The Ejaculation King's Awakening

Instant ejaculation? ‘I want to have sex.’ That’s me, Oh Ji-myung. Twenty-nine years old. In just a few dozen minutes, I’ll officially be a thirty-year-old average Korean man. Sure, I have no job, no passion, and no special abilities, but none of that really matters. Especially in this day and age. One good awakening and your life can flip in an instant. I muttered to myself, thinking the same thing. ‘If sex isn’t happening… at least an awakening…’

It was quiet. I hadn’t expected anything, and once again the heavens offered no reply. A crushing sense of defeat flooded my entire body and my energy drained away. I thrashed on the bed like a dying fish. Fuck! It’s not like I wanted to live like this. It just… happened. Pure force majeure.

Maybe it was because my gut was hanging out? Or because my guardian was too kind? While I squirmed like a worm and grumbled, I suddenly felt blood rushing to the cock pressed against the blanket. ‘Even a virgin wants to fuck…’ I slid a hand down and gave it a squeeze. Rub, rub.

Mom’s probably home. I wanted to check, but getting up was too much trouble. Besides, there was a weird thrill to it. Why bother? She’s my stepmother anyway. With that thought, I decided to take care of business under the covers. I pulled tissues from the box beside my pillow one by one and hesitated. ‘Should I watch porn?’ The image of myself turning the volume all the way down and watching half a video flashed through my mind. ‘Classic is better.’

I quietly closed my eyes. The world went dark. With nothing visible, I built an image and pictured my ideal type. What if someone sneaked in and was secretly taking pictures of me? I entertained the ridiculous thought, threw off the thick blanket, and started stroking. A cool breeze brushed the tip and a guilty heat began bubbling at the base. In my imagination I grabbed one breast each from two S-rank Hunters and pounded away—

—Thud! Spurt..!! Spurt,, I slapped a tissue over the head with machine-like speed. Timing was everything. Too early and you get less cum; miss and it ends up on your fingers. This was already the third time today, so it came out thin, almost watery. ‘Ugh, fuck. Still feels good.’

While I lay there with my eyes closed, enjoying maybe thirty seconds of cheap dopamine, a sound rang out that shouldn’t have existed.

Ding! Pop!

I snapped my eyes wide open. No way. I wiped the liquid inside the foreskin with a tissue without thinking and then saw it.

“…?!”

I shot upright on the bed. The heavy tissue dropped onto the blanket with a soft plop. A blue light I had never seen before floated in front of my eyes. What the hell was this? Unable to believe it, I waved my hand through the letters like shooing a fly. My hand passed straight through without resistance.

Status Window?!

As if answering, a holographic interface rose into view.

“Fuuuuuuck!!!”

I trembled at the fact that I had awakened! Finally, I was a Hunter too! My whole body shook. This was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠on a completely different level from cheap masturbation. But an even more shocking truth followed.

SSS-grade!

I had awakened to a rank I had never even heard of! The name alone sounded badass. Ejaculation King? The skill was at least Instant Death! The greatest output a twenty-nine-year-old virgin could produce had been born! With trembling hands I tried to press the interface, watched my fingers pass through, then nodded awkwardly and focused on the trait.

‘Huh…’

The moment I saw the detailed description of the trait and everything that followed, a sudden doubt crept in. Ejaculation King? The king of coming?

‘…It wasn’t the “death” kind of “sa”?’

SSS-grade Ejaculation King. The ridiculous name made my eyes sting for a second. But that wasn’t even the worst part. The most important of the four Hunter stats, Mana, had disappeared. Replaced by this shitty new stat. Mana was the foundation of every Hunter. All skills began and ended with mana. Even physical-type Hunters were just lumps of meat without it. So what the hell was I supposed to do without mana? Vigor? Any normal Hunter could fuck until they died of exhaustion. I didn’t need this weird system at all!

My hands and feet trembled. Fighting dizziness, I desperately focused on the only remaining skill, 「Instant Death」.

‘This fucking piece of shit.’

It had betrayed my expectations. Instant Death. Instant Ejaculation. A hollow laugh escaped me. No matter how hard I tried to spin it, there was no saving this. Still, at least it gave me an awakening. Anything was better than being a normal person. But seriously, if they were going to register me, couldn’t they have given me one decent skill? I couldn’t exactly walk into the Association and say, “I can make people ejaculate…” My chest ached. Turning thirty and awakening was nice, but the start already felt completely blocked. Just as I was berating myself for how thoroughly screwed everything was—

“…?”

Suddenly the Ejaculation King System sent me a DM. I read it in a daze, then scrambled to put on clothes at the word “prepare.” Maybe it was instinct. They weren’t about to tell me to ejaculate right now, were they? Just as I finished dressing—

“Estrus..?”

Along with the brief description, a ten-minute timer immediately began counting down. It already smelled like trouble, but even rotten mackerel was still fish—an S-grade skill was S-grade. Just in case, I opened the door and stepped out. Then I remembered: ‘Wait… our house is a detached villa…’ We had moved to the middle of nowhere in the countryside. Even driving to the city took at least five minutes. And I, of course, was on foot.

I checked the time. It was already well past midnight. Staring at the mercilessly ticking timer, I opened the front door. If worst came to worst, I might have to use the forbidden technique, but thankfully the lights were off and my stepmother wasn’t home. Feeling a wave of self-loathing, I rushed outside.

Thud! I slammed the door and sprinted through the villa district like a madman. ‘Why is every light off..!!’ Anyone would do—an old person, even. Granny, creep, whatever. I just needed to use the skill. But the dark rural neighborhood offered nothing but a sparkling night sky and a humid summer breeze.

Three minutes left. I decided it was time to accept reality. Yeah. Bad luck. That was all there was to it. ‘I’ll get another chance later.’ This was only the tutorial. Getting an S-grade already meant things would only get better, right?

“Right. I’m an SSS-grade Hunter. I’m actually pretty lucky.”

I cursed, calmed down, cursed again. I must have looked bipolar. What kind of skill was this? One minute left. Emptying my mind, I looked up at the twinkling sky and calculated when we might move again. ‘I’ve relied on her too much.’ Not that I disliked my stepmother. Now that I had awakened, I was going to live a new life whether it turned out good or bad. Honestly, living together…

“Why are you outside? What are you doing here?”

“…?”

My judgment was instantaneous. ‘Instant Death! Instant Death!! Instant cum!!’ I glanced at the timer and unleashed the skill like a madman. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking. I just felt it was a waste not to use a skill they had given me. My stepmother tilted her head at my incomprehensible hand gestures, then suddenly collapsed.

“Huaa..! Haaang!! Auaaang!!”

“……Huh? M-Mom?!”

“D-Don’t look, son..!”

My stepmother screamed in panic. My own head short-circuited for a moment. What should I do? She trembled violently while begging me. Unable to do anything else, I stamped my feet, then finally approached her. I needed to call an ambulance and get her inside somehow.

Flash! A light burst into my vision like a camera flash.

“Agh!”

“Huuuugh.. Haa.. son.. Huuugh...!”

The lantern slipped from her hand and rolled ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠across the ground like it was fleeing. It cast flickering light along the dark country road ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠before finally stopping where she had collapsed. In the bright yellow glow, a puddle of liquid had formed on the asphalt. Stepping closer, I saw my stepmother with her legs spread, eyes rolled back, unconscious. Her lower abdomen was completely soaked.