every time they praise the outfit, Yoon-seule makes a slightly dissatisfied face.
"This isn't... just pretty, it's super cool though."
She sticks out her lower lip.
It's my karma, but even this reaction is too cute.
"Yoon-seul-ah, why don't you give them a fashion show?"
"Um... Okay."
She lets go of the hand she's holding and puts it on her waist.
Then she walks forward and spins—round and round and round—
Three spins in a row.
She spreads her arms wide toward the sky and pauses for a moment.
"How's this?!"
Clap clap clap clap clap—
The market floor erupts at Yoon-seule's triple axel!
The granny who was busily selling hotteok just moments ago.
The grandpa peeling garlic braids.
The Auntieie and uncle moving eggs.
Even the elementary school boy sucking on a candy next to them.
Everyone's attention is now on Yoon-seule.
She didn't expect this much of a reaction, so her face lights up and she hides behind me.
Then—thump thump thump—she unleashes beanbag punches on my back.
Damage converges to zero.
"Eee—Oppa, you're mean. Everyone's just looking at Yoon-seule."
"What's wrong with that? They're looking 'cause you're pretty."
"Uuu... This isn't just pretty, it's super cool, I told you..."
"Yeah, sure."
"Oppa said... final boss... is the coolest and strongest, right!"
"Right, right. It was cool, wasn't it? Then show Oppa one more fashion show. Oppa might've gotten confused."
"Um... Can't help it then."
She walks forward and spins—round and round and round—
Three spins in a row.
She spreads her arms wide toward the sky and pauses for a moment.
"How about this one!"
Clap clap clap clap clap—
A second wave of applause ripples through the market floor.
The uncle eating freshly made hotteok.
The office worker on the way to work.
Even the butcher shop granny fixing her hair.
Yoon-seule's fashion show draws the kind of attention you'd see in prime-time weekend variety shows from ten years ago.
A second round of beanbag punches hits my back, but damage still converges to zero.
Yoon-seule's summer fashion is so popular that this stunt—we practiced just the two of us at home—draws explosive attention, just as expected.
How much blood, sweat, and tears went into practicing this?
'Yoon-seul-ah! Don't you think you need a finishing move?'
'Finishing move?!"
Those three words.
Just saying them makes your heart race—it's a bewitching term.
'Right? 'Cause what is Yoon-seule?'
'Boss!'
'But if the boss has no moves, does she look cool? Or not?'
'Um... Probably not.'
'So that's why we make a finishing move.'
And so I proposed the fashion show as her finishing move.
It's so illogical that no one could nitpick it without seeming weird.
How is spinning three times a finishing move?
If you approach it with that logic, you'd have to throw your hands up, but think calmly.
The opponent is 5 years old.
'Hmm... Then what's good?'
When I first demonstrated the fashion show pose, Yoon-seule didn't react great.
But that's why I've been chatting with customers to hone my silver tongue—for times like this.
'You still don't get it, Yoon-seule! By spinning 360 degrees three times, you secure visibility all around—1080 degrees! No one can attack rashly then. And in that gap, you can unleash all your attacks. 'Cause you've checked every direction three times over, full visibility secured.
Some might guard against it or resist. Lots of them! You're the boss, after all. But that's all useless, right? 'Cause you're the strongest. So this move gives you exactly what you need most. Just read their actions, and you're invincible!'
From start to finish, no need to listen closely.
It was pure nonsense.
But to a 5-year-old...
'Ooh! I see. Smart Oppa! Awesome.'
It was effective enough to prick my conscience.
And so the fashion show was honed.
Well, "honed" is a stretch. It's just spinning around.
The effect is clear and simple, too.
Yoon-seule in cute clothes looks three times cuter.
In that sense, it's a benevolent force promoting humanity's collective happiness.
"Your self-justification is insane."
After two fashion shows, we arrive at the bakery on the opposite side of the market.
We hustle over to stop in.
To fill up on bread for breakfast.
As we get there, Yoon-seule swallows hard with a tense look.
She grabs my pant leg and shifts awkwardly.
Like a small wild mammal facing its natural predator.
"Oppa, should we just go?"
"Didn't Yoon-seule say she wanted bread today? Then we have to go in. Otherwise, no bread."
"Um... But. But."
There's a reason for her hesitation.
Yoon-seule and the market bakery owner have a cute feud.
"With Oppa right here, there won't be any problems, right?"
"Um... True. Got it."
She hesitated to enter, her brow furrowing, but seeing my face, she smiles again like an international emoticon :).
From my side, I'm secretly looking forward to their back-and-forth.
We enter the bakery, and I spot a few customers and the owner energetically slicing bread inside.
Early 30s, with deft hands and a sturdy build. Long hair tied back in a net, white flour caked all over her apron.
Above all, her face stands out—her eyes slant long sideways, giving the constant illusion of a smile.
- Oh my goodness, Yoon-seule's here! It's been a while~.
"Eek..."
That kind of groan rarely comes from Yoon-seule's mouth. So coming to this bakery has that meaning for me too.
Discovering new sides of Yoon-seule.
- Ju-hyeon-ssi, I've been waiting for Yoon-seule every morning, I really miss her. Can't you come more often? I give you guys tons of extra bread!
"We'll come more. But Yoon-seule and I prefer rice over bread. When we do want bread, we always come here without fail. Please accept that."
- Ahh... Koreans run on rice power, huh. How about eating breakfast at our shop then? I don't just bake great bread—I make great rice dishes too.
"I'll politely decline. I run a restaurant myself, after all."
- So firm.
Yoon-seule watches our exchange with narrowed eyes. Mostly aimed at the bakery owner.
Clearly wary.
Yoon-seule's shy with strangers at first but warms up quick.
From my observations over the past few months, the only person she reacts like this to is the bakery owner.
'Cause this owner is a formidable foe.
- Yoon-seul-ah, what cookie did I make today?
"Uuu... I won't say, so give up."
- Can't do that. We have to enjoy Yoon-seule time today too!
"Euu... Yoon-seule in pain!"
Pain!
She grabs her head with one hand like a middle-aged man with a migraine.
"Yoon-seule time" is a term unique to this shop. It mostly means time that torments Yoon-seule.
If it were real pain, I'd step in as guardian.
But honestly, it's fun watching her go through it. She doesn't show this side when it's just us or with other customers.
- Here, take a look.
The owner brings over a whole tray from a corner of the shop.
What's on it are cookies you see at every convenience store. Light brown surface glistening with crystallized sugar. Light for their size, crispy texture—they're popular.
Italian pastry cookies.
Everyone calls them NuXtiX or whatever.
But they have a proper name.
- Spogliatelle glassate.
"Eugh! S-strong... foe!"
Strong foe.
Yoon-seule's right.
Today looks especially tough.
- Wanna try saying it? Spogliatelle glassate.
"Sp... Spoo-li. Tti-nu. Spol...! Gla-th... Euua... Ack."
- Spogliatelle glassate.
"Spo... Spogli...!"
- Spogliatelle glassate.
"Spogliattele? Glassi?"
- Pfft...
That's right.
This owner has severe cute aggression.
She makes Yoon-seule tackle tough pronunciations, then delights in her failures.
Yoon-seule struggling without twisting her tongue up is cute enough to make you laugh on reflex.
Cruel if you call it cruel, but the key is it's not forced.
Clear rewards follow, so Yoon-seule keeps trying. Succeed, and the cookies are free. She's gotten a few before.
Spoo-li...
Spola-tte...
Glassate...
She mutters and tries over and over but soon gives up. It's a fundamentally tough issue.
Yoon-seule's tongue hasn't fully developed yet.
Even her Oppa-calling dongsaeng can't easily nail Italian.
- Khhh... Too cute.
Unable to hold back, the owner clasps her hands near her navel and observes Yoon-seule.
Can't call it good taste, but it does make Yoon-seule seem even cuter.
Yoon-seule tries a few more times, then pouts.
She's given up.
"Surrender..."
For once, Yoon-seule declares surrender.
She raises both hands above her head.
She rarely goes that far.
Usually, she succeeds after a few tries.
She even nailed "spätzle" perfectly after struggling before.
But today's foe,
Spogliatelle glassate, was too much.
- Aww... Yoon-seule's surrendering?
"Yeah..."
She answers weakly and buries her face in my thigh. Then she rubs—swish swish—while sniffling.
Must've been a huge letdown.
My heart aches.
I thought she'd nail it like always.
"Yoon-seule's spirit broken?"
"Yeah... Yoon-seule's spirit all gone."
She spreads her arms wide looking up at me.
Wants a hug.
I scoop her up, and she buries her face in my neck.
"Should Oppa hug you till your spirit comes back?"
"Um... Yeah. Do that. But if spirit's gone, takes a bit."
"I'll do that. You can stay like this as long as you want."
- Was I too harsh?
Watching us, the owner sticks out her tongue apologetically.
- Yeah, too harsh! Don't you know if you break our Yoon-seule's spirit like that, the whole market turns against you?
- Hear hear! Apologize to Yoon-seule right now, or I won't buy bread from this place again!
The market sentiment stirs once more.