Sweet Dreams, Sooming
Ah, so refreshing!
"Where did our Chairman go? I guess he's busy lately."
That was the first thing I heard the moment I entered Sooming's stream. It was true that my attendance rate had been pretty poor lately. Between appearing on TV, planning collaboration events, and preparing to return to university, I barely had any time to watch streams.
"Don't you guys even watch the news? Just open YouTube, and the Chairman's face is plastered everywhere."
As Suhyeon grumbled, the chat began to burn with a new topic of discussion. And the subject of that topic was none other than me.
"Aigo!! Imirne!!! I was feeling so lonely, thank you for the great song!!"
Video donations. It was one of the main content pillars of Sooming's stream, where viewers could donate to play their favorite videos on the stream screen. It was literally donating a video. Normally, people used it to play songs or videos they liked to share with the streamer and other viewers. However, in Sooming's stream, video donations were more commonly used for a completely different purpose. For example...
Videos that turned Suhyeon's voice into a musical instrument, or videos featuring her face photoshopped onto all sorts of bizarre things. Video donations solely focused on teasing Suhyeon were one of the true delicacies of her stream.
"This is seriously so fucking annoying, I swear..."
The video playing right now was a remix of the screams Suhyeon made during her previous No-stream-end penalty broadcast. Watching her stare at the screen with a deep sigh and a look of pure, soul-crushed resignation was a comedy goldmine in itself. Seeing her react with absolute frustration made all the stress of my day melt away like snow.
"Fuuuuuck!!!! Let me play some music too!!!! What was the point of me making a playlist before the stream if I can't even use it?! I can't play a single song because of you guys!!!!!"
Honestly, I burst out laughing too. The absurdly edited videos, Suhyeon roaring until her throat went hoarse, and the viewers absolutely hell-bent on teasing her. It was a perfect trinity. Ah, now this is internet streaming.
"Seriously, stop!!! This bastard's nickname is already annoying enough, but what the hell is he editing and bringing here every single day?!"
Once the floodgates of video donations opened, the stream's momentum completely shifted. Suhyeon was losing her mind in textbook fashion, as if determined to demonstrate the exact stages of human descent into madness.
"Can't we... just talk this out...?"
"Please, I beg you...!! Let me actually run the stream...!!"
"Aaaaaaaack!!!! You motherfucking!!!!!! bastard!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ahaha... haha... hahahaha...!"
Pfft! Every time she let out a shriek, I couldn't help but snort with laughter. Having watched Suhyeon for a long time, I could say with absolute certainty: that reaction was 100% genuine, unadulterated rage.
Her despair was the viewers' ultimate happiness. How could anyone resist this? My own hands were starting to itch, and I was just about to click the donation link myself when—
"...What is this now?"
SweetPotatoOverPotato? The nickname sounded familiar. Who was that again?
"Na Honza Sanya?"
With a dramatic *dun-dun* sound effect, the video transitioned. The camera panned from the entrance of an ultra-luxurious apartment to a sweeping view of a magnificent living room. Wait, what the fuck? That's my house!
"Huh? What's this?"
Her curiosity piqued, Suhyeon maximized the video donation screen, which had previously occupied less than half the display. Haha, no way... it can't be, right? I trembled as a sudden wave of dread washed over me.
<Walking down the long hallway that resembles an art gallery...>
<New York, right in the heart of Seoul.>
<Ultra-luxurious furniture, each piece extraordinary.>
The familiar subtitles appeared alongside the voices of the well-known cast members gasping in awe. The chat went absolutely wild. Fuck... No, stop...!!!
"Wow, that house is incredible. How do you even clean a place like that?"
Is she acting, or does she really not know? While my insides burned at Sooming's cluelessness, the moment of truth finally arrived.
<The identity of the owner of this palace-like, ultra-luxurious apartment is...?>
<Ta-da!>
"Pffft-hahaha!!!!"
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Suhyeon burst into a helpless fit of laughter at the sight of my disheveled self yawning and scratching the crown of my head on screen. She laughed so hard she snorted, sounding as if she was suffering from a sudden lack of oxygen.
"Kgh... gasp... pffft-hahaha!!!"
"Ahahaha-ha-ha-ha!!!"
After laughing to the point of hyperventilation, she went so far as to replay the clip right then and there. What made it even more infuriating was that the viewer count suddenly began to spike, as if they had all coordinated this in advance.
"Gasp... Guys, let's watch it just one last time."
"Bwahahaha!!!!!"
Snap. In that instant, I heard something snap inside me. Forcing my trembling hands to steady, I opened YouTube and began searching for a specific video.
<(11 Hours) Subconscious Sleep Meditation to Manifest Your Desires While Sleeping / 'Self-Affirmations' to Awaken Your Hidden Inner Power / Every Day, in Every Way, I Am Getting Better and Better! / Voice ASMR>
Found it. You've had your fun laughing and gossiping, haven't you? I copied the video link and prepared for the assault.
"Gasp... wheeze... just... one last time..."
There were three rules for video donations on Sooming's stream. First, when a video donation plays, all background music must be muted, leaving only the audio of the donated video. Second, the stream cannot end until the video donation finishes playing. Third, the maximum length of a single video donation is one hour. The price of a video donation on Sooming's stream was 2,000 KRW for 20 seconds. In other words, playing a one-hour video cost 360,000 KRW. And that video was a whopping 11 hours long.
...
...
...
"Hieeeek...!"
Suhyeon stared at the screen, her face turning as pale as a sheet as if all the blood had drained from it. You had fun laughing and chatting with the viewers, right? Now, spend the next 11 hours reflecting on your actions while listening to repetitive self-affirmations.
<Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better...>
<Every day, I am becoming richer and richer...>
<Every day, I am becoming healthier and healthier...>
Soft, sleep-inducing music played gently in the background, accompanied by a whispering voice repeating the phrases in a hypnotic, trance-like state. All worldly desires faded away, and an ideal peace finally descended upon Suhyeon's stream. Mmh, very desirable indeed.
"N-No way, right...? This is some kind of mistake, right...?"
Finally, the stream had reclaimed its true identity. It was worth every single penny.
Most of the viewers had already fled, unable to withstand the repetitive self-affirmation ASMR. The only ones remaining were the true demons of the chat, staying solely to watch Suhyeon suffer. Streaming for 11 hours with a bunch of internet demons while listening to repetitive self-affirmations? That wasn't going to be easy.
"Aaaaaaaack!!!! Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!"
Haha, who told you to mess with me? Ah, so incredibly refreshing.