#61. Poison for Poison
#61. Poison for Poison
"Hot heat drives out cold."
"Fighting poison with poison."
"You know what that means, right?"
...Hey. I know you're totally dismissing me as an Erotic Novelist, but hey, I'm still a writer at least.
"Yeah."
Fighting poison with poison...
But if I plug those words into the context I'm in right now, normal methods ain't gonna cut it...
"If Oppa cooperates, this whole mess might fizzle out way easier than you think."
"So what the hell are you planning exactly."
"Let's make a sequel."
"A sequel?"
I cocked my head at Na-eun's words.
"As much as it sucks to admit, Oppa's right—laundering this ain't gonna be that easy."
Na-eun yanks my arm and plops me down on the bed.
"But to bury the current aggro, we need even bigger aggro—that's my take."
Sure, it might pack more punch than some lame-ass 'Actually we were a couple lol' excuse, but that 'aggro' word was seriously grinding my gears.
"But going by your logic, we need something that blows the 'Eat and Dump' title outta the water—is that even doable?"
I eyed her all skeptical-like.
Without a word, she points at herself with her index finger.
"I'm right here."
"And what about you."
"Um... absolute stunner?"
Even she looked kinda embarrassed saying it, rolling her eyeballs around.
"A real friend doesn't pick you up when you fall."
She leans in and puffs warm breath right into my ear.
"They fall down with you—that's a true friend."
...Okay, now I'm even more freaked out.
After hearing her full plan, I gulped hard.
"...You. You sure you can handle this for real?"
This shit ain't just a double-edged sword...?
"It's my mess I started. If this clears up Oppa's misunderstanding, I don't give a damn."
"But if we actually pull this off, you'll..."
"...I'm only doing it 'cause I trust Oppa."
Na-eun stares me down all intense.
"...You have to take responsibility for me. Got it?"
We threw on our clothes and stepped out the front door with these grim, determined faces.
[Whoa. Fuck. This real?]
[Guy's fucking pitiful.]
[World's scary. That's why you gotta see the face first or get screwed.]
[No but with that face level, ain't it industry award shit?]
[World scary af.]
Comments exploding in real time.
The two guy and girl in the video.
Different background, but no doubt—the hot-topic Eat and Dump clip duo.
The guy's voice leaks out.
[...Feels good? Making up bullshit to drag someone to hell, that relieve you?]
"Yeah. Feels great. Now Oppa can never date another girl his whole life."
"Haa... What the actual fuck are you even doing this for."
The guy rips at his hair with bloodshot eyes like he's losing his goddamn mind.
"I told you I love you, Oppa. Yeah?"
"What the hell did I do so wrong that you go spouting that crap outside and cause this whole disaster!"
Drag.
The girl stands from her chair and approaches the guy.
"Yeah. If you'd just accepted my confession all nice and sweet, Oppa."
Total mismatch with the words, but a bright-ass smile plays on her lips.
And that's where the video cuts off.
This vid blows up with insane views under the title [Eat and Dump guy update]...
"Na-eun-ah."
"Yeah?"
"I'm thinking of quitting novels."
"Why all sudden?"
8 AM.
Students starting to trickle in one by one.
Still about an hour till Urban Planning kicks off.
"My situation right now feels more fictional than my novels."
"An Erotic Novelist like Oppa landing a girlfriend like me? Yeah, I get why you'd think that."
November.
Still a tad too warm for scarves.
Standing in front of the College of Architecture underground parking lot, both rocking identical red scarves—we look mad suspicious.
"But what's the deal coming out this early?"
"If we bus it during rush hour and stroll through the main gate together, we'll pull aggro hard."
...Even so, feels like we're already fucked. Us.
"And outfit details are crucial, Oppa."
Na-eun says while fussing with my scarf knot.
Navy-blue jeans, white sneakers.
Top: some name-brand hoodie.
Our first couple look, picked out together at the department store yesterday.
If we were doing couple shit, it'd be sweet as a gift or at least some wholesome shopping trip.
But yesterday's getup? Straight-up felt like costume props for a damn play.
8:40.
20 minutes till class.
Kakao from Hwi-min.
[Hey. Minho-ya. You... you good?]
This bastard. Always fucking annoying me, but now playing the caring friend card.
[Yeah on my way.]
[Hey don't sweat what the idiots say. That Han Na-eun fucking bitch. Had no clue she was like that. Sorry bout last time.]
[Nah nah I'm good. Drinks later?]
[Yeah. Nail the presentation today and just cut her off cold.]
Sorry...
Cutting her off ain't happening...
Hwi-min-ah...
"Who's that?"
I tap away at my phone keyboard, Na-eun tiptoes up to sneak a peek at my screen.
"Hwi-min."
"What's he saying?"
"Cut you off."
I read it straight-up, and Na-eun scrunches her face.
"Dump his ass as a friend."
I know it's a joke, but her puffed-up cheeks? Adorably pissed.
"How could you."
"Friends badmouthing your girlfriend? Don't keep 'em around."
"Then should I keep a girlfriend who trash-talks and tanks her boyfriend's whole life?"
"If that girlfriend's ready to take the fall and go to hell in his place, then yeah—keep her forever."
Phone buzzes again.
Figured Hwi-min, but nope.
[Kim Si-eun]
What the. Why's Si-eun texting me?
[Oppa. You coming to school today, right...?]
Damn... Everyone picturing me with shattered mental, ghosting campus?
Makes sense. Without Na-eun's Video #2 and today's scheme, I'd probably be 90% chance no-show today too.
[Yeah gotta. Presentation day.]
[Worried you might skipㅠ]
Yeah. Everyone's grades are precious and shit.
"Still texting Hwi-min Oppa?"
Na-eun fiddles with her phone and asks.
"Nah? It's Si-eun."
Si-eun slips from my mouth, Na-eun's big eyes go huge.
"Si-eun unnie? Our groupmate?"
"Yeah. Kim Si-eun."
"Huh. Didn't peg her for that."
"Nothing juicy. Check it yourself."
I shove the screen her way.
Just one damn line—what's there to trip over.
"Fucking sow bitch..."
...Choice of words, Na-eun.
Her unfairly pretty face dropping the trashiest curse.
"Not that pig-like skinny compared to you..."
Was just messing around, but Na-eun shoots me a feral glare from below.
"Don't you dare cross that line. Lee Min-ho."
"Yes ma'am..."
Na-eun does one last outfit inspection, then slots her arm right into mine.
"Phew... Oppa. Nail the acting. Got it?"
"I'll give it my best."
"The more awkward you get, the faster your girlfriend's life hits rock bottom. Keep that in mind."
9:58.
We time it perfect—roll into the classroom bang on 10.
"Let's go."
"...Yeah."
Arm-in-arm locked, we march straight into the classroom.
Soon as we step in without unhooking, bam—every eye lasers right to us.
...Knew it'd be like this.
I blow 'em off, flash Na-eun a smile.
"We'll crush the presentation today, right? Honey?"
"You bet~"
Spot Hwi-min and Si-eun, head their way.
Obviously sitting together for the presentation, but their faces...
"Hi. Hwi-min."
"Huh...? Uh... yeah..."
Hwi-min blinks those confused-ass eyes like his brain's buffering.
"Hello! Si-eun unnie!"
Na-eun beams a sunny greeting at Si-eun.
"Y-yeah... Hi, Na-eun-ah."
Hwi-min's got that 'gotta ask' vibe aimed at me, but right on cue, professor starts roll call as we plop down.
Presentations fire off one after another, about an hour ticks by.
Finally, our turn—Urban Planning Group 8.
"Okay... Next up... Group 8? Lee Hwi-min. Lee Min-ho. Kim Si-eun. Han Na-eun. Front and center."
Quick eye-lock with Na-eun.
She nods—we unwrap the scarves we've had bundled tight till now.
Murmurs.
Just us two strolling out? Whole classroom erupts in chaos.
Yeah, figures...
'Cause right now, on both our necks...
Presentation hasn't even started, but professor eyes us all iffy.
"Uh... Quick question before we dive in. You two in matching fits—your necks... how the hell..."
Way too many marks to call 'em kiss marks—prof probably thinks we got fucked up in some accident.
"Ahh... This?"
Na-eun squirms all bashful-like.
"'Cause Oppa and I had a steamy night yesterday..."
She mumbles it all shy.
Professor fake-coughs, waves us to start the presentation.
Life. Fuck.
And just like that, I leveled up from 'Eat and Dump guy' to 'Kiss mark villain.'